Do you let you 18-20 year olds drink?

[Homeschoolmom69]

We will be sailing on the Voyager next month with ds15, and ds19. We are leaning toward signing the release so ds19 can have beer, IF he agrees to a few rules. I was just wondering what the rest of you with kids in this age range do. Let them drink (moderately) or not at all??

[Jsme]

Funny Dh and I discussed this last night. Mine are not old enough to concern myself right now. Youngest is 11 and oldest is 13. But it is still something we discussed. I think I would be willing to if it was while with us. But once you sign that release aren't they able to drink beer and wine at anytime. Not sure if I would want the worry of it all.

[MrsPete]

My daughters aren't in that age bracket yet, but if they were, I would not give them permission.

 

Why? Because I expect them not to drink until they're of legal age in the US (don't say it's unrealistic -- I didn't and my brothers didn't -- I know it may not be common, but it's not unrealistic). We have a long history of alcoholism in our family, and I'm doing everything I can to give my daughters every chance not to "follow in the family footsteps". Lots of studies show that drinking young increases the chances of having problem-drinking behaviors later, and giving permission for one week is an awful lot like saying, "Do it anytime the circumstances allow", which could easily be contorted into a different message. Since early elementary school I've talked to them about moderation and making good choices in this area. I've set a good example of moderation for them. If I allowed them to drink "just for one week", it'd be contrary to what I've been teaching them.

 

For my family, this would be a bad choice.

[bjboothman]

I would not (background: mine are 19 and 23). I believe it would send the wrong message to my children. Yes, I know that in some cultures the drinking age is under 21, but in our culture the law states 21. Yes, I am aware that my kids have taken a drink underage and they know that I know that. That doesn't mean I have to give it my seal of approval.

[Stepford]

We just came home from our carribbean cruise this week, we cruised with my 21 daughter and her 20 yr old bf, as well as my 16 yr old son. The 20 yr olds mom gave him permission to drink which in my opinon was excessive but at 20 not much we could say or do in the matter. However, the 16 yr old who is shy and withdrawn mingles with other teens found there way to getting drunk by buying tequila in port and pouring it into their water bottles. I was quite disappointed. Be watchful. :mad:

[shoolover]

will be sailing in 3 weeks. At first, I signed the waver and have since changed my mind. I don't want DD able to get drinks (wine or beer) 24 hours a day! She has had wine at Christmas for dinner toasts and has sampled my malt beverages before, but to let her run around the ship drinking and not knowing when enough is enough.....rather not go there. At dinner, we may buy a drink for her, but not in favor of a first time drinker, on a ship, alone, drinking 24/7.:eek:

[surfklutz]

Not on a bet. Giving permission someone under age to drink is just nuts.

[Gradelady]

My children are now 24 & 26. When they reached 18 we did sign the waiver. They were instructed that if they drank to excess (coming in drunk or throwing up) that we would take away their cruise card.Then they would have to come to Mom & Pop if they wanted even a pop. Also, if they were hungover, there would be the same consequences. They actually did extremely well, and behaved in a very grown up manner and to this day do not 'over -indulge'. I think you have to know your child and do what feels right to you.

[OPSoccermom]

Stepford - we saw the same thing last year. Kids who were not even 18 had ready access to alcohol. Don't know if it was just my perception, but we went to Jamaica and Coz, which are both notorius for serving underage kids. I don't recall this being as much as problem in previous cruises that did other islands.

 

I think it is all up to the way you've raised your kids. If your child is over 18, they will have access to alcohol, regardless of whether you signed the waiver or not. They will most likely not be with you 24 hours a day. It will be up to them to make the choice that is right for them.

[dyanna72]

Mine are 14 & 17 & they know the rules are that you cannot legally drink until you are 21. That applies for when we are on vacation also. Once you bend the rules it's all over.

[mspink98]

I’m not a parent, but I was a 19 year old the first time I cruised with my parents. They signed the release for me to drink. I was in college, so they knew I was drinking there. They also knew that I was responsible enough to not get in trouble. I’m not a huge partier by nature, and never have been. They later decided not to allow my younger sister to drink on a subsequent cruise, because she is much more of a partier than I am. The most I ever had on that cruise was a couple a night-usually one before dinner in the Viking Crown lounge, and sometimes one after dinner while watching a show or something. I was also usually with my parents, which probably helped out some.

