btoneill

Waiting for Grease to start so figured I'd do a quick update, out of order, but, I don't care. If it confuses you tough nuggies!

So, attached is the saddest employee on the cruise ship. I've seen happier people at a wake. This guy makes "Sad Keanu" seem like the happiest man on the planet. Seriously how can anyone seem this sad? Who gave him this job anyways? Did someone think "Screw it, let's give the saddest guy ever the job of reserving seats for Sky and Sea Class guests as well as Pinnacle members.

On another note our Genie got us awesome seats at a bar table to watch the show, as seen from amazing photographic skills!

Ut oh, school bell just rang, have to run to class!!!!!

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I have a bunch to write still! :)

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If you see anything about Harmony hitting a large rock or plowing through a coral reef, no worries, just me doing the bridge tour! :)

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Out of context over heard in the elevator quote of the day, aka OOCOHITEQOTD:

"I drug my grandchild."

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There is no scoops on Harmony. Sad face.

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Did they call you that special name that some have reserved for the line cutters?;)

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Another random note. The elevators. They have this chime when they reach a floor. I'm a big James Bond movie fan. The elevator does this little "ding-dong" two note sound. Maybe I'm tone deaf, ok, yes, i actually am tone deaf. My wife can't stand when I sing, but, I digress, I swear the following is true.

For Your Eyes Only, 1981, Roger Moore as James Bond. The theme song is by Sheena Easton. There is a 2 tone "ding-dong" in the song and they have it throughout the movie. I swear the tone is the same. I want to break into the theme song every time it dings.

I leave this link to YouTube that will hopefully work. You can't miss the little two ding-dong thing in the song. If you're on the cruise, or have been, I dare you to tell me I'm wrong.

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Back in the room while waiting for the ladies to get ready for dinner. Going to hit Izumi Hibachi tonight. Nothing to say about Hibachi since we haven't been there yet.

But, since I'm in the room and have access to my bluetooth keyboard, I'll try to type of some of yesterdays fun.

But first, I almost forgot about about getting lunch at Johnny Rockets on Sunday. We were sitting by the window by the boardwalk. Wife hears someone elses spawn crying outside the window. She looks over, the kid was just being lifted up by her dad, sees my wife, and screams at her. It was like the kid was possessed by Satan. Her face like grew several sizes. Was almost like one of the lizards that make themselves look larger when they hiss. I took a picture of the kid despite my wife's better judgement. Posting the picture of the kid here.

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Ahhhh, the Suite Life! Love the Suite Pool Deck cabanas!

I have titled this photo "Paint me like one of your French girls"

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I never want this review to end....it's hilarious, somewhat informative, but truly hilarious.

 

(seriously, you did not watch the whole super bowl? It just goes to show that the wrong wings can spoil the fun - what a game it was.... loved every moment, especially the final score.)

 

LOVE this review, my favorite ever! Hope the full body cast is not today's outcome!

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Speaking of beer, our room is so stocked!!!

Sadly I was told by the wife we must also keep water and soda cold. I cannot turn it into a beer fridge. Thankfully I was able to have them remove all the bottles of Heineken. That junk is so skunky. *Shiver*

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Forgot the obligatory picture to go with the story! Me as a 15'er drunk after the Super Bowl :)

It was windy. My hair looks like crap. But I'm on a boat! *Breaks into singing The Lonely Island song*

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So, apart from my brief lunch post, a lot has happened since I posted before the Super Bowl. We had our small gathering in the room, Genie had a bunch of food, beer, wine, etc delivered. Of course, how hard is it for kitchen staff to know the difference between Buffalo Wings and wings with BBQ?!?!?! Look up the recipe online. Hell, I'll do it for you here from memory. A couple sticks of unsalted butter melted in a small sauce pan. Add a cup of Franks Red Hot. Put in a little bit of cayenne pepper, a dash of garlic powder, a drizzle of Worcestershire sauce, and a couple slashes of white vinegar. Put it on some low heat and mix it all together. Don't use BBQ sauce. I bet this was probably Heinz BBQ sauce that came from a gallon can or something. Just no. Just don't do it. It made me sad.

But, the Patriots lost! w00h00! We didn't end up watching past half time tho, we decided to make friends on Deck 15 at the Pool Bar, starboard side. You know the place, it's where all the drunk people hang out in a cloud of carcinogenic particulates. But it's also where all the fun drunk people are! I love fun drunk people! Seriously, it's one of my favorite parts of cruising. Hanging out with drunks from all over the world having a grand olde time. And the bartenders there rock, some of the best on the ship. Love them! Except at like 10am, those guys suck. I guess the other guys do have to sleep at some point in time.

