what is the wildest,craziest thing you've ever seen on a cruise?

[flyingboy]

Shortly after embarking on our first cruise, my husband and I went up to the top deck to look around. I was surprised to see an old German woman in a deck chair just wearing a bra and shorts. Later on in the cruise we got a glimpse of quite a few naked senior European breasts. I know Europeans think we North Americans have too many hang-ups about nudity but some of what we saw was downright disturbing and almost put us off our chow. Thank goodness for alcohol!

[junglebug]

I have been trying to read as many posts as I can and this thread is so good I am nearly falling off my chair!!!

 

Unfortunately I have do great stories!

[smrtypnts]

several years ago this happened on a celebrity cruise during the newly wed game. a man in his 30's was asked by the mc where was the strangest place you and your wife ever had sex. after a moment he replied "in an elevator". the mc pushed futher and asked "where" after several moments he replied "on this ship". when the wife was asked the same question, she fixed a stare on the mc and began turning red. after several request for an answer the wife said in a very low voice "an elevator". not stopping there the mc asked "where"? by now the wife was beyond red. but did say "on this ship". saw them later on the cruise getting off an empty elevator as i was getting on. had to wonder what might have happened moments before.

 

I imagine that was NOT one of the glass elevators! :eek:

[ronnyclicks]

on the legend march 04 2 friends and i wore white dinner jacket tuxedos to formal night. but we all wore different color keds high top sneakers. lots of different reactions from laughter to disgust. some people have no sense of humor.

[KNITWITS]

:D A couple of years ago we went on an extended family cruise during which our son celebrated his 21st birthday. Needless to say he was having a good time sampling different drinks that everyone bought him that night which was a formal night. We left him on the lido deck with his cousins dressed in his tux and after getting our pictures taken went to dinner. The people at the next table were telling a story about the young guy going down the slide in full dress holding his shoes over his head-not once but twice!!!! 3 guesses who that turned out to be!! His cousin got pictures and we never let him forget it

[ChristieDawn]

...so I was walking down to the restaurant with my stuffed bird on the shoulder of my life jacket, trying to keep my Burger King crown on with one hand, when this wig comes at my face from nowhere....:D

 

OMG....I'm laughing so hard my stomach hurts!!!!!:D

[andyjo0930]

Ok, my sister and her husband went on their honeymoon and they went on a beach excursion in St. Martin. When they came back, they were laughing so hard telling me this story. There was an older woman who was on the beach, and the waves were coming in pretty hard and she got knocked over. Every time she tried to stand up, another wave came and knocked her over. Apparently her bathing suit was pulled down and she started flashing the whole beach, and in the meantime her husband was laughing and didn't even help her!

And after my sister tells me this, she says "we will never see anything like this again."

 

Now fast forward two years and 8 of us including me and my husband and my sister and her husband go on a cruise, including a beach excursion in St. Martin. We were all in the water and my husband fooling around picks up and tosses me towards shore, right in the shallow part... and I got up and a wave comes and knocks me over... and every time I tried to get up, I kept getting knocked over. My bathing suit (which was a halter top) was completely down... and my sister and my husband and our friends were laughing so hard. An NOBODY, not even my husband tried to help me, they were all too busy laughing!

[patmom4]

Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you for all the great posts!!! Been home recouping from the latest week-long stomach bug (on Spring Break, no less) and was feeling very sorry for myself. Laughter IS the best medicine:) Bless you all---hope I will have stories to share after our first cruise this fall!

[Roxilla]

Last spring my husband and 2 of my sons (16 & 13) were on the Carnival Triumph sailing the western Caribbean. On our Catamaran snorkeling excursion several of the passengers were enjoying the crappy free booze a little too much. They started a conga line and this one particularly large woman, dressed in very little of course, got drunk enough to start flirting with the crew. All of the sudden I saw both my sons' mouths drop open and their eyes fly wide open and I turned to see what they were looking at. The woman had taken off her top and had thrown herself onto her back onto a counter and was trying to get the crew to put lotion on her cantelopes. :o They were so shocked! It was like the old Ray Stevens song about the streaker. I told them not to look but it was too late, they'd already had a free shot!

[Butch2099]

Ok, last week in the casino 2 pretty drunk spring breakers come in by the roulette wheel, see the board that tells you what numbers have come out is all red. One says to the other dude check that out, no way..Each whip out $100 put it on black. Red comes up..They go No way,,blacks gotta come out,, whip out $200 each put it on black..red again...Theyr'e flipping out...One of them lends the other $200 and puts $500 for himself on black. (why and how they are walking around the ship with that much money is beyond me)...They turn their backs while the wheel is spinning and bam.. black comes out..The casino pit boss couldn't get their room keys fast enough to sign them up for the casino card so he could get them a line of credit I'm sure..Not many people around to see it at the time but it was something to see..

