dan40

Watermelon=fruit=confiscate

..........and won't customs be surprised.... when they take it home to eat it.lol

Customs confiscates fruit coming OFF the ship! Taking it on board you'd have to have it fit through the luggage scanner!:rolleyes::D

What if I replaced wine with booze and recorked it? And put a shrink sleeve around the neck of the bottle?

 

Steve

 

Don't want that new xray machine to get me.:D

Why not take a big watermelon injected full of vodka like we did in high school? The xray machine would never pick that up!

What if I replaced wine with booze and recorked it? And put a shrink sleeve around the neck of the bottle?

 

Steve

 

Don't want that new xray machine to get me.:D

Shouldn't this be a poll?:p

Caught with a Rum Runner?? How is that possible?

I approach the bartender and ask that he make me a Rum Runner. He does, I pay him and wander off sipping my drink. What's to catch???

Surely you aren't talking about those used colostomy bags people use for smuggling?

I did that tour on Miracle. They don't show you the morgue but they are willing to discuss it. There is also a brig, where you may end up if you have too much fun and don't die. Basically it is a crew cabin with a door that does not open from the inside.

 

I once read an article by a person who was employed as a piano player on a cruise ship, and his cabin was next to the morgue. Good place if you ask me... neighbors are usually quiet.

And WHAT do you do if they're NOT quiet????:eek::eek::D

One question. How much of what you ordered did you actually receive?

Received strangle ache, crease baychem, singlish mopping wid bother honey sigh, and copy.

July sum too?:D

LOL! :p

 

 

The old ruin sorbees post is where I got the inspiration for my "translation"... :D

An ALL TIME CLASSIC!

"Hoppy Bursday Two Shoes" sung on birthdays is good too.

copied and pasted from a previous post about the supper clubs:

 

Our family was on the Glory Aug. '09, Me, DW, DS, and DD.

 

Reservations were for 7:30. We arrived on time.

 

Some observations about the supper club:

 

There were only about 4 or 5 tables that were in attendance.

 

We had 2 blonde and attentive waitresses that were very attractive.

 

I could barely understand a word they said. Romanian, Slovak, :rolleyes:

 

They explained the cuts of meat, "toonii we hab a beddy find and weel marabilled coots obb beees - tweeble wansis of filley. And deees eees a a streep wit tweeenty wansis."

 

It was like thise for each menu item as it was presented.

 

I smiled and acted like I understood what they were saying, because they were cute...:D

 

My fork and knife were strangely magnetic, and I could attach one to the other by putting them close together, and could hold them up in the air.

 

One of our waitresses found this very funny. When I asked why this was, she laughed and said "weee don' know why dey do dis eeder" - at least I think that's what she said...

 

Food was head and shoulders above the MDR.

 

I'll be back. :)

They were in Room Service before the Steakhouse.

Room Service(RS): ''Morny, Ruin sorbees''

Guest : ''Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service''

RS : ''Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to oder sunteen??''

Guest : ''Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs''

RS : ''Ow July den?''

Guest : ''What??''

RS : ''Ow July den?...pry,boy,pooch?''

Guest : ''Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled

please.''

RS : ''Ow July dee baychem...crease?''

Guest : ''Crisp will be fine''

RS : ''Hokay. An San tos?''

Guest : ''What?''

RS : ''San tos. July San tos?''

Guest : ''I don't think so''

RS : ''No? Judo one toes??''

Guest : ''I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what

'judo one toes' means.''

RS : ''Toes! toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish

mopping we bother?''

Guest : ''English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.'

Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.''

RS : ''We bother?''

Guest : ''No..just put the bother on the side.''

RS : ''Wad?''

Guest : ''I mean butter...just put it on the side.''

RS : ''Copy?''

Guest : ''Sorry?''

RS : ''Copy...tea...mill?''

Guest : ''Yes. Coffee please, and that's all.''

RS : ''One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease

baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy...rye??'

Guest : ''Whatever you say''

RS : ''Tendjewberrymud''

Guest : ''You're welcome''

:D:D

Nice Pic. I had never heard of the Mardi Gras. Makes the Holiday look big.

