Ship Lingo by Cabin Stewart Steward Stewart

[L2J]

Aboard

On the ship. Opposite of ashore.

Abreast

Alongside another ship. (Also, something your wife better not see you touching).

Aft

Near, toward, or in the rear of a ship.

Amidships

In or toward the middle of the ship.

Ashore

On shore. Opposite of aboard.

At Anchor

The position of the ship after it has dropped anchor.

Astern

Behind a ship, or toward the rear of a ship.

Balcony

Also known as Veranda, it's a private seating area on the outside of the ship accessed from your cabin.

Beam

Width of a ship at the widest part.

Bearing

Direction or position of the ship with respect to its destination.

Berth

The particular parking space the ship docks at the pier. Also, your cabin beds.

Bingo

Casino in disguise.

Board

To come onto a ship.

Boat

What you'll be in if the ship sinks.

Bow

Front of the ship.

Bridge

Navigational, command, and control center of the ship, where the Captain works.

Brig

Place where unruly teenagers and their parents are held prior to their being thrown off the ship at the next port of call.

Bulkhead

Wall or partition separating cabins and compartments.

Butler

Person who services a suite. May have an assistant.

Cabin

Passenger room on a ship.

Captain

Master or commander of a ship.

Chair Hog

Scourge of the ship. Self-centered maggots whom should be made to walk the plank.

Chimney

Ship's smokestack. Note: some are fake and just for appearances.

CHOGS

Short for Chair HOGS.

Course

Path the ship will take to get to its destination. Also, when dining, one part of a meal.

Crow's Nest

High look-out point on the ship where crew can observe obstacles in the ship's path (ie. "Iceberg! Dead ahead!").

Dealer

Casino employee running card games in the ship's casino. Also, someone frequently encountered in Jamaican ports, dispensing "herbal" supplements.

Debark

Exiting the ship, usually at the end of your cruise.

Debarkation

Exiting the ship, usually at the end of your cruise.

Departure

The time at which your ship leaves a port.

Disembark

Exiting the ship, usually at the end of your cruise.

Deck

Floor of the ship, especially the open areas.

Deck Chair

The chairs available on deck for passengers to lounge in. Usually saved before you get there. (See "Chair Hogs" and "CHOGS" listed above).

Dock

Act of parking a ship at the pier.

Docs

(Short for documents) Your cruise and ticket information which always seems to arrive latter than you want it, but before you actually need it.

Draft

Depth of water a ship draws (how far down into the water the ship's hull reaches), especially when loaded. (Also, beer dispensed from a tap).

Draught

Depth of water a ship draws, especially when loaded.

Eastern Caribbean

Usually includes any of the following: Nassau, Freeport, Hispaniola, St. John, St. Thomas, St. Maarten, Dominican Republic, Tortola, Virgin Islands, and Puerto Rico.

Elevator

Mechanical device for conveying passengers from one deck to another. Generally located on any deck EXCEPT for the one you are on. It is suggested that one acquaint oneself with the stairs, which are said to help combat Ocean Air Shrinkage if employed on a regular basis. Also called a Lift.

Embark

To board a ship, especially at the start of your cruise.

Embarkation

To board a ship, especially at the start of your cruise.

Excursion

A side-trip, on land or sea, at your ports of call.

Fathom

A measure of water depth equal to six feet.

Fore

The forward mast or front of the ship. (Also: Be sure to duck quickly if you hear this on the recreational deck).

Forward

Toward the front of the ship.

Frou-Frou Drinks

Concoctions one normally does not drink, consisting of frothy colored liquids mixed with distilled spirits, normally served in a tall hurricane-like glass with garnishes such as cherries, umbrellas and other fancy stuff! Best consumed while on deck (in a chair confiscated from some CHOGS).

Funnel

Ship's smokestack.

Galley

Kitchen. Palatable and unpalatable edibles are prepared in mass quantities here.

Gangplank

Ramp running from the pier into the side of a ship by which passengers board.

Gangway

Opening in the side of a ship through which it is boarded or provisioned. (Also, what you hear when the buffet first opens).

Guarantee Cabin

A reserved cabin, usually priced at a slight discount, guaranteed by the cruise ship to be at or better than the category you actually paid for. You do not get to choose your specific cabin or location.

Gross Tonnage

The total enclosed revenue-earning space of a ship. 100 cubic feet equals one gross ton.

