Parents, Please control your kids!!!!!

[corina27]

ohh a hang over and braty kids....let them take thier pain.then maybe theyll realize just how bad theyre children are.

(I bet they are angels the rest of the trip):)

[CrazyMums]

(I can almost hear it now... "It's THEIR vacation, too!" No one is so superior to me that they can demand that my tolerance level be escalated because they suck at parenting.

 

Okay, so now you've heard it. It is THEIR vacation and it's also MY vacation. Do you have children? They must be PERFECT little angels. I have five children, four grown and out on their own, who were NOT spanked because I DON'T believe in it. I took my children everywhere and they knew to behave. Children learn by example.

 

I do believe that kids will be kids and often will "follow the crowd". In those cases, we talked, used time out, took away privileges, etc. - but mostly talked. I could be across the room from them if they were acting inappropriately and just look at them. They would know immediately that whatever they were doing was not appropriate. No yelling, spanking or humiliation was necessary.

 

As far as serious instances, such as the hot stove and running into the street that has been mentioned, how often is the spanking out of fear or anger? Do you spank the child first and THEN explain that they could have been killed running out into the street? I would definitely be upset about what COULD have happened, but my kids didn't see me upset often and when I was, they knew it was a biggie. Why take out my fear on them by spanking? Would it serve a purpose? No (IMHO). My oldest has five children of his own, that are NEVER spanked, that he also can take anywhere, including two cruises, because they've been taught consistently what is right and wrong. And they are not angels, they are kids.

 

As far as ADD and ADHD, I have three children who are bi-polar and were medically diagnosed with the chemical imbalance that they inherited from their father (also medically diagnosed), so it has not been easy, but they have grown into wonderful adults who respect others.

 

Running Dad, I totally agree that spanking is wrong. From what I've read, unless it leaves a mark for more than 24 hours, it is not considered abuse so I can't say that those who spank are being abusive. I just don't agree with it.

 

Can't quite get the words together in this response - sorry for that - but I think you understand what I'm trying to say.

[Girlsnightout]

See my post about controlling the crew. There were over 800 children on our cruise, and I didn't see a single one behaving badly.

 

This is going to sound cliche, but it was the so-called adults on this cruise who were out of control.:mad:

[GoinCruisin]

Ding ding ding ding!!!!! Just over an hour! WOW! Took longer than I thought :p

[GoinCruisin]

I will say that the MAJORITY of children on cruises are good... and many times, it is the kids that are beyond "spanking" age that are the hellions... although there are the young ones that seem to exist to run and scream and knock people down, grab stuff from the buffet and put it back, unscrew the salt shaker and ketchup... those are the ones that do give all the good ones a bad name... it happens, a few bad apples... I don't have a problem unless someone child infringes on my vacation... I won't infringe on yours and your childrens, if you don't on mine... period. But I also will not hesitate to say something and have... and then I get the (shakin head back and forth and in circles, waving the finger in my face) verbal diarreah from mom telling me that I should mind my business... well, when your kids are literally knocking people down poolside... SOMEONE has to mind your business if you aren't... Honestly, cruising in Feb/October, it's been very nice... very few children on board and for the most part, they are good kids...

[ladycaveat]

Okay, so now you've heard it. It is THEIR vacation and it's also MY vacation. Do you have children? They must be PERFECT little angels. I have five children, four grown and out on their own, who were NOT spanked because I DON'T believe in it. I took my children everywhere and they knew to behave. Children learn by example.

 

I do believe that kids will be kids and often will "follow the crowd". In those cases, we talked, used time out, took away privileges, etc. - but mostly talked. I could be across the room from them if they were acting inappropriately and just look at them. They would know immediately that whatever they were doing was not appropriate. No yelling, spanking or humiliation was necessary.

 

As far as serious instances, such as the hot stove and running into the street that has been mentioned, how often is the spanking out of fear or anger? Do you spank the child first and THEN explain that they could have been killed running out into the street? I would definitely be upset about what COULD have happened, but my kids didn't see me upset often and when I was, they knew it was a biggie. Why take out my fear on them by spanking? Would it serve a purpose? No (IMHO). My oldest has five children of his own, that are NEVER spanked, that he also can take anywhere, including two cruises, because they've been taught consistently what is right and wrong. And they are not angels, they are kids.

 

As far as ADD and ADHD, I have three children who are bi-polar and were medically diagnosed with the chemical imbalance that they inherited from their father (also medically diagnosed), so it has not been easy, but they have grown into wonderful adults who respect others.

