Gay couple's first cruise ever: Do we have to fear homophobia?

[3DogDay]

I have read in the past of locals asking the tourists (man/man woman/woman, etc.) sometimes agressively if they are siblings, as it is unusual in their customs for two people who aren't married or related to travel and vacation together.

 

This actually happened to my partner and me in St. Kitts. We went on an ATV excursion, which we didn't arrange through the ship. When we stopped to roam around at an old plantation, one of the tour guides asked if we we're brothers. We said no, but knowing the reputation of some of the Caribbean islands, we said that we're just co-workers, which is true because we do work for the same company. Later another tour guide and he began telling us a story about a local gay person who was constantly beaten up and that someone eventually shot him in the back and paralyzed him. They seemed to find the story entertaining and somehow thought that we would find it entertaining as well. There was a very conservative couple from Kentucky on the tour with their college age daughter, and even they reacted as though this was the most awful thing that they had heard. We finished the tour and went right back to the ship. After hearing that story, we're either going to do a ship sponsored excursion or just stay on board for the day if we dock in St. Kitts.

 

As far as onboard, we have never had any problems on any of the cruise lines. The staff has always been very respectful. As far as passengers, on our last cruise we were sat at dinner with a straight couple from New Jersey traveling with their daughter and her boyfriend. They looked like they just stepped out of a Harley ad. At first we were thinking "Uh oh - either they are going to ask to be moved... or we are." We ended up having the best time with them at dinner and we would team up with them in the lounge for music trivia. Like someone mentioned in a previous post, people are there to have fun.

[squeeky336]

Hi all, we're a gay couple (one is Aussie, one German, both in our 30ies) and will go on our first cruise ever on RCI's Allure of the Seas in September. I've seen some reports here and there about single staff members who act discriminating or outright homophobe towards gay couples- is this something we need to fear?

 

It has happened only once or twice since we've been together that we had to have discussions in a hotel about our beds being together and we travel a lot so the last place I want to experience something like this is on our long awaited first every cruise. We've already been told that Jamaica will be the perfect port to stay on the ship (which is probably quite a nice thing to do anyway ;)) but what about staff from a country like this? I am pretty confident that we can tell the occasional homophobe guest where to go in case they can't stand seeing me applying sunscreen to my partner's back but if we get into trouble with any of the staff- what would be the best place to complain, I'm sure RCI wouldn't endorse any such behavior?

 

Any tips or suggestions very much appreciated. And no- we don't have sex in public. But yes- I think it is our very right to hold hands in public even if some of the more conservative-minded fellow cruisers might have an issue with that.

 

I certainly would hope not.. They push the beds together before you ever get on the ship anyway.. unless you are loud (and straight ppl do this to), i would not think if any issues. I would not go to Jamaica in the first place because it is drug infested toilet.. Don't need to be gay not to like that..

 

The staff will care more about how well you tip than your preferences. I feel bad for staff because I know they work for peanuts 7days a week, and are from places where you would not want to be from. It is much easier to be gay in the US and Europe than to be straight in many of the countries the staff come from. Tip them well and be kind to them and you will be fine.. We are a straight M/F couple.. as fellow passenger I would rather sit at dinner with a nice polite gay couple than someone obnoxious who happens to be straight.;)

[squeeky336]

 

This actually happened to my partner and me in St. Kitts. We went on an ATV excursion, which we didn't arrange through the ship. When we stopped to roam around at an old plantation, one of the tour guides asked if we we're brothers. We said no, but knowing the reputation of some of the Caribbean islands, we said that we're just co-workers, which is true because we do work for the same company. Later another tour guide and he began telling us a story about a local gay person who was constantly beaten up and that someone eventually shot him in the back and paralyzed him. They seemed to find the story entertaining and somehow thought that we would find it entertaining as well. There was a very conservative couple from Kentucky on the tour with their college age daughter, and even they reacted as though this was the most awful thing that they had heard. We finished the tour and went right back to the ship. After hearing that story, we're either going to do a ship sponsored excursion or just stay on board for the day if we dock in St. Kitts.

 

As far as onboard, we have never had any problems on any of the cruise lines. The staff has always been very respectful. As far as passengers, on our last cruise we were sat at dinner with a straight couple from New Jersey traveling with their daughter and her boyfriend. They looked like they just stepped out of a Harley ad. At first we were thinking "Uh oh - either they are going to ask to be moved... or we are." We ended up having the best time with them at dinner and we would team up with them in the lounge for music trivia. Like someone mentioned in a previous post, people are there to have fun.

 

OMG.. that sounds awful.. why dont you switch it an Alaskan cruise where this kind f things is illegal.. I be happy to be your table-mates at dinner.

[Typhoon1]

In 2015, the same sex issue is less of a problem. Hotels, like cruise ships, don't even think twice about two men checking into a room with a king size bed.

[squeeky336]

In 2015, the same sex issue is less of a problem. Hotels, like cruise ships, don't even think twice about two men checking into a room with a king size bed.

 

I am sure the cruise ship there will be no problem.. Certainly I would think that nobody with any sense would have sex on a balcony, in or out of port regardless of sexual orientation.. but in reading the thread I think the person that asked this question might have a legitimate fear to think about. Ports in foreign countries are NOT in America or the EU. and neither the US Constitution or EU laws travel with you.

 

Although in the US it has become acceptable for 2 men to hold hands, I would suggest you don't in any port in a 3rd world country. You are only in port for a few hours and I am sure you can enjoy the port without making your sexual preference known to the locals.. Men and women travel together all the time, and it is not necessary to let everyone around you know if you are gay or not gay.

 

This may seem unfair, but I suggest for your safety to be smart. Many injustices happen in the 3rd world, that have nothing to do with sexual orientation.. But it is what you accept when you travel to them. I am female, and I refuse to travel to a country that requires me to cover my face or where a beekeeper suit to walk down the street. But if I did travel to them, I would have no choice or face possible arrest. It is unfair but it is how it is..

 

It is your personal choice of you wish to go to places that are known to gay bash.. I would go to St Thomas, San Juan, Grand Cayman St Martin. These ports are under US, British, French and Dutch Law. You should be protected in them. I would avoid the poor less educated ports, where you do not have many rights to be protected from such violence.

 

Hope you have a nice trip

Edited May 20, 2015 by squeeky336