Hawseholes

The opening from which the ship's anchor chain extends, or a hole in the front of the ship through which a cable passes.

Heading

The direction in which the ship is traveling, usually in terms of a compass (N-S-E-W or 0-360 degrees).

Hold

Place where the uncooked palatable and unpalatable edibles are stored. (Also, what you should do with an "18" in BlackJack).

Hull

The ships outer shell. Excludes anything built above the main deck.

Inside Cabin

A cabin inside the ship with no view of the water.

Interior Cabin

A cabin inside the ship with no view of the water.

Keel

Primary structural member of the ship that extends longitudinally along the center of its bottom from the front to the back.

Kids Club

Programming provided for children, generally consisting of games, arts-and-crafts, and various supervised activities.

Knot

One nautical mile per hour. (One knot is about 15% faster than one mile per hour).

Larboard

The left side of the ship, also known as "port".

Leeward

The side of the ship opposite from the side from which the wind is blowing.

Length

The distance from the extreme front of the ship to the extreme rear of the ship.

List

The degree of tilt of the ship to one side or the other. (Also, what your Darling Wife has for you when you get home).

Maître d'

Person who shows diners to their tables and supervises the waiters in a dining room. Seldom seen Dining Room official, usually resurfacing on next to last night of cruise, whose apparent duties are soliciting tips and removing lobster tail meat from its shell.

Midnight Buffet

Last fill-up before bedtime.

Midships

In or toward the middle of the ship.

Muster

Where the latest in cruise fashions and sudden disembarkations are discussed.

Nautical Mile

6,080.2 feet. Slightly more than 1.15 land miles.

Occupancy

The number of paying passengers a ship can carry. Does not include 3rd and 4th passengers occupying fold-away beds in an otherwise 2-person cabin. If these are totally occupied, a ship can claim to be over 100% capacity.

Ocean Air Shrinkage (OAS)

Atmospheric condition at sea which causes all your clothing to lose one or two sizes between the start and end of the cruise. The longer the cruise, the more OAS will occur. Consider bringing elastic-waisted clothing to counteract OAS.

Ocean View Cabin

At the very least, you have a porthole with a partial view of the water. At best, you have large windows and/or a veranda.

Outside Cabin

Usually a cabin with a porthole, window, or veranda.

Patter

Daily program of the ship's news and events. (Also, what you may hear 9 months after a romantic cruise. ie. "patter of little feet").

Penthouse Suite

The largest passenger cabin. Sometimes referred to as an Owner's Suite.

Pilot

Local from shore who is responsible for bringing the ship into and out of your Port of Call.

Pitch

The rise and fall of the front of the ship while at sea. (Also, what you get at Art Auctions and Port Shopping Talks).

Port

The left side the ship. Easy to remember because PORT and LEFT each have 4 letters. Also: short for "port of call".

Porterage

Porters or workers who take your luggage from the pier to your cabin.

Porthole

A small window.

Port of Call

A destination that your ship stops at on your voyage.

POSH

Port Outbound, Starboard Home. When traveling to America from the England (or between England and India) the wealthy would want the Port side going, and the Starboard side coming back to ensure sun in the cabin for warmth (or the cooler side with the better view, as the case may be). Note that despite exhaustive research, the TRUE origin of POSH is unknown.

Private Balcony

A balcony that is attached to your cabin. Does not mean it is covered or secured from the gaze of others.

Promenade

A ship's "shopping mall".

Prow

The front of the ship.

Purser

Official on a ship responsible for papers and accounts and also for the welfare of passengers. (Also, the poor sap left holding his wife's handbag outside a dressing room in a clothing store or at any shop requiring the wife's undivided, two-handed, attention.)

Registry

Country in which the ship is registered.

Roll

The side-to-side sway of a ship while at sea.

Scuttle

What happens to a ship when irons and candles are brought onboard and the ship catches on fire.

Seating

Which dinner service you have --- Early (which is the Main seating) or Late.

Ship

What you are cruising on or in.

Shipboard Charge Account

A ridiculously large numeric figure, expressed in dollars and cents, that will be delivered to you at the end of the trip as a souvenir detailing, item by item, day by day, exactly how much fun you had on your cruise.

Shipboard Credit (SBC)

Monies credited to your onboard charge account, generally as an incentive for booking a cruise or as compensation for a missed port or unsatisfactory situation. Also known as Onboard Credit (OBC).

