Your opinion please.

[brigittetom]

I'm posting this because emails from another poster made me go back. I was on a cruise years ago where a female was raped and because she agreed to go to the crew quarters, it was never reported. I know there are strict rules in place but I have no idea what rules are inplace when a passenger defies the rules.

 

I have said this in previous posts, but you all are so intent on saying how wonderful the staff is that you don't even realize that there is another side to many of the employees on the ship. Yes, they are away from their family for 10 months which is probably why they hit on single ladies. Yes, they do provide wonderful service but you don't know what they do in the singles cabins. I've been there. Will you finally wake up and take notice. These wonderful cabin stewards, these wonderful butlers really have plans of their own. Is that so hard to believe. I love the posts that say that the staff obviously is only there to serve and that is their goal. Get real. Their job is to get the best tip possible, have time off and have a good time if they can. Obviously while doing the best job. :)

[north-bound]

:) Hi Brigitte!

 

How true! It is always best to keep a realistic view of what goes on in this world. It is just that they are not only very good staff, most of them. But they are human too. :rolleyes:

[Jumbie]

I love the posts that say that the staff obviously is only there to serve and that is their goal. Get real. Their job is to get the best tip possible, have time off and have a good time if they can. Obviously while doing the best job. :)

I agree with you there, however there are some like my g/f (who is NOT working on a cruise shiip out of necessity) who honestly love their job and the experience of working on a ship and getting to see new places.

 

Of course, I believe that she is in the vast minority and people like the servers, stewards, butlers, etc. are simply doing what they can to ensure the biggest tips at the end of the cruise. They are not doing it out of the goodness of their hearts or because they love you so much. Please note that this is just my opinion. Obviously...

 

***

 

Regarding the sexual harrassment thing or even so far as the ultimate crime - rape - it's been a big concern for me ever since she started working on the ship (speaking crew on crew here as compared with your crew on pax). We've had several lengthy discussions on it with me imploring her to be careful e.g. watching her drinks [thank God she's not a big drinker], being careful of people, etc. and even though she's assured me that she feels safe and there is no tolerance for it, it will likely always remain a concern for me. It doesn't matter if there is no tolerance and the offender gets punished after the fact. The damage has already been done.

 

But, of course, these offenses/crimes are possible anywhere and sadly do happen anyway - in hotels, resorts, offices, and so on. A cruise ship is no different and can be viewed as a floating city/town. The one big difference to me is the confinement and close proximity to certain individuals for the duration of the cruise.

 

Okay, I'm starting to go on here a bit. The short version is that yes, I think it's great to be aware and alert, but there things happen everywhere and a cruise ship is no different or more likely to leave you a victim.

[madforcruising]

There are bad apples everywhere. A cruise ship is not different to the rest of the world and it´s odd to assume that no criminal acts will ever happen aboard a cruise ship.

Of corse criminal activity should be reported and the crew should get their penalty for it.

 

Their job is to get the best tip possible, have time off and have a good time if they can. Obviously while doing the best job.

However I can´t see anything wrong with this as long nobody is offended or hurt.

[NiniB]

I'm posting this because emails from another poster made me go back. I was on a cruise years ago where a female was raped and because she agreed to go to the crew quarters, it was never reported. I know there are strict rules in place but I have no idea what rules are inplace when a passenger defies the rules.

 

I have said this in previous posts, but you all are so intent on saying how wonderful the staff is that you don't even realize that there is another side to many of the employees on the ship. Yes, they are away from their family for 10 months which is probably why they hit on single ladies. Yes, they do provide wonderful service but you don't know what they do in the singles cabins. I've been there. Will you finally wake up and take notice. These wonderful cabin stewards, these wonderful butlers really have plans of their own. Is that so hard to believe. I love the posts that say that the staff obviously is only there to serve and that is their goal. Get real. Their job is to get the best tip possible, have time off and have a good time if they can. Obviously while doing the best job. :)

I agree totally with what you state,,,, I have been away from these boards for some time ( 2 week Panama cruise :D ) so I am just curious what brought this on...

[Sky Sweet]

I think that rape is a horrible crime no matter when it took place. However, there was a point in time when many people in the world thought there is only one reason why a single woman would go to the cabin of a crew member. Keep in mind that I am not condoning what happened, but I can understand how a serious misunderstanding could have taken place.

