Kokomo_Man

Day 2 – Sea Day 2 Just across the “isle” from the Pig & Anchor is the American Heroes lounge. Walking in there brought tears to my eyes. Yes, really tears. There’s a big sign, “WELCOME HOME.” There’s a whole generation of heroes out there who never got that “welcome home.” So, it is to them that I dedicate the rest of today’s post. WELCOME HOME BROTHERS Perhaps now it is “Welcome Home Brothers & Sisters.” And I’m glad it is that way today. But there was a time when those who went off to war zones were virtually 100% men. And it is to the “Band of Brothers” to whom I’m speaking now… no mater their gender. In particular, I’m speaking to those who never got the welcome home. You know who you are. Perhaps it was best said in Shakespeare’s historical play, Henry V: We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he to-day that sheds his blood with me Shall be my brother; be he ne’er so vile, This day shall gentle his condition: And gentlemen in England now a-bed Shall think themselves accursed they were not here, And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks That fought with us upon Saint Crispin’s day. I’ll say it again… WELCOME HOME BROTHERS Here at Carnival they have taken tributes to our Military Heroes seriously. They have a Military Tribiute in the main theater. It is well done and everyone should go… not just my Brothers & sisters. The American Heroes lounge has comfortable overstuffed chairs and couches. It’s also the closest thing to a sports bar on the ship. Except it really isn’t a bar and they only show ESPN and ESPN2 on the two big-screen TVs. Except… ESPN is really not the U.S. version of ESPN. Rather, it is the international version. So, this afternoon I’m really looking forward to watching a most important cricket match between two “West Indies League” teams. Who really wants to see Baseball and the like anyway? Hummmm… the game of Cricket. Few Americans understand the game. So let me relay to you what I learned from a friend when I lived in England a few years back: “ The object of the game is for two guys, the batsmen, to stand out by the wickets and try to stay out there as long as they can so their mates can drink beer in the pavilion. The object for the opposing team is to get the batsmen out as soon as possible so they can go the pavilion and drink beer themselves. The winning team is the one that drinks the most beers.” Paul Lathem-Jackon, Oxfordshire, England Seems today I’m diverging from the cruise stuff, so I’ll get back to it. I’ve promised to report “the good, the bad, and the ugly” while doing my “live froms.” I’ll get to those later, but today I’m adding a category… “The Weird”. The first weird is the way the floors are laid out on this ship. I’m sure this is to amaze, confuse, and bamboozle everyone. You see, the lowest passenger accessible deck is deck 3. And that is the deck you use to get on/off the ship when going ashore in port. This is the equivalent to deck 0 on every other carnival ship. On the Party Grass, Deck 4 is really the first passenger deck and has cabins only. The same for deck 5. Finally, you get to deck 6 which is where the promenade deck is located. Now… if you were to apply Carnival’s conventional numbering system… starting at deck 0 for the on/off deck, the Prominade deck would be deck 5 on this ship. With the existing numbering system starting at 3, it appears there are 18 decks. I’m sure this is to amaze you. Are you amazed? However, you’re really bamboozled because there are three fewer decks than that. Actually, there are 4 fewer because they skip 13. The next weirdness is the floors themselves… they aren’t level in a lot of places. Instead, there are little ramps between different sections of the ship. These little ramps seem to connect different sections of the ship. The ramps go up or down maybe six or 8 inches in some places, and as much as s foot or two in others. It’s almost as if the engineers who designed the sections of the ship didn’t talk to each other until the pieces were brought together. Then it was, OH S^&*T!!!. So they welded the pieces together as best they could and then built the little ramps to make up for it. I suspect there were some jobs lost over this. Ordinarily, the little ramps aren’t a big deal. Except after a few frozen concoctions to help you hang on, these little ramps surprise you. As you stumble up/down the ramp, you grab the closest thing to get your balance back. My apologies to the buxom woman with the low-cut top. I’m sure none of those pics will appear on any of the social media places. The last weirdness for now is all the doors to the outside of the ship and especially