What's a 12 y.o. to do after 11pm?

[fin]

What continues to amaze me in child-related threads is the confusion between kid-bashing and parent-bashing. Why do people blame the kids for their behavior? And why do parents defend their well-behaved children when bad behavior is being described? If kids are behaving is such a way as to bother other passengers' enjoyment of the cruise, it is the parents of that child who are to blame, NOT the poor neglected (probably bored) children. And if as a parent, your child is not misbehaving, then I am NOT talking about you.

 

THEN we can debate what should and should not be allowed, but lets put the responsibility where it belongs. And YES I think rude, obnoxious adults are just as bad, if not worse, but unfortunately it is far from exclusive to the drunks. Bad behavior is bad behavior.

 

Finally, for the most part I think people of all ages are very well behaved on cruises (compared to at my local mall) and I always assume it is because we are all so happy! :)

 

Excellent point. Made me smile again. The reflexive "not MY kids" response does tend to make one wonder whether they "protest too much". You said it well, if the kids ARE well behaved, they are not the topic of discussion. Simple.

[veggie59]

I'm all for letting both your 12 and 16 year old stay out unsupervised as long as they want. After all your all on vacation.

 

Just think how much more fun it will be next year, with your new grandchild.

 

NOT!!!

 

Ha ha......I would HOPE that wouldnt happen....but ....who knows. Unsupervised is unsupervised......people of all ages do things they may later regret. Kids test the water (no pun) when given the chance......not all will....but some do.

[lisid]

I agree it is clear. The OP does not know what to do with the 12 y.o. from 11 untill 12. The post makes it equally clear that the 12 y.o. is in the kids program untill 11; so, the OP is obviously out doing things with her husband, away from both children. (Are we in agreement so far?).

 

She is, thus, looking for some way to fill the gap from 11 and 12, when the 16 y.o. can attend to the younger sibling. If she were looking for a family activity for her, her husband, and the 12 y.o. to do together, she would have said so, and would not have written the post (and the post title) the way she did.

 

And lastly, why do you, and a few of your cronies, anoint yourselves the "post police"; feeling comfortable criticizing anyone for commenting, or even adding some humor, to an original post? Its the proverbial pot calling the kettle black. Perhaps its time to do some self examination.

 

I wrote the original post & I have to say...I can't imagine where you figure I want my 16 y.o to attend to my 12 y.o.??? Honestly..I really wish I could figure out how to delete this thread...again..thank you all with GREAT ideas...Chess!!!Love it...ice cream..star gazing...hot tub (although I thought it would be closed)...and so on...to all the rest of you...please move on...YOU READ IT ALL WRONG!!!!

[pixiedustdawn]

It depends on what ship you are on...

The Gem offers a "late night fun zone" in their Tree tops kids club from 10:30-1:30 on most nights.

If the pools are open, you can go swimming with the child.

I have seen people out on the deck with binoculars looking up at the sky.

Shuffleboard and other games like ping pong are available. There is always the game room, if you allow them a certain amount of money to spend.

My 12 year old DD usually stays with me and we are both in bed after the last main show, or earlier. Probably because we wake up very early.

We always like to go back to the room and check out the activities and make plans for the next day. Like a previous poster stated, it is also fun to talk about what we did that day. Sometimes we play a game, play cards, or watch a movie. You can always play a game on deck, or if they have a game room, if you want to be out of the cabin. I always pack a puzzle. We also make sure to get to the library and check out a book we would like to keep for the entire cruise.

The ship is like a big city, with people we haven't done background checks on. I feel 12 is still a young age, we need to keep them occupied and safe the best we can.

Dawn

[cruisewmn]

To the OP: I have a 12 year old son who has been on 13 cruises since the age of 7. There is not much to do as a family after the kid's clubs close. On a few occasions, we have all visited the video arcade, walked around on deck to get some fresh air, and played a little basketball. Normally, we just go back to the room and watch a movie.

 

I understand that there are trouble making kids roaming the halls of cruise ships late at night -- I've experienced prank calls, prank knocking on my door, loud kids running around, and large groups of young teens sitting on steps blocking traffic. It's annoying. Yet, the parents of those children are not going to change their lack of supervision simply because some CC poster says they should. Nor, are parents who allow their children to stay up late with them going to make children go to bed early because a CC poster says they should. Instead of complaining to each other and blaming each other, why don't people do the productive thing and demand that cruise lines chang by extending hours of child/teen programming and adding more family activities at night. That keeps the children supervised and away from adult areas. I would love to go to a late night karaoke session with my son or a family ping pong challenge. I would also like to spend a few nights out later with my DH while my son was engaged in a fun activity in the kid's club. Cruise lines need our $$$ and will offer these activities if we demand them.

 

Other comments about this thread . . .

I'm a former elementary teacher who can't understand black and white posts suggesting that all 12 year old children should be in bed by 11 pm. and that you are a bad parent if you allow your child to stay up later. All children and family situations are different. My DH doesn't get home from work until almost 8 PM. Early on, we made the decision to allow our son to stay up until around 11 PM so that we can spend time together as a family. We believe that the bonds we make as a family are too important to miss out on because of a set bedtime. Admittedly, we are able to do this because I home school and let my son sleep a little later in the mornings to compensate. It works for us. It might not work for everyone, but it does for us. Not everyone has our flexiblity and some count on vacations to spend quality time together as a family. Kudos to the parent who wants to bond with their children, regardless of the hour.

 

Also, in school we try to teach kids through "doing" because studies have shown that children learn best from their real life experiences. I've tried to incorporate that into parenting. Setting a bed time doesn't teach a child to recognize when they're tired and how to take care of themselves. When my son is tired, he goes to bed. Depending on the activities of the day, it could be earlier or later than average. Once, when he was about 10 years old, he asked if he could stay up until 2 AM. I said "yes", on the conditions that I would stay up with him and that I wouldn't let him sleep later than he normally would. By 1 AM he was exhausted and bored with what was on TV, yet he was determined to stay awake until 2 AM. Finally, the clock struck 2 and he went to bed. I woke him up at 9 AM and he struggled to make it through the day. That night, he admitted that staying up late wasn't worth it. The mystery and excitement of late night hours was gone. He learned through doing.

 

As parents, it's our job to guide our children into being responsible adults. This takes active supervision while they experience "life". We say we gain wisdom as we grow older. That's because we've learned from our mistakes. Giving a child a safe environment to make mistakes is a parent's job. Setting rules doesn't teach, it creates order. Order is important, but temporary. Learning lasts a lifetime.

[bfree32]

MRS. Veggie....I am sorry for my errors in pronoun usage. However, I note that you did not just state an opinion. An opinion would be "Put the kids to bed" or "Don't bring the kids on the cruise". You instead offered an insult by making the preposterous statement that almost all children are somehow not supervised and unruly. That is what I, and many others, took exception to.

[iheartbda]

I wrote the original post & I have to say...I can't imagine where you figure I want my 16 y.o to attend to my 12 y.o.??? Honestly..I really wish I could figure out how to delete this thread...again..thank you all with GREAT ideas...Chess!!!Love it...ice cream..star gazing...hot tub (although I thought it would be closed)...and so on...to all the rest of you...please move on...YOU READ IT ALL WRONG!!!!

There are just people who won't believe something even when it comes directly from the "horse's mouth". :rolleyes:

 

Enjoy your cruise on the Majesty, she's a great little ship.:)