 

Running Dad, I totally agree that spanking is wrong. From what I've read, unless it leaves a mark for more than 24 hours, it is not considered abuse so I can't say that those who spank are being abusive. I just don't agree with it.

 

Can't quite get the words together in this response - sorry for that - but I think you understand what I'm trying to say.

 

So you use the "look method"? Worked everytime for me too! Bravo . . . :)

[ihhk2]

CrazyMums: So what? It's their vacation and yours too. What right does that possibly bestow upon your family to infringe on MINE?

 

You utilize the "look"? If you had to use it while in the same room, what makes you think that when they were out of sight range that they were behaving? Obviously, they had no problem at all acting up when you were right there and my guess is that they were misbehaving when you WEREN'T there!

 

Finally, I don't care WHAT new-fangled fancy little conditions your children had. It is STILL your responsibility to make damn sure they aren't bothering other passengers in any way, shape or form. Being Bi-Polar does not mean that the world at large should tolerate lousy behavior from your children.

 

If it "wasn't easy", why would you add to the difficulties by putting them in unfamiliar surroundings with a bunch of strangers confined to a ship? So you can test them out and see if they can handle it? If they are prone to "following the crowd", then the "crowd" must be limited to your immediate vicinity so you can "look" at them and keep them in line at ALL TIMES.

 

Again, MY vacation is NOT a science lab for parents to test the abilities of kids to behave.

[ladycaveat]

CrazyMums: So what? It's their vacation and yours too. What right does that possibly bestow upon your family to infringe on MINE?

 

You utilize the "look"? If you had to use it while in the same room, what makes you think that when they were out of sight range that they were behaving? Obviously, they had no problem at all acting up when you were right there and my guess is that they were misbehaving when you WEREN'T there!

 

Finally, I don't care WHAT new-fangled fancy little conditions your children had. It is STILL your responsibility to make damn sure they aren't bothering other passengers in any way, shape or form. Being Bi-Polar does not mean that the world at large should tolerate lousy behavior from your children.

 

If it "wasn't easy", why would you add to the difficulties by putting them in unfamiliar surroundings with a bunch of strangers confined to a ship? So you can test them out and see if they can handle it? If they are prone to "following the crowd", then the "crowd" must be limited to your immediate vicinity so you can "look" at them and keep them in line at ALL TIMES.

 

Again, MY vacation is NOT a science lab for parents to test the abilities of kids to behave.

 

I'm not sure but what I think what CrazyMums was trying to say is that her children weren't the unsupervised hellions experienced by many on cruise ships. I think she was trying to say that her kids where well behaved (including those that suffered being bi-polar). If I'm correct, I think your reply was a little unkind.

[futaba951]

This topic will never be resolved on this thread. The bottom line is if the child is not a hellion they don't need to be spanked and it's a none issue. If they are a hellion someone isn't doing they're job as a parent regardless of their chosen form of discipline and the parent needs to have a big can of whoopass opened on them for unleashing their little demon on the rest of society. I don't care how people choose to discipline. JUST DO IT.

[GoinCruisin]

This topic will never be resolved on this thread. The bottom line is if the child is not a hellion they don't need to be spanked and it's a none issue. If they are a hellion someone isn't doing they're job as a parent regardless of their chosen form of discipline and the parent needs to have a big can of whoopass opened on them for unleashing their little demon on the rest of society. I don't care how people choose to discipline. JUST DO IT.

 

**APPLAUDING LOUDLY** :D Well said...

[impcinder]

I am a school teacher, I can only go during school breaks when the ships have lots of kids/families. I wish other times were an option.

 

How you discipline your child is your choice, but it should be effective.

 

When I am on a cruise, I enjoy my peace and quite. I don't like being jostled by children running wild and I don't like being 'bothered' by obnoxious drunks.

 

My biggest gripe is directed toward those individuals who believe that the rules do not apply to them - chair hogs, cut-in-line, kids in adult pools/area; etc.

 

Perhaps all could be more considerate of those around us. Just because we are on vacation, doesn't mean considerate manners take a holiday!