doors to the bathrooms. In stead of overhead “people sensors” to open the doors to the outside areas of the ship, they have installed no-touch sensors (about 3 inches in diameter). You wave your hand in front of to get the door to open. Alternately, there are smaller ¾ inch diameter buttons you do touch on the sliding door. In the early days of the cruise, the hoards going in/out were backed up down the isles trying to figure out how to open the doors. The no-touch sensors present another couple of problems when it comes to the public bathrooms. When you wave your hand over the sensor the door opens… and stays open for about three hours. Ok… it only seems like 3 hours. If you’ve really got to go, several of the doors open to expose the urinals where the men are standing. I’ve seen men dancing with tears in their eyes waiting for the door to close… or exposing everything because they can’t wait to get to the urinal. I sure am glad I don’t drink beer. The other problem with the no-touch bathroom sensors is that passing closely by them will accidentally open the door. Again, the open door exposes everything in the bathroom. I’ve heard the shriek of more than one woman when someone accidentally opened the door. EEEEEK! And I’ve heard numerous choruses of “Ocupado.” That’s all for today. Next up… as promised, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Stay tuned… Kokomo Man P.S. As usual, this post with high resolution pics is posted on www.kokomoman.com

Today’s post is dedicated to Peanut. No… not Jeff Dunham’s Peanut… my Peanut. You see, today is Peanut’s birthday. And this is her birthday cruise. Happy Birthday Peanut!!! She booked this cruise to be here on her birthday. She got a real good deal… I mean R.E.A.L G.O.O.D D.E.A.L !!!! And she was excited to explore this new ship. So, I booked it to be with her. Except… with the price of airline tickets from California to Florida going crazy… and the uncertainty because of cancellations, she had to cancel the cruise *sad face*. So Peanut, I miss you and really do wish you were here. Now… on to the cruise stuff. This morning started off with the usual stuff… sleeping in late (of course) and then to the sea-day brunch. A little while back, Carnival introduced my favorite sea day brunch item… 12-hour French toast. It’s really a small loaf of bread that is fixed up sorta like regular French toast, but without slicing it up. There are a few spices added in too… maybe a little cinnamon. I make a little hole in the “loaf” and pour in one of the two little dishes of maple syrup. Mmmmmm-mmmmmm good. After eating the center of the loaf, I pour the remaining syrup over the outsides and eat that. It all tastes so good that I’m sure there are lots of eggs and other bad things in it… and a couple million calories. So, this is the only one I’m allowing for myself this cruise. After breakfast it was off to get a Bloody Mary. That has become a little bit of a tradition for me. And especially on ships where there’s a Pig & Anchor. Today didn’t disappoint. The “Pig & Anchor puts many of the daily essentials and something from all the food groups in the ones they make… tomato juice (of course) for vitamin C, stuffed olives from the vegetable group, a stalk of the celery from the ruffage group, Tito’s finest from the make you mellow group, and of course a few pieces of bacon from the clogged arteries food group. This is another thing I’m allowing myself to have just once this cruise. With full tummy, and a little “tomato juice” in me it was time to go off exploring the ship. The first thing that struck me is that there is a bar everywhere. I have yet to visit them all, but it seems like this ship is truly devoted to bars and lounges for the bars. A quick check of the Carnival Hub shows that there are 13 places where you can get a frozen concoction to help you hang on. Hummmm…The Carnival Hub. A smart cell phone and the Carnival Hub app have become almost essential on-board Carnival ships these days. Gone are the paper copies of the “Fun Times” that listed all the events of the day. Yes… it is possible to hunt down paper copies of the daily events if you must have one, but you really do have to work at it. Add to that… any time you want to eat in almost anything but fixed time dinner, or the buffet, you must use your smartphone to request a table. AND… once you get to the restaurant, you use the cell phone to pull up the menu. Gone are the days where you can turn off your cell phone and put in the drawer as soon as you board the ship. Yes, the ship is large, but in the end, there is little new or different on board. All the stuff previous ships had on two decks (mostly 4 &5), are now spread out on three decks. Two of the decks have all the familiar shops… Cherry on Top, Effy jewelry (yeowwww $$$$), “Fun Shops (Carnival Store, Fragrance store, and overprices stuff store) … and let’s not forget the Liquor and Tobacco store. One deck is nearly entirely devoted to the casino. There has been a clear attempt to separate the smoking and non-smoking sections on opposite sides of the ship. It works fairly well except around the cross over in the middle where the “aromas” waft between the two sides of the ship. There are two things missing from this ship. Gone is the Red Frog Pub… farewell old friend. The Red Frog Pub was a place I spent time on sea days writing stuff. Not to worry, have laptop-will travel. Also gone are the Park West Auctions… most would say “good riddance” and others would say, “thank you for saving me a small fortune on my sail & sign card.” Also gone are two of my favorite events: the Hairy Chest Contest and the Master Mixologist normally held on the Lido deck. A few months ago, I was told these events were eliminated to prevent mass gatherings as part of the Cootie Bug protocol. However, if you could see the Lido deck today, it is already back to mass gathering. I suspect a lot of people would say good riddance to both of these too… especially the Hairy Chest. The most obvious new thing is the Roaster Coaster. Yes, I meant “Roaster.” Peanut used to say that when she was little and since today is her birthday, I defer to her. If you are a fan of roaster coasters, then the novelty of this one makes it a must do. But as roaster coasters go, this one isn’t much. It’s just two quick laps around a little part of deck 18. It can’t last much more than a minute… if that. If it was free, then maybe it would be fun, but it costs way more than a frozen concoction to help me hang on, so I’ll pass on this one. There’s a big change to the Atrium. On all previous ships the Atrium had a bar on a lower/bottom floor, a little seating area and a small stage. On the Party Grass it’s a whole new ballgame. There is a big stage and seating on three levels to watch the shows and productions that go on there. While it hasn’t replaced the main showroom, there seem to be many similar type productions in the Atrium Theater (Atrium Theater is my naming, not Carnivals. I think it’s really called, “Center Stage”. My name is better.) One more thing before I find a hot tub and a frozen concoction to help me hang on. Contrary to popular legend, it doesn’t take a week to explore this ship. Between Day O (had to get that one in one more time) and this morning I checked out all the venues of consequence. Having said that, drinking a little liquid libation in all the bars is another thing entirely. So that is my quest for the rest of this cruise. Have one drink in all the bars. Perhaps I’ll do a write up on each one in the days to follow. For now, I’m starting with the Blue Iguana and a visit to my friends, Sr. Patron and Don Julio. Kokomo Man P.S. I’m posting high resolution pics with this post on my personal, non-commercial blog: www.kokomoman.com

Day O… Late night. This will be just a quick update. Actually… it isn’t late night. Sr. Patron and I had quite an evening together, so I’m writing this the morning after… errrr… the late morning after. One thing this ship has is lots of “watering holes.” There are four decks full of them… front to back you can hardly walk twenty paces without running into another bar. Each has a little different flair, but no matter what, they are there to sell you booze. Entertainment at the watering holes abounds too. There were bands at the Pig & Anchor, the Brass Magnolia, and the Havana Bar… a guitar guy at the Fortune Teller… and as usual, my favorite place was the Piano Bar. Stevie D is the best I’ve seen in the piano bar since the resumption of cruising after the Cootie Bug infestation. I should mention here that the Pig & Anchor is also a food place, but I’ll talk about food stuff later… I’m on a diet. So… it was late night in the Piano Bar. I suspect the word is out that Stevie is a great entertainer. I got there a little after his opening time of 9 PM and the place was already packed. As all the good ones are, Stevie is far more than just a piano player. He gets everyone into the full, top of your lungs, bam-bam-bam, sing-along. And of course, there are few late night “naughty” ditties. Everyone has fun throughout the night. Then it was off to pizza and then bed. Before I head off to the late morning brunch… and a Bloody Mary… I should mention the Piano Bar facility. Simply put, it sucks. It is constructed and furnished in the style of a nice