Sending 11 year old on shore excursion from Carnival

[tarbashchaputi]

Let me clarify - I did not get a chance to edit my post -

I do NOT think it is ok for Gram to let an 11 year old off the ship ALONE. She was looking for ways that he could go on an excursion without her going. And children do fly across country and even to/from foreign countries by themselves when being shuttled from one parent to another or to camp or whatever.

 

Gram asked if you can hire a crew member. Seem like a reasonable thought. After all, theoretically, the cruise line knows who they have hired. If they are ok to be around the kids in the kids club, they are ok to babysit (and, if I understand other posts correctly) they do offer in room babysitting, done by cruise staff. Since the staff is not allowed to go off the ship as a babysitter, it seems reasonable to ask whether she can have GS go with another family. Don't you send your kids on trips with other families, maybe even with parents you haven't really met much? I've been a last minute chaperone on trips where parents don't even know me.

 

Maybe it's the areas and people we are used to... in NYC, it is not uncommon to see kids of that age on the subway by themselves, or on the streets walking/skating/biking to all sorts of activities.

 

And just so you don't think me naive to the dangers of the world - a friend's daughter (age 19) was violently abducted, raped and murdered. Whenever he is up for parole, we write letters to the parole board, reminding them of the violence this man inflicted and that he will never be "cured" that he will never be "safe" to put into the public life again. I know the world is not Candyland. But I also know that it IS a great place to explore.

 

I'm not calling you naive, i'm just stating that you are comparing apples to oranges here. Playing, riding buses, riding subways, etc in NYC is a lot different than wondering the streets of say, Belize City. Kids in my region do the same thing they do in NYC, but that doesn't make them "competent" to handle what may arise in a non-english speaking locale. I realize fully that you are not advocating for him to go off on his own.

 

You do however, say that you think it would be okay for him to go off with a family onboard the ship that the grandmother didn't know as you have done this with kids from the school that your children attend. Once again, this is apples to oranges. That is a sanctioned event, hosted by the school. You are the parent of another child in the class. I would never send my kids off with some person(s) I had just met in a foriegn country or a cruise ship. If the camp carnival allowed for this sort of thing, or offered this type of activity, perhaps I would consider it, but not likely. My kids go to school, ride the bus, but my wife and I (or alternates) are immediately reachable should things go wrong. Should things go wrong in some foreign port, many of which are dangerous locales, you would be SOL. It's pretty damned difficult to call your cell phone when you are 2000 miles away from the nearest Verizon Tower.

[truecruiser]

My goodness but you people are such worry worts!

Perhaps CPS should come knocking at my door. The kids have been running around town by themselve since they were 10 - they take their bikes to the lake and swim, they walk to school (over the railroad tracks) and back everyday, they "roam" the neighborhood checking to see what their friends are up to, they find pickup games at teh park and the school, they walk/run/skate to the firehouse to visit their Dad when he is working