[jetskier]

So basically one is still in the hole for $100 and the other won $200, if they stop playing at that point. Black/Red only pays 1:1.

 

We watched a guy on the Holiday go through $6000 playing Blackjack in 30 minutes. But when you play stupid, you get what you reap. He had four hands of $200 out. He takes a hit on a soft 19 with the dealer showing a 6. He got a face card. He took the dealers bust card and the dealer ended up with an 18. He busted on three hands and won the hard 19. So he lost $600 to win $200.

 

Dave

[lostie]

Back in 1991 ( I was 19 then) on the Carnival Celebration, I sang a "Cher" song in the lip sync contest. Well two guys did a "Sonny & Cher" song (the one guy in drag). Much later and after many beers I was up on the lido deck smooching with a cute guy I met that night. As we were kissing, I heard someone walking by say "look, the two "Chers" are hooking up!" I had NO IDEA he was the Cher that was in drag earlier! I almost died laughing, but wouldn't tell him why. :o:o:o

[Butch2099]

So basically one is still in the hole for $100 and the other won $200, if they stop playing at that point. Black/Red only pays 1:1.

 

 

Dave

 

True...and everytime that wheel spun I kept thinking It's still 50/50 or less (with 00/0) that black is going to come out...

[seaitall]

Last May we were on the Celebrity Constellation on a transatlantic. In the spa pool everyday was an older man who insisted on spending the entire day in his "bathing suit". My DH and I could not figure out what exactly he was wearing. It was an animal print something that looked like a pair of women's granny panties. You could even see the tag on the side seam. When it got wet, it was quite transparent. :eek: He also had the requisite dark tan and gold jewelry everywhere. He had quite a fan club of younger men. Towards the end of the cruise he switched to a nautical pair of panties. On the same cruise there was a man who spent the entire trip walking around in his winter parka. It was definitely cold onboard but he looked like the Gordon's fisherman on TV. Same hat. He even wore the coat to dinners. Wonder if he had anything on under that coat!!:D

[renata102]

I have two stories....

 

On my exoctic Canadian cruise (we were supposed to be in Bermuda but Hurricane Fabian hit it dead on the night before we sailed out of NYC, so of course we went to Canada instead). Well RCCL made the decision the night before to change its course and of course I kept calling them when they finally told me. However, they did not make any phone calls. We were cruising in September and it was already getting chilly that year. So I had to repack everything for Canada bound. Anyway, when I got to the terminal, a RCCL was handing out a leaflet. On this paper it stated the change. WELL! I honestly thought there was going to be a hostile takeover of the terminal. People were not properly packed (it was averaging 65 during the day and cold at night up there, whereas Bermuda well was averaging above 79 degrees). This elderly couple who was a first cruise for them (we talked a lttile on line before we got the paper), and he was wearing Bermuda Shorts and everything. They were so upset becuase they did not have any warm clothes. TV news cameras came to the terminal, a guy got arrested becuase he jumped the counter to hit a RCCL rep, later on the ship a elderly gentleman died (naturally) and a man was put in the brig for domestic violence charges. People were in a uproar this entire cruise. We didn't mind though, we made the best of it.

 

2nd story...

Just this past September, we were on the Enchantmet out of Ft. Lauderdale to Mexico. My hubby and I kept running into a younger couple. This lady loved to drink. She always had a drink in her hand. In no particular order I found her sleeping on stairs, sprawled out on the floor, sleeping in the bathroom. this husband tried to have a hold on this lady. Kept arguing with her about her drinking. It was so odd, I would see her in the oddest areas, sprawled out. Funny thing is the next morning, she looked fresh as a daisy, no sign of Hangover. While were were in Mexico I ran into them in the liquer store, stocking up on tequilla. The hubby was encouraging her to buy more since it was cheaper lol! What an enabler. The running joke was where we thought we would find her next.