For me, it would depend on the kid. A laid back, responsible kid would likely get my permission. A party animal likely would not.

[wraithe]

We will be sailing on the Voyager next month with ds15, and ds19. We are leaning toward signing the release so ds19 can have beer, IF he agrees to a few rules. I was just wondering what the rest of you with kids in this age range do. Let them drink (moderately) or not at all??

 

I would with limits. Like one poster said, establish a boundary. This teaches the kids a lot more than "you have to be 21" like some have posted. I like the idea that if you establish a 2 beer a day limit or something like that, and monitor it, you're teaching them to drink in moderation, vice, like most kids, who aren't allowed anything until they go away to college, or the military, drink like fiends when Mom and Dad aren't there to monitor. Sorry about the run on sentence. It also teaches them that there are different rules in different places, and they have the responsibility to learn them, ignorance is no excuse for not knowing local laws. You could make it a hell of a teaching experience in my humble opinion, homeschloolmom69, and I look for those everywhere when I home school my kids. Personally, I think it's sad that in our society, we can admit a "child" to the military, put a gun in his hand and send him off to fight, or operate a nuclear power plant in a ship designed to sink, or be responsible for a defense system in a multi-million dollar airplane, or even more important, make a decision and cast a vote on who is going to run our nation or state, but isn't responsible to buy a beer and take it home to drink on their couch. I think that's a tragedy, myself. I'll hop down off my soap box now, and don my flame proof underwear, "you may fire when ready, Gridley".

Wraithe

 

PS should have said, I would let 18 to 21 yo drink with severe limits, but under 18, no way, just so no one thinks I'd let both kids drink.

[cruisin from florida]

After much discussion, including the fact that our son is exposed to EXCESSIVE drinking at college, we decided that the cruise was an opportunity to help to teach him to drink responsibly. First of all he is broke, so he wasn't going to be buying drinks at the ship's prices. In the end, he joined us for a glass of wine at dinner, and attended the wine tasting with us. We kept close tabs on his SeaPass account, and our shore activities were family activities where there was no drinking (maybe a Corona in Majuhual waiting for our tour)

Again, I KNOW that he is around irresponsible (what I call stupid) drinking in college. Kids drinking just to get drunk. So the cruise was his first experience in drinking like an adult.

 

On the other hand, I would NOT sign the form if he were on a cruise with others, and we were not there to supervise. Too many things can go seriously wrong on a cruise...

[hmg]

We believe in following local laws, so when we're on a ship we choose to let our 18-20 year olds drink--within reason. They are told that we will monitor their charges and their behavior and, if we feel they've overstepped, the privilege is withdrawn.

 

The first time we allowed our son to drink on a ship was the summer before he entered college. Please don't flame me for what I'm about to say... We knew, that doesn't mean we approved, that he'd drink in college. We discussed this with him (ad nauseam, if you ask him) telling him we couldn't condone his drinking but, if he was going to drink, he needed to do it in a responsible manner. To some extent we looked on his summer experience on the cruise with us as a test run. He was allowed to drink and we observed how he handled it.

 

He just turned 21 and, from what he tells us, we think his views on drinking are pretty healthy. He enjoys bars, he enjoys having a drink, he doesn't enjoy being drunk.

 

Our second son will be 18 on our upcoming cruise...here we go again!

[rbm444]

thank goodness I do not have to make that decision for a while. But when I read your dilemma I recalled a friend from college (a long time ago) who went a a cruise of the Greek isles with his dad. He was 18 so he and his dad consumed alcohol together, never in excess, and had a wonderful time. The problem occurred when they arrived back home a few days later.

After a particularly trying day my friend came home, opened a beer and kicked back like he had just been doing with his dad a few days earlier. When his parents got home and saw the beer bottle, they went ballistic. He was very confused and he thought the logic of "its not legal here" was a little lame. It is sort of smudging the rules (when you are on vacation) and depending on the child and their maturity, it may not be worth the potential complications.

Once again, not telling anyone how to raise their children, just pointing out a possible complication.

[Homeschoolmom69]

Thanks for all the replies. Just to clarify, my son is very mature, but he would not be given "free reign" to drink as much as he wants, whenever he wants. He would only be allowed to do it in our presence, and we would set the limits. As Gradelady and Wraithe stated, there would be boundaries, and the priviledge would be revoked if the rules were broken..

