Need advise, is it even feasible to think that this is going to happen?

[mikkire]

My future son-in-law and I are planning my dd "surprise" cruise wedding. We're booking for December. I need as much advise and help as you ladies can offer. He's in the military and flying home (no, she doesn't know yet). She thinks that we're planning a family cruise. Took her dress browsing a week ago because they're supposed to get married next spring. I've actually bought the dress she fell in love with. Any ideas on how to coordinate this whole thing and also keep it quite?

[spdfrk]

Hope you don't take any offense to this but I don't think you should try to do this. I think a cruise wedding is a great idea and very romantic but surprising the bride with her own wedding isn’t so great an idea. I think most ladies have a great time planning and preparing for their wedding. Maybe her fiancé could surprise her by suggesting this option instead of you and he just planning it all and springing it on her. Just my .02 and yes I’m a guy so I what do I know anyway.

[ambergj]

OH my oh my,

I was just reading this to everyone at work and I think that it sounds wonderful. I WOULD LOVE it if someone would do that is make it a surprise. The main thing is to GET MARRIED and esp if he is out of town and is flying in to do this...I am so excited about it for you!!!!!

 

That is absolutley wonderful, I don't have any tips, but I certainly don't think that you need ANY negativity. It's not necessary you know your daughter and if you know her you would know if she would be excepting of this idea or not. SHe will be thrilled...congrats!

[laurieb]

I wonder if you can contact the social hostess oboard, I don't know what exactly needs to be done but she may be able to help.

[mikkire]

Yes, I know my dd very well. My dd and I are best friends. And I know that she'll be thrilled.

 

We've got the rest of the details worked out, just looking for some advise on how to initiate it. I know that we'll be able to board early, and we're trying to figure out if maybe he should have her dress waiting in the room with a big "Will you marry me" sign on it, or if he should just be waiting at the area where they first take your picture as you're boarding the ship. He thought that maybe he could just slip into the picture beside her and hold up a "will you marry me" sign, then when the photographer says, "Mr. could you wait your turn," she'd turn around and see him.

[kadiebug12]

Sounds like a fun idea. I think the dress waiting in the room for her is a great idea.

 

Just curious-how will you get her to sign the marriage license application without compromising the surprise?

[MentalVacation]

that was exactly what i was thinking, kadie -- we just sent our license back to TWE, notarized, etc....

 

speaking of which, how will you get the groom's signature? My BIL is in Afghanistan and the military mail is not known for its promptness. I'd say the first thing is to get in touch with The Wedding Experience or whatever their name is for that ship and ask their thoughts on how to coordinate and to make sure it is possible.

[mikkire]

It's a three day wait in Florida. He's coming in four days prior to the cruise and so he's part is not a problem. We're just trying to figure out how to manage her part.

[MentalVacation]

oh i see....you are in FL-- is she a resident? is he? I know that TWE can't/won't handle licenses if either party is a FL resident (for FL weddings, I mean, of course). TWE sent us the app and we signed it in front of a notary and sent it back. Do you know a notary personally? That might be something....otherwise I doubt you will be able to get one willing to "help" basically deceive your DD, even if you think/know it will end up being fine. Just b/c they are attesting to something. But if you have a secretary/friend/aunt/sister or something who would be willing to notarize it, they could just "be" there while you got her to sign something -- still not sure how to accomplish that, without disguising it somehow, as it was clear what we were signing.....I am trying to think creatively, but I am just the type to read what I am signing, so maybe think about that. If she is just a "Here, I signed my cruise docs" or whatever docs you come up with, you might be in better shape, and then have the friend/notary just happen to be there and "witness" it (and sign later, out of her presence) that might work.

[mikkire]

Yes, mental, they're both FL residents. I love the idea of her thinking that they're her cruise docs. She never reads anything anyway. I think you just may have saved us. She has never been on a cruise and wouldn't know that cruise docs don't have to be notarized.

[LisaDoesEarth]

My future son-in-law and I are planning my dd "surprise" cruise wedding. We're booking for December. I need as much advise and help as you ladies can offer. He's in the military and flying home (no, she doesn't know yet). She thinks that we're planning a family cruise. Took her dress browsing a week ago because they're supposed to get married next spring. I've actually bought the dress she fell in love with. Any ideas on how to coordinate this whole thing and also keep it quite?

 

I'm getting married aboard Carnival Miracle in six days and I don't see this happening. She is going to have to get a license from whatever county she is getting married and the license is going to have to be notarized. I know you know your daughter, so maybe she will be thrilled. A good surprise would have been her boyfriend showing up on the cruise without her knowing, but a wedding? I am having so much fun planning my wedding. I just had my bridal shower and it was great. I don't know if I would want to choose between a surprise and having someone miss out on an experience they may have only once in a lifetime. Even the anticipation, the count-down (six more days now!) and waking up in the morning, thinking...this is the last Monday I will wake up as a single woman -- feels great. It is an exciting build up, you know her, but IMO she will miss out on so much.

[LisaDoesEarth]

Yes, mental, they're both FL residents. I love the idea of her thinking that they're her cruise docs. She never reads anything anyway. I think you just may have saved us. She has never been on a cruise and wouldn't know that cruise docs don't have to be notarized.

 

The marriage license I had from Flordia had "Marriage License" across the top and the wedding contract from the cruise line has "Marriage Contract" across the top also. Both of our signatures were needed a number of times. I know I am sounding pessimistic, but I admit I feel getting married is an experience that encompasses more than just standing up and saying "I do." My fiancee and I even wrote out our own wedding ceremony and selected our Bible verses. I gather from reading the "she never reads anything" statement that perhaps she prefers people to handle things for her, so maybe she will be ok with her mother and fiancee planning her wedding. I still would think the only way to get away with this is to forge these documents. Its clearly marked what they are and it will be hard to be missed.

[cruise to alter]

Kim - I really had to think about how I wanted to respond to your post a few days ago. And I keep coming back to the same conclusion. . .Even if you can get around the licensing issue, there is so much more planning involved.

 

What kind of flowers does she want? What kind of shoes does she want with her dress? How does she want her hair done? Does she want her best friend to go? What is her dream wedding? What if she doesn't want to be married on a ship and would prefer your hometown church?

 

You know your daughter and you may be able to answer all these questions, but I just wanted to put these thoughts out there. Like LisaDE said, there is so much more than just "I do" that we girls look forward to.

 

I also got the feeling that your FSIL hasn't formally asked her yet??? Just the chance that she's not ready, and hasn't shared with you (it happens), may backfire your plans.

 

I think the picture idea of him surprising her and propsing there is a grand idea and one that everyone will remember for a long long time. I'd leave it at that.

 

JMHO - Andrea

 

Oh, one more thing - Check out the Destination Wedding message board on www.theknot.com. You can "feel" the excitement most of these brides have planning their weddings.

 

Best of Luck to You!

[monkey1]

Hi, Kim-

 

I think you're super sweet to plan this surprise. And, perhaps your DD and FSIL can get married on the ship in December and she can plan an at-home reception in the Spring, so she gets both the surprise and planning fun :)

 

Had a couple questions that may help all of us help you.

 

* What's your itinerary? If one of your Ports of Call is one where they have to go in person to get the license (e.g., Bahamas) you may be able to surprise her on the cruise and tell her that this is her wedding cruise.

* How many people will be travelling with you?

* How long will your FSIL be in town after the cruise? You could hold a "ceremony" on the ship/port of call, but have them actually get married at the courthouse followign the cruise.

 

Best of luck to you!

 

Traci