[SheriNtexas]

I am in Texas, where 3 days ago it was 90 and now it is sleeting and the temp is below 30! I came across this thread and have read it nonstop! I didnt think i had anything funny to share when i started reading but a couple of things came to mnd:

 

My mom and I went on our first cruise last October on Carnival Ecstasy. In Cozumel we ate and shopped a little and eventually began making our way down the pier towards the ship. Two guys, who looked college age, were standing at the edge of the pier, facing the water. One of them said, very loudly, "Who wants to see a big fish?" It was then that I noticed that they were peeing into the water!:eek: I TRIED to stop my mom, but I was too late!! She said, very loudly, "Oh, I want to see!!" And i think she DID!:eek: :D

 

Same cruise-i went to watch the Newlywed game. They picked the couples: Newlyweds married on the ship, a couple married 25 years, and a couple married close to 50 years. They did all the same fun questions and then it came time to answer the "crazy place you had sex" question. The husband of the couple married 25 years told the MC, "I can't tell you my answer yet, our daughter is here and she needs to leave the room first!" Well, the MC ran with THAT! He asked where the daughter was and she raised her hand (she was an adult, early 20's) and she said she was NOT going to leave, her dad would just have to share his answer! Well, he shared his answer: "On a camping trip, in the tent, in a sleeping bag, while their THEN young daughter was asleep next to them"!! The WHOLE room erupted and he was 10 shades of red!!

 

Same cruise, last sea day heading back to Galveston. It was very rough that day and my mom was sick all day and it was all i could do to NOT get sick either. It was hard to even walk around in our cabin. Later, i heard the "chime" that meant an announcement was about to begin, so i opened our cabin door and stuck my head out so i could hear what was being said. Our cruise director, "Leo from Rio" said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we know it has been a rough day for a lot of you and the captain is going to change course a bit to get to calmer waters." I was thinking to myself, "Wonderful", when Leo finished his statement,"Instead of heading to Galveston, we are going to Hawaii!" You could hear people up and down the hall cheering! Well, the next morning, Leo came on the PA system and said, "Aloha, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Hawaii"

 

Thanks to everyone for all the great stories!! Even though there are some mental images i may NEVER get out of my head, it was so fun to read all the stories! And as long as there is cruising, there will be MORE funny stories to share, so i think this thread will last a LONG time!!

[SheriNtexas]

Our cruise director, "Leo from Rio" said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we know it has been a rough day for a lot of you and the captain is going to change course a bit to get to calmer waters." I was thinking to myself, "Wonderful", when Leo finished his statement,"Instead of heading to Galveston, we are going to Hawaii!" You could hear people up and down the hall cheering! Well, the next morning, Leo came on the PA system and said, "Aloha, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Hawaii"

 

Got to thinking about this and realized that Leo from Rio is on Splendour of the Seas, therefore he could not have said this since we were on Carnival Ecstasy!:o Ecstasy CD Stuart is the one who "welcomed us to Hawaii"!:D

[AZPam]

On our spring break cruise in March on the Diamond Princess the ship was over loaded with mostly drunk college students. For the most part they really weren't a problem and mostly entertaining, with a few exceptions. We were wildly amused one night at dinner when a young lady showed up in the dining room in nothing more than a see-thru pool cover up, thong and high heels. You should have seen all the men in the room about break their necks trying to get a better view. I am sure she thought she looked fabulous, and she did have the body to pull it off, but she certainly got the attention she was looking for. I was just kind of surprised they let her in the dining room dressed like that.

[sea_u_onboard]

I was just kind of surprised they let her in the dining room dressed like that.

Why surprised? A man is the one making the decision as to whether she is appropriately dressed or not - Right? :eek: I'm sure ALL the men enjoyed it.

[philnpen]

On a NCL cruise I wanted to go snorkle with the sting rays while DW went shopping. Since this was a popular excursion I wanted to get in line quickly. I was third and there was a younger guy in front of me wanting the same excursion. While waiting for the excursion desk to open for business we started talking. When I asked him how he liked the cruise so far he said it was O.K. but it was very difficult to meet people. He was a travel agent from Denver. We saw each other the next day for the excursion. When the pontoon boat got to the sanbat he took off his t-shirt and I saw he had both nipples pierced. When he got in the water on one side I went to the opposite side.

 

Also on this excursion was a very elderly lady and her brother who was always dressed in a black suit and tie and carrying a brief case on a luggage tote. We would joke that he was carrying her money around since she had been on 125 (yes, you read that right) cruises with NCL. He sat on the potoon boat in his suit and tie while she was in the water. When she came out and started to dry off she undid the top of her bathing suit and lowered it to her waist. Her brother was mortified and told her to cover up. She replied that if her 87 year old boobs turned anyone on that God should help the poor soul.

 

Never did see nipple guy after the excursion. Maybe he did meet someone?

[donnagoogirl]

We were snorkeling at Stingray City.....Me, and our 9 yr old were sitting on the little boat waiting for everyone to get done....my husband was still in the water....when all of a sudden this older woman...(Id say at least 65ish) trips and falls..smashing her face straight down onto the floor. As she falls, her body twists b/c the floor is wet and slippery. I tried to grab her as she fell since she fell right next to me. Then I look down and notice her little bone is poking THRU her leg. Im ready to pass out..and so is my son...we are weaklings.......not to mention the HOT FLASHES I got seeing this happen...At this point my husband is back on the boat with us (Thank God)...b/c he ended up helping the woman. NO ONE knew what the heck to do. The guys driving the boat were totally oblivious........they asked my husband what to do! He made them get all the other people out of the water.....and we CRAWLED back to land...took like 30 minutes....while this poor woman is dying in pain. They had an ambulance waiting for the woman when we finally got to land. We found out that her daughter (WHO IS A NURSE) was right there WITH US but chose not to help b/c my husband (who's in SALES) was helping her. She apparently thought he was a doctor. They had to fly her back to Miami...and THAT was the end of her cruise. THE END.

[meathead1134]

On my honeymoon we saw somebody get airlifted off the ship.

[aleahmach1]

On my honeymoon we saw somebody get airlifted off the ship.

 

On my honeymoon I saw a woman airlifted from the Carnival Conquest. I felt really badly for her but it was a neat thing to see. A Coast Guard chopper with air support flying around. It took them several tries but they got her.

The other crazy thing I have seen that stands out in my mind is a 40ish (looked 60ish) year old woman. She had leathery sundried skin, rail thin & consistantly drunk every time I saw her. This woman insisted that her cruise attire for all occasions, including formal nights was cut-offs & a strapless tube top that covered almost nothing. It was really funny seeing her flirt with 20 year old guys and them getting all squirmy. She thought she was the be all end all of the female race.

[AZbeachboy]

aleahmach1, your story reminded me of a elderly woman we sympathized with on a Panama cruise. She was so thin we thought she had bulimia. She was always around the pool and looked like a skelton and her cloths were almost falling off her. Really thin. She was not much over a 12 inch waist.

 

 

Six months later I was in Chicago on business. After the meeting we had a late flight out so went down to the lake front to one of the parks. She was there sunbathing, same bikini and looking just as thin.

 

 

I tried to have a conversation with her but she was not coherient or aware that I was even there.

[calberry]

Three particularly funny things come to mind from a Windjammer (Mandalay) cruise we did three years ago (14 days from Grenada to Antigua).

 

1) We were on a speedboat trip in St. Vincent from the ship down to the Falls of Baleine. This was a combo hike to falls, stop for lunch near where they filmed the Pirates of the Caribbean, and then a stop for snorkeling at a neat little black sand beach. After lunch the skipper started handing out his special Rum Swizzles, and then at the beach we had some rum and ginger ale (a taste we have since learned to love!). As we were headed back to the ship at the end of the day it started pouring down rain. There was a small 'shade' cover over part of the boat, but the rest was just totally open, so the 10 (or so) of us were exposed to elements. The worst part was trying to keep the rain out of the swizzles! (but I digress). Two of us (another Steve) are standing at the bow enjoying the exhilaration of speed (he was flat out FLYING!), rain, booze, bouncing, trying to keep from falling, the water stinging our skin, and just plain having FUN and living for the moment!!! At one point we looked behind us, and there, sitting in the back row of seats was one of the couples...wearing their snorkel masks. Everyone on the boat just CRACKED UP! They looked pretty funny, but in reality they were the only smart ones!

 

2) A day or two later, while under sail between islands, we had sort of scavenger hunt combined with 'do or dare' up on the top deck of the ship. Just a fun/bizarre team game that...you guessed it...also involved some rum (but what part of that cruise doesn't?!?) An example chore: find a baby picture. Well I just happened to have a picture of my grand-son in my wallet, and since our cabin was closest to the game we got points after my mad dash to find it. The next chore was to find a thong: Steve's wife (Steve from the speedboat trip above) made a mad dash for her cabin, but a guy on the other team simply turned around and dropped "trou"...yes, he was WEARING a thong :eek: ...TMI!!! It was hysterical, even if they did get the points.

 

3) The same game as above, but after more rum (and champagne if I remember). The last chore: show us your favorite sexual position. Without hesitation I dove onto the deck assuming that my wife...or maybe Steve's :D :) :cool: ... would get on top of me. But Nooooo, Steve was quicker than they were and He was on top of me before I knew what had happened. And I should add that his head was at my feet when he did so. Needless to say everyone was HOWLING!!! (Footnote: For the remainder of the cruise he was known as Steve Top and I was Steve Bottom...and we wore those monikers with pride!)

 

Steve (the Bottom) :o