[CruisieSusie]

I am missing the point, I guess. What are you saying? That people here shouldn't talk about how wonderful their service was?

 

I am sure there is an evil side to some people. But my experience is limited to the service they give me as a customer. So my opinions of them will be based on this alone. Not on how virtuous and moral they are. I don't go on a cruise to mix with the staff.

[Bryon]

Do you mind if I ask how long ago the incident you describe occured? I can't imagine a rape going unreported and unprosecuted just because the victim "went to his quarters". I'd imagine every company has a policy of immediate firing (or "leave") and assisting in prosecution (along with praying not to be subject to a civil suit) anytime a rape allegation is made. Otherwise the company is leaving itself wide open to litigation.

 

As to your other point, I don't see the point. Sure the crew is working for money. That doesn't mean they're bad people. I'd imagine the crew of a cruise ship is composed of the same mix of good, bad and indifferent people as any other group you might meet. The passengers on the other hand... ;)

[brigittetom]

Thank you all for your very thoughtful replies. Once again my post was not worded well at all. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the crew trying to get some fun out of an otherwise very hard and demanding job. My point about the tips was simply that we all know they are working for tips and not out of the goodness of their hearts.

 

I also know that things happen anywhere and everywhere but our discussions here are about cruiseships.

 

What I was really trying to ask (not very clearly) is that there obviously is never an excuse for rape, but if it were reported, how much blame would be laid on the passenger for being in a restricted area in the first place?

 

The passenger I was referring to was too humiliated to report the incident. She simply wanted to get off the ship and forget the whole thing and it's probably not the first time that happened. And yes, there is that fear of coming across as "asking for it" by putting yourself into that kind of situation.

 

I do realize that the lines don't hire a bunch of thugs and thieves and I would think that very very few would be capable of anything violent. As Northbound said, they are only human and being away from their loved ones for 10 months at a time, working 7 days a week with very little free time could push anyone beyond what is the norm.

 

One of our waiters very clearly was interested in my daughter but this was shown in the very nicest of ways. We personally also have had only cabin stewards and waiters that were the best in every way.

 

The incident I'm talking about happened about 9 years ago. Thanks again, Brigitte

[Cruise Cat]

I think one of the things that Brig didn't mention plays an important role in all of this, and that is that the majority of these ships are not flagged in the U.S. and these things can happen in International Waters. This makes the law an Iffy thing. Some offenders may not get punished at all other than loosing thier jobs. For passenger to passenger offenses, it is a murkey thing.

 

I think her overall message was to Be Careful.

[brigittetom]

Thank you Cat. That pretty much is the bottem line.

[Leejnd4]

I think that rape is a horrible crime no matter when it took place. However, there was a point in time when many people in the world thought there is only one reason why a single woman would go to the cabin of a crew member. Keep in mind that I am not condoning what happened, but I can understand how a serious misunderstanding could have taken place.

That is just classic "blame the rape victim" propaganda. "It's her own fault for going to his cabin - it sent the wrong message." Same as, "It's her own fault for wearing that short skirt - it sent the wrong message." I thought our society was beyond this way of thinking in this century.

 

Sorry, but going to someone's cabin, apartment, or dorm room is never an invitation for sexual assault. A women going somewhere alone with a man does not inherently imply that she wants sex. If the woman did not say she wanted it, then there is no "misunderstanding". A simple question would clear up any misunderstanding instantly. No means no. (And I realize we do not know what happened in that cabin, but since the term "rape" was used to describe it, I think we can safely assume that it was made clear to the perpetrator that it was unwanted.)

 

There is never a justification, or even an explanation, for rape, regardless of how much the man "misunderstands."

 

Yes, there was a "point in time when many people in the world thought there is only one reason why a single woman would go to the cabin of a crew member." Thank God enlightened and compassionate people no longer think that way.

[brigittetom]

Lee, It was actually worse than that. It was two crewmembers and there is no way this girl implied in any way that this is what she wanted. She thought trustingly that she was going to spend a little romantic time Period. The hysterics at 4AM convinced me of that. It was a very bad decision that really shouldn't have gone so wrong.

 

Nini, What brought this on was emailing with a friend who had a scary expierience. It just got me to thinking how this would be handled since the passenger also would be in the wrong. It doesn't warrant what happened but it does mean rules were broken.