Does anyone who has little ones at home feel guilty for not taking them with?

[CruiseAholic]

Why on earth would anyone feel 'obligated' to take someone else...

 

....children, you are 'obligated' to feed/give housing/feed until they are 18 PERIOD

 

It's your life...ENJOY IT

[whale-watcher]

Why on earth would anyone feel 'obligated' to take someone else...

 

....children, you are 'obligated' to feed/give housing/feed until they are 18 PERIOD

 

It's your life...ENJOY IT

The single greatest joy in life for DW and I is sharing the wonders of the world with our children. My kids are rapidly reaching the age when they may not want to travel with us anymore, so we are trying to pack as much in as possible right now. Cruising is the perfect family vacation, as there is so much for kids of all ages to do on board the ship that DW and I have LOTS of quiet time together. We always choose a cabin arrangement that allows for complete privacy (Family suite or side-by-side minisuites). When the kids were younger, we often traveled with my parents, and that provided a break for us and special bonding time for my kids and their grandparents.

 

BTW -- I fully intend to support my kids financially well beyond their 18th birthdays all through college and even graduate school, just as my own parents did for me.

[sbjanke]

If that makes any sense. My husband and I are going on our first cruise in October for our 10th anniversary and leaving our 5 and 8 year home with their grandmother. They will be in school and will be well taken care of, but part of me still feels guilty that we aren't taking them with us. However, I also realize that my husband and I need time by ourselves to reconnect and celebrate our anniversary and just plain have time without the kids. We have told the girls that next year is their turn and we have them looking at cruise books for then.

 

Sara

CB Western Caribbean October 7th - 14th.

[Casshew]

I take my little one....and leave my husband!

 

and I don't feel guilty in the least.

[AZPam]

I take my little one....and leave my husband!

 

and I don't feel guilty in the least.

Now there is an idea! :D Actually, our family is lucky enough to take a number of get aways each year. We typically do a family cruise vacation for spring break which includes my parents, my brothers and their families too. My Mom and I try to do a shopping trip to Chicago once a year. My husband and son are doing a few days in Oshkosh WI for some airplane thing in July so my daughter and I will head to the beach in San Diego. To each their own and whatever works best for your family. But I still say, don't feel guilty about not taking the kids, especially if they are under 10 years old! You need that time together.

[FamilyGuy1010]

I vote for "no way". Left kids at 9 & 7 with Grandma for the week while we went on the Carib Princess. They were fine.

[Oppgaard]

When I read this post, I thought it referred to our FURRY little ones. Since we have no children our dogs are our little ones.

 

Yes, we do feel a little guilty about leaving them so often (we cruise 4-5 times a year) but we always leave them at home with a sitter and never in a kennel.

[jennew]

Just booked a NO KIDS cruise....I feel absolutely GREAT about it!!

[Nliedel]

Just booked a NO KIDS cruise....I feel absolutely GREAT about it!!

 

At some point during the cruise you WILL feel guilt. Be prepared for it and it passes. I traveled for work a lot and I did go through periods of really missing the boys (they were home with my husband, who is the worlds best dad).

[jennew]

I know I will feel a twinge or two about the 7 year old (my little preemie!) but, he will just be starting school, taking him would make no sense...and DH and I need a week alone. ;)

[edYYZ]

As part of the "kids" group rather than parents, even though I can't remember much from our family vacations when I was really young, it's still fun to look back at pictures and laugh about random memories. Maybe I'm not the norm, but I actually really like traveling together as a family. It would be more fun to go with friends but it's also family time (away from everyday living at home) that I really appreciate. I don't know if that's because we've always traveled as a family, so my definition of a vacation includes everyone (i.e. it was weird cruising without my mom and sister last year).

 

One poster mentioned that you have more opportunities to all travel together when the kids are younger. Aside from the teenager/rebellion/social life reasons, it may also be difficult to take family vacations later because of how busy everyone gets. The older I get the more difficult it seems. Now that I'm starting medical school and my sister is starting her medical clerkship it's even worse - in fact after this summer, I don't think we'll have a week off at the same time for a long while.

