Help!! Save the date/invitation etiquette for cruise ship wedding!

[jaded99]

We just booked our wedding for next May on the Carnival Miracle in the port of New York. We live in Massachusetts, about a 3.5 hour drive away, so we are chartering a bus.

 

Here's the problem: We can only have 50 non-sailing guests, and the chartered bus will only hold 50 people. We don't mind doing separate travel arrangements for people who are going on the cruise with us, and we plan on maxing out the 50 non-sailing BUT we have no idea yet how many are sailing with us, so we don't know how many total people we can have.

 

We just had save-the-dates printed so we could let everyone know the date so they can find out if they can attend, but with there being a lot of travel time etc we really do not know how many will be able to attend.

 

I'm scared that if I only send invites to the top few people I won't get enough people to attend - BUT what if more people can go than I think? I thought about sending an A list of invitations out a few weeks earlier than B list so I could get the people closest to us first, but the thing is, if I don't send save-the-dates to A list AND B list I'm afraid B list people who normally could have gone if they had planning time won't be able to because they didn't have enough notice to get time off work.

 

Am I making any sense? I am kind of frantic, because with the save-the-dates we're sending the info on the cruise so people can choose to join us, and the cruise part needs to be RSVP'd by July 7. Is it completely tacky to send the save-the-date and cruise info to everyone, when I have a limit on the RSVPs I can accept for the wedding? I just don't know how many people will be able to come, it all depends.

 

How did you handle inviting/save-the-dates for your cruise ship wedding with a limited guest count?

 

Could I do save-the-dates to everyone since I included something like "We can have 50 non-sailing guests so you don't need to come on the cruise to come to the wedding", and send invitations that say the cruise ship will only let the first 50 people RSVP? And how do I handle inviting families that have 5 or 6 kids (we have a few of those on both sides) when I don't want to slight them by not inviting, but really can't have 3 or 4 families take up all our spaces?

Edited June 8, 2011 by jaded99

[Sonobride]

We are having a similar issue. We are booked for next August, and we have set up everything with Carnival through our Travel Agent.

She locked in prices at a lower rate til the end of June.

 

Initially, we sent out an email letter to our family and close friends who were on out TOP list of guests. Knowing that most will NOT come on the cruise with us - at least they have the option. That list is about 52 people.

 

I have not sent out Save the Dates yet - I havent really found any that I like!

 

As far as I have heard, you can have more than 50 people at your reception. Sailing or Non Sailing. If there are more than 50, you supposedly have to pay the extra cost of another "coordinator" and any other expenses - it should be in your packet of information that they send you.

[jaded99]

Oh, that would be interesting and helpful. I understood the limit of 50 non-sailing guests to mean that you couldn't add any more no matter what. If all we need to do is pay the extra $150 for a coordinator, we could just do that if we need to. I will call my Carnival wedding coordinator today and find out if that's the case! Thanks for that suggestion. I hope that's true :)

 

PS: I couldn't find any save the dates I liked either, so I designed my own :) I do some freelance graphic design stuff so luckily I had some idea how to do it. There are a lot of really blah-looking ones out there!

Edited June 8, 2011 by jaded99

[jaded99]

Darn, the wedding coordinator said 50 non-sailing is the absolute max. They can sometimes accomodate 1 or 2 last minute RSVPs but not always. Now back to my oringinal dilemma.... anyone ever heard of sending save-the-date cards with a pre-RSVP, just something asking people to let you know if they definitely CAN'T come so you can ivnite more?

[Sonobride]

oh crap........! Yikes...lol.......we might be in the same boat...so to speak.

Well, it is what it is. At this point I need to re-do our list anyways. See if we will end up with more than 50 NON sailing guests....It is kind of ridiculous actually - why do they care how many? you would be paying for them to eat and drink anyways!!

[chicchic325]

I'd call the people you really want to sail or not sail with you. How many people do you think would actually sail? (In my family- none to almost none).

