did you wean a child before cruising?

[OnTheBrink]

John will be 3 and a half when we go on our next cruise. That's 3 months younger than Emma was when I weaned her. (They nursed together for 4 months, but I honestly hated it!)

 

I kind of have it in my head that I'd like John to wean before we go. As it is we really only nurse at home and at homes of people close to us. We could limit it and only nurse in the cabin. But at the same time, it might just be a chance to wean. I could talk about it as we prepare and explain that once we leave on the big boat, no more nursings.

 

Or - do you think it would backfire? Do you think it's better to have that there as a comfort for him? It certainly helps to quiet him down when needed! And, nothing is better for a sick kid than some mommy milk!

 

So - what did/would you do?

 

Thanks for your advice!

[sas80]

I would say be careful of weaning on board because it could cause trauma for the little one. Weaning and being in a new space might be too overwhelming.

 

I think you will find that Breastfeeding wont take too much time out of your day....it didn't take too much time out of our day when we sailed - but DS is on a schedule so we always knew when he expected to eat. I wouldn't wean just because we were going on a cruise.

 

In a way I am lucky...mine doesn't care if the milk comes from a boob or a bottle! But that is what daycare, and expressing, will get you!

 

Good luck in whatever you decide!

[OnTheBrink]

Thank you for replying!

 

I don't think I explained it well. I'm not planning to wean BECAUSE of the cruise. I was just thinking that IF we are weaning around that time anyway, that might be a good goal on the calendar, and something that really marks an end point for him.

 

Then again, it might totally backfire and mean that he is a miserable grouch!

 

He never really took a bottle (I've been home since before my 1st was born), but since he'll be 3.5, I don't think he'll NEED my milk as much as he WANTS it, you know? Which, of course, is totally fine.

 

I'm thinking that maybe it's best to wean after the cruise. Nursing is my surefire way to get this crazy preschooler down for a nap, or at least some quiet time. I'm thinking I'll want that once in a while!

 

But, still would love to hear from others!

[sas80]

Thank you for replying!

 

I don't think I explained it well. I'm not planning to wean BECAUSE of the cruise. I was just thinking that IF we are weaning around that time anyway, that might be a good goal on the calendar, and something that really marks an end point for him.

 

Then again, it might totally backfire and mean that he is a miserable grouch!

 

He never really took a bottle (I've been home since before my 1st was born), but since he'll be 3.5, I don't think he'll NEED my milk as much as he WANTS it, you know? Which, of course, is totally fine.

 

I'm thinking that maybe it's best to wean after the cruise. Nursing is my surefire way to get this crazy preschooler down for a nap, or at least some quiet time. I'm thinking I'll want that once in a while!

 

But, still would love to hear from others!

 

Well, it would make the trip far easier on the family if he wasn't nursing, anyways! Besides that, I think you have definitely gone above and beyond and fulfilled your mommy duties beyond compare, nursing your baby for THREE AND A HALF years!!!

 

I could not imagine doing that, but again, my little one could care less if it was boob, bottle or milk, he just wants food at this point! I, myself, am relegated to a breast pump 5 times a day because my sweet little boy is too impatient at this point to wait for me to let down. Again, a result of daycare and the bottle!

 

As my girlfriend so succinctly put it - it really doesnt matter when you decide to stop, you will feel both happy and sad at the same time....

 

I digress!

 

In any case, making that a target date is probably a good idea as it will give you something to shoot for and something to schedule the weaning against.

 

Consider making sure that your baby has been "off the boob" for at least a week or two before you leave so you will be able to tell if there are any anxiety related issues going on because of the weaning.

 

Other than that, if you are ready, I say go for it!

[mollyeilis]

I wish there were some hugging emoticons, b/c I'd give you a bunch of 'em right now. :)

 

My guy is 3 and one month, and I'm not sure he'd take too kindly to weaning right now. :) Then again, I could see it happening ON our January cruise (that neither DH nor DS know about, LOL, b/c it's a semi-surprise for DH so I can't talk about it to DS) b/c he'll likely be so busy and happy and excited....sometimes we have almost full days where he forgets until bedtime.

 

But I'm not certain I could figure out how to do it beforehand...

