The not of this demographic cruise to Alaska (Wonder Aug 2015)

[Emperor Norton]

I should probably start by stating I am not in Disneys demographics. I don't have children, I rarely visit the parks and I can't recall the last time I spent money on a Disney branded item (oh wait their California parks in 2010 I think).

 

A family cruise was suggested and the line picked was Disney as IIRC they offered baby sitting/child watching. There would be six of us on this trip. My mother, my aunt, myself and then my brother and sister-in-law and their two urchins. We had two one bedroom concierge cabins. After looking at the finances we probably could have gone on Regent which includes all alcohol, tips and some shore excursions for about the same price. The difference would be in the child care. The shoreside concierge never contacted us so our dining time was in question (we were originally given late and requested a change to early.

 

Finally - if you're looking for an Alaskan cruise and you've never been before I very strongly recommend that you run far far away from this itinerary or anything similar. Three Alaska stops in 7 days? I don't think the world would have ended if Sitka or Victoria were added.

[Emperor Norton]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was get up too early to get to San Francsico for a still too early flight. I checked in via my phone and took advantage of TSA Pre to skip the strip search line. After clearing security I walked down to my gate. Directly behind my gate were the doors and elevator to the American Express Centurion lounge.

 

The lounge is "free" to those who hold a Platinum card or higher. It includes food, wines, beers, cocktails, WiFi and a children's play area. The food was OK but it was too early for the beer and wines. I'd avoid their Bloody Mary like the plague - it was the worst I've had.

 

The first time I availed myself of the lounge it felt over crowded and claustrophobic. At this early hour it most mostly empty which was a nice change.

 

At the appropriate time I boarded my Scarebus A319 to head off to Soviet Canuckistan. After a mostly uneventful flight we landed in Canadia, Vancouver, British Columbia to be more precise. After deplaning we were confronted by a mini museum (nice but the longer you dally there the longer you'll spend in line to clear customs). Customs was a breeze for me as I had filled out my form on the flight (thanks Untied for not giving out pens!) and was familiar with the computer system as it's essentially the same one used for Global Entry. There were more than a few people that were confounded by the system.

 

I had a few hours to kill before the others arrived so I tried to find someplace where I could harness some free energy. Sadly while the Vancouver airport has free WiFi (at times running at ship speeds) they were severely lacking in the functional power outlet department. After finding a haphazard way to get some juice I set out to try the most Canadian of institutions. Tim Hortons. I knew prior to going that just like Starbucks, Tims had specific ordering nomenclature. Guess who forgot to review that? Oh well, one order of a giant coffee with two creams and two sugars later I had my first job related accident. I get paid to break things as it were and I guess I did a number on one of their card readers as it was zeroed as well as the POS terminal it fed into. Oops. After running away from the nice cashier whos day I made more difficult I was finally able to sample the new elixir. It tasted like a nicely roasted coffee. Not too dark, not too light. Perhaps they'd be willing to replace a good chunk of our local Starbucks?

Edited September 10, 2015 by Emperor Norton

[Emperor Norton]

 

After waiting around the airport for several hours the others arrived - late. This was going to set the course for the rest of the trip. It seems that some people don't have a clue when it comes to how much time is needed for air travel (or instead of boarding when required find some food and hang out for the next 20 minutes causing others to get stuck with you). So while part of the group was at the airport about 4 hours early they almost missed the flight.

It seems along the way that one wallet and one bag were lost. The start of the trip was getting better and better. Before grabbing some taxis we asked if they took credit cards. They said yes, but when we arrived at the hotel our drive was irate that we paid via credit card.

The hotel we were staying in was the Pan Pacific. It had great views and was right over the cruise ship terminal so you couldn't get any closer hotel.

 

In the hotel we had a suite with an adjoining room so there was enough room for everyone, and everyone above anklebiter size had a real bed. Dinner was a short walk away in an Italian restaurant named Al Porto. The food was about average and it wasn't crowded.

After dinner it was a short walk back to the hotel to watch the sun set.

[DarthShoppingMaul]

What dates in August were you there? We were travelling as a family in a group of 9 from Aug 17 - 24.

[meatloafsfan]

Great start to the review.

 

Being Canadian myself I am thoroughly indoctrinated by Tim Hortons. The phrase you needed for the coffee was "Extra Large double double".

[Emperor Norton]

What dates in August were you there? We were travelling as a family in a group of 9 from Aug 17 - 24.

 

I was there August 24-31. I was in Vancouver on the 22nd.

[Emperor Norton]

Great start to the review.

 

Being Canadian myself I am thoroughly indoctrinated by Tim Hortons. The phrase you needed for the coffee was "Extra Large double double".

 

Thank you. There is a Tim Hortons in this end of the state but it's about a 45 minute drive on a good day (ditto Smokes Poutine).