 

Reading this thread was kinda funny because my parents are the opposite from many here. They never traveled without us and still refuse to even though we're adults now (well, maybe it's because they're empty nesters and we all spend lots of time apart normally). Oh well, I guess I should count myself lucky!! :)

[Genessa]

I love my kids (who are all adults now), but I never felt/feel guilty when we cruise without them. Or when we did week-ends without them. We did (and do) miss them, however.

 

We took them on at least one week long, kids oriented vacation a year, and one day or week-end kid oriented vacations every year (camping, the shore, Cooperstown, Great Adventures, whatever).

 

Our vacations alone, whether week-ends or weeks, without the children we both love very much, were times to get to spend alone with each other - as they say now - real quality time. It wasn't that we were saving money by not bringing them (although we were), it was that we were able to focus on us. We've been married 30+ wonderful years and I think our couples only vacations have helped us keep our marriage rock solid. We were a couple before we were a family and we're a couple still now that our kids are grown.

[ggcruiser]

I think time with extended family (like Grandparents), and alone time with your spouse is just as important as spending time with your kids. Go, have fun, enjoy yourself :)

 

- this, of course, depends on how young your kids are. We just did 15 days to Hawaii and couldn't imagine leaving my 2 y.o. behind for that long. Unfortunately, I don't have parents who could take him for a night, let alone 2 weeks!

[Nliedel]

I know I will feel a twinge or two about the 7 year old (my little preemie!) but, he will just be starting school, taking him would make no sense...and DH and I need a week alone. ;)

 

The preemies are harder to leave, no matter how old they are.

[K&M2CRUZ]

It is so good to hear eveybody's opinion and everybody has such a great point. Now that I have read this I don't feel as guilty and I am starting to get even more excited for our cruise in Aug. But for those of you that have taken a cruise with a family of 5 can you tell me about stateroooms that can hold that many or do you have to get connecting rooms? Looking forward to the cruise and counting the day's is one of the best thing's to get you through each day happily.(I also do daycare)That's why time to myself is soooooo nice.:eek:

[ourlol]

My 'little ones' are now 21, 19 and 14 respectively. With the exception of just [B]three [/B]nights (yes... just 3 nights) in the intervening years since my first child was born, my husband and I have not taken a holiday or break away without one or all of our children being in tow. If asked how this came to be the case, I would probably have said it was because we didn't have the luxury of leaving them with anyone else... along with a whole other host of reasons as to why it wasn't possible. If pushed I might even have held my hand up and admitted that one of the [I]excuses[/I] for my actions would have been my own guilt at leaving them behind.

It is only now (with the benefit of hindsight) that I have come to the conclusion that we could have done things differently. Don't get me wrong I love my kids dearly (and they us) but they have no concept of the sacrifices we have made or the loss of identity I feel now because I have always made myself available to them... 24/7 there on tap!! I suspect it would have been a much healthier environment if just occasionally my husband and I had put 'ourselves' first. I know they wouldn't have thought any less of us had we done so.

So for those of you who feel guilty. Don't be. Enjoy that special time together with your spouse... don't be an old wrinkly like me and look back with a 'teeny weeny' bit of regret.

Laura

[mike1117]

I have twins that will be 26 months in July when my wife & I take our second cruise by ourselves. Thankfully, I know my boys will be in great hands with their Grandma & Grandpa (wife's parents). My father-in-law is taking a week off to help out and is so excited to take his grandkids to different fun places. I will definitely miss them, but I will not feet guilty.

We took our first cruise when the boys were just 6 months old. It was a great break for us and the boys were just fine with Gramdma.

Starting next year, however, I plan to take them with us on vacation, although my wife & I may do one vacation with the kids and one alone each year.

But as someone else said, you're not a bad parent either way you choose to vacation.

[deeolasingh]

[quote name='jennew']Just booked a NO KIDS cruise....I feel absolutely GREAT about it!![/quote]


DITTO!!!! I just book an all adult cruise as well. DH and I try to book a mommy and daddy vac and a family vac... This is probably why I dont feel guilty.... Am planning a family cruise in the near future not sure when or where yet....

