Thinking of Eloping

[jeschwartz82]

hi ladies! my fiance and i are having some "issues" related to wedding planning.

 

the long and short of it is his mother, who is catholic, is insistent we get married in the church, and i am jewish. neither he nor i want a religious wedding. we just want something low key and easy. she wants a large wedding here, but doesnt want to contribute - even for the traditional groom's family things like a rehearsal dinner. i pretty much feel like she just wants to spend my money and bully us into a wedding that neither he or i want.

 

my parents have basically offered us the money they would have spent on a wedding in the form of a check/wedding gift so that we could refurnish our house, renovate, or do all those other things you want to do before kids come along. luckily my family is really cool with the idea of us getting married on the cruise we already have booked. it was even my moms suggestion.

 

i called the wedding department today, and we could be married in port canaveral while on our cruise! we have also talked about having a reception or party to celebrate our marriage a few weeks after we get home. maybe rent a ballroom and have a DJ, heavy apps and an open bar - just a fun party event (and much lower cost!)

 

his family will obviously freak out if we choose to go this route.

 

has anyone else faced this kind of a decision? what helped you make up your mind?

[cruiseonthebrain]

hi ladies! my fiance and i are having some "issues" related to wedding planning.

 

the long and short of it is his mother, who is catholic, is insistent we get married in the church, and i am jewish. neither he nor i want a religious wedding. we just want something low key and easy. she wants a large wedding here, but doesnt want to contribute - even for the traditional groom's family things like a rehearsal dinner. i pretty much feel like she just wants to spend my money and bully us into a wedding that neither he or i want.

 

my parents have basically offered us the money they would have spent on a wedding in the form of a check/wedding gift so that we could refurnish our house, renovate, or do all those other things you want to do before kids come along. luckily my family is really cool with the idea of us getting married on the cruise we already have booked. it was even my moms suggestion.

 

i called the wedding department today, and we could be married in port canaveral while on our cruise! we have also talked about having a reception or party to celebrate our marriage a few weeks after we get home. maybe rent a ballroom and have a DJ, heavy apps and an open bar - just a fun party event (and much lower cost!)

 

his family will obviously freak out if we choose to go this route.

 

has anyone else faced this kind of a decision? what helped you make up your mind?

 

 

As long as your DF is fine with it go for the cruise wedding!!! My DH and his family wanted a traditional wedding where his family lives. I think he was 50/50 teetering between the traditional and the cruise. I told him I was fine with traditional wherever he wanted but that he would have to find the venue, plan the colors, etc. etc. He changed his mind pretty darn quick. We had the best cruise wedding in PC. We paid to fly his parents and paid for their hotel for a mini vacation for them (they wouldn't cruise) and that seemed to smooth things over.

[dcdiva]

Well, if you are looking to be convinced that a cruise wedding is a good idea, you have certainly come to the right place. Would any of your family come with you on the cruise, or would it just be the two of you?

 

We have a huge family, but absolutely didn't want a huge wedding. We seriously considered eloping and avoiding the whole thing. But, in the end, we really did want our parents and some close family with us. The cruise wedding was the perfect solution. It was a built in excuse for keeping the guest list small. I know my parents were disapointed that we didn't have a church wedding, but they came around pretty quickly. The fact that they didn't have to plan (or help pay for) a big wedding didn't hurt either. :)

[chrisc71]

I can relate. I grew up in a catholic family and married a Jewish girl. Neither of us religious. Married on ship in NYC and had a reception afterward on the ship. Did this through Royal Caribbean. Pretty sure my parents were not happy about not being married in a church but they never said anything.

 

End of the day. This is your day (and your husband to be;)). Do what you want. You cannot live your life trying to make others happy.

[Herbaltees]

hi ladies! my fiance and i are having some "issues" related to wedding planning.

 

the long and short of it is his mother, who is catholic, is insistent we get married in the church, and i am jewish. neither he nor i want a religious wedding. we just want something low key and easy. she wants a large wedding here, but doesnt want to contribute - even for the traditional groom's family things like a rehearsal dinner. i pretty much feel like she just wants to spend my money and bully us into a wedding that neither he or i want.

 

my parents have basically offered us the money they would have spent on a wedding in the form of a check/wedding gift so that we could refurnish our house, renovate, or do all those other things you want to do before kids come along. luckily my family is really cool with the idea of us getting married on the cruise we already have booked. it was even my moms suggestion.

 

i called the wedding department today, and we could be married in port canaveral while on our cruise! we have also talked about having a reception or party to celebrate our marriage a few weeks after we get home. maybe rent a ballroom and have a DJ, heavy apps and an open bar - just a fun party event (and much lower cost!)

 

his family will obviously freak out if we choose to go this route.

 

has anyone else faced this kind of a decision? what helped you make up your mind?

 

I'm so sorry for the issues you are getting from your future inlaws.

 

Do they understand that you are not Catholic, nor are you even Christian? The thing about a traditional Catholic Wedding is you have to agree to be catholic or at least raise the children as Catholics before they will marry you. There is a minimum 6 months wtg period and you must attend pre cana classes before being married in the traditional way. You would not have to convert, but at least at my church they would really prefer for you to agree to attend services with your family.

 

A compromise would be to "hire" a retired 'catholic' priest who can perform something similar to a religious ceremony in Florida. The marriage would still not be recognized by the archdioceses as

traditional but it would at least ease some of your future in laws concerns.

 

Check out: http://www.rentapriest.com/ for information and priests.

[jeschwartz82]

well, we did it!

 

we will be getting married on the pride while we are in PC on 10/03!!

[Herbaltees]

well, we did it!

 

we will be getting married on the pride while we are in PC on 10/03!!

 

Yipeee!

[RoonilWazlib]

How did this wedding go?? :)

 

My fiance and I have been in a very similar situation, and we decided to elope, just us two, during our cruise in the Mediterranean this coming spring! My parents know and are helping us pay for it. His mother (she has a personality disorder and makes our life hell) does not know and will have a freakout when we get back. But I just don't care! I'm so excited for this cruise/wedding!!!

 

I hope you are happy with the decision you made! I know I am, and we havne't even done it yet.

[nasushorses]

well, we did it!

 

we will be getting married on the pride while we are in PC on 10/03!!

 

 

Am thinking of doing similar but need some info! So was it just the two of you? Do you have to get married while at a port? How did you enjoy it? Expense? We have been together for 12 years and have an 8 year old son who is joining us in our Haven suite on the Jewel in March. We will be in Port Canaveral as one of our stops. Thoughts and thanks!

[jeschwartz82]

the wedding didnt go so great, but that was more related to issues with his crazy mom, not carnival.

 

carnival did a wonderful job with everything - even keeping his family away from me. it was supposed to be the two of us, then the five of us (our parents included) then it turned in to the nine of us (parents + his siblings). they handled all our changes, and even let us change the date/port. we exceeded the number of people by one for the package we bought, and after explaining why we needed to make the changes, they didnt even charge us. they were very sympathetic to our ... "issues". LOL

 

we worked with patty, amanda, and linda from a wedding for you. those women were AMAZING. i cant say enough about how wonderful they were. linda, the officiant, literally ran interference and made sure his family was no where near me. amanda, the day of coordinator, was a life saver. she made sure that his family was entertained after the wedding to allow us time to take pictures and helped to diffuse his mom's near explosion in the chapel right after.

 

pricing is tough ... i want to say that it cost us about $2,000 in total, but I would have to check with my husband.

 

if you have any specific questions, please feel free to email me - jeschwartz82@gmail.com.