Southern Caribbean

Usually includes any of the following: Aruba, St. Lucia, Antigua, Grenada, Curacao, and Barbados. Can also include some Eastern Caribbean ports.

Stabilizer

Hydraulic activated underwater fins to minimize ship's roll.

Stack

Ship's smokestack. (It's not how many ships they can get into the same port of call at one time).

Stampede

Resulting action which occurs when the doors to the dining room or showroom open.

Starboard

The right-hand side of the ship. STARBOARD and RIGHT HAND have the nine letters.

Stateroom

Fancy name for a cabin.

Steerage

Cabins below the water line.

Stem

The absolute front point of the ship.

Stern

The absolute rear point of the ship.

Steward

Person who services a cabin. May have an assistant. Has a way of mysteriously keeping your room cleaned without ever being seen.

Stewart

Somehow this always ends up being the name of the guy who cleans your cabin.

Suite

A larger cabin, usually available at a disproportionately higher fare.

Superstructure

The parts of the ship that are above the main deck.

Tender

The smaller ship, boat, or lifeboat used to transfer passengers from the ship to the shore and back again when the ship is anchored offshore.

Tender Tickets

A priority system used to determine when passengers may exit a ship via a tender.

Travel Insurance

Insurance that pays for a variety of conditions which interrupt your voyage..

Trough

Buffet.

Upper Berth

A recessed bunk bed that fits into the wall and can be lowered for use.

Veranda

A private or semi-private balcony for the exclusive use by passengers occupying a cabin.

Waiter

Person who services a table. Will have an assistant.

Wake

Track or waves left behind a ship as it moves through the water. (Also, what you possibly won't do in a timely manner if you have an inside cabin and you forget to bring an alarm clock.)

Waterline

Point on the outside of a ship to which the water rises. Also: a line marked on the outside of a ship that corresponds with the water's surface when the ship is afloat under specified conditions.

Weigh Anchor

To raise the anchor.

Western Caribbean

Usually includes any of the following: Nassau, Grand Cayman, Jamaica, and continental Latin American countries of Mexico, Honduras, Belize, Costa Rica, Panama.

Windward

The side of the ship that the wind is blowing into

[jckvpa0]

Wow, I think you covered just about everything!

[selucrey]

I sure wish you people would get it right.

It's " Iceburg right ahead!" not dead ahead.:rolleyes:

;) :p

[mrdood]

I thought Posh was one of the Spice Girls:confused:

[futaba951]

I sure wish you people would get it right.

It's " Iceburg right ahead!" not dead ahead.:rolleyes:

 

;) :p

 

If you hear this while sailing the Caribbean you know that surely the end of the world is at hand. :)

[selucrey]

If you hear this while sailing the Caribbean you know that surely the end of the world is at hand. :)

That or we are about to have a close encounter with Paradise Beach !

http://paradise-beach-cozumel.net/iceberg_pbeach.html

[seamama1]

OMG!!!!

 

LMAO,LMAO! That is absolutely the funniest thing I have read about travel in years!

 

Thanks for the laugh!

[hstrybuf]

Good one Liv! :D BTW, creative license was excellent!

[perkyblue]

And I thought I was bored! You have way too much time on your hands! (I did enjoy the list though!)

 

"Ocean Air Shrinkage (OAS)

Atmospheric condition at sea which causes all your clothing to lose one or two sizes between the start and end of the cruise. The longer the cruise, the more OAS will occur."

 

So that explains it!

[JackieL]

That was hilarious!!!!!! Thanks for the laughs.:D

 

All I know is, if we encounter an iceberg/iceburg between NY and the Caribbean, it's time to believe Al Gore about global climate change!:eek:

[Catnip]

Excellent list!!!!!!! :D

[L2J]

And I thought I was bored! You have way too much time on your hands! (I did enjoy the list though!)

 

"Ocean Air Shrinkage (OAS)

Atmospheric condition at sea which causes all your clothing to lose one or two sizes between the start and end of the cruise. The longer the cruise, the more OAS will occur."

 

So that explains it!

 

Actually I cannot take credit for the list...I just felt it would be an appropriate thread based on the boat thread today.

 

Scuttle

What happens to a ship when irons and candles are brought onboard and the ship catches on fire.

[wercruzin]

Kudo's to ya liv...

 

this was too good.. It should get a sticky at the top.. what every cruiser should know..