Leaving the kids at home

[aaronlisa]

Hi, I was wondering how many people cruise and leave the kids at home? Specifically toddlers. We are considering going on a cruise for our fifth anniversary and my wife is afraid that she won't be able to leave the kids for an entire week. At the time of the cruise our oldest will be 4 and our youngest would be just over a year old. I told my wife that she would be fine and the kids would most likely be camping with her mother for the week and having a good time. What does everyone else think???

[Sue L]

I have left my kids with Grandma several times and believe me you will ALL survive!!!! Mine are now 18 and 20 and both wonderful kids.

 

Tell her it is a great way for you two not only to celebrate your anniversary but it is a great way to renew your relationship.!!!

[ldeflavia]

My husband and I took our last cruise two years ago and left our then 2 year old with her grandparents. She spent 1/2 of the week with DH's parents and the other 1/2 with my parents. She had a great time with them. It was a vacation for her. It was hard for me to leave her that 1st day but I got over it really quick. We called home a couple of times to check in with everyone and that helped alot. Our daughter was too busy most of the time playing to come to the phone and talk us! We went with a group of 6 couples and two of the other couples also left the kids at home.

 

Since that worked so well, we just booked another cruise for June 2007 without the kids. Then we will be leaving a 5 year old and 2 year old behind. They will have their own vacation with the grandparents again. Again we're going with a group of 7 couples and 6 of them will be going without kids.

 

Go and have fun!!! It's a great way to spend major quality time with your spouse!!

[zuscruiserz]

I TOTALLY agree with Sue and Ideflavia! Make time for your spouse now (and continue to do so) and your relationship will be that much stronger in the future. ;)

[TheWog]

We left him home for our Enchantment cruise and decided we won't do it again. We want him to enjoy it just as much as we do.

[CanadianFanatic]

Hi, I was wondering how many people cruise and leave the kids at home? Specifically toddlers. We are considering going on a cruise for our fifth anniversary and my wife is afraid that she won't be able to leave the kids for an entire week. At the time of the cruise our oldest will be 4 and our youngest would be just over a year old. I told my wife that she would be fine and the kids would most likely be camping with her mother for the week and having a good time. What does everyone else think???

 

Well they are definitely a bit young to leave at home (alone) ;).

 

My wife and I went on our first cruise this past January and left our 2 little ones with Grandma at our place, who are both around the same age as you're little ones. It was tough, a sad morning leaving, but once you get on the ship, and contact home each night if you wish, you will really enjoy yourself and won't regret it.

 

Just do it, you will be glad you did! :cool:

[DukeFamily]

If it were me, and my decision to make, I'd leave the little ones home with a beloved (and trusted) grandparent. But that's just me! On a cruise I want to take full advantage of the experience - lounging by the pool with a big ol' boat drink, fun shore excursions, staying up late if I want and dancing to a live band, long yummy dinners (that I didn't have to cook or cleanup after :rolleyes: ) and chatting with new friends......I wouldn't be able to enjoy ANY of these things with little ones in tow.

[CanadianFanatic]

If it were me, and my decision to make, I'd leave the little ones home with a beloved (and trusted) grandparent. But that's just me! On a cruise I want to take full advantage of the experience - lounging by the pool with a big ol' boat drink, fun shore excursions, staying up late if I want and dancing to a live band, long yummy dinners (that I didn't have to cook or cleanup after :rolleyes: ) and chatting with new friends......I wouldn't be able to enjoy ANY of these things with little ones in tow.

 

Agreed! :D

[Darcy03231]

Left them home with Grandma & Grandpa when they were young (about the same ages as yours) and still leave them home occasionally (now ages 12-22). Our upcoming cruise is just DH and I. We taken one family vacation a year and one with just DH & I. Has worked out great for over 10 years. The kids love going to Grandma's house. When they were little I'd pack small gifts for them for Grandma to dole out during the week. I'd also get some new movies so they'd have something different to hold their attention if the weather was bad and they couldn't go outside. I'd call home a few times to check in, but not talk to them - out of sight, out of mind. I thought if they heard me it might make them upset.

[Clarkk W Griswald]

You'll be able to relax and enjoy your anniversary more without them along. Not only will it be fun for your kids to go camping with their Grandma, she'll get to enjoy special time with her grandkids. I've seen too many stressed parents of little ones on a cruise. And really, I've NEVER heard of little kids that got traumatized (sp?) because their parents went on a vacation without them! Although I've seen traumatized parents who brought their kids along!!