 

Then again, I can't even consider it b/c I'd have the ghost of my mother, and the still-living friends of hers who met her at La Leche League, after me...mom tried to wean me at 2, then my brother was born and I talked her into it (two children, two "sip sips") again, then she had to wean me again at 4 when my brother weaned on his own. You can see there's a heavy "you have to at least do what was done for you" on me. :)

 

 

OK my naptime sleepy guy is bugging me for you know what now...:p

 

(ps...nak and lefthanded now...since nursing nonstop has gotten us through 2 bouts of nasty rotavirus, i think i'd rather have him nursing still, just in case of noro...better for him and easier to find on a ship than pedialyte, ya know? :p )

 

 

 

adding...i think you'd need to do it further in advance, if you decided to, so you can figure out the ways to calm him,etc, without the super-easy beast-soother. teehee And i wonder if there would be comfort issues for you...despite my guy's age, the long days end with relief for both of us, b/c i do fill up a bit. our first cruise i was newly pg and changed 1.5 bra sizes in a week...it wouldn't be fun to have those sorts of issues on a ship!

 

yeah, i wouldn't do it, personally. way too easy to hold my guy off until we are at "home", and too worrisome for me to think about engorgement, behaviour changes, and what to do in case of virus...

[OnTheBrink]

Well, it would make the trip far easier on the family if he wasn't nursing, anyways!

 

What do you mean? How would it be easier?

 

Besides that, I think you have definitely gone above and beyond and fulfilled your mommy duties beyond compare, nursing your baby for THREE AND A HALF years!!!

 

Aw - thanks! But it's really nothing all that great! It's just what works for our little family.

 

I, myself, am relegated to a breast pump 5 times a day

 

Now THAT is devotion!

 

As my girlfriend so succinctly put it - it really doesnt matter when you decide to stop, you will feel both happy and sad at the same time....

 

So true! It's been more than 2 years since my daughter weaned and I still feel sad about it sometimes.

 

Consider making sure that your baby has been "off the boob" for at least a week or two before you leave so you will be able to tell if there are any anxiety related issues going on because of the weaning.

 

Yes, very good point

 

I wish there were some hugging emoticons, b/c I'd give you a bunch of 'em right now. :)

 

Aw - thanks!

 

My guy is 3 and one month, and I'm not sure he'd take too kindly to weaning right now. :) Then again, I could see it happening ON our January cruise (that neither DH nor DS know about, LOL, b/c it's a semi-surprise for DH so I can't talk about it to DS) b/c he'll likely be so busy and happy and excited....sometimes we have almost full days where he forgets until bedtime.

 

That's true - maybe it will be a cruise "excursion" for us!

 

Then again, I can't even consider it b/c I'd have the ghost of my mother, and the still-living friends of hers who met her at La Leche League, after me...mom tried to wean me at 2, then my brother was born and I talked her into it (two children, two "sip sips") again, then she had to wean me again at 4 when my brother weaned on his own. You can see there's a heavy "you have to at least do what was done for you" on me. :)

 

Oh, I hear ya! My mom only nursed me for 10 months (thought she had to wean when she got pg for my sister). She still feels guilty about it. Then, she had my sister, nursed her for 3.5 years, became a LLL Leader, and nursed my brother for nearly 3 years.

 

I am a LLL Leader now (5 years this month) and am heading to the LLL Int'l Conference in 2 weeks! So exciting!

 

(ps...nak and lefthanded now...since nursing nonstop has gotten us through 2 bouts of nasty rotavirus, i think i'd rather have him nursing still, just in case of noro...better for him and easier to find on a ship than pedialyte, ya know? :p )

 

It's magical stuff, isn't it?

 

adding...i think you'd need to do it further in advance, if you decided to, so you can figure out the ways to calm him,etc, without the super-easy beast-soother. teehee And i wonder if there would be comfort issues for you...despite my guy's age, the long days end with relief for both of us, b/c i do fill up a bit. our first cruise i was newly pg and changed 1.5 bra sizes in a week...it wouldn't be fun to have those sorts of issues on a ship!

 

I know! What was I thinking? My husband and I just spent 36 hours away from our kids (1st time away from John) and I ended up with a plugged duct the first morning. It was MISERABLE! I don't want to deal with that on a 10 day trip!

 

yeah, i wouldn't do it, personally. way too easy to hold my guy off until we are at "home", and too worrisome for me to think about engorgement, behaviour changes, and what to do in case of virus...