[L2J]

Taking this back to Carnival cruise ships. This is a vacation, everything is very loud and big. You will not notice most "unruly kids". I was panicked before my first cruise on the Carnival last year. I worked with my two boys on manners and probably ruined their anticipation of the trip with all my stern warnings. But once on board, I realized they could act like kids and no one would notice. The dining room is so loud and big. So many people are walking back and forth that no one notices when kids whine, goof off too loudly or got up to pick up their fallen napkin once too often. This isn't fine dining, its banquet dining. If they wanted to race down the hall when we were walking to the elevator I let them. Nobody hears it at 3:00p in the afternoon. Kids are splashing in the pool and running and on Carnival you just don't notice it. Now, we recently were on Holland America Zuiderdam ship. There a raised voice would have been noticed so we fed them in the buffet, put them in the kid's club and ate by ourselves.

 

We loved both trips

 

I thought crack was illegal?

[LittleBit0522]

This issue keeps going and going.

 

Just one question. Who's 9 or 10 year old child is the one that ask my husband to buy him a beer on our first cruise?

 

Parents, do you really know what your kids are up to if you let your kids run wild on the ship.

[halos]

Every child is different...so you need to do what works for your child. My oldest child needed a spanking now and again. Not often, but she was obstinate in a BIG way. I also used to put her in her bedroom (which was NOT a toyland. My girls NEVER had TV's in their bedrooms...there are NO TV'S in ANY bedrooms in my house, I have a problem with that and toys were in a separate room...so sending them to their rooms was, indeed a punishment.) My youngest in no way, shape or form ever needed to get spanked as a young child because if I gave her a look she would immediately burst into tears. Now, there was one occasion when she was spanked that I remember. She was quite a bit older and very hormonal (it was a year from h*ll). She got pissed at me for something and stormed up the steps. I said, "Don't slam your door!!!"

She not only slammed it, SHE LOCKED IT.

Now, by this time she was 11. When I was done with her bottom,, which was jean-clad at the time, I was the only sore one. My hand was sore...but she was physically fine and got the message. We never experienced an episode like that again. I did not feel guilty about that at all.

I don't believe spanking her was abuse...and if it was...so be it.

I have two healthy girls...not on any meds, great students, good citizens in their community, responsible kids that have had summer jobs since the age of 14. I don't believe that getting spanked screwed with their psyches.

You can't deny that in the age of 'no spanking' there is a huge difference in the way today's children treat not only their parents and their elders, but their peers as well. There is a decline in respect there. I know there is a lot of abuse out there and it's horrible, but it is very wrong to equate spanking a child with abusing them.

[futaba951]

"I was the only sore one. My hand was sore...but she was physically fine and got the message."

 

 

So Halos, so it is true when parents tell their child that the spanking hurts them more than it hurts the child. LOL. When I was 14 my mom told me to do something and I laughed at her and told her to go to hell. She slapped me on the mouth. (only time ever) Even at 14 I was smart enough to know that was coming. I didn't feel abused. On the contrary, I felt it was well deserved and the point was well taken. I never, ever sassed my parents again. And to this day (age 43 now) I feel terribly for treating my mom that abominably. However, I have never laid a hand on my two children other than to spank their butt. And never with my hand. (didn't want to hurt my hand lol) Usually a swat with a magazine or rolled newspaper. I doubt it really even stung but the point was made.

[halos]

futaba...the funny thing (well, it's funny now :p ) was that when I got into her room, she immediately got into bed (after unlocking the door) and laid on her back...to keep her butt covered.

You know how when you change a baby, you grab both ankles and lift??

I did this with her. Left hand lifted both legs (I can't imagine how I managed this with an 11 year old fighting me, but I did) and whacked her with the right.

Just on her butt.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, she is well padded there (like me) and suffered nothing from this encounter.

We laugh about it now....and like you with your mom, she apologized to me afterwards for both the original freak out AND storming up the steps, slamming the door and locking it (that was her biggest mistake).

That mistake never happened again...so to me, this spanking worked well.

 

That was the last spanking I ever gave...thank goodness!!

[Lauri32]

Halos, we solved the locking thing real quick and took the locks off of their doors. Out of respect, knocking is still required on any shut doors in the house, but at least they can't lock us or their sibling out anymore.

[halos]

Halos, we solved the locking thing real quick and took the locks off of their doors. Out of respect, knocking is still required on any shut doors in the house, but at least they can't lock us or their sibling out anymore.

 

This was a one time occurrence. You can bet your life that if there had been a second time, the freaking door would have been taken off.

[Disneycruiser#1]

1. Can not believe we have survived this long and are on page 9 :). Maybe we are on to something here and with over 5000 hits someone will do something about their child (ren). Remember if you even suspect this could be your child or you it is!