 

I'd send Save the dates to everyone you want to attend. However, you are talking about a May 2012 wedding with a July 2011 group booking deadline, right? if that is the case, I wouldn't be too worried about the "getting time off" they would have lots of time to request that, in fact some work places won't take requests that early.

 

Your guests who want to sail but miss the Carnival Travel Agent deal, can always book at a later date as long as they have the info to you by 3 wks before the wedding (this is my understanding, is it not correct?)

[jaded99]

I'd call the people you really want to sail or not sail with you. How many people do you think would actually sail? (In my family- none to almost none).

 

Same here probably. I actually doubt any family except groom's parents will be sailing with us, but we do have a lot of friends who are interested.

 

I'd send Save the dates to everyone you want to attend. However, you are talking about a May 2012 wedding with a July 2011 group booking deadline, right?...

 

I read on the knot's site that you shouldn't send Save the Dates to people that you won't be able to invite to the actual wedding, but they don't cover wedding venues that have capacity limits like this. Of course I have no clue how many will actually attend. Do you think it would be tacky to enclose a little slip of paper withe the s-t-ds that explains we have a limited capacity, so could they please let us know now if they definitely won't be able to go, so we can send additional s-t-d's out to others?

Your guests who want to sail but miss the Carnival Travel Agent deal, can always book at a later date as long as they have the info to you by 3 wks before the wedding (this is my understanding, is it not correct?)

 

I think so, they just won't be able to take advantage of the reduced deposit. Also at this point we don't have 8 confirmed cabins which we need to get the group deal but it has only been a few days.

Thanks so much for your input :)

 

Also Sonobride I need a "Like" button for what you said LOL. I'll pay them extra to have more, don't see why they won't let me.

Edited June 8, 2011 by jaded99

[smiley01]

As far as the bigger families w/ lots of kids, I would not invite the kids unless it is your family. I would just address the inventation out to parents. Not everyone you invite will be able to attend, espcially destination weddings. I think about half show on DW.

[Sonobride]

Jaded, it seems we have similar dilemmas. We will have to keep each other informed!

[jaded99]

Jaded, it seems we have similar dilemmas. We will have to keep each other informed!

 

Our coordinator did tell us that they can sometimes add a few extra people, so at least if we get an extra last minute RSVP we might be able to fit them.

 

We're in the process of trying to narrow our list down to only 100 people instead of the 175 or so we first came up with, guessing that a weekday wedding a few hours from where most of our family lives will probably only get a 50% RSVP rate.... we hope... lol

 

It's hard though. I feel bad about the people we are having to cut. Let me know if you think of any good ideas and I'll do the same!

[dcdiva]

It's definitely a tricky situation. My own wedding was during the cruise, so you had to sail with us to be there. But my cousin was married on Miracle and has a large family most of whom live close by on Long Island. So the non-sailing guest limit was a concern. The wedding was on a Friday, but that actually didn't keep that many people away.

 

My cousin encouraged people to sail with them. Save the dates went out 18 months in advance so people could save money, get vacation time scheduled, etc. But the s-t-d was for "our wedding cruise", not for the wedding itself. So people understood they would be invited to join the cruise, but not necessarily JUST the wedding. That gave them some flexibility with the non-sailing guest list. Of course, they knew certain people (mostly close family) wouldn't be able to cruise, and they worked with those folks to make arrangements. By the time the actual wedding inviations went out, they pretty much knew who absolutely wouldn't be able to sail. In the end, about 45 sailed, and another 45 came just for the wedding.

 

Here's a suggestion about handling families with kids. Spread the word that unless kids are sailing, they can't be accomodated at the wedding. And really, having been at my cousin's wedding, I can tell you it would have been no fun at all for the kids. Imagine how much fun it would not be for a kid to get up early, get dressed up, sit through a long car ride, then stand around for an hour or more waiting to board. And it would be even less fun for the parents! In your case, adding a three hour bus trip to the mix would make it even more challenging. I am sure people will understand why bringing the kids isn't a good plan.