[lyndamarie6]

We have ALWAYS taken the kids with us, we never dreamed of leaving them out no matter what their age was and my relationship is just as strong, it never weakened. A vacation alone with your spouse is not going to make the relationship stronger.

 

We have taken our kids on vacations since my eldest was 5 years of age making our youngest 3 at that time. On a cruise, they have children's activities which they will enjoy. There are so much for them to do, arts and crafts, movies, computer games, kid parties, a gameroom to name a few things. They will enjoy a cruise and them having fun at the kids area will enable you and your husband to enjoy and go dancing, or to the casino or whatever you can't do when you have the kids around. There is babysitting where they have slumber parties and show the kids movies at night so you two can have night time together. But I always felt your a family so act as a family and eat together and spend some time together. They grow up so fast, my son is 17 now next year he will be in college, time really flies by so fast, but I always can say I always included my kids on vacations and enjoyed being with them. The past few days since they are teens we always got them their own room, if you really want your own room, you can put the children in a joining room, its just an idea. My husband and I when the kids were younger we took turns checking on the kids as they had their own room to share, it worked out, they locked the door and we checked on them and they were safe. :)

 

Now that I look back, it was fun going away on vacations with the kids and a cruise allows you two to have alone time and the kids would have their own fun and be watched carefully.

 

In my opinion, they are young and your wife will probably miss them and think of them if you two went away without them....grandparents are great as my parents watched the kids overnight or a weekened, but I was always around closely just in case of an emergency, I just feel 7 nights may be too long for the kids and your wife away from them since its the first time your considering this.

 

Also, if you do decide to have the grandparents watch the children, do write a letter giving them authorization to make medical decisions just in case of an emergency!!

[azjacque]

Alone time (not for just short periods of time) definitely makes my relationship stronger with my DH. Everyday we are doing things for our three kids. I do not feel guilty for leaving them this November for our 10 year anniversary. We deserve it!!! I can't wait to be alone for a week with my DH and not have to worry too much about the kids at home (they will be with g'ma).

 

OP - you and your DW should do whatever YOU feel comfortable doing.

[lagbunch8]

. A vacation alone with your spouse is not going to make the relationship stronger.

 

 

 

Just a question but, how would you know that if you have never done it?;)

 

My husband and I never even did an overnight away from the kids for 10 years. Then we came to our senses and took our first cruise--just the two of us for 7 days. Fantastic! As a SAHM of six it was heaven for me. We now take alone trips every other year. Don't feel guilty about having some alone time. It is good for you and your kids.

[vickiw0318]

Go! My kids treasure the times they had alone with Grandma. Don't think of the trip for just the two of you as leaving the kids. Think of it as a special time for them and a special time for you.

 

When my parents had to go on trips, they would leave a surprise packet for each day they were gone. These did not include new bicycles or the likes, just a new coloring book or something else inexpensive that was fun. Waiting to see the what the day's surprise was was half the fun.

[GeoHack]

We've tried to take two vacations from the kids - a 4 day Los Cabos (Kids 3 and 4) and a 3 day Vegas (Kids 9 and 10). We didn't have a good time on either one because we kept wishing the kids were there. We just have a better time with the kids there, but that may just be our family.

[lyndamarie6]

Lagbunch8: I know because my relationship with my husband is strong and loving and fun and I couldn't think of a better marriage than what I have with him. Ron and I are two peas in a pot I guess that helps. :)

I just am different, I had kids to be with them and my husband as a family, surely we spend evenings together alone and such but we come back home to our family each night and take our trips together. If the OP feels that they need time alone then by all means have the grandparents watch them, after all, more than half of marriages today end up in divorce. Years ago divorce was not as a high rate, perhaps what people are doing today is causing marriages to diminish I don't know its something I wonder about??? For ME, the way I see things when my kids are out on their own I know in my heart I gave them everything I could, including great vacations and cruises. We are all different, its not that one of us are wrong and the other is right, different situations for everybody

 

Vickiw0318- If the OP decides not to bring their children I love the idea of surprise packets!

 

Geohack- I am with you all the way!! :) :)

[andnickali]

Alone time (not for just short periods of time) definitely makes my relationship stronger with my DH. Everyday we are doing things for our three kids. I do not feel guilty for leaving them this November for our 10 year anniversary. We deserve it!!! I can't wait to be alone for a week with my DH and not have to worry too much about the kids at home (they will be with g'ma).

 

OP - you and your DW should do whatever YOU feel comfortable doing.