 

I really think you are right. Plus, all of a sudden he's becoming super sweet and polite about nursing, so I'm thinking weaning isn't so important right now anyway!

 

My daughter was 3 years 9 months when she weaned. Those were marvelous years for us! And I truly think that it had a huge impact on who she is!

[sgttami]

My daughter was 3 years 9 months when she weaned. Those were marvelous years for us! And I truly think that it had a huge impact on who she is!

 

 

Who is she?? What was the impact?

 

I think it's weird. Weirder yet was a friend who breast fed her son until he went to kindergarten..

 

Please explain...

[rebeccalouise]

Wow- don't mean to sound insenitive but why is your child still nursing at 3 years old?

 

I nursed my son and he just quit on his own at 10 months.

 

A child should be self sufficient by one year. Most kids start to drink from a cup at about 10 months to one year..

 

I am a bit shocked that a baby/ toddler would continue to nurse.

 

Wean the child now. Not because of a cruise- just because a three year old should be way past this.

[mkiwi20]

Hmmm, I'm not sure it's a good idea to use the cruise as a goal for when to wean by.. Or at least don't tell this to your son. When you get closer to your cruise date, maybe he'll decide he doesn't go away if he thinks it means you have to stop BFing for that reason. If you decide to wean do it about a month or so before your curise, and don't mention the cruise at all. If you want it as your personal goal, that's great though, just don't let him in on the plan. ;)

 

And congrats for BFing so long! We also plan on extended BFing (son's only 10months right now), but it's great to here about someone who has been so successful BFing so long. WTG Mama!

[Luxuriate]

Enjoying the beginning of a breast-feeding debate. My son never did really take up the breast. I went to several breast-feeding consultations. I was told I had breasts that weren't producing enough milk. I was making myself sick with pumping and worrying. Finally, a lactation consultant told me to give it up and get on with my life. My little one was totally on the bottle at about three months. He has been on a sippy-cup or regular cup since he was about 18 months old. He's 2 1/2 now.

 

Cheryl

[lexxity]

I am still bf my son, he is 21months now. I never really was sure about bf before he was born, but it really was the most natural thing to do (for me). It took a LOT of hard and painful work and we got there in the end, he never would take a bottle though so I didn't go out for 6 months. I thought he was weaning himself this week, 4 days with no feeds then yesterday morning he changed his mind. Do you know what, it's ok and I'm happy to go with it for a while longer yet. He only has a feed first thing and last thing in the day. He's otherwise a very content, self sufficent little chap. Happy to go off and play on his own or with others.

 

He can drink from a proper cup and supervised from a glass, he has his bottle of "juice" (water, but I call it juice) he totes with him. I am such a rarity here that when he had suspected salmonella the doctor was astounded he was still bf, she reckoned that still bf had got him through it without being sericously ill.

 

(what is rotovirus please? It probably has another name here.)

 

So my point is this, wean when you want to, if the cruise is a good end point for you then do it. I would like to have DS weaned before January, but we'll see.)

[sas80]

I(what is rotovirus please? It probably has another name here.)

 

Rotovirus is (I believe) an intestinal virus that causes diaharea (sp) and, subsequently, can cause dehydration.

 

My child got vaccinated for it....a few times....

[sas80]

Like child rearing, breastfeeding is personal situation, decision and choice. For some people it is easy, for some people its really hard, still otherse are disgusted by the thought of a baby suckling at their breast.

 

Whatever a mother chooses to do, she should not be attacked or judged for it.

[OnTheBrink]

I'm used to the cyber-gasps and criticisms about our family choices. It doesn't bother me personally. I know we are doing what works for our family, and that's what matters. What does bother me is when other people presume to know more about what my children and family need than I do. We are happy, healthy, well educated, professional people who do our best to give back to the world in a positive way. I'm quite sure that my nursing children are not taking away from that.

 

And to the rest of you - thanks for your awesome support! I appreciate you being so kind and accepting and for taking the time to think through this with me.

[Nliedel]

If I were to do it, and you need to note that I pumped for my preemies, because they were spoiled in the NICU by the tube feedings and would not take to the breast (yes, I tried and tried and pumped FOREVER, almost a year each), I would not do it before.

