Any Resistance From Family To Your Cruise Ship Wedding?

[NurseBeth]

I was just wondering if anyone else's mother has looked at them cross-eyed every time you mention getting married on a cruise ship? I think my mom (and other members of my family) are convinced that our wedding will resemble an incredibly gaudy, tacky & tasteless Vegas show. I keep telling my mother about this WONDERFUL website I've found where these WONDERFUL brides have posted up pictures and answered all of my questions, but she just isn't convinced. It doesn't really matter, because my fiance' & I are pretty much paying for the whole thing ourselves, but I was just wondering if any of you have experienced this.

 

Even when I tell some of my friends I get the look like "Why aren't you getting married in a church? Or a country club? Or a hotel?!"

 

*sigh* ;)

[Saraloo]

i dont know, i think that they should appreciate the creativity! I mean c'mon, who wouldnt want to get married on a huge beautiful ship? The good thing for us though is that we are getting married at port, and this was acutally a way to get less people to come, which we are having like 130! but if we were doing it at a hall.. we are looking at over 200 ppl. I just tell them that they will love it, and for the ones that arent sailing, well they are going to cry when they have to get off! Dont let the discourage you because its your day! PS my mom isnt even going, but i cant sweat it. Best wishes!!

[KillaFee]

My mother and my fiances family and all of our friends are thrilled that we're all taking a cruise and getting married in Aruba while on the Adventure of the Seas, but I sure have PLENTY of family members that are giving us a hard time via my mom. I just laugh and say "That's fine with me - I have plenty of people that are elated to be w/us for a week!" I think it's hilarious that anyone would have a problem w/what YOU decide to do for YOUR wedding day. Who else has the right to judge how you get married?

We've always been sorta non-traditional and I never wanted that big fairy tale wedding (blech :eek: ) . I always wanted something different and intimate and that's exactly what we're doing. You just have to let people know that you're doing it your way. If someone doesn't like what you're doing tell them that should they decide to renew their vows or re-marry in the future that you expect to have a say in what goes on in their wedding. :D

I just keep in mind that some people are always going to be afraid of anything different than what they're used to. Don't take it personally and have fun planning you wedding!

Laura

[fairbrot]

My mother is SO excited she can't stand it. She's been shopping for months :)

We thought we'd only have about 1/2 dozen people come with us - now we're up to 54. It's crazy - but we're going to have the BEST time.

I have family flying in from England and Canada to cruise with us also and several friends are turning this into a "once in a lifetime" family vacation.

 

It's your day and you should do exactly what you want to do. If they don't want to join you - it's their loss.

[ShedQueen77]

Yeah, you could say that. They "loved" the idea so much that only one couple out of my fiance's entire family was going to go with us and now they aren't even going! He's one of 10 siblings and has about 56 (I lost count) nieces and nephews (including greats) if that tells ya how thrilled they were about our wedding choice! :) My sisters can't afford it and my parents declined because my sister "couldn't find a babysitter for her kids for a whole week while they were gone".

 

With the size of his family, a normal land wedding would have been a disaster financially and spiritually. Most of them wouldn't have shown up anyhow; they never do. They just show up for the reception part. His nephew got married last year and only 12 family members showed to the ceremony, but about 70 did for the reception. The ones who did show for the ceremony just sat and picked apart all the bride's choices and were just generally a negative bunch. My favorites "Her hair looks awful and why isn't she wearing a veil anyhow?", "Those flowers aren't the right color, I would have used xyz.." "This church isn't decorated enough" and "How long do you think THIS marriage will last"? I'm glad to have escaped that! :)

[Moeve]

Hey if you are even paying your own way then tell them you don't want to join us tough but we don't want to hear it (besides it is increadably rude to nit pick about an invitation!!!) Sure you are going to have a few how cannot afford to join you but I am sure you were aware of that while looking into this option.

 

It is your wedding so do it for yourselves and enjoy it.... You could have a small !!! reception when you get back with photos etc.

[floridagirl07]

We are paying for everything and never expected our families to help, so we decided we were getting married in the islands before we even told anyone we were engaged. Our families are fine with the idea. My mom lives in another country, so it's a good way to get everyone together. My fiance's family is so happy he is finally getting married (he's 38) that they will go anywhere to see him tie the knot.