 

2. Each child is different. I can just give my 6 year old a "look" and that is all he needs but my 3 year old is different. He takes a little more convincing but even though he is a "active" little man he is well behaved. If and when he is not he is REMOVED and it is dealt with asap! Chose your own form of discipline with your children JUST FOLLOW THROUGH AND DO NOT THREATEN TO DO WHATEVER NEEDS TO BE DONE AND THEN NOT DO IT!

 

3. Has anyone else noticed a direct correlation between the children and parents (behavior, manners etc.)?

 

4. Had to back up and catch up on my reading BUT I do not think this is their vacation too kombia ya.........we chose to have children and be parents

 

They are entitled to love, unlimited affection, food, medical care, educations, housing, guidence and safety, but everything else is earned. Just because they call me Mom does not mean they are entitled to anything. We go on a cruise they are reminded of that upcomming event and they earn it. They earn books when they hit goals not plastic toy cr-p. They earn an allowance for helping me and they are only 3 and 6 years old. They already save up for items (boogies boards) etc.

 

I guess I do not agree anything and everything else is earned.

 

PS: no please see back to about my third or fourth post (rant). If you think letting them run and down the halls is ok then this thread does directly impact you. I do not even think I need to list the reasons why that is not ok!

 

DC :)

[halos]

3. Has anyone else noticed a direct correlation between the children and parents (behavior, manners etc.)?

 

DC :)

 

YES!!!

The apple never falls far from the tree.

[Disneycruiser#1]

Halos, I agree about TV. I use TV and or movies (DVD's) as a reward not a given. Trust me I could use it sometimes since my husband is always gone to take a shower, make a phone call etc. My oldest likes to watch movies and some shows but my youngest does not like TV at all. I use TV as a reward for my oldest and then I limit him. I also check out EVERYTHING he watches and I use parental controls on the TV and computer. When I use time out they go to their rooms (no toys) if it is a long timeout I will say you are in here so long enjoy your books or if warranted you are in here until I come get you with nothing but your walls..................

[L2J]

we solved the locking thing real quick and took the locks off of their doors.

 

DITTO :D

[k9hndler]

DITTO :D

 

When my older son (22 years old now, well adjusted and on his own) was younger, He would try to BLOCK the door after the locks were removed, so I took the door down from the hinges while he was at school and stored it in the garage. He earned it back over time. You gotta be creative as a parent.

[L2J]

When my older son (22 years old now, well adjusted and on his own) was younger, He would try to BLOCK the door after the locks were removed, so I took the door down from the hinges while he was at school and stored it in the garage. He earned it back over time. You gotta be creative as a parent.

 

LOL...that's a good idea:D . I think "most" things should be earned so they will be appreciated more...JMO.

[CrazyMums]

I'm not sure but what I think what CrazyMums was trying to say is that her children weren't the unsupervised hellions experienced by many on cruise ships. I think she was trying to say that her kids where well behaved (including those that suffered being bi-polar). If I'm correct, I think your reply was a little unkind.

 

Thank you ladycaveat for the support. If my kids couldn't behave, they'd lose their freedom on this ship (Camp, arcade with friends, pizza, etc.)

 

What right does that possibly bestow upon your family to infringe on MINE?

 

You utilize the "look"? If you had to use it while in the same room, what makes you think that when they were out of sight range that they were behaving?

 

Finally, I don't care WHAT new-fangled fancy little conditions your children had. It is STILL your responsibility to make damn sure they aren't bothering other passengers in any way, shape or form. Being Bi-Polar does not mean that the world at large should tolerate lousy behavior from your children.

 

Again, MY vacation is NOT a science lab for parents to test the abilities of kids to behave.

 

 

ihhk2,

 

I also think your response was unkind, and WAY off base, but you are entitled to voice YOUR opinion.

 

What makes me think my kids are behaving when they're out of my sight? I don't have to wonder because I know. On more than one occasion on EVERY cruise I have been approached by other adult passengers who just want to let me know how impressed they were with my kid's behavior and good manners - at the bar ordering a soda, waiting for others to pass by, please and thank you - EVERY cruise, so I don't have to wonder. Others remember my kids not for the bad things they do, but for the GOOD things they do.

 

They are good kids and I take offense to your "science lab" comments. Hope to never run into you on a cruise (or anywhere else for that matter).