drfun48 Posted October 14, 2006 #1 Share Posted October 14, 2006 I'm not the kind that likes to complain but... I recently returned from Bermuda on the Zenith and it was a nightmare. Embarkation-Couldn't possibly be worse.After checking in, we were forced to sit for five minutes on such incredibly hard plastic chairs to wait for the bus to transport us to the ship, that my hemmeroids will probably never recover. Then the bus had a squeeky spring that just drove me nuts every time we hit a bump. Then to top it off,the free welcome Mimosa I was served was made with pulp free orange juice. Don't they understand that we seniors need our ruffage? Dining--Thinks got off on the wrong foot when the wine steward insisted that I be charged a "corkage" fee for the bottle of New Zealand wine I brought with me.I tried to explain that it was "Kim Crawford" and had no cork but a screw cap, and therefore I should not be charged a corkage fee. I also detected a"look" from my waiter when I asked him to wrap my fourth shrimp cocktail appetizer.I just wanted to save room for my double entree and triple desserts. Other than that most of the food was OK except for the cones on the soft serve frozen yogert---I prefer the sugered waffle kind and they ran out midway through the week. The Cabin---Unfortunately I was placed on the port side which got very little morning sun.I need that to get me out of bed and to make me all warm and fuzzy for the day.I asked guest services,very politely, if they could move me to starboard,but they said the ship was full.I then asked if the Captain could turn the ship around and sail backward so I could have sun in the a.m.They looked at me as if I were crazy and simply said "no" without explanation. Entertainment --Fair to poor.I heard that the famed Japanese Kareoke Dance group was performing in the lounge, but all I saw was some drunk old guy with a New York accent singing My Way, and some screetchy teenage girl blasting out I Will Survive. Bermuda was fine except many of the locals there have accents and are hard to understand.This is not too far from America right.Why can't they learn to speak better English? I also had a problem with one of my excursions. Celebrity advertised a "glass bottom boat " ride . It didn't take me long after departure to realize that this was a lie. The bottom of the boat was not glass,just one stinking small section. I think my excursion should be prorated to reflect the percentage of the bottom of the boat that was glass. I am calling Celebrity corporate headquarters on Monday to get my refund. I'll not be made a fool of. So based on my nightmare ,it may be a while before I'm on a Celebrity cruise again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ozland Posted October 14, 2006 #2 Share Posted October 14, 2006 I hope I have a lousy time like you on my Celebrity cruise next year . . . ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
halos Posted October 14, 2006 #3 Share Posted October 14, 2006 It took me 3 full sentences before I realized you were kidding. (I know, I'm a little slow ;) ). That was an excellently funny post!! Thanks for making me smile!! :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karynanne Posted October 14, 2006 #4 Share Posted October 14, 2006 Oh, the misery of it all....I too have to endure that type of suffering next week on Infinity. 14 days of nothing but mundane relaxation, and Hawaii thrown in the mix will be unbearable...but I plan to muddle through it. Karyn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FAB1 Posted October 14, 2006 #5 Share Posted October 14, 2006 When I read the title of your thread my heart sank as I am on Zenith in just over 2 weeks. I too took about 3 or 4 lines till I realised you were kidding. It really made me laugh. I hope it silences all the whingers who come on here to complain about the slightest thing but I doubt it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amyr Posted October 14, 2006 #6 Share Posted October 14, 2006 Oh no, DrFun, it wasn't that horrid, warm OJ from the buffet in your Mimosa, was it? Unacceptable. Oh, and Bermuda? Please. They treat their tourists worse than in Red China. Really. I read all about it in another thread. I can't believe they couldn't find anyone that was trying to sleep off a hangover on the Starboard side and couldn't bear the morning sun. The Hotel Manager should have been more than happy to facilitate that for you. Service sure is slipping. What is "Kim Crawford" :confused: Is it a delicious vintage I should know about? Is it like 2 Buck Chuck? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nancyquilts Posted October 14, 2006 #7 Share Posted October 14, 2006 LOL. It's too bad how we cruisers have to suffer when everyone else is working. Nancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Posted October 14, 2006 #8 Share Posted October 14, 2006 Hi Dr Fun ! Sorry to hear your Cruise was such a nightmare :). I am glad you have an excellent sense of humor. Welcome home ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drfun48 Posted October 14, 2006 Author #9 Share Posted October 14, 2006 Oh no, DrFun, it wasn't that horrid, warm OJ from the buffet in your Mimosa, was it? Unacceptable. Oh, and Bermuda? Please. They treat their tourists worse than in Red China. Really. I read all about it in another thread. I can't believe they couldn't find anyone that was trying to sleep off a hangover on the Starboard side and couldn't bear the morning sun. The Hotel Manager should have been more than happy to facilitate that for you. Service sure is slipping. What is "Kim Crawford" :confused: Is it a delicious vintage I should know about? Is it like 2 Buck Chuck? Actually quite good Sauvignon Blanc at a fair price from the Marlborough region of NZ.If you like it and can find it try Cloudy Bay -a bit more expensive from the same region. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4 cruisers Posted October 14, 2006 #10 Share Posted October 14, 2006 Or there's always "ScrewCappa!" a now well known wine here in California! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SheilaNC Posted October 14, 2006 #11 Share Posted October 14, 2006 I think I'll cancel our cruise on Zenith to Bermuda in May based on your equisitely detailed report. Thanks so much for helping me in my decision-making :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SheilaNC Posted October 14, 2006 #12 Share Posted October 14, 2006 I think I'll cancel our cruise on Zenith to Bermuda in May based on your exquisitely detailed report. Thanks so much for helping me in my decision-making :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SheilaNC Posted October 14, 2006 #13 Share Posted October 14, 2006 Sorry for the duplicate post but thanks for the laugh of the day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaribbeanBound Posted October 14, 2006 #14 Share Posted October 14, 2006 drfun48... I was on that same cruise! I don't know if this is indicative of the new X-perience or not, but here is what I had to put up with... Upon arrival in my cabin, I had only started to upack when some guy who said he was our "cabin steward" popped his head to to say "hello". HOW RUDE! He asked us if we needed anything, and we said we could use about a dozen hangers, but to take his time as we had a lot of unpacking to do. Damn if he didn't return in less than 10 minutes with not 12, but 14 hangers. What the hell were we suppose to do with the extra two hangers? Each night we would have a good sleep, getting the bed just like we like it, and when we came back from breakfast each morning we would find the beds all made up and nothing was on the floor where we left it. NEVER saw the guy, yet when it came to the debarkation briefing we were told we were expected to tip him. So we put $200 in an envelope with his name on it and left it in the cabin on the final night. When we returned from dinner, someone had stolen the envelope, but what do you know --- our cabin steward came by to say "thanks". We didn't say anything, but we think he took it. Don't get me started! We were in the dining room one night having dinner, and my daughter was sort of picking at her pasta dish. Barely audibly, she whispered that she didn't much care for sauce on the pasta. WHOOSH! The matre'd appeared out of nowhere and insisted she give up her pasta in return for another entre. She was so embarrassed! Ok, the new dish was outstanding, but what's with the matre'd listening in on our converstaions? Do they have tiny microphones under the table or what? Don't get me started! On the third night of the cruise, we decided to go to the show, but took our time getting there since my wife wanted to go for a walk on the deck, so we didn't go to the show when it started. After our deck walk we wandered past the theater and the music sounded familiar so we went in to take a look. The place was packed. Everyone was enjoying the show. There we no seats left, anywhere! We had to friggin' stand in the back for the rest of the show. Sure it was good, but Celebrity should have more seats in the theater. Don't get me started... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmp13 Posted October 14, 2006 #15 Share Posted October 14, 2006 Oh my god the only thing that could have made the experience worse would be that you had to fill in luggage tags at the pier. Thank god you did not have to suffer that torture. Looking forward to our inprisonment in 2weeks. thanks for the great laugh!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oliviaonthe beach Posted October 14, 2006 #16 Share Posted October 14, 2006 for a minute or two. Oh to be having such a horribel time right now! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oliviaonthe beach Posted October 14, 2006 #17 Share Posted October 14, 2006 I'm a teacher and can't spell horrible! How horrible of me! Sorry, I had to correct it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spearmint Posted October 14, 2006 #18 Share Posted October 14, 2006 So, now you've got me started... On our Baltic cruise at the end of August, the hot tubs were not working and so they actually heated the on-deck pools!!!! Obviously when not in the Caribbean, the company fails to keep up the standards they have led us to expect i.e. nice, chilly pool water... the ignonomy of it all!:) And the dining room waiter. Well, when I wanted my usual chocolate dessert rather than one that he recommended, he insisted on bringing me his recommendation as well as my chocolate one. Really rude, I'd say. And, well, yes, it was absolutely delicious, and so...not to be rude like he was... I made myself eat every bite of it....pushy-y-y-y! Oh my, my. :D And drfun48: In your fifth line, I misread "my" for "me" and got a completely different version of the squeaky spring! :eek: Added and extra laugh to an already comical account. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cruisechik Posted October 14, 2006 #19 Share Posted October 14, 2006 So, now you've got me started... And drfun48: In your fifth line, I misread "my" for "me" and got a completely different version of the squeaky spring! :eek: Added and extra laugh to an already comical account. :D Um, thanks, now I have to clean red wine off my keyboard :) ROTFLMAO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
usha Posted October 15, 2006 #20 Share Posted October 15, 2006 :D This is such a great thread!!! I can't wait for my torturous cruise experience next February on Galaxy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jakenashleysmom Posted October 15, 2006 #21 Share Posted October 15, 2006 Anyone know how to get red wine out of the keyboard, please fill us in...seems to be an epidemic. Dr. Fun, you made my night! Oh the humanity! MMP13, icing on the cake, priceless. Now you two, you're some fun people who know how to go on a cruise! Cheers!:p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nancynurse Posted October 15, 2006 #22 Share Posted October 15, 2006 Thanks so much for this thread. I almost looked right beyond this thread until I saw who had written it. I got so tickled my boys had to check up on me! I only hope I have to deal with the same tortures next year! Nancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drfun48 Posted October 15, 2006 Author #23 Share Posted October 15, 2006 Anyone know how to get red wine out of the keyboard, please fill us in...seems to be an epidemic. Cheers!:p I usually use one of those tiny straws that you mix your drinks with when you've spilt all your wine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lightsluvr Posted October 15, 2006 #24 Share Posted October 15, 2006 Now the OP must remove the hooks from all those with no sense of humor... :D LL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jakenashleysmom Posted October 15, 2006 #25 Share Posted October 15, 2006 I usually use one of those tiny straws that you mix your drinks with when you've spilt all your wine. I didn't actually spill it, I think it may have come from my nose? Will the tiny straw trick still work? Hey, that spongey thing under the keys holds like a half a glass of wine, who'd have guessed? Maybe I'll just keep filling it up and sipping it from there, hmmm............................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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