MG was Carnival's first and only ship at the time [1972]. It was built in 1961 as an ocean liner and was named "Empress of Canada." It was 42,000 tons.

Holiday was built in 1985 and is actually 46,000 tons, actually a little bigger but designed as a cruise ship. MG ran aground in Government Cut, leaving Miami on its very first Carnival cruise. A fuel barge had to take off fuel so it could refloat. But once it was free of the sand, the barge could not pump the fuel back aboard. It was a Bahamas cruise, in the Bahamas they had to take all the coins out of the slot machines to buy enough fuel to get back to Miami.

Hard to believe they went from that VERY humble beginning to the world's largest cruiseline.

OFFICIAL CRUISE CRITIC PLATINUM CRUISERS

01 CRUZN BUCKEYE - OHIO

02 Icarrythebags - Ohio

03 CrazyAboutCruising- New York

04 bbiggar-Wisconsin

05 Cotton

06 VoyagerFL - Florida (via Indiana)

07 Tom-n-Cheryl - FLORIDA

08 Nautical but Nice - Missouri

09 Elaine515 - Florida

10 LHP and family - Memphis

11 Ladyspoilt and family - Tennessee

12 Cruiser64-Florida

13 Beach4me - South Carolina

14 YesitDonna - Massachusetts

15 RICHFRET - Florida

16 JBHCW-Jane-North Carolina

17 BARBARA J.W KENTUCKY

18 MrPete - New York

19 Doug910 - Florida

20 GottaLuvCruising - Florida

21 Mich6674 - Florida

22 Luv's Crusin' BJW North Carolina

23 JJudy-Michigan

24 burtonsgigi - Fort Mill, SC

25 Cruisedogs2 - Yorktown, VA

26 OBX_FIN and obx_fintoo - Virginia

27 ahoys-only one ahoy--Kathy from Florida

28 ILuvCarnival - Cleveland, Ohio

29 crusinsusan - PA

30 gator bait - Florida

31 jlcga - Florida

32 dls - California

33 Blueocean and husband - Ohio

34 Ronath - Louisiana

35 Mosel - Florida

35 MILEMRKR63- HARVEY CEDARS, NJ

37 PeterV - London United Kingdom

38 bthorn1108 - Florida (by way of Massachusetts)

39 Mike/Cheryl - Omaha, NE

40 Suzys - New Jersey

41 PSRCPA - Florida

42 Host Graham - Rochester, NY

43 CoCoNut Willie- Texas

44 Grouchpuss - Arizona

45 pam7553 - Illinois

46 molme-Georgia

47 meltla (Tommy) New Orleans, LA

48 bonniemari - Tennessee

49 cruzinsteve - Texas

50 jy148 - New Jersey

51 cld1225-Virginia

52 Carnivalkim-Georgia

53 rburns44-Ohio

54 Karter - Florida

55 Birdiegirl - Minnesota

56 Emtnmare - Minnesota

57 mamawg- Blue Springs, Missouri

58 Diane F and Jerry - California

59 rpsinnj - New Jersey

60 gymbrat33 - Florida

61 bonstersd - California

62 Bea2002- Florida

63 Sandgnat- Geogia

64 Cjm61 - New York

65 Kstrickman - Maryland

66 rwdtgt - Florida

67 Louisiana Joe and Family

68 earlethepearl

69 Litewait ( plus dd 21, & ds 15) San Diego, Ca

70 Quickrate- Florida

71 sk8rpatty - California

72 shortstop95 (jane & luke) delaware

73 SCUBA Mark - Texas

74 dotshub- Larry & Doris - Florida

75 woodi- Oklahoma

76 volman and kipmom - Tennessee

77 Bases5 Florida

78 Lv2camp&cruise- Chris and Kim, Tennessee

79 KenMo & DH - Missouri

80 smarks & DH oldfart - GA.

81 Floatway and Hubby - Friendswood, Texas

82 Luv2cruz44 - Redding, CA

83 Stircrzy - Texas (some of us got left off in an earlier posting)

84 irishgirl - Michigan

85 Candigirl41 - So. CA (2nd try)

86 luv2cruise777l - So Ca.