[trippymood]

I actually feel horrible. As this will be my first time away from son. I am going on a 10 day Alaskan cruise. But I have already decided that the next time I cruise he will be going with me. I don't know how I am going to handle not having him with me. A weekend is one thing but 10 days. I'm going to die.:D LOL He will be turning 8 while I am on my cruise also. How's that for cruel and unusual.:eek:

[LOSTnotFound]

[quote name='Nliedel']At some point during the cruise you WILL feel guilt. Be prepared for it and it passes. I traveled for work a lot and I did go through periods of really missing the boys (they were home with my husband, who is the worlds best dad).[/QUOTE]

Thanks for your insight, and to everyone else's. I am going on a 10 day cruise on the Crown in July and I am leaving my 20 month with his Grandmother. I do feel guilt and excitement at the same time. I know I will have a great time and I know my son will have a great time. It helps to hear others who have went through it. I will also take my son on a cruise in the future and can't wait for him to experience the greatness of it all. But for now I will look forward to my shore excursions and dinners and fruity cocktails and trivia contests without as much guilt. :)

[Casshew]

[quote name='trippymood']LOL He will be turning 8 while I am on my cruise also. How's that for cruel and unusual.:eek:[/quote]

LOL you better bring him back something nice.

[MaryPoppinz]

We left our son when he was 8 for 10 days that included Halloween. I felt awful when my mom told me how cute he looked doing some last-minute-before-leaving-for-school primping of his Harry Potter hair in the mirrored backplate of our front door handle. It wasn't guilt...just missed some of his fun.

I always have a meltdown about Day 4. I have a great time, but my day-to-day life is pretty happy, and I miss it.

[Genessa]

[quote name='trippymood']I actually feel horrible. As this will be my first time away from son. I am going on a 10 day Alaskan cruise. But I have already decided that the next time I cruise he will be going with me. I don't know how I am going to handle not having him with me. A weekend is one thing but 10 days. I'm going to die.:D LOL He will be turning 8 while I am on my cruise also. How's that for cruel and unusual.:eek:[/QUOTE]

Our oldest turned 5 while we were on our first cruise. I was planning on "pretending" it was his birthday the day we got back and have cake that night, by my m-i-l who was baby-sitting, had told him and the first words out of his mouth when he saw us on the pier were - "you missed my birthday".
He speedily recovered when he saw the great souvenirs we brought him!

[ozziecruisers]

I don't know if I should of found this thread. It will either be a good thing or a bad thing for me.

DH & I are travelling on the Grand Princess on 3rd July Greek Isles cruise and we are so looking forward to it but I am starting to feel the smallest part of the guilts emerging inside with only 29 days until we leave.

We have the most wonderful family 3 girls. Aged 4years & twins 2.5years (Yes, that is 3 children in 18 months) and we are leaving them behind in Australia for 4 weeks ( yes it is not a typing error 4 weeks ) with their wonderful grandparents who just love having the the girls around them & likewise for the girls.

I know 4 weeks is a longtime but you have to think of where Australia is geograhically and it has always been a dream of my DH to do a Med cruise. You just don't go to Europe for 10 days from Australia!

We have never been away from the girls before other than the odd night sleepover at a relatives which has only just started this year. You see for the past 5 years we have lived in Perth while our family & friends have lived on the other side of Australia some 4500 kms away. DH & I never had any help in bringing the girls up so we thought it was time that we had a second honeymoon after 8 years of marriage. We both love travelling have taken the girls on numerous holidays so they are not deprived children.
Like a previous poster said - Would they really remember this holiday at their age ? NO.
At the moment I do agree it is good for couples to go away on holidays together without children, but I will only be able to answer that one truthfully and honestly when I return from the Med.

I will let you all know how it goes when I get back.

[trippymood]

I want to say thanks to Genessa and MaryPoppinz. You both made me feel a little better. At least I know I will probably have a melt down also.:o Casshew, I plan on bringing him tons of cool things. He wants some ice from the icebergs and he wants a Del Sol T-shirt. (the ones that change color in the sunlight) The shirt I know I can do but the ice I've got to get a little creative for that. But I know I'll figure something out. Thanks again!!!