 

I agree 100%. We started taking adut only cruises when my daughter was 2 1/2 and boys were 6 and 8. I have a wonderful family friend- my daughter's Godmother (more like a grandmother) that stays at our house with the kids. Since she has no grandchildren she loves to spoil them and cart them around to places like Chuckie Cheese (which we as parents hate!:D )

 

Since that first cruise we have gone every year. This last trip was for 9 days and I was ready to come home and see the kids- did I miss them- yes, would I do it again- yes.

 

Being a full-time mother, employee, wife and grad student I find myself counting down the days until I can be the one on the receiving end of the deal! 358 days a year I cater to everybody else, 7 days a year I cater to me and my husband.

 

Just go, your children will be there when you return- waiting for you to feed them, wipe their nose and help with homework- enjoy the down time.

[dscomp]

My husband and I have taken vacations without the kids since our youngest was 2 1/2. He gets to stay with grandma and gets to be away from the day to day rules of mom and dad. We have taken 2 cruises in the last 2 years without the kids and would not do anything different. This year we did decide to take the youngest he's 11-the other kids are all older and out of high school.

 

There is nothing wrong with taking vacations without the kids it lets the grownups be grownups for a while;)

[frudutx]

We take vacations with the kids and without the kids have for years. Of course the kids are now 21 and 34. They now talk about how they spent a week with Grandma and Grandpa in the summer of xxxx, I'm at that age where I can't remember what I did that summer but, they do! Their grandparents are gone now. I don't ever regret letting them spend time with their Grandparents while DH and I spent time by ourselves. Could they have had a good time with us, maybe. But they have memories I'll never be able to take away from them. And we're still building new ones every year. Next cruise, on Rhapsody, is our yearly family vacation.

 

d

[KarinaGW]

Not for a cruise, but Grandma came down and watch my 3 and 4 year olds while DH and I went to England for a week. Except for forgetting to tell my mom about the hamster, it all went well.

 

I would actually feel worse about leaving older kids (we won't talk about those same 2 15 years later who are in college during my Sept. cruise) because they know what they're missing.

[crusinmama06]

Remember though, your wife thinks that she wouldn't be able to relax without the kids. So maybe she isn't one that could leave the kids and have a great time?

 

I am with her, I couldn't do it either. :)

[andnickali]

(we won't talk about those same 2 15 years later who are in college during my Sept. cruise) because they know what they're missing.

 

 

SOOOOOO right. We took the kids on their first cruise in January and then when we were ready to leave in May all three of them were packing their bags to be stow-aways. Prior to them going on a cruise they never concerned themselves with what they were missing while we were gone- now that is a different story.

[crusinmama06]

Prior to them going on a cruise they never concerned themselves with what they were missing while we were gone- now that is a different story.

 

True! My 7 year old would try to divorce me if she realized I was on a cruise while she was at Grandma's :D. She LOVES the kids clubs.

[zuscruiserz]

On a cruise, they have children's activities which they will enjoy. There are so much for them to do, arts and crafts, movies, computer games, kid parties, a gameroom to name a few things. They will enjoy a cruise and them having fun at the kids area will enable you and your husband to enjoy and go dancing, or to the casino or whatever you can't do when you have the kids around. There is babysitting where they have slumber parties and show the kids movies at night so you two can have night time together.

 

My husband and I when the kids were younger we took turns checking on the kids as they had their own room to share, it worked out, they locked the door and we checked on them and they were safe. :)

 

Now that I look back, it was fun going away on vacations with the kids and a cruise allows you two to have alone time and the kids would have their own fun and be watched carefully.

 

These are a couple of things the OP CANNOT do:

 

1) Leave the youngest at Adventure Ocean (he/she is 1) while the parents have alone time. They might be able to get an in-room babysitter for a cost.

 

2) Let them have their own room (they are only 1 and 4). This is totally unsafe even if you continually check on them. Doesn't sound like a refreshing vacation to me ;) .

 

I say - take that vacation and let DGP (dear grandparents) dote on the darlings for a little while. They may just be waiting for this very opportunity to have their grandchildren all to themselves! Kids do grow up, but their grandparents will eventually grow old, and what memories they all will have.

[sgttami]

My son is now married and 28 but I did both over the years. I don't care how much you love your kids and want them with you sometimes grownups need to be grownups...I was fortunate to have parents that couldn't wait to take my son for a week.

 

Everyone needs a change. My sister and I do "girls only" trips now that are children are grown. We leave the husbands home once or twice a year and do a cruise or long weekend....it's called "Preserving mental health!!!"

 

I also think it's good for the kids to have a break from the parents. It does make them a bit more independent....