[Emperor Norton]

After a nice sleep in the comfortable bed it was time to get up and try the hotel's included buffet. If I knew then what I knew now I would've tried to get the hotel to deliver several gallons of their orange juice to the ship. Now we couldn't have too much at the buffet as we had an early reservation for high tea at the Fairmont. We took a cab from our hotel to the Fairmont (not the waterfront one) and it took all of three or four minutes. Oh well, guess we'll be walking back.

Upon being seated I noticed that there were a few people that didn't meet the dress code. I don't mind adhering to dress codes, but if you're going to have one, please enforce it - otherwise don't bother.

China from the Empress, vanilla panna cotta with fresh berries

Mushroom and goat cheese tart that I think was missing the goat cheese and what was possibly the worst crab cake I've ever had.

[Emperor Norton]

Scones, sweets and sandwiches. Enough so each person got one of each. A long while ago at the Empress these would have been replenished until people gave up eating.

Plain scone and a raisin scone

The sweet sweets. I think the macaroon was my favorite.

Sandwiches, of which the curried chicken was my favorite but I would have liked a bit more heat.

 

 

Mille feuille. The selection was interesting (I've never seen an Ice Wine influenced tea before) but the food and view/surroundings were nowhere near as nice as at the Empress in Victoria or Reids Palace in Funchal.

An interesting sign

It seems along the way there were a few item handling mishaps. My brother "lost" his wallet and one of my sister in law's bags seemed to walk away on its own. After being forced with a cattle prod to check his backpack the "lost" wallet was miraculously found.

 

The story with the missing bag, was like the wallet, going to take the judicious use of a prod, more third party intervention and a shopping spree. Even then it was only partially resolved.

 

So the story starts in YVR. My brother saw the bag go around the carousel but couldn't grab it in time. The bag never made it for a second trip around. At the same time the bag went missing the recording of "please check to make sure the bag you take is actually yours..." was playing. After waiting for a while and not seeing the bag again my mother noticed there was a similar looking bag with an Oceania tag on it.

 

The next day (today on the blog) I noticed there was an area setup for Oceania. It was suggested to my brother that he go speak with them and see if one of their passengers didn't take the wrong bag and realize the error. No go, he wasn't interested. I guess my aunt was, as she went to go speak with the Oceania reps. Two of the reps were essentially useless and required the assistance of a third rep who knew the person to talk to. It seems a person named Nony Mouse was responsible for all the luggage being loaded onto all the ships. My brother begrudgingly went to talk to Nony.

 

Nony was on the ball and called United Airlines at the airport and got the Oceania passenger's name off the bag. With that name in hand he was able to flag the passenger's card on Oceania denying the passenger access to his room until he'd met with someone on the ship to check the possibility of a luggage mix up.

 

When the man tried to enter his room he found himself locked out. After speaking with personnel on the ship it was determined that he had indeed taken my sister in law's bag even though it lacked the Oceania tag and had a visible name tag with a name other than his on it. After taking the wrong bag from the airport the man had gone to his hotel and opened the bag. Inside he found woman's clothing, a few toy buses, a camera and a man's jacket. (It's here that staff began to comment the guy was probably not all there mentally). Instead of calling the airport to report a mixup he tossed out all the woman's clothing, left the jacket and camera in the bag and did not account for the toys. He then put a new tag over the name tag with my sister in law's name.

 

During this time the sister in law is out on a forced shopping spree. Eventually the actual bag was returned and because Nony Mouse had obtained the name of the hotel the man had been staying in we were able to recover a garbage bag of missing clothing.

Edited September 16, 2015 by Emperor Norton

[Emperor Norton]

Along the way to dinner we stopped to try some harbor shots. It was interesting to play with the light.

Perhaps too much golden hour?

 

After wandering around a bit and playing with the light in the Harbor it was time to find some food. A lot of the places seemed to have not only long waits but patrons spilling out all over the place. We finally settled on Tap & Barrel - but had to settle for inside as their Beer Garden had an excessive wait.

 

Inside was like someone's den from the 1960s or 70s. A lot of the books on the shelves were throwbacks (eg: "Modern kids toys" = 196x cowboy/Indian outfits, a book on space made me wonder if we'd made it to the moon yet).

 

They had a number of beers and guest beers on tap (In the future I think I'll take this as a warning sign) and a stereotypical brew pub menu: salad, pizza, burgers (sadly the only way they cooked them was to shoe leather - thanks local laws that cater to the bad!). Aside from the burgers being toast and an underwhelming "Wowie" pizza the place had a nice vibe and seemed like a good place to go.

 

[Emperor Norton]

After dinner it was a lazy stroll for some Gelato (sadly not at the place that seemed to have a long line out the door 24/7) and then back to the hotel.

 

The ship would be berthed here the next morning.

 

Tap & Barrel was around the way from here, but the building itself held several other restaurants and shops (again Pan Pacific has a great location).

