Fred&Lily

My mother and sister leave an old pickup truck parked by the house and some large men's boots sitting by the front door. But they're in the country and have never taken a cruise - though I invite them along every year.

I'm in town and rely totally on good neighbours, but being just a wee bit paranoid, never use Facebook or LinkedIn at all. The kids are grown and they don't use FB either.

When alarm and security companies call and try to sell their services I tell them I'm a police officer and have dogs and thank-you No! ( I'm not and don't have dogs!)

Stopping a paper and calling in for a police drive-by or calling your insurance agent about being away for a time period are mostly tip-off opportunities for dishonest clerks who may have a kick-back deal with a guy named "Vinny".

We don't use cell phones which pretty much guarantee a stalker with the right apps can find you anytime.

Credit cards should be used very sparingly. When I make hotel reservations on-line with my card I give Lily's name as the guest staying.

The biggest problem with credit cards - especially if you are wealthy and use it to buy extravagant jewelry or for high-end shopping sprees when travelling - is that both US and Canadian Customs reward tipsters.

If you buy expensive items in France don't show the sales clerk your passport - even if they insist on seeing it.

Dress down and never wear expensive bling in third-world countries or your stalkers will be muggers and thieves!

Those light timers in your house are useless. Audio and thermal tracking telemetry devices are available even for dumb teen punks to buy.

As to posting on roll calls in CC - I think we're generally safe as long as the listed location is vague.... and no, I don't live in London!

On our last back-to-back from Ft.Lauderdale we found a town-car with another couple at the cruise pier. Driver agreed to take us to the Sawgrass Mills Mall and he also gave us a tour of the Riverfront and some of the bigger houses along the waterways - and a quick drive past Hooters etc... and after dropping us off at the Sawgrass Mall told us where and when (and his cell number) he'd pick us up for the trip back to the ship. Each couple paid $50 and I think we got back by 3 p.m. and we'd started out at about 10:30 a.m.

It was sort of random, but a good day. There was a Neiman Marcus outlet store at the Sawgrass Mills Mall which was a real eye-opener for us poor Canadians!

I have to show my passport to get into the US - and I can see the US from where I live... so US citizens should all get their passports and come visit Canada!

I also try to pick the non-closed loop cruises where everyone must have a passport to travel so as to avoid the low-lifes and hill-billy cruisers who can't afford a passport.

Bought this frigate bird painting along with two others last month in Antigua while cruising on Adventure of the Seas out of San Juan.

Spent more on the framing than I paid for the paintings - but no matter, we like them on our walls as a souvenir of a fun trip.

Banana ladies

Crazy rooster

Cruise Critic forum only allows 6 pictures in a single posting, so here is a picture which hangs in our kitchen which you will also see in the first top picture at a beach at Isla Margarita in the Dominican Republic.

We only have six paintings from Caribbean islands so I'm not really an "Art Collector" and my only knowledge of the subject is that if you like it, then that's what matters. But it's the only cruise memorabilia that's brought us real pleasure and memories.

Haggle and carry cash. Don't insult the vendor by asking for change. I always put what I'm prepared to pay in one pocket - say it's $120, then my final offer is to pull the money out of the pocket and show the guy that's all I've got.

Usually works. The picture above they would'nt come down at the end so I threw in my watch which was only a cheap Timex, and they relented and we had a deal.

After many cruises in both Mediterranean and Caribbean, where I've brought back vanilla from Mexico, spices from Grenada, hand made carpets from Tunisia, jams and chutney's from Barbados, old maps and local history pamphlets and a ridiculous number of photographs, t-shirts, local crafts, seashells and dooh-dahs from just about everywhere; there is one item I now always look for and which is the ONLY item I will buy as a cruise souvenir.

A local painting. Especially if I see something with a chicken in the picture.

Just haggle and buy what you like. Have it rolled up and either Fed-Ex it back home from a port or carry it yourself if it isn't too long a roll.

When you get home take it to an art framing business where you'll likely find the proper stretching and framing costs more than the painting, but that's okay, it's going to be displayed in your house and you're going to start calling yourself an "Art Collector".

You can get the Caribe Hilton on Priceline -all January dates it seems - for about $120/night.

Hotwire gives you all of San Juan regardless of the ZIP Code and if you use Hotwire for most of the January dates you'll get 3.5* Verdanza at around $113 and a 4* listed for about $150 which might be the InterContinental or possibly the El San Juan next door. Ignore the Condo, it's likely the ESJ Condos.

The main advantage of using ZIP Codes is in Hotels.com which does sort them by distance from the middle of that particular Code.

Can anyone confirm yet if this offering on Hotwire.com at ZIP Code 00979 which is the Isla Verde Beach area is the 4* InterContinental San Juan Resort and Casino? That hotel is normally about $250/night

The Hotel Doorman will check your bags in their lockup room until you need them. Over at Courtyard Marriott Isla Verde they give you a pager so you can sit out by the pool until your room is ready. But if your plane gets in at noon you won't get to the hotel until 1 p.m. or so and Embassy Suites usually has a room ready by 1 or 2pm. Believe it or not there is huge hotel capacity in San Juan. Even in January peak season some hotels are only at 65% (I ask around about fill rates when there). If you have time to kill before check-in just take the public bus to OSJ and ride it right back up Ashton and Isla Verde Blvds.

I've stayed at the Embassy Suites and it's just fine for a pre-cruise stay. It's fun to take the bus ( No 56 or 53) into Old San Juan - only .75cents exact change each way and it goes to the terminal right at the cruise port. The beach is nicer at Isla Verde than anything to be found along Condado. It's about a one block walk to the big casino hotels like El San Juan, InterContinental and if you really want to be Thurston P Howell III and Lovie dress up in the evening and go hang out at the Ritz Carlton.

Embassy Suites is an easy walk to Walgreen's, Denny's, Chili's and they have their own section of the beach marked off with towels and loungers for guests. The El San Juan Hotel has good live dance bands and a very large casino - it's closest to Embassy Suites - five minute walk and safe anytime of night.

He got me in a back alley of Old San Juan quite a few years back. I gave him $20 but I don't really feel scammed. I give money to many homeless people and particularly when travelling in the Caribbean tend to be quite generous when I see crippled beggars or very old women asking for a handout.

I consider it a form of direct foreign aid. I certainly never give money to any Religon or Church, so really isn't everyone being scammed one way or another!

Lily and I were walking down a small side street in Old San Juan after dinner and he came up to me and gave us the whole scam speech about his Dad being mugged and the police were no help and he justy needed some money to get a cab....

I'm a tough guy and hockey player and could have said No! Lily kept saying it had to be a scam... but I gave him $20 anyway which is chump change to me and I didn't feel it was necessary to cross-examine his story.

Now, if he had been asking for $20 for a religious cause... I would have decked him right there!

For light reading when you travel you can't beat Uncle John's Bathroom Readers.

I've finally figured out the string that goes between the and will keep better notes on how to do it next time - since I cruise only once a year I forget things between one year and the next.

That picture was taken in Barbados, January 2009. We were on Serenade of the Seas. QMII is show with Celebrity Summit behind.

Canadians will recognize the Tim Horton's coffee cup which Lily is holding!