little cocktail lounge where the piano player provides background… make that elevator music while everyone chats over martinis. There are only six “barrel chairs” around the ground level piano. (There’s room for two more, but they have been removed for Cootie Bug protocols.) Starting with all the Vista class ships, the “beards in the boardroom” at Carnival have clearly lost sight of what previously gave them the best piano bars on the high seas. Last night was standing room only. Had this piano bar been like those on previous ships… especially the Dream and Conquest class ships… lots more people would have been able to join in on the fun. AND… Carnival would surely have sold more booze. That’s it for Day Oh… Day-yay-yay-yay oh It's time to head off for that Bloody Mary. I hear the Pig & Anchor has a great one. Kokomo Man

It’s Day 0…. Day-oh… Day-yay-yay-oh. Hi everybody. It’s been a long time since I’ve done a “live from.” I’m coming out of cub-reporter retirement to report from Carnival’s newest darling, the Party Grass. Ok it’s the Mardi Gras, but who wants to remember the correct spelling. For those who have never read my musings… and babblings before, I always start my cruises as “Day 0” because it’s a seven-day cruise and the day you board really isn’t a whole day. Besides I get to start the cruise getting everyone to sing the Banana Boat Song with me. So, everybody together now… Day-oh… Day-yay-yay-oh. As I have always promised, I’ll be bringing you the good, the bad, and the ugly of this cruise. I should add that there is rarely any ugly… if there was, I wouldn’t have done so many cruises. Just the same, I’ll tell it like I see it so you can get a feel for this cruise in general and this ship in particular. The Party Grass is Carnivals newest darling. I love cruising on the “darlings” because Carnival staffs the ship with the best of the best. I did the US inaugural on the Breeze and July 4 return to cruising on the Horizon. Everyone of the staff… in all areas of the ship… were stellar on both of those cruises. I hope this is the same way. At the risk of stating the obvious, this ship is big. On the July 4 Horizon cruise out of Miami, the Party Grass had not yet had its maiden cruise. So, even though the Party Grass is based in Port Canaveral, Carnival fired her up and paraded her up and down the Miami cruise port channel… just to show her off. Standing on the Horizon, it was clear that the Party Grass was big. Then when on the 50 Year Celebration cruise, I was on the Glory and we parked next to the Party Grass. Yeah... it's big. Boarding was simple and efficient. Of course, now that I’m Diamond, boarding is always easy. I sure am glad I didn’t have to stand in line with the massive hoards of people. I did some checking, and this ship holds about 5200 passengers at double occupancy. That means around 2600 cabins… WOW! And, since there appears to be a lot of kids, I suspect there will be over 6000 passengers on the ship. I sure am glad I didn’t have to stand in line with the hoards. I should mention that if you haven’t cruised in a while, they no longer give you your “sail & sign” card when you process in. Instead, your cards will be waiting for you at your cabin. Until you get to your cabin, you use the boarding paperwork to buy drinks… perhaps a frozen concoction to help you hang on. Per usual practice, the big doors to all the cabins are shut with big signs saying, “Cabins will be ready at 1:30.” Throughout the morning the Cruise Director, Lee, also announced the cabins won’t be ready for a while, so everyone should go to their mustard station, and then to the Lido deck for some food and liquid refreshment. About every 30 minutes there was another announcement about going to mustard stations. So, the hoards slog their carry on all over the ship looking for booze, food, and of course mustard. Psssssst! Don’t tell anybody I told you, but in reality, most of the cabins are ready way before 1:30. Chances are if you go to your cabin, you can get in and drop off all that carry on stuff. Just open those big doors yourself, find your cabin and get rid of all the stuff… and booze you’ve smuggled on board. As I mentioned, your sail & sign cards will be at your cabin, so you do chance it that they won’t be there if you go to your cabin early. In my six cruises since “return to cruising” there has only been one time the cards weren’t there… and I always board early. That’s all for now. This is the Party Grass and it’s time to get this party started. More later. Kokomo Man – Cub Reporter. P.S. This will be posted along with full resolution pics on my personal, non-commercial blog… www.kokomoman.com