bdever Posted April 9, 2014 #51 Share Posted April 9, 2014 ATTENTION: It has now been discovered, at approximately 6:30 PM EST, that the following liquids risk the safety of passengers on board cruise ships: Jack Daniels Brand Whiskey (all variety's) Wild Turkey Brand Whiskey (all variety's) Crown Royal Brand Whiskey (all variety's) Jamison Brand Irish Whiskey Seagram's Brand Rum (all variety's) Bacardi Brand Rum (all variety's) Captain Morgan Brand Rum (all variety's) Jagermeister Jose Cuervo Tequila (all variety's) All brands of Gin As well as all form of the following brands of vodka: Skyy, Absolut, Grey Goose, Stolichnaya, Kru, Svedka, and Smirnoff These liquids, along with other unknown liquids not mentioned on this list, have been known to cause the following when consumed by humans: Slurred Speech Dizzyness Inability to hold bladder functions Decreased maturity levels Increased volume levels Some incidents have also led to intercourse with not-so-desirable women and/or men, thus resulting in massive quantities of shame and regret. Also, in many cases (approximately 97.43% of cases reported), consumption of these liquids have led to extreme entertainment and an unusual feeling of joy and happiness by both the consumer and passers-by. This is a warning to you and a suggestion to AVOID these DANGEROUS, SAFETY RISKING LIQUIDS at ALL COSTS!! Please arm yourself with various fans, steam irons, imitation weapons, and stun guns to fend off anybody offering you these liquids (also known as "Bartenders" and "Wait Staff", among other various names. This message has been brought to you by the CPOCS (Conservative Prudes On-board Cruise Ships), and also your grand mother, who probably told you "That liquor is the Devil's work! Don't touch it!" P.S. - This is a joke. Yes, I ready everything in the recent posts before this, you don't have to point out that there was a comma in between those two statements. Go have a shot and don't get your panties in a wad. LMFAO!!!! ;) Too Perfect!!! I think i need to copy and paste your quote in every discussion thread I come across such as this one!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirebors Posted April 9, 2014 #52 Share Posted April 9, 2014 I'm curious if you would be more likely to get something onboard, say in a shampoo bottle if you carried it on, or if you had it checked? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naomi John Posted April 9, 2014 #53 Share Posted April 9, 2014 I'm curious if you would be more likely to get something onboard, say in a shampoo bottle if you carried it on, or if you had it checked? Carry on. Always carry on sunscreen, shampoo, etc. anything that may appear to be a bottle. Sent from my iPhone using Forums mobile app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glentally Posted April 9, 2014 #54 Share Posted April 9, 2014 Is that some sort of code for two bottles of booze? I'm trying to guess why anyone would need two bottle of mouthwash for a cruise and just can't imagine that kind of bad breath! made me chuckle i have a driver and a salesman that would fit that bill! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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