Wife went back to the room early to take a little nap. Decided to get pizza at midnight, some idiot person knocked into her and her pizza fell on the floor! And they laughed. These ladies, I use this term loosely, no, not like that! Get your mind out of the gutter! They laughed. At. Knocking. A. Pizza. On. The. Floor. Do you have no dignity? It's not like it was something unimportant like a piece of pie or something. Pizza. At. Midnight. Some people.

Eventually she made it back up to 15 to meet all my new friends!!!! Eventually ended up in the casino. Decided to boost RCCL stock by hitting the blackjack table. The dealer was nice enough personally, but I swear she is getting kickbacks from RCCL on taking all of our money! I even tried bribing her with a few dollars here and there when I eventually got a blackjack.... Didn't help! Oh, by the way, did I mention that blackjack pays 6 to 5?!?!?! Seriously, 6. to. 5. What freaking bean counter in Miami decided that they would change the universal standard of 3 to 2 to be 6 to 5. $10 bet and you win $12. It should be paying $15. I want my three dollars! (picture me riding a bike chasing after the blackjack dealer yelling "Three Dollars!!!!", if you don't get the reference you are seriously lacking in your 1980's movie knowledge. Fix that.) Helen, one of the aforementioned deck 15 friends, I will now refer to them as "15'ers" decided to try to bring my luck by sitting by me. She's British, I'm pretty sure "luck" must mean something completely different in Great Britain. Thankfully casino was closing shortly, yes, we closed the casino. I'm not sure if I should be proud or sad, or, maybe a little bit of both. But, the bed was calling my name.

Speaking of which, oh man. The bed in this Star Class Suite. It is SOOOOO comfy!!!! The sheets are magical. So soft, like they are made of 1,000's of smooth baby bottoms. Every night before I go to sleep i literally (yes, I know what the word actually means) rub my hands up and down for a good 30 to 45 seconds because it amazes me how silky smooth and soft they are. Not like actual silk/satin sheets where you slide off. I think that would be really bad on a cruise ship doing a little rocking at night. Could you imagine how many times you'd slide off? But I digress, those sheets tho. Did I mention how soft they are? :) It's the little things in life that tend to make me so happy.

More to come later, I'm just chilling in the room now drinking beer from the mini-fridge working up a good buzz for hitting the FlowRider in about 45 minutes. If you don't hear back from me later, it could be because I'm getting fitted for a full body cast. But, as long as I have one free hand I hopefully can fill folks in on yesterday in wonderful Labadie. Yes, that is the actual name. But RCCL decided that Americans are too stupid to properly pronounce a French name and they changed it to Labadee. Probably the same people who decided to put Heinz BBQ sauce on chicken wings and say they are "Buffalo Wings".

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"The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated."

Still alive, more posting to come later as the sky is pissing on us today. Right now wearing my nice baseball cap for lunch at Costal Kitchen.

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We're hanging out at the bar on 15 in the smoking area :)

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And this is how you watch the Superbowl!

Skol Vikings! :)

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So, haven't updated in a while, what to post? Well, survived muster and was able to get a drink before the DT's set in. :)

Note, do not do something stupid and try to go to Johnny Rockets far a shake after muster. The staff there at that time I swear are on probation for lousy service. Wife drank two pomerganite margaritas while wait for the spawns shake. That included the time it took for me to order drink, deliver it, go back to Sabor to order again. It's a milkshake. It's what you're known for. It's not rocket science. But, I digress, a lot....

Eventually ended up in the suite lounge and met a few fellow CC folks. I'm proud to say I sat and had drinks with Bill W. I can now say I am in fact a friend of Bill W. Granted, William is his middle name, but, whatever. It works for me! Can't wait to tell my dad, he'll be so proud! :) :) :)

Picture attached is of Bill W's socks.

Had dinner at Sabor. Place was empty. What is wrong with people?!?!? This place has some of the best food on the ship! Plus, tequila, lots of tequila. And those fresh chips. I could subsist on those for a couple of days! Still pissed that some whiny pansy FDA or some other useless governmental organization has force the wonderful staff of Sabor to stop preparing guacamole at your table. Why? Why can't we have nice things?!?!?!?!