[Bride2Be0911]

You are also able to extend your RSVP (deposit with the cruise line) deadline up to 3 times with the cruise. My TA did it for us twice and by the time the third time rolled around all but one cabin had paid their deposit.

We are getting married in port during the cruise, so everyone that is attending my wedding is sailing. I would call or email the guests that you really want to attend ahead of time though, because people will surprise you. We have almost 40 people sailing and we only invited 52.

[Blue Line]

You are also able to extend your RSVP (deposit with the cruise line) deadline up to 3 times with the cruise. My TA did it for us twice and by the time the third time rolled around all but one cabin had paid their deposit.

We are getting married in port during the cruise, so everyone that is attending my wedding is sailing. I would call or email the guests that you really want to attend ahead of time though, because people will surprise you. We have almost 40 people sailing and we only invited 52.

 

first of all: YES, I know this is an old post, however, I am still hoping that I can get some info...

 

Bride2Be, I noticed that you live in California, and I believe that the cruise you went on was a Caribbean cruise.

 

The reason I mention that is because we too live in California and we are planning on getting married in 2015 on the oasis of the seas (which goes out of fort lauderdale). I noticed that you said that you had 40 people sail with you, and am wondering how you "convinced" (for lack of a better word) 40 people to fly across country and then take a cruise.

 

I will say, that I was thinking that it might just be my bride, son and I on our wedding day until I saw your posts....It gives me some hope that people may make the journey.

 

Hopefully you come back to CC, or someone with a similar situation will chime in...thanks in advance!!!

[CCMS14]

I know this wasn't directed to me but I thought I would chime in. We have 60 sailing guests coming from throughout Canada to Miami, and the biggest motivators in getting them there (I think), was firstly the fact that we did it at a time that a lot of our friends/family take vacation anyway, also, by giving people a lot of notice (13 months), it gave people time to plan financially and their vacation time and possible babysitting for those who didn't want to bring their kids. I would love to say that everyone just wanted to come for us, but I think making it convenient played a huge part in so many people coming.

first of all: YES, I know this is an old post, however, I am still hoping that I can get some info...

 

Bride2Be, I noticed that you live in California, and I believe that the cruise you went on was a Caribbean cruise.

 

The reason I mention that is because we too live in California and we are planning on getting married in 2015 on the oasis of the seas (which goes out of fort lauderdale). I noticed that you said that you had 40 people sail with you, and am wondering how you "convinced" (for lack of a better word) 40 people to fly across country and then take a cruise.

 

I will say, that I was thinking that it might just be my bride, son and I on our wedding day until I saw your posts....It gives me some hope that people may make the journey.

 

Hopefully you come back to CC, or someone with a similar situation will chime in...thanks in advance!!!

[Blue Line]

I know this wasn't directed to me but I thought I would chime in. We have 60 sailing guests coming from throughout Canada to Miami, and the biggest motivators in getting them there (I think), was firstly the fact that we did it at a time that a lot of our friends/family take vacation anyway, also, by giving people a lot of notice (13 months), it gave people time to plan financially and their vacation time and possible babysitting for those who didn't want to bring their kids. I would love to say that everyone just wanted to come for us, but I think making it convenient played a huge part in so many people coming.

 

Wow, that is why I love Cruise Critic!!! Thank you very much for replying!!!! That is great that you have so many people going! To be honest, we were having our doubts about many people showing up. We are hoping to give at least a year and a half notice (just waiting on RCCL to post July 2015 itinerary)

 

CCMS, if you have any tidbits or advice, I would appreciate whatever you have! Thanks!!

 

And thanks again for your input!!!!

 

I hope that anyone else feels free to chime in as well!

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk... Please excuse punctuation, spelling, nonsensical thoughts and brevity.

[2tempting]

I am getting married June 2015 aboard Celebration Cruise Line, porting from West Palm Beach, Florida and I am struggling with finding a save the date. I don't like any that I have seen online and I need help. I need a flyer template to mail with the save the dates or should I just send the flyer?

Any ideas or templates would be very helpful.

