Experienced Cruiser Cruising with a Child for the First Time

[handbellplayer]

We are taking a family cruise in June on Monarch (me and DH, 3 adult sons and a 9 yo granddaughter). I have a couple of questions. My son and his wife are separated and may be divorced by the time we cruise.

 

1) Does my son need a notarized letter from his ex-wife to travel with my granddaughter? They have the same last name and he has joint custody. If so, can someone help me with a sample letter?

 

2) I mentioned Adventure Ocean at one point and my granddaughter said, "NO WAY". She's been a bit clingy to her dad since the separation. I don't mind if she's with one of us (her single uncles want to use her as a "babe magnet' - but that's another story!), but I think she'd have a better time if she met some children her age. Should we "make" her try Adventure Ocean? As a child of two working parents, I think she equates "camp" with "day care."

[njmomof2]

In order to make boarding and visiting ports the best it can be, have your son obtain a notarized letter from his wife (soon to be or already X) that he has her permission to travel with their daughter. Even if he brings custody papers showing joint, leaving the country with your child opens up a can of worms if you can't prove the other parent is aware of it and has approved it. If they are parting amicably, it should be easy to get.

 

As for AO, and having kids who were daycare children, my boys enjoyed it. My oldest was almost 10 when we first went, the younger one was 5.5. They particularly enjoyed the late night activities, which usually included a movie or other activity with a bunch of kids. They even had me pay the extra for the late night times.

 

Given her recent turmoils, maybe gently encourage some time there and see if she likes it and meets some kids her age to keep her entertained. However, if she's resistent, maybe let it go. Divorce is hard on everyone, especially a little girl, and she may need to be with her dad and family more now, so she doesn't feel "abandoned"...not that you're doing that, but 9 year old kids don't exactly think the way adults do.

 

I hope that you all have a wonderful time no matter what.

 

ETA: There are a number of sample letters on the boards, but here is what I did with ours (please note that my husband and I are married, but he was not travelling with us at the time...you can edit as needed):

 

Authorization for Foreign Travel with Minor

 

 

To Whom It May Concern:

 

This letter concerns my children, _________ and __________, both United States citizens and minors.

 

I give my full authorization and consent for my children to travel outside of the United States with their mother, ____________. The purpose of the travel is a cruise vacation.

 

I have approved the following travel plans:

 

Travel from New Jersey to Ft. Lauderdale, Florida via Continental Airlines on Wednesday, November 4th.

 

Travel on Carnival Sensation leaving Port Canaveral on Thursday, November 5th.

 

Travel from Ft. Lauderdale, Florida to New Jersey via Continental Airlines on Sunday, November 8th.

 

Furthermore, I authorize my wife, __________, to modify the travel plans specified above as she deems necessary.

 

Signed: _______________________________

Date: _______________

 

***non traveling parent name, address, phone(s)***

 

 

CERTIFICATE OF NOTARY PUBLIC

 

State of __________

 

County of ____________

 

This instrument was signed and sworn to before me

 

on this ____ day of November, 2009, by ____________.

 

Signature of Notary ______________________________________

[ShelbysMom]

Just want to add that when the letter is required of a child traveling without both parents, it doesn't matter whether the parents are married or not. So even if they are still married at the time of the cruise, he may still need the letter, depending on what countries he's visiting.

[Onessa]

While 90% of the time, you'll not need the notarized letter - it is well worth it for that one time you might.

 

As to AO participation, I am sympathetic to your idea that she might just have a little bit better time if she meets a couple kids her age.

 

Encourage herand dad to "check it out" -- they generally have an open door on embarkation day when she can look at the facilities and meet up with the counselors - WITH dad right there the whole time. They may also want to do the orientation meeting. If that goes well, you may be able to convince her to try it the first night for just a little while -- promising to come check up in 20 minutes or so, so she knows she has an "out". She may like it, she may not. Don't push it too hard, just let her know that you want to make certain she doesn't miss out on the fun. It's something she should do only if SHE wants to do it.

 

My DD has been traveling/cruising with us since she was an infant. Even now (at 14YO) I have to promise to swing by the cabin 1/2 hour after the teen mixer starts on cruises so she knows she has an "out" (she can leave the teen club alone and come directly to the cabin, but cannot "wander" about the ship alone.) Twelve cruises later and I've yet to need to "rescue" her; but I still have to promise EVERY time :).

 

I'm certain with all of the attention she will be getting from her dad, her grandparents and her uncles; she'll have a great time no matter what.

[MamaParrotHead]

Yes, definately on the letter.

 

Regarding AO, I say that although you may not want to push it, making several efforts in good faith may be in order. On a somewhat unrelated note and piece of unsolicited advice, and I say this as a child of divorce, with many friends and family members who have been through divorce....while giving some extra consideration may not be a bad thing, my piece of advice would be to always keep in the back of your head a little warning light as to when "consideration" may be heading towards "overcompensation". It's more important than ever to keep normal routines and boundaries...and lots of problems have been created by well-meaning friends and family letting little things slide with the kids in an attempt to "make life easier", but in the long run creating bad habits and trouble for themselves. I know lots of teens who blame being a "child of divorce" on a wide range of things, and I think that overcompensation may be what starts that cycle.

 

Best of luck to your whole family in overcoming this obstacle and hope that you have a great family vacation with lots of fun family memories.