 

The view from my room was so bad I left the drapes open at night.

[Emperor Norton]

Good Morning Vie, er Vancouver, sorry, wrong movie.

A final wake up before boarding the cruise. Today was also the last time in a good while that I was going to have decent bacon, sausage, scrambled eggs and orange juice. Oh well. Mice aren't known to be discerning eaters. Shortly after taking this picture and then perhaps a catnap later the Disney Wonder arrived and began to disgorge her 2700 passengers. (view again from my room in the Pan Pacific)

As we were in Concierge level cabins we could board whenever we wanted. Initially people didn't understand my insistence that we take advantage of that and board ASAP rather than later. Even being able to jump lines and the like it took us I think about 40 minutes to board. It was a very odd down/up/down/out/stop/go/up/down/stop go process that made me wonder if someone hadn't designed the pathways after the Konami code. Once through the boarding process people understood why you want to get on that boat early.

 

Again due to the cabins we could enjoy libations and snacks in the Cadillac lounge along Route 66 (the "Adult" basement of the ship) until our rooms were ready. I found it much nicer than fighting my way to and through Beach Blanket or the lineup for Parrot Cay.

After sampling various items on offer and meeting with the Concierge (Rodrigo "call me Rod") it was time to go see the room and get ready for the archaic muster drill were you still have to go out on deck!

At least the baby preservers were amusing.

 

A brief tour of the one bedroom suite showed that something stank in Denmark. The promise of a master bed that split went the way of the Dodo and instead we had a bed that had a very solid single frame. Good thing the common area had both a sofa bed and a Murphy bed. The other suite had the same issue with the bed. Just from the interiors of the two suites this ship needed a drydock. Badly.

[Emperor Norton]

Suite tour.

 

The entrance/exit from the suite. As you face the door closet and drawer space on the left, wee bathroom with Tinkerbell sized shower and more drawers on the right.

The single sink in the wee bathroom

Tinkerbell sized shower

Closet space to the left of the entrance and open door to the adjoining suite.

Initial view of the suite from the short entry hall.

[Emperor Norton]

Suite tour (cont'd)

The "far" side of the main room with table on the right and Murphy bed on the left.

The "entertainment" system. I was expecting a much bigger TV.

Furniture in the master bedroom

The problematic master bed

The 4 wave phones included 2 chargers and one non functional battery.

[Emperor Norton]

Suite tour (cont'd)

Closet off the master bedroom

Master bedroom had double sinks.

Master bath

After what seemed like an overly long muster drill it was time to get topside for the sailaway party. I couldn't handle the boredom and left before the characters appeared. For some reason it didn't seem to get as crowded as in the Caribbean and it seemed to take forever to get the CD out.

[Emperor Norton]

After sail away it was time for dinner. We originally been booked late seating but with the junior woodchucks that wasn't going to happen. I'm not sure if it was Concierge fairy dust or not but when we boarded we had the requested early seating (FWIW the shoreside concierge that was supposed to call us and arrange things didn't contact us via voice, or email, or even snail mail). I had some drink that came out far girlier than expected; the description failed to mention the massively sugared rim. Aside from the appetizers being jokes the unpictured steak was decent.

 

The overly girly drink

Shrimp and lobster combo

I've made better French onion soup

[Emperor Norton]

Perhaps I should put a trigger warning on this review? It wasn't written with rose colored glasses, it will on occasion use tongue in cheek humor and/or sarcasm.

[Emperor Norton]

As I didn't care for the super happy fun time sofa bed (it was a game of try to find a position where something wasn't sticking into you or you weren't riding a spring - I think anyone over 3' would lose).

 

Both the Navigator and the DCL app said that the Beach Blanket Buffet would be open at 0700. Pity they were wrong. The buffet wouldn't open until 0730 and by then there was a large line of angry, hungry and grumpy people. I decided to hold off on photographing the buffet until the savages had been soothed. I did however get shots of the beverage stations outside the buffet. I was surprised that I didn't see anyone wielding a Grotesque Gulp cup as I had in the Caribbean.

 

The self service beverage area outside of Beach Blanket Buffet. I thought that when I was in the Caribbean they had a soft serve dispenser here, but I could possibly be misremembering. They had an assortment of Coke products, coffee and hot chocolate.

 

Some of the other concierge benefits were cocktail parties and "free" coffee/espresso drinks. The Outlook Cafe was always open by the time I got out of bed and was my first stop once outside the room. Normally I don't drink a lot of coffee but for some reason on this cruise I was consuming it by the urn in the mornings. The outlook cafe also could make mixed drinks. The best part of it was - aside from one illiterate twit who ignored the signs - it was an 18+ area. This is also where the nightly Concierge cocktail hours were held. Another benefit via the room.