 

Maybe reminding your family that they don't have to plan anything and there is a lot less stress involved in this type of wedding will help. Everyone can just show up and enjoy the festivities and have a great vacation. Good luck.

 

Heidi

[fungirl76]

We have also had people share their negative thoughts about us doing a destination wedding. Don't let it get you down. We knew going into this that everyone would not love it and that very few people would join. Now as we talk about all of our plans and as it gets closer to the wedding more people are deciding to go. Either way though, we didn't mind, it's how we want to start our life and not what others want. Good luck, I'm sure you will have a wonderful time.

[Meeko32198]

My parents and family are all sailing with us, in fact we only have one that is just flying in for the ceremony and is my only non-sailing guest on the bride side.

 

The groom's side however is different. My fiance's family is not sailing with us because his parents were afraid of offending their non-sailing relatives by "ditching them" for the week. Also I think they think our wedding is going to be some tacky vegas show like you mentioned above. My family on the other hand are experienced cruisers and know how nice things can be.

 

I have another month to wait on the final invitations to come back, and I'm to a point where if they don't come in a physical copy then they aren't going and to bad for them. The rest of us will have fun, and that's all that matters. :)

[mandabear]

Everyone LOVED the idea when we first told them about our cruise wedding. And then, we booked it, told them about our choices, and boy did those attitudes change. (some of them) We're happy with our choice and if people join us, great, if not, then it will just be us. But yeah, we've had a few bumps along the way. (like my future S-I-L asking me "what is your mom doing to defray the costs for your guests?" ummmm..... my family isn't wealthy. they aren't even helping me, so they are not helping my guests either!) things are getting better again. It basically took one time of me making it VERY clear that, while we'd love to have you as our guest, if you can't, or don't want to come, we'll see you when we get back!

[surrocruiser]

We originally wanted to get married in St Thomas/St John but changed it to Florida due to making it easier for family to come.

My DHs family didn't come, they actually spent the 6 months prior to the wedding criticizing our choice/complaining that we were living in sin bc we lived together before the wedding. His mom was changing her mind every other week about coming. A week before, she said she couldn't come bc she didn't have any vacation time. the day before we left, we get a call asking when exactly we will be back bc she is taking a weeks vacation to go visit her sister. (she was puppy sitting) It didn't make any sense to me, but she was agreeing to puppy sit.

The rest of his family still make comments about us not doing things the right way.

My family, who really knows if they would have come. After quite a few LONG discussions with my daughters, we decided they really didn't want to come since I was going to be busy. (I know most people don't agree with it, but it worked for us)

I was very happy to have just the 2 of us, since it is supposed to be all about us. 3 friends decided to surprise us by showing up. I hate surprises, but we adjusted and everything was fine.

 

The point is, if they don't like it, they aren't being forced to go. Enjoy your day.

[DiverGal]

We had some resistance, for a few different reasons. Some people ended up coming and some didn't. We offered to pay for the cruises of all immediate family members, but my mother initially said she would not be able to come. She had her animals to consider, and she might get seasick, and she was nervous about traveling from Wisconsin to New York. Things worked out, though, and my brothers agreed to travel with her, so she did end up coming.

 

My now father-in-law got frustrated when it looked like his half of the family might not be attending, and his words were, I remember them well, "You had to go get all pomp and circumstance!" By which he meant putting on airs, this said to his son. We laughed that one off, because if there's one thing Carnival does not do, it's put on airs. Other cruise lines are much better for that. Dad settled down when his clan hired a bus and came en masse.

 

We've been accused, not unlovingly but sincerely, by members of my family of being la-di-da for having spent so much on the cruise wedding -- even though I could if I wanted provide spreadsheets showing a wedding in town would cost just as much, if not more! It was a no-win situation, though. My family resents show and ostentation, and vies to see who can carry off the cheapest wedding. I am not even in the running when it comes to family bragging rights. My husband and I are unapologetic, though -- this was the wedding we wanted!

 

We were surprised when, ultimately, 50 of 60 invited guests DID come to our wedding. Until two weeks before we had to turn in our guest list, we did not have firm commitments from 20 of them. We resorted to the Italian grapevine then, letting it be known by word of mouth that under NO circumstances would ANYONE not on the list get on the ship! I guess they finally believed us, because at the last moment, we got phone calls and visits right and left. We ended up having to pay for more guests than we had budgeted, because about half the people we were sure wouldn't come, did. :rolleyes: