Parents... this ? is for you!

[kdinkus1]

I work with children for a living. I own an entertainment company and I see them waiting in line for face painting and getting bored and hot. I find, honestly, that most kids are good. But there are always a few that I want to knock into tomorrow.

 

I've been on 8 cruises and I do see some kids get out of hand, but most of the kids are really good. It's always a couple of kids out of hundreds that cause problems. And because of this, it makes me sick and tired reading all of these posts from cranky old people that are just plain kid-haters. If they want to cruise with zero kids onbaord, then they should avoid summer and holiday weeks and cruise on different lines that cater to the that instead of taking a CCL or Disney, or RCCL in the summer then ***** about it.

 

If a kid is going nuts, find his mom or correct him and then chill out. It doesn't matter whether they are 2, 10 or 65. Lots of crazy people in this world in every age group. I see adults acting nuts too. I wish I could have their mommy's correct them.

 

Now drunken wild teens throwing up in the halls.... that's another story......

LOL.

 

I hope you're not referring to me as one of those 'kid-haters'.. :confused: If you have read all of my posts, you know I adore kids! I have some myself and grandchildren too. My thread was to find out WHAT people do when they see *unruly* children acting up. Those who are puting themselves in a situation that could prove dangerous or those who just like to do improper things because they know they can get way with bad behavior. (ex.. no parental supervision) Not kids being kids..

 

This thread wasn't meant for the type of people that you were talking about.

[Denton_Geek]

I hope this is ok... after all, we are on a naval vessel.

 

[Yvonne]

We have only had one problem on any of our cruises. A little girl, maybe 10 years old or so, was pushing all the buttons on the elevator. When the door opened she would step out, then when the doors started to shut she'd jump back on. This went on for a little bit, and one of her friends got tired of her antics and got off. Her other friend stayed with her but looked embarrassed.

 

Her friends kept telling her to stop but she just continued with a smug look on her face. Her name was Hayley. I gave her "the look" a couple of times but she still didn't stop. Finally she said, "don't you love it when I push all the buttons?" I gave her another stern look and said "No, we don't. She just laughed and finally went on her merry way.

 

I was so hoping I would see the little brat again in an elevator at some point during the cruise. Only this time I was hoping her parents would be with her. Then I could smile sweetly at her and say "Hayley, wouldn't you like to push ALL of the elevator buttons again THIS time?!" That way they would know what their darling little daughter had been doing. But sadly I didn't get my wish. She was the most obnoxious child I'd ever seen on a cruise.

[cruiser87654321]

Only last week on Independence I had occcasion to speak quite sternly to 4 teenage lads in Johnny Rockets. I teach College and have 3 boys, so am not easily offended but their conversation left me astounded. Clearly it was borne out of young male bravado, but it was obscene, and coarse in the extreme, and in loud strident tones in front of my 12 year old. Also the name of the girl involved,and graphic detail of sexual acts was being bandied around. I left my booth and confronted them, and told them in no uncertain terms that the content of their conversation was totally inappropriate, rude and immature. I was met with a stunned silence.

 

As they left they uttered another round of profanity, and the server asked me to make a formal complaint so that their parents could be informed. Had they not behaved that wy on the way out I would have left it, however the server was adamant that I report it, and out of respect for him (he was clearly mortified at the incident) I did report it.

 

The Supervisor said they would speak with the parents.....I did not hoild out much hope of a positive outcome, no child becomes that way overnight, it is the result of long term poor parenting.

[Bencruisin]

I've had parents with young children and children themselves cut in line right in front of me a few times on cruises at the buffet and such. When I called them on it, in a polite way, I either got an apology, which I appreciated or a look that says "Can't you see I'm with a small child or I'm a small child and my parents have raised me to believe I'm more important than others" If you're getting the look instead of the apology there is a sense of entitlement that is being passed on by parent to child. The parent that cuts in line or such with their child is sending a message to the child.

 

I have raised my kids (now 17 and 23) with consistency. At no time did my children act with indifference to others that was overtly annoying, dangerous or rude without it being corrected immediately. Consistency and starting early has paid off. I also was careful to set the example....And Yes, I would have appreciated it if they had done something bad and been corrected when I wasn't around.

 

On a recent cruise a woman and a 5-6 year old child cut in front of me. I said excuse me and caught the look as she moved to the back of the line. Directly behind me was another child about 8 who was almost drooling over the last peice of chocolate mouse cake on the buffet. The child directly behind me was barely able to control himself and had almost jumped in front of me when the second to last peice of that cake was taken. When we got to the cake I turned to the child behind me and asked if he wanted it. He smiled wide and said yes and I gave it to him. The woman and the other child got out of line. Guess they wanted the last peice also. BTW - I wanted that peice of cake too but the kid behind me was trying so hard to be good I thought he should have it.

 

I don't want to discipline someone else's child and have found that direct eye-contact and "the look" can be a great way of telling if you're wasting your time. If you make eye-contact and apply the look and get back indifference when a child is being a pain (and obviously knows it) you are probably wasting your time talking to the child OR the parent.

[kdinkus1]

I've had parents with young children and children themselves cut in line right in front of me a few times on cruises at the buffet and such. When I called them on it, in a polite way, I either got an apology, which I appreciated or a look that says "Can't you see I'm with a small child or I'm a small child and my parents have raised me to believe I'm more important than others" If you're getting the look instead of the apology there is a sense of entitlement that is being passed on by parent to child. The parent that cuts in line or such with their child is sending a message to the child.

 

I have raised my kids (now 17 and 23) with consistency. At no time did my children act with indifference to others that was overtly annoying, dangerous or rude without it being corrected immediately. Consistency and starting early has paid off. I also was careful to set the example....And Yes, I would have appreciated it if they had done something bad and been corrected when I wasn't around.

 

On a recent cruise a woman and a 5-6 year old child cut in front of me. I said excuse me and caught the look as she moved to the back of the line. Directly behind me was another child about 8 who was almost drooling over the last peice of chocolate mouse cake on the buffet. The child directly behind me was barely able to control himself and had almost jumped in front of me when the second to last peice of that cake was taken. When we got to the cake I turned to the child behind me and asked if he wanted it. He smiled wide and said yes and I gave it to him. The woman and the other child got out of line. Guess they wanted the last peice also. BTW - I wanted that peice of cake too but the kid behind me was trying so hard to be good I thought he should have it.

 

I don't want to discipline someone else's child and have found that direct eye-contact and "the look" can be a great way of telling if you're wasting your time. If you make eye-contact and apply the look and get back indifference when a child is being a pain (and obviously knows it) you are probably wasting your time talking to the child OR the parent.

 

Isn't that the truth (and just as sad!)... as poet 123 said: "no child becomes that way overnight, it is the result of long term poor parenting."

[sistermerm]

I give them the 'Grandma LOOK' and they usually stop what they are doing - well it works for most kids under 12 or so. Make eye contact!!

 

Last cruise 3 11yr old boys were laying on the floor of the elevator putting paper in the door crack - the door opened for me and DD, to get in and they jumped up, like they were not doing anything. So We got in the elevator and I said to my DD -" I know what cabin they are in, lets go report them!" I didnt report them but every time they saw me, they looked scared!!! LOL!!!:D

 

PERFECT way to handle the little darlings!! GO GRANDMA! :D

[sistermerm]

As I said in another msg I don't plan on my kids being away from me unless they are in CC.....but if for some reason my kids are not with me....by all means say something to them if they are misbehaving...as somoene else said..they realize that they ARE being watched by others and that mommy's "nagging" to stop that behavor is more valid! I have sometimes seen more results from my kids when a stranger or even friend or relative...depending on how it is handled...has steped in and said something than if I had. Sometimes I get frustrated so I forget that I am talking to a child and when I lose my cool they don't understand me but the other person is calmer and able to put it in better words. my kids are being taught to respect ALL adults not just the ones they know. As homeschoolers my kids don't get the "don't talk to strangers" talk like kids in schools do. I talk to strangers all the time...how can I tell my kids not to talk to strangers when i do it myself. Of course even at home they don't go anywhere without me. And we have had talks about what to do if we get seperated in a place or something. And on the boat I will tell them where to go if they are to get lost so that they can be brought back to me and I am even thinking of decorating our door just so know which room is our and if someone tries to take them in any other room they will know to scream bite kick whatever it takes to get away and get to safety.....If you happen to see my kids....a red head boy (yes everything you have heard is TRUE!!!) and a light brown little girl that you can smell a mile away becuase she is so spoiled by her daddy.....and hubby and I are not there and they are getting into trouble....then say something....then please take them to someone on the boat that would be able to get them back to me because I am probably losing my head looking for them because SOMEHOW we got split up it does happen no matter how good or bad of a parent you are! I expect the boat to be a totally new experience for all of us...cept for DH hes done this before. I am actually more worried that my son will get into trouble than my daughter...she doesn't like getting into trouble...well neither of them do....but he seems to forget a lot quicker than she does. He is a typical all 100% boy! Even though he has been punished 1000 times for something he will go and do it again because he is THAT determined to do it! And he will be punished AGAIN!

 

I am already threatening..both of them..that if they mess up there wont be another cruise for a VERY long time!

 

 

If I am THERE and I AM handleing the situation and getting through to the child then don't bother...unless ou feel liks saying something like way to go mom you are doing a great job..thanks for handling your child in the proper manner....let the kid know that what I am doing others back up and they aren't going to get away with doing it again....and it makes me feel better! LOL Getting on to your child is NOT fun! Especially on vacation! But it is necessary!

 

It also depends on what it is that the are doing as someone said...there are things that some think are okay that others do not. I don't mind my kids being in the hot tub with me....but if it says ADULTS ONLY they wont be in the hot tub. If there is no sign the only one that would be in there is my daughter any way it is too hot for my son or at least typically the ones we have been in are. and my daughter ususally doesn't splash in the hot tub just sits there until she is cooked then jumps in the pool. If it is pushing elevator buttons....they are buttons...I don't really see the problem with this....maybe someone can tell me why this bothers them so....sticky fingers on the buttons are a TOTALLY different thing though! If they are doing something that could hurt themselves or someone else or the ship...say something...I have two kids and two eyeballs...my eyes cant always see them BOTH at the same moment and if I haven't already said somethign then I don't see what is going on...i'm not perfect but I try.

 

If I have already told my child to stop doing something because they will get hurt and they CONTINUE to do it....please join me in LAUGHING when they do get hurt! They deserve it! This would be my son....sometimes you just can tell a child anything....he is the one that has to learn and figure it out for himself...and sometimes I let him. I can tell him to not touch the pan I JUST took out of the oven becuase it is hot and it will burn him....I walk out of the kitchen to do something else and all of a sudden I hear screaming....he touched it...just with the tip of his finger...but he touched it...I doctor it like a good mother and put ice and stuff on it....but I also make sure he knows that had he LISTENED AND OBEYED mommy...he would not have gotten hurt. This REALLY happened...but didn't change the way he is. He is naturally curious....but he has learned somewhat becuase I have heard him tell his sister to touch something or do something to see what will happen to her...if said thing doesn't happen then mommy lied...if it did happen then he didn't get hurt she did...at least she knows how to tell him no I wont do it mom said not to!

 

 

okay so this turned into a really long post....so to sum it up....if I am saying something to them already....back off unless you are encouraging me...too many people telling 1 kid what to do (or not to do) is stressful...especially if those people are not all saying the same thing. If I am NOT there....say somethign to the kid and get them to someone on the boat who will get them back to me or make an announcement or SOMETHING my kids know mine and my husbands FULL names so they can tell you who we are and they will also know our room number. If I am there but am not doing anything either get my attention to the problem or say something to the kid. When I realize what is going on I will let you finish what you are saying to them....even if I don't agree entirely....I want them to realize that they have to obey and respect all adults...within reason of course.

 

Not all parents are like this...some think that NOONE should even look at their child crossly becuase if their little johnny is doing something and they have a problem then tough! They don't care about others....and I think these are the people that everyone seems to have to most probelms with...even I don't like those people! I hope this has helped you a little though...this is MY opinion and part of how I raise MY kids...not all feel the same! I would rather someone get onto my kid for something that I typically let them do (maybe I don't realize that it is annoying or could hurt others I don't know EVERYTHING I am only human) Than for them to continue saying or doing something to ruin someone vacation.

 

Sassy5683... you are the best... if I ever see you on one of my cruises, I have a feeling I will be approaching you to tell you how well behaved your children are! Kids and mommies need to hear that they are doing a good job ! :)

[Tina-Ann]

How do you want us to stop your unruly child's behavior if you aren't around? OR if you are there but just don't care??

How do you stop an adult's unruly behavior? What do you do or say when a passenger shows up at the dining room (and is let in) for dinner in shorts? Or ripped jeans? What about the the adults sitting next to you in the theater who are dropping the F bomb while our own kids are sitting right there? What about the cabin that you walk past and smell pot oozing from under the door? Or the senior citizens in the cabin next to you whoopin it up until 3:00am? Or the parent who has their not-potty trained kid in the pool and (mistakenly) believes that swim diapers keep the crap from oozing into the pool water? What do you do if that 50 something year old man saves 5 lounge chairs poolside (by putting 1 shoe each on 2 chairs, a magazine on the 3rd chair, suntan lotion on the 4th and on the 5th chair maybe a book of matches), leaves and does not return until after lunch? If you have had too many drinks, or decide to steal all those unwanted photos that you know will be tossed, or treat your dining room server like an indentured slave; would you want my (tall) 13 year old to look you in the eye and tell you to behave? It takes all kinds to make the world go 'round, but you know what they say about not throwing stones if you live in a glass house:D

[Crusin6]

Absolutely. But the worst was when they then went and told your parents of your misdeed(s). You would get it again from the folks. The amazing thing is most of us have reached adulthood and gone on to productive lives.

I remember that sort of stuff as well....and I also remember hating that uncle or best friend foever after that. My parents I would love unconditionally......but if a different adult hit me that was another story. It didn't happen more than once or twice during my childhood but I do know I never spoke to that adult again. I grew up fine as well, but it stuck with me.....as I am sure it would stick with a child today. Glad adults know not to do this nowadays.

[Crusin6]

How do you stop an adult's unruly behavior? What do you do or say when a passenger shows up at the dining room (and is let in) for dinner in shorts? Or ripped jeans? What about the the adults sitting next to you in the theater who are dropping the F bomb while our own kids are sitting right there? What about the cabin that you walk past and smell pot oozing from under the door? Or the senior citizens in the cabin next to you whoopin it up until 3:00am? Or the parent who has their not-potty trained kid in the pool and (mistakenly) believes that swim diapers keep the crap from oozing into the pool water? What do you do if that 50 something year old man saves 5 lounge chairs poolside (by putting 1 shoe each on 2 chairs, a magazine on the 3rd chair, suntan lotion on the 4th and on the 5th chair maybe a book of matches), leaves and does not return until after lunch? If you have had too many drinks, or decide to steal all those unwanted photos that you know will be tossed, or treat your dining room server like an indentured slave; would you want my (tall) 13 year old to look you in the eye and tell you to behave? It takes all kinds to make the world go 'round, but you know what they say about not throwing stones if you live in a glass house:D

I too have witnessed all of the above. However, I cannot change any of it nor do I try. Why? Because I know how to act and treat people so none of it pertains to me or my family. We enjoy our cruises and the people that deal with us are not abused or mistreated. My kids would not flinch at some cursing at the shows either. They would roll their eyes to me at the stupidity of that person and yes, if need be we would move. It makes us better people to just remove ourselves from stupid people or ignore them. No need to upset ourselves due to them:D

[surfer143]

It takes a village...

 

Inwardly, I would be SO embarrassed if someone had to talk to me about my kids behavior but ultimately, it is the KIDS fault, not theirs.

 

I need all the help I can get;)

[cathyoo]

We all think our kids are well behaved and we certainly know they were raised to be. Often, it comes out years later some of the stuff they did. They are lucky I never found out! ;)

.

 

 

Its a joke in our house. At family affairs my kids love to talk about all the things my dh and I never knew. The biggest surprise is always the stuff my "perfect never get in trouble" kid managed to get away with. One of these I am going to start grounding them for past misbehavior.

[cathyoo]

I give them the 'Grandma LOOK' and they usually stop what they are doing - well it works for most kids under 12 or so. Make eye contact!!

 

My grandma look would never work. My grandma looks is "ohh you are so beautiful, let me give you a kiss". Now my Mom look that's a different story. My kids alway try to make my grandchildren believe that I was an old meany but my grands think I am just soooo nice and their parents were so lucky to have me for a mother.

 

I won't speak to an unrelated child unless there is danger involved and I would always do it out of concern not because I was annoyed. Running in the halls I might say "please be careful" I'll never understand the elevator issue. It is an annoyance but it not worth getting your knickers in a twist. If I got splashed in a pool I would figure that went with the territory, if a child bumped ahead of me in the line I would not react any differently than I do when an adult does it.. like the elevator not worth getting aggravated.

[MrPete]

How do you stop an adult's unruly behavior? What do you do or say when a passenger shows up at the dining room (and is let in) for dinner in shorts? Or ripped jeans? What about the the adults sitting next to you in the theater who are dropping the F bomb while our own kids are sitting right there? What about the cabin that you walk past and smell pot oozing from under the door? Or the senior citizens in the cabin next to you whoopin it up until 3:00am? Or the parent who has their not-potty trained kid in the pool and (mistakenly) believes that swim diapers keep the crap from oozing into the pool water? What do you do if that 50 something year old man saves 5 lounge chairs poolside (by putting 1 shoe each on 2 chairs, a magazine on the 3rd chair, suntan lotion on the 4th and on the 5th chair maybe a book of matches), leaves and does not return until after lunch? If you have had too many drinks, or decide to steal all those unwanted photos that you know will be tossed, or treat your dining room server like an indentured slave; would you want my (tall) 13 year old to look you in the eye and tell you to behave?

 

You mean the grandma look wouldn't work? These bold disciplinarians would actully become "weak" if the offending party was not a helpless child just waiting to be bullied?

 

:rolleyes:

[kdinkus1]

You mean the grandma look wouldn't work? These bold disciplinarians would actully become "weak" if the offending party was not a helpless child just waiting to be bullied? :rolleyes:

 

Being weak isn't the issue... taking on a 250lb drunk is a NO-BRAINER!

Bullying a child is RIDICULOUS! Not I nor any other poster said we would do such a thing...

 

If telling a child NOT to run down the halls because they had just run into an elderly person, or pushing EVERY elevator floor button just because they are bored and CAN GET AWAY WITH IT, or having a child in the pool splashing water CONTINUOSLY in other peoples' (including small childrens) faces because dear mommy or daddy say it's their pool time too, etc... that is wrong behavior. Period!

 

Yes... it IS wrong for adults to behave badly! But just because I don't take on a drunk doesn't mean I am weak. Besides which, you have no idea what I DO (or other's for that matter) say to adults who misuse the rules of Carnival.. such as those who save chairs by the pool or mistreat their dinner servers, etc... Please don't assume we say nothing!

 

I think you just enjoy seeing your comments being posted and you 'search' for a way to make sure that happens... even if it's to cause a 'stir'. Also seems to me that by your comment about 'coming to look for me' is a BULLY statement made by you! Can't have it both ways Mr Pete. :(

 

PS... I had no intention of commenting on this subject again UNTIL I read your insane post. I felt the need to step back in after your comment about myself (and other posters who disagreed with you) BULLYING CHILDREN! Please leave this subject alone and post elsewhere or better yet... start your own post for those who agree with you and will 'feed your ego'! :D

[Dave Wojo]

I was on a cruise last November and was trying to enjoy the forward deck at sunset behind the windscreens and there were two teenagers (approximately 16 or so) who evidently thought the deck was their toilet because they were dipping and then expectorating on the deck. So disgusting.

 

I'm not too much older than they were...maybe 20 years or so, but I was appalled and since there were clearly no other "adults" in the vicinity aside from me and my friend, I flat out told them that there were far better ways to get oropharyngeal cancer, but that if they were going to dip to please not spit on the deck as it is an incredibly unsanitary practice, to please get a cup or a can.

 

They probably thought I was the wicked witch of the West, but I have very little tolerance for those who are so openly disrespectful of the working people on the ship (who would have to clean up that spit), and to the finer health sensibilities of myself and others. I didn't see anymore of them during the course of the cruise, and my only hope is that they walked away with some modicum of responsibility for their future...if not for their health, then perhaps for the health of others. I'm sure that if their parents had been nearby, they might not have been dipping, or if they were I would have gotten a lecture that they were only dipping, not smoking, which is allowed on the ship...both forms of nicotine use are equally detrimental to your health, especially young men who are still in puberty or are immediately post-pubescent. Tragic, really. I don't do well policing others, but when it comes to my safety or the health and welfare of others, I am not afraid to speak up...parents or no.

 

OK...on what planet would ANYBODY think that this is acceptable behavior???! Even on to a sidewalk is considered bad form. With being that cavalier on where they're "expectorating"...well, I'd sure have hated to be their room steward. :eek: :rolleyes:

[cruiser87654321]

You mean the grandma look wouldn't work? These bold disciplinarians would actully become "weak" if the offending party was not a helpless child just waiting to be bullied?

 

:rolleyes:

 

The act of correcting a child who is misbehaving is not bullying, if that were the case all of us who work in education would have that charge levelled at us everyday. There are ways and means of communicating to a child that their behaviour is unacceptable without resorting to "bullying":rolleyes:

 

However, most of this would be unecessary if parents instilled basic standards into their kids, most do of course, again it is the small minority who cause the trouble and the small minority of parents who feel that their child is perfect and would never need telling off.

 

I have 3 kids and teach College, and if I need to communicate to a child that their behaviour leaves something to be desired I can achieve that in a proper manner and without bullying.

[Crusin6]

It takes a village...

 

Inwardly, I would be SO embarrassed if someone had to talk to me about my kids behavior but ultimately, it is the KIDS fault, not theirs.

 

I need all the help I can get;)

It only takes a village if all of those villagers know how to tow the line, raise good kids, drink and drive responsibly, educated themselves and children etc etc. You get my drift. While I realize that this is a catchy phrase...this village thing......DH and I prefer to do it ourselves....why....just look around at what's happening...in society...in homes.....in schools....and of course the most important place for all of us:rolleyes:....cruise ships.

 

Village....no way Solid parents....yes And, yes, I would not make this statement if we were not solid parents.....and yes, I have been told we are....by teachers, doctors, friends and casual observers....strangers as well.....because they can see it.

 

Why do I sound defensive? I have been around here lon enough to know that the next poster will ask "Well, how do you know you are solid parents"?

[H82seaUgo]

The act of correcting a child who is misbehaving is not bullying, if that were the case all of us who work in education would have that charge levelled at us everyday. There are ways and means of communicating to a child that their behaviour is unacceptable without resorting to "bullying":rolleyes:

 

I would hardly think that a public/private educator, who has been put in charge of care while performing teaching duties, who ultimately is being paid by me, can be compared to a stranger who thinks they can discipline others kids.

 

Ultimately, there are people you report to as well, and will always be held accountable for your actions.

 

And, as mentioned above, would you do this to ANYONE that YOU thought was misbehaving, at any age, shape size or sex?

 

Who made you (not personally) hall monitor?

[LemurCat]

I would hardly think that a public/private educator, who has been put in charge of care while performing teaching duties, who ultimately is being paid by me, can be compared to a stranger who thinks they can discipline others kids.

 

Ultimately, there are people you report to as well, and will always be held accountable for your actions.

 

And, as mentioned above, would you do this to ANYONE that YOU thought was misbehaving, at any age, shape size or sex?

 

Who made you (not personally) hall monitor?

 

I'll jump in here and say yes. In fact, I do it all the time. If you're being a jerk and not letting people get off the subway so you can get on, I'll tell you. If you're a little kid and you're being a jerk by pushing all the buttons on the elevator or making a mess of the ice cream station, I'll tell you. The only difference is the way in which I tell you. Who made me the hall monitor? The jerk who doesn't know how to behave in public.

[KCpumkin]

No such thing as a bad kid, just bad parents. Any person can have a child but takes a good parent to raise one. Some people shouldn't even raise guppies. Anyway, I do believe no one should lecture a child on there behavior because a unruly child on a cruise or anywhere else in this world usually acts like that everywhere they go and it would be like talking to a wall. Not worth the conflict, and if a conflict is necessary, kick the parents a$$ for not knowing the word DISCIPLINE! Good Luck :)

[CruisinEars]

To answer the original question, I don't mind if someone politely asks my child to correct their behavior. I am a fan of "it takes a village". I also was trained as a teacher and subbed for many years before I had kids. However, please don't yell at my kids or touch them in any way. My kids are 8 and 11 and we just got back from our 3rd cruise. We had "the manners talk" before we even left the house. I have to say I am very proud of their behavior for the most part.

 

The main problem we had was at the pool. That is where we spent most of our time. I was at the pool the whole time and I swear I was the only parent there. Some of the boys were getting very rough. I had to tell my kids several times to not participate and that the behavior was unsafe. The reason I had to tell them several times was that the other kids kept involving them. I was hoping if I said things loud enough to my kids, the others would get the hint. Finally Security showed up and the other kids settled down. That is the "worst" behavior I have seen so far and it was more dangerous than anything.

 

The other incident was at the buffet. I was in line at the dessert counter and a young boy about 8 was getting a cookie with his fingers. He picked it up and was putting it back when I said in a firm voice "you touch it you take it". He silently took it and went on his way. I thought it was gross that he was touching and putting back. Granted, I did have to get on my own 8 year olds case to use the tongs in the buffet, but she knows now.

[cruiser87654321]

I would hardly think that a public/private educator, who has been put in charge of care while performing teaching duties, who ultimately is being paid by me, can be compared to a stranger who thinks they can discipline others kids.

 

Ultimately, there are people you report to as well, and will always be held accountable for your actions.

 

And, as mentioned above, would you do this to ANYONE that YOU thought was misbehaving, at any age, shape size or sex?

 

Who made you (not personally) hall monitor?

 

The problem is that those kids who grow up thinking that they can never be spoken to by another adult, are the ones who are become the adults who also cause issues.

 

The term discipline has a connotation of imposing a sanction or punishment. Obviously such a thing cannot and should not be imposed by anyone other than a parent or a school. Speaking (in a polite, controlled manner) to an unaccompanied child and making them aware that their behaviour is not correct is not the same thing at all.

 

I had a recent incident onboard an RCI ship, and I believe that most other adults, especially other parents would have spoken to this kid as I did. A teen aged 14/15 was sitting with a group in the next booth to me and my family in Johnny Rockets.

 

In loud strident tones he regaled his friends with graphic details of his sexual antics with a young woman passenger, he went on to assinate her character and give more graphic detail of her supposed exploits, using her name, and other more unsavoury ways of describing her. His voice was loud and could be heard clearly by my young sons.

 

We were the only other people in JR apart from the servers who were increasingly agitated listenig to their commentary. I made my disapproval known by using the "look" which was observed but ignored, so after a short while, I got up and approached their booth. I told him in no uncertain terms that his behaviour was unacceptable and immature, and asked him to lower his voice and discuss something more suitable for a family environment. He was stunned, although he managed to sound insincerely ncredulous that he had been speaking so loudly, he did comply for a time but then but as he flounced out let loose a string of profanity. The server asked me to make a formal complaint, and said his parents would be informed. I could see that it was important to the server so I did make the complaint.

 

Am I to assume you would have said nothing? or have expected me or any other parent to have said nothing? Not a chance, he needed to be called on his behaviour. If he had been my son, and I had received such an account and a complaint, I would have found the family involved and apologised and more importantly, made my son apologise. We heard nothing, which leads me to believe they were not unduly concerned.

 

Similarly, if anyone, be they child or adult is exhibiting truly unacceptable behaviour in public, then yes, I will comment. By unacceptable I do not mean someone acting contrary to my personal standards, but someone behaving in a manner most other right thinking adults would condemn. It is only if others pass comment that some people realise how their actions are perceived by others.

 

Oh, btw I am not a US teacher so you don't pay my wages!!!

[aubreysmom]

Well said Poet!!!! As a former school teacher I find it second nature to pull kids in line - verbally - when necessary :) This can be done in a respectful way, too.

 

I chaparoned an 8th grade field trip several times to Washington, D.C. On one trip, one of the young "men" in the group was having a fine time spitting on the sidewalks in front of Mt. Vernon. I told him to stop - that this was not acceptable behavior. It went in one ear and out the other.

 

Well he did it once more - just once. A security police officer came over and spoke to him. She told him that she could have him arrested for that. (Something about it being a national monument - ???)

 

He sure did straighten up after that - and I laugh about it to this day!:D