87 Cruise from NY

88 Joel (Cruzman), LA (Lower Alabama)

89 Amanda, also from Lower Alabama

90 75Vette - Missouri

91 Yogi2929 - San Bernardino County, CA

92 JaguarGirl - Jacksonville, Florida

93 vettebuf - Elaine and Frank and Jon, Sicklerville, NJ

94 airmanship - Arkansas

95 *Luv2Cruise*- New York

96 Flynlo - Oklahoma

97 cruisergirl2002 - Indiana

98. Deaf Dude - New Orlean

99. Dan40&Barb-Florida

We wrap our valuable in our dirty underwear!:D

A good thief will 'sniff' out your valuables!!!

Erwwwww,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Dan

do you have to get the ceaser salad with anchovies? i love ceaser salad but hate anchovies. are the anchovies in the dressing or just mixed in?

The anchovies are supposed to be crushed into a paste and throughly mixed into the dressing. No fish parts for your palate and no anchovy taste, just an 'exotic tang' that you cannot identify. If you can taste the anchovy, there is too much in it.

Some of us order anchovies on the side to mix in. I also like tomatoes in my Caesar and no croûtons.:eek:

Dan

:D Thanks Dan-Man ! :D I did read this book after taking my first cruise and had not yet got involved with chats here @ Cruise Critic. It did offer some info although very Biased things against the cruise industry. Things like when RCI started their "Save The Waves" program to save the Oceans from pollution and then were cought /documented & fined millions of $$ on several occasions for Dumping Oil and Dirty Bilge water into the Oceans during the overnights on ships such as the Sovereign of the Seas. As I said, It didn't change my love for cruising and I would agree that most if not all that is in this book get's discussed on these boards at one point or another but for a quick read it was alright. The author of that book says he went on 30 cruises to base his opinions and interviews for this book. Certainly their are many of our Brothers and Sisters here @ Cruisecritic that have that # Beat but that is still an impressive # in this Humble jailers opinion..:D P.S. The next extra $12.00 I get I will toss in the Trash for you though ok ?;)

Well the never-been-humble Dan-Man has 50 cruises. And not one has been perfect, but all have been great. I've experienced 40 foot waves and 80 knot winds across the deck. Not ANYTHING a cruiseline can do about that! And that storm COVERED the entire Atlantic, so they could not steer around it either. I've had 3 terrible dining room waiters [the 2 man team on one cruise]

And a few other MINOR complaints, none that were expose's.

Your example of RCL getting caught dumping trash and their subsequent multi-million dollar fine were well documented here and on the RCL board AT THE TIME. There is little OR NOTHING, that happens in the cruise business that is not reported on one or more of the Cruise Critic boards. Your author had no interest in anything but making a buck with a sensationalized bash of the cruise industry. I'd guess he has a background in the media. You want a much better trashing of cruising? Go to cruise bruise. They say anything to knock the industry, and they act like they are 'reporting' too.

Dan

Their is a Great Book that came out in 2002 Called "CRUISE SHIP BLUES" It tells all the diffrent things that cruiselines spend Millions and Millions of $$ a year to try to keep "US" The customers from knowing ! It is a paperback and about 300 pages long and is VERY interesting ! Give it a try.. It didn't change my love for cruising but did give me some new prospective on some things..I bought it on E-Bay for $12.00

I'd say you should have burned the $12.00 rather than read this whine by a chronic complainer. He just looked at , and invented, everything bad in order to write a book. There is no attempt at balance in this piece of trash.

There was not a single item in the book that was new or different than things discussed here.

Dan

I like biographies and such. Not really into the romance novels. I do like mysteries too. Any suggestions? I'm going on a 7 day cruise with a forcast of rain, so I'll need to occupy my time with a book that will hold my interest for a while. :) Thanks

"THE DEVIL IN THE DEEP BLUE SEA"

The story of how Carnival, RCL, NCL and others came to be where they are today.

Should be required reading for all cruisers [at least those who can]:eek::D

Dan

yeah, you are correct.

 

I am sure the security folks could care less, especially since I believe they are contracted and are not Carnival employees.