 

Several reasons:

 

1. You don't have to worry about water and the change in water in the formula upsetting their tummies.

 

2. No heating or sterilizing.

 

3. Completely portable.

 

4. Breast milk can be left out longer than cow's milk.

 

 

Most three year olds only nurse every now and then, a quick nip here, or there. It's not something you'll be obvious about and may give your child comfort.

 

Please note, American's are MUCH quicker to wean than almost any other country. World wide the age of weaning is well into toddlerhood.

 

I didn't nurse my older ones, but it's a very personal choice and the norm many other places. It's easy to equate breastfeeding with sexuality, because we've done that in the US, but it's not like that. I fully support a parent's right to wean when the child is ready and they are ready.

 

I strongly suspect the kid won't be coming home from college to nurse.

[aimeebd]

I can't imagine that nursing your 3 year old would interfere with your cruise at all. He is going to be way too busy to care about it during the day, and may be too exhausted even at bedtimes. If he does want to, you will probably be thankful for that calm time when you need it.

 

We picked his 4th birthday as a mutually agreed upon date, but the last 6 months of nursing there were full weeks that he didn't nurse (including a week we were on vacation together), but then he would start again. I could never figure out what the cues were that made him start again, and changes in routine would either have him stop, or nurse more.

 

If you are looking for that time to put in his head for weaning, I think you might do better picking the return from the cruise as time to wean just in case.

[lexxity]

My little spud has decided tonight he doesn't want a feed. Nowhere in my books does it say that he will do this! Was a little surprised at first.

 

America has a higher rate of breastfeeding Mums than the UK does. The level over here is SHOCKINGLY low! So I'm really proud of my achievement.

[rebeccalouise]

A 3 year old is drinking from a cup and eating table food- obviously. The bond with the breast is more a habit of the mother. I doubt the child would miss the breast feeding if it is no longer offered.

 

I honestly think it is more an attachment issue for the mother and a reluctance to move forward. A 3 year old is not a baby and doesn't need breast milk to sustain himself.

 

I was sad, both mentally and perhaps chemically when my son stopped nursing but I said that I would take his cues from him. He was a little man at 10 months and no longer interested. That was that. I didn't try to force the issue. He looked up at my breasts- tweeked on with his fingers- as if to say- "You've got to be joking". He was done.

 

All kids are different but I seriously doubt a 3 year old is the one clamoring for the breastfeeding. Mom needs to accept that she is dealing with a toddler- not a baby.

[OnTheBrink]

I honestly think it is more an attachment issue for the mother and a reluctance to move forward. A 3 year old is not a baby and doesn't need breast milk to sustain himself.

 

All kids are different but I seriously doubt a 3 year old is the one clamoring for the breastfeeding. Mom needs to accept that she is dealing with a toddler- not a baby.

 

This is the kind of thing that makes no sense to me. First of all, if you haven't nursed a kid this age, it's really hard to judge, I'd think. (Then again, judging is a favorite pasttime of many, huh?)

 

But, really, if you know 3 year olds, you know that they do not do things they do not want to do. I could certainly never force him to nurse! Three year olds are famous for insisting on doing things their way and refusing to do what they do not want to do. This is part of their natural and appropriate development. So, a 3 year old who is nursing is doing so because he wants to nurse.

 

It COULD be that it something that BOTH the mother AND child want. It's possible for mother and child to be totally on the same page - not working against each other!

 

Many medical organizations, including the American Academy of Pediatricians, state that breastfeeding should occur for at least a year, preferably two years, and as long thereafter as is mutally agreed upon by mother and child. Sounds good to me!

 

But really - I doubt that Cruise Critic is the appropriate forum for the extended breastfeeding debate. I just wanted thoughts on weaning with regards to the cruise. I think now that I won't do it. It just would be one more thing to worry about. Maybe after we get home from the big boat, we'll start the process. We'll worry about that then!

 

Thank you all for your great advice and sharing!

[sas80]

A 3 year old is drinking from a cup and eating table food- obviously. The bond with the breast is more a habit of the mother. I doubt the child would miss the breast feeding if it is no longer offered.

 

I honestly think it is more an attachment issue for the mother and a reluctance to move forward. A 3 year old is not a baby and doesn't need breast milk to sustain himself.