[Tiggerbuddy]

I did sign the waiver for my daughter who was 19 at the time. She is not a drinker or even really interested in drinking but wanted the freedom to act as an adult. Over the course of a nine-day cruise she consumed a total of two malt beverages, one of which was specifically used for a picture for her scrapbook.

I would not have given permission if I had any concerns the privilege would be abused. My daughter also understood this was a privilege that could be taken away if it was abused.

Each young adult is unique and you have to base your decision on your own feelings and knowledge of how your children respond to a given situation.

[hmg]

thank goodness I do not have to make that decision for a while. But when I read your dilemma I recalled a friend from college (a long time ago) who went a a cruise of the Greek isles with his dad. He was 18 so he and his dad consumed alcohol together, never in excess, and had a wonderful time. The problem occurred when they arrived back home a few days later.

After a particularly trying day my friend came home, opened a beer and kicked back like he had just been doing with his dad a few days earlier. When his parents got home and saw the beer bottle, they went ballistic. He was very confused and he thought the logic of "its not legal here" was a little lame. It is sort of smudging the rules (when you are on vacation) and depending on the child and their maturity, it may not be worth the potential complications.

Once again, not telling anyone how to raise their children, just pointing out a possible complication.

There's a catch phrase in our house that covers a whole lot--"house rules". It applies to not drinking, it applies to keeping their rooms clean(ish), it applies to letting us know where they'll be and when they'll be home... So far it's worked for us. :)

[brown_eyed_girl]

I am going to the Baltic on the Jewel in the summer with my family and I will be 18. Here, in England, the drinking age is 18, does the American age of 21 still apply even when the boat is sailing to and from England? Please don't shoot me down in flames either, and before anyone says anything i'm far from being an alcoholic! I do drink when I go out with my friends to a bar, but just prefer cocktails to wine and cannot stand beer. Does the waiver thing only include wine and beer?

[suzeyQ]

I cruised with my parents when I was 19 and I was allowed to drink. Being from Canada though, the drinking age (in most places) here is 19 anyway.

 

I think it really depends on your kids - some 18-20 year olds are responsible enough to be given free reign and others aren't. You just need to know your kids.

[Homeschoolmom69]

Brown Eyed Girl, yes, 18-20 are only allowed beer and wine. No hard liquor or mixed drinks.

[Weez]

I don't have to worry about that for a few more years but when the time comes if my son or daughter ask me to sign the waiver, I will. I think it's important to educate my kids about drinking and the dangers of it. I think it's equally important to be open minded and try and make them understand the dangers of not drinking responsibly. Any parent who has a child in that age group that attends college are kidding themselves if they think their kids are not drinking. I would much rather it be with me then a few hundred drunk and rowdy college kids.

 

For those of you who are stating its against the law. There is no legal drinking age in international waters. (It's left to the discretion of the operator) The local drinking laws are applicable in territorial waters.

[MGoBlue2]

Not on a bet. Giving permission someone under age to drink is just nuts.

On the ship and in most every non-US port you visit, someone 18 is not underage.

[MGoBlue2]

We will be sailing on the Voyager next month with ds15, and ds19. We are leaning toward signing the release so ds19 can have beer, IF he agrees to a few rules. I was just wondering what the rest of you with kids in this age range do. Let them drink (moderately) or not at all??

I signed when our daughter was 20. I made sure she knew she was going to have to pay for her own and that I would be able to see a list of what she bought, which greatly curtailed it.

[dlsiowa]

I am leaving on my first cruise ever in just 4 days and will be traveling with my 16 and 19 (birthday is today) year old daughters. I have signed the waiver for my oldest to drink, but the rules are.... I am not paying for it. You can drink if you want, but...the bar bill is all yours. Since she is a college student living on her own and not with much money, I don't suspect that I will have a problem with her consuming too much. We are also traveling with my sister and her daughter (who is 20), but just found out that she is pregnant so I don't think I will have anything to worry about. My daughter learned a big lesson a couple of years ago when she was told not to use her cell phone on a trip and of course didn't listen, that mistake cost her $400. So that mistake alone has taught her responsibility and that mom isn't quite so dumb as she thought!!!