The people scanning the carry ons answer to a US Gov. boss, not CCL. They don't care but their boss is close by. The checked bags are scanned inside the ship, almost surely by CCL employees. And as long as there are no HQ bosses around, they couldn't care less.

Dan

Good to know! I have wondered about that. I've also wondered what they do with all the waste... food, toilets, etc. Not trying to sound gross, but...

No different than a motor home. Waste goes into Grey water holding tanks or BLACK water holding tanks. Showers etc, to grey water. "Terlets" to black water. Some ships dehydrate the waste and compress it.

Dan

The buffet also has hot chocolate powder and hot water available 24/7. We have often had a dish of ice cream and a hot coco before bedding down.

Dan

If I understand the above correctly, the only thing available late night is pizza?

 

Also, do you know how late they serve dinner and is the Bistro a different buffet from the Cezanne? Sorry for so many questions! Thanks!

Pizza AND room service [free] are available 24 hours. The buffet does serve hot food around 11:30PM And one night there will be a midnight buffet somewhere.

The Grill is out by the pool. The bistro and Cezanne make up the buffet. All the various stations are open at lunch and dinner time. Some will be closed in the later evening. But what's open will be obvious. Also in the buffet area, available 24 hours is coffee, tea, iced and hot, [maybe punch, not sure, I don't drink the stuff.] AND ice cream. Its a nightmare for the WASTEline.

Dan

If they had a menu, you might miss your cruise in the time it would take to read it all.

Name: Restaurant Cezanne Location: Lido Deck 9 - midship and aft / Panorama Deck 10 - aft

Seating: 1396 Hours: open for breakfast-lunch-dinner

Pizzeria open 24 hours

hot/cold beverages open 24 hours

Function: Self-Service Casual Restaurant

Late Night Bistro - dinner

Buffet / Specialty Stations: salad bar; pasta; carving station

The Grill: hot dogs, hamburgers, chicken, steak sandwiches and fries

Taste of Nations: food from different regions each day

Asian: Variety of Asian food, including Sushi

Fish N' Chips: Fish and seafood

New York Deli: Deli Sandwiches piled-high and favorite sides

Desserts: including soft-serve ice cream

Pizzeria: pizza, calzone and ceasar salad

Dan

Do any of the eating venues on the Conquest serve fried okra?

 

Thanks

I believe it is an international FELONY to serve Okra in any form outside of the gulf states. And Florida is not a gulf state...................:D

Barb loves the stuff, fixed ANY way. I cook it for her all the time. I love all veggies, but okra is not near the top of my list.:(

Dan

I agree that renting scooters is a terrible idea. But the $300.00 charge is not unreasonable. Take your car to a body shop with a quarter size scrape on the paint and there is no way you'll get it fixed for $300. More like $500. And you had that much damage on each scoot. $300. is not bad. Doesn't matter if they fix it or not, you damaged their property.

My car was 2 days old when a girl backed out of a parking space and hit my BUMPER. Left a little tiny scrape on my bumper but I was PO'd. 2 days old! Took it to 2 body shops. $1018 and $1070. Got her check for 1070. If you look real close you can still see the tiny scrape.

Dan

You can book a cat. 7 BL GTY. And you can book a cat.8 BL GTY.

The cat. 7's [spirit class] are obstructed.

Book a cat 8 BL GTY and there ARE NO obstructed cat. 8's on any Carnival ship.

The cabins will ALL be exactly the same. You might get one with something above or below you that can make late nite noise. But its a vacation and you don't need to be up to go to work the next day and you can nap whenever you want. But then I've never got a noisy cabin when booking gty.'s

Dan

Many folks do.... I was corrected by our RCI rep a while back, and learned the hard way !!! :D

I think of them like CCL for Carnival Cruise Lines and Carnival Corp. &plc for the total company

So its RCI for Royal Carib. and X and just RCCL for Royal Caribbean Cruise Line by itself. Right or wrong, that's how I think of them.

Is that off topic??????:p

OT Dan

I'll bet that 10 years from now [OR MUCH LESS] ALL ships, ALL lines will be smoke free. Out of American ports for sure, but most likely worldwide.

Whoda thunk bars would go smokeless?

Dan