 

I was sad, both mentally and perhaps chemically when my son stopped nursing but I said that I would take his cues from him. He was a little man at 10 months and no longer interested. That was that. I didn't try to force the issue. He looked up at my breasts- tweeked on with his fingers- as if to say- "You've got to be joking". He was done.

 

All kids are different but I seriously doubt a 3 year old is the one clamoring for the breastfeeding. Mom needs to accept that she is dealing with a toddler- not a baby.

 

You said it yourself

 

All kids are different

 

So how can you possibly assume that her child is like your child is like my child?

 

I have heard of situations where children start to pull on their hair/pull their hair out because of the anxiety of having their boob taken away from them.

 

Remember, not every child is a carbon copy of your child.

 

Not every child sleeps thru the night at 8 weeks, mine did. Does that give me the right to judge others and tell them they are handling something wrong?

 

Nope!

[lexxity]

Please do not judge others by your ideals, they are yours not others Rebecca. As I said before my little man is 21 months. I thought he might be ready to stop early last month. Was I wrong! He screamed like mad!

 

Just because you do something your way doesn't give you the right to place those feelings on others. I bet you wouldn't feel so strongly about a three year old still having a bottle of milk at bedtime.

 

BTW - the World Health Organisation (WHO) recommends breastfeeding for at least two years!

 

I think cruisecritic is a great place for this discussion, lots of people from around the world, not all of them critically judgemental.

[Luxuriate]

I posted earlier that I stopped trying to breastfeed when my son was about 3 months. I found that I got caught up in the foreshadowing of a debate.

 

My opinion, if breastfeeding is working for you and your family and you feel strongly that it should be a mutual decision between the parent and child as to when to discontinue breast feeding, then I don't see why there is any need to make your cruise a cut-off.

 

I would suggest, however, that you breastfeed your 3 1/2 year old within your cabin. You will no doubt encounter plenty of people that would find it offensive to view your older toddler openly breastfeeding. Heck, there are people out there that think it is offensive for a 3 1/2 week old baby to breastfeed openly. I'm not offended but I know there are plenty that are.

 

I say go ahead and continue if the two of you want to but save yourself the backlash of complaints you might get for openly breastfeeding by making it a quiet-time activity in your cabin.

 

Just my opinion/advice,

 

Cheryl

[Branwen]

I think breastfeeding is a personal decision between mother and child and it shouldn't matter how long the child nurses. The WHO recommends that a child nurse for at least two years and the longer, the better I say. It certainly won't harm the child.

 

At the same time, I don't think it is fair for nursing mothers to judge moms who bottlefeed their child. Due to medical reasons, I was unable to nurse my child and had to bottlefeed. Over the last 10 months I have been subjected to many unasked for opinions and critisims and made to feel like a horrible mother for feeding formula.

 

To each their own, I say. :)

[OnTheBrink]

Yeah, I imagine we would nurse only in the cabin. But it's not because I worry about offending anyone. I actually think it's good for people to see something that's a bit out of the norm for them. That's why many of us travel, right?

 

We'd nurse in the cabin because we use nursing as a way to calm down, and even take a nap. We almost always nurse at home, or somewhere he can really settle down and rest.

[rebeccalouise]

I am going to debate this issue because I think there are many Moms that simply don't to end the baby stage.

 

I don't dispute one year of nursing- Even two years of nursing but beyod that it simply isn't a necessity. I am sorry if people think I am trying to act as an expert. I am only parent- who read up on such things.

 

Kids have an oral fixation that last normally from birth to age 2.

Then the child moves to the anal fixation- meaning control of bowel movements. They shouls have gotten past the oral fixation at this point.

 

My kids were allowed a bottle until age two- which we donated to the garbage man- bye, bye bottles. Then pacifiers I allowed at nap and bedtime until the age of 3. Then bye, bye pacifiers.

 

That's it. My kids sleep in their own beds, don't wet the beds, don't need ninnies or blankies- Its called doing the right thing for your child- while still addressing the needs of a child.

 

I am sorry if people don't want to hear it but read up on this subject. The breastfeeding is a controversy but I know that my kids ages 19 and 6 are very independent. They don't need their mommy all the time- aren't afraid of social situations and sleep thru the night.

 

Don't baby a toddler- accept the fact that they have transcended the oral stage. You aren't helping them and I doubt that it creates a good atmosphere at home or at school for a kid.