MsVaBch

Anyone who has ever dieted will appreciate this one.

 

I had gained weight but still thought I could fit into a beautiful beaded dress I had worn on my last cruise. I took it along without retrying it on-come on, it was only 10 pounds “or so” I had gained! Anyway, my D’s who were in another room, came in to make sure which dress I was wearing , as we had somewhat tried to color coordinate our outfits for the picture that night.

I was in the bathroom dressing , and had trouble with the zipper. I told my husband to go get in line for the pictures awhile with my two daughters and I’d be right there. (I was embarrassed that I couldn’t get it zipped, but felt sure I could).

So the family leaves and after taking off my underslip to make more room, I finally get the thing zipped. I lean over to gather my purse and hear the dreaded “sound”. Well, I look in the mirror and see that although the stitching has come undone a little, it’s not the actual zipper, and with my hair, you can’t see the place…all is still well.

I can’t find my room key and figure that the hubby took both, so out I go, shutting the door behind me. As I walk down the hall, I hear it again, “the sound”. But now I begin to feel the cool breeze on my back. I reach back an feel that yes, the zipper has now begun to go, and yes, the dress is ripping-but its still a relatively small tear. I decide to proceed and just have the picture taken and have my family stand behind me in the picture line. As I reach the stairs, I take one step and the loudest sound of all, as the hip seam rips. OK so I had no business wearing this thing.

At that very moment I got the giggles, and realized how ridiculous I was being by trying to wear this dress. I started laughing and rested my back against the railing. A couple passed me and smiled, wondering why I was standing there grinning from ear to ear and being “very friendly” to them. I was just trying not to crack up laughing. I continued to stand there in my beautiful dress (which is now backless and minus a hip seam). I knew I didn’t have my room key so I just stood there laughing and not moving! An older gentleman passes and starts up the stairs and turns to ask if I am OK. He thinks I am crying because I am laughing so hard that I AM crying. I literally wave himoff, not daring to move, and as he is leaving he says, “Well, you look absolutely gorgeous.” This sends me into more fits of laughing hysteria. He leaves and I look down, to see beads all over the floor where I have been standing. At this point, I am laughing so hard that I begin to wet myself. I turn and run down the hall back to my room dress ripping with almost every step, only to stand outside with no key. After only a minute or so, a cabin steward (not mine) came by. He didn't want to let me in, but i kept my butt against the wall and turned my upper back and he says, OH OH OH, and let me in. I slithered along the wall dying laughing, and I'm sure he too thought I was crying. I changed EVERYTHING. As I was almost ready for the second time, my husband and daughters came back to checkon me. I opened the door non chalantly and said, “the white dress didn’t fit so well”. Nobody in my family knows to this day what really happened. Maybe I should let the read this. Nah. :rolleyes:

THIS is the funniest thing that I think I have EVER read! EVER! (I could SOOOO picture this happening to me!) If/when it does, I hope I am able to take it with a grain of salt just as you did! AWESOME story!!Thanks for sharing! :)