Ended up in the casino, of course. I swear they are rigging the roulette wheel. 2 0's and a 00 in the span of 4 spins?!?!?! What are the odds? Seriously, what are the odds of that, I've had too many beers to math right now.

More to come later, need to head back to room to prepare for the Superbowl Owl party!

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So, where are folks hanging out?

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Jimmi as seen from our dry muster drill. It's not even dry humor. No humor at all. I think I should suggest the muster drill people take lessons from Southwest airlines staff. They put the fun in Safety!

Do I talk to Captain Stubbing or Julie the cruise director... I think I'm starting to get the shakes from withdrawal.

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Dude. Seriously? You can't take your booze to muster?!?!?!? If the ship is sinking you can guarantee I'll have a drink in my hand! Maybe two. Try to keep me out of the life boat sans a bottle of beer!

On the bright side our muster location is in the AquaTheater, so, we have comfy chairs! But, no booze. Another thing to bring up to Captain Stubbing.

On another good note, RCCL has seen fit to provide us with a pet. See the photo attached of "Jimmi the snail". Our almost 15yo daughter named him. He's on the side of the deck.

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So, I was wrong. "We" were not all unpacked. I was. The wife is still unpacking. And she's jealous that I'm a guy and don't travel with 3 steamer trunks of clothing, footwear, and makeup. Sorta like in the old movies, but, not a matched set. But, I am keeping her plied with a steady stream of champagne that was in the room when we arrived... I think I will survive this injustice unscathed.

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We are all checked in, in our room, luggage unpacked. Time to relax on our deck.

Oh, did I forget to mention we are like the Beverly Hillbillies? Somehow we passed the screening and they sold us a Star Class room! So far I highly recommend it. In the words of Ferris, "It is so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up."

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Don't forget to join our roll call and meet and mingle! :)

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This is not the weather I signed up for. I mean seriously RCCL, it's raining. Do I get a discount if I get wet before boarding?!?!?!? Captain Stubing is going to hear about this!!!!

This is just a quick update before going to our FREE breakfast. It wasn't included in the room, but, due to, shall I call them "issues", we got free breakfast! And dammit, I'm going to get my money's worth!!!!

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Decided to try a live thread for this cruise, because, why not?

This will be full of sarcasm, humor, and down right stupidity. And drinking. Lots of drinking. If you are looking for normal, look elsewhere. If you don't want rambling run on sentences you should really think about reading some other live thread that is not written by someone who thinks punctuation is showing up on time to a graduation party of their second cousin twice removed brothers former roommate.

So..... 3am today, alarm goes off. 4 hours of sleep. -10F outside. Why do I live where the air hurts my face?!?!?!?! Off to airport we go, my darling wife, not quite as darling 14yo daughter (those with teens understand), and I are off to the airport, driving on roads completely devoid of others. All goes according to plan! No delays, no overweight luggage, and no full body cavity searches!

First leg of flight goes fine, well, I think it did, I was asleep, but did score a bag of peanuts!!!! Same plane layover in Atlanta, Southwest staff is awesome! We made fun of the Dallas Cowboys! The pilot gave me a Dt. Mountain Dew! We got to pet a really cute beagle puppy type creature! Staff was very glad it wasn't a peacock! Couldn't get off plane as steward threatened to steal my headphones. Then, they boarded. Yes, them. You know them, they board flight before noon and start pounding drinks. Which is fine, unless you are a loud mouth braggert who is sitting across the aisle from another drunk load mouth braggert. Seriously, no one is impressed that you're staying at the Lowe's on South Beach. We don't care about your trip on some barefoot cruise. We were up at 3am. We want more sleep! They want more booze. Whatever, you will not ruin my trip!

Get to Ft Lauderdale, on time no less! Airport in it's never ending state of construction. Somehow all our luggage arrived! Off to transport we go! Thankfully we did not make the mistake we made last cruise. We did not wait 30 minutes for a hotel shuttle. We did not pile 15 people into a 12 passenger van. We did not have a half working AC. We were smart, we got a towncar service! We were not crammed! We had great comfy ride to hotel! Yay for me!

We get to hotel, start drinking at 1:30pm. 9 hours of drinking later, we get to now! A lot happened, but, well, 9 hours of drinking, I can finish this in the morning before we board the beautiful and majestic Carnival Celebrat.... Errr, wait, that's not right. Harmony of the Seas, that's the ship!

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