[mrstriceasnice]

I am getting married June 2015 aboard Celebration Cruise Line, porting from West Palm Beach, Florida and I am struggling with finding a save the date. I don't like any that I have seen online and I need help. I need a flyer template to mail with the save the dates or should I just send the flyer?

Any ideas or templates would be very helpful.

 

I made mine with card stock and a printed along with a stamp and bow on the front. Mine were invitations more than just save the dates I suppose. Our family got a inserted card with the ceremony invite since our ceremony will be family only.

[NL2134]

Darn, the wedding coordinator said 50 non-sailing is the absolute max. They can sometimes accomodate 1 or 2 last minute RSVPs but not always. Now back to my oringinal dilemma.... anyone ever heard of sending save-the-date cards with a pre-RSVP, just something asking people to let you know if they definitely CAN'T come so you can ivnite more?

 

I don't think it's necessarily totally etiquette approved, but I did send preliminary RSVP's with my STD's. I did boarding pass style STD's and included a RSVP postcard with options of yes, no, or I don't know yet. I made sure to explain the situation, that due to the wedding format, there are limited number of non-sailing guests allowed, so it is helpful for me to have an early idea of number of guests. I only received about 50% of them back, but I didn't push on it or call any non-response people afterward either. I figured with it not being the real RSVP, and being a year in advance, I didn't want to be rude and hound people about it. But, it did help narrow it down a lit. Really, by the time I sent out STD's, I already had an idea of who was planning to come. Either us or our parents had already talked to several extended family members about it directly, and they had already said they couldn't make it or they weren't sure yet. But, my port was also 1,000 miles away from most people, so they couldn't just decide last minute and I knew many of them didn't have time or money to make the trip. If it's only a few hours drive, it's not as big a deal for people to attend, therefore harder to get a read on who plans to go. We invited a total of 75 people, hoping for around 40, and knowing already (because they told us) that most couldn't attend. We ended up with 25 guests and only 12 of them sailed. But, like I said, the distance would have required significant travel & time off for all our guests.

 

STD's aren't an invite, but you should invite anyone you send them to. And you don't need to send them to everyone you plan to invite. I think you definitely need to try to cut back the list and definitely prioritize the list. I would advise against inviting more people than you can take, because it would be kind of rude to have someone RSVP yes, and then tell them they can't come because you are over limit. And some people won't know until closer to the date, because of work schedule or whatever. I would call your top VIP guests (parents, siblings, wedding party, etc) to determine if they plan to cruise or not. You should know what they plan. Then send STD's to top 50 on guest list. Give them a week or two, then call, text or e-mail them to get an idea of whether they plan to come or not. My sister did a private event page of Facebook as her STD and had it so people could respond on there if they were coming. If people say yes, you could call them to clarify if they plan to sail or just attend wedding. But, there are a lot of informal ways to contact people to get an idea of whether they plan to come.

[dancinman66]

Never even though of Dave the date till this thread

A great idea indeed

How do you cope with only 50 percent response

Do rest play ball later on ?

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

[NL2134]

Never even though of Dave the date till this thread

A great idea indeed

How do you cope with only 50 percent response

Do rest play ball later on ?

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

 

Luckily, most of the ones that didn't RSVP were people that we had already talked to in person and knew if they were attending. Or people that we knew really wouldn't be able to afford the trip, so we could safely assume they were not attending. And that was just the preliminary RSVP to give us some idea.

 

We received slightly better response with our final RSVP's, probably about 75% back. For the final RSVP's, we didn't even bother contacting people that didn't send them back if we knew they weren't coming. But, for people that we knew planned on coming, or those that were still unknown, we ended up contacting them to remind them to send their responses, mainly because our final RSVP also included the request for info required by cruise line (full name, birthdate, drivers license or passport number). That's made the RSVP much more critical than just a yes or no. There were a few people that we just ended up getting the info over the phone.

[hbicfrd]

Here is the STD that we sent out. I bought it off of Etsy, printed them at home and added the letters on the side and the card stock.