 

One of the seating wings (one port one starboard)

 

The coffee bar/bar itself, it was normally fairly empty.

 

They had quite the selection of liquor for a coffee bar. It seems they didn't have a standardized setup for it as each day bottles would be in vastly different places.

 

[Emperor Norton]

It seems that either my memory of post Concordia rules is off or Disney is in violation of some safety regulations. I thought you couldn't leave anything in hallways, especially things that can move around if say a ship were to capsize. Also who leaves a partial bottle of sparkling wine out on a ship filled with kids?

 

We were given some magnets to spruce up the door but the metal very quickly started to bend and warp.

 

 

 

This morning we would dine in Palo for brunch. I should have tried to reserve this every day. Far superior to all their other breakfast options.

 

After being seated you are given a nice glass of bubbly or a mimosa.

(Champagne was better than expected)

Edited September 24, 2015 by Emperor Norton

[Emperor Norton]

After a brief time to enjoy your drink you are taken on a tour of both the buffet and cook to order options.

 

 

 

 

[Emperor Norton]

 

 

 

 

 

[Emperor Norton]

 

That's it for the buffet type food. The following dishes were available as cook to order items.

 

 

 

[Emperor Norton]

Ok, note to self: Even though the underwater camera has a food setting leave it behind and use something else. :o

 

I found the chicken Parmigiana to be very good (ditto the risotto it was served atop). The spicy sausage pizza was let down by a somewhat bland sauce, single note cheese and what tasted like a frozen pre-made crust. The egg Benedict was quite good. The tomato-basil soup was ok but could have used a little something extra, roasted tomatoes or a shot of something to spark up the mostly monotone flavor. The chilled strawberry soup reminded me of strawberry Quik minus some of the oily mouth feel. No thanks. The real miss went to the veal that wasn't as tender as it should have been and had so much of an herb added it bordered on a menthol/Eucalyptus flavor. Blech.

 

Post brunch it was time to just wander around, ingest more caffeine and try to catch some Z's on a couch.

 

Starting off:

The prosciutto wasn't bad, but wasn't what you'd get around the SF area either (seemed more like an American style rather than imported from Italy).

 

The prawns were good while my run of bad luck with Bloody Marys would continue (until I returned to the Buena Vista:eek:) The king crab was OK, the Marie Rose sauce was nice and the melon fresh and flavorful.

 

This is the chicken parm served over a bed of risotto. This was probably one of the better if not best dishes on the ship.

 

The spicy sausage pizza. The sausage had a little heat, the cheese was meh, the sauce not assertive enough for a pizza labeled spicy and the crust tasted like a premade just toss and bake bit of cardboard. Pity as the sausage was promising.

 

The tomato soup was about Campbells quality.

Edited September 24, 2015 by Emperor Norton

[Emperor Norton]

Thinned strawberry Quik.

 

The menthol disappointment.

 

The egg Benedict - best eaten here. While you could order this in Parrot Cay it took longer to arrive and was frequently over cooked.

 

Yummy stick anti sister-in-law rolls (er Cinnamon Rolls)

 

 

Another concierge perk were the canapes. Sadly if you didn't finish them the remainder was left in your room.

[Emperor Norton]

Dinner tonight would be the full show in Animators Pallette as it would be the first visit. I read in shock on Cruise Critic that some people wouldn't sail around Halloween as they were afraid that their children would be scared of the tree and character costumes. I was surprised when my nephews had to be removed from the show (I guess it was too loud for the 2.5 year old and the 7 month old, who knows).

 

I knew going in that I was going to have to pay for liquor. What I didn't realize was that it appears Disney makes short pour drinks. I somehow wound up with what was supposed to be a double dirty martini with three olives made with Hendricks Gin. I didn't bring a measure with me but I don't think there was enough room in that glass for two full measures of gin, plus a wee bit of vermouth plus the olive juice plus the olives. If for whatever reason I find myself back on Disney I will bring measuring equipment as something didn't add up. Flavor was also on the "where's the gin" side. I should have used the old Bombay Sapphire test. The Bombay Sapphire test is simply ordering whatever drink with Bombay Sapphire. As the Sapphire has a very unique flavor profile it's nigh impossible to fake. If a drink had some other gin it would be noticeable. If the drink had been watered down at all, again it would be easy to tell.

 

What was purported to be a double Hendricks dirty gin Martini

 

Prosciutto and tapenade on bread. The prosciutto was the same as in Palos and the tapenade could've used the inclusion of green olives.

 

Pasta purses filled with truffles IIRC. They were good. The downside was the bowl was too large for its contents.

 

The soup today was nice, I can't remember what kind only that it was good and not nearly as salty as the soup served on the first night.

 

What was called a fatty filet. The steak was cooked perfectly blue and was nice aside from the odd name and odd amount of fat for a filet (the name was pre-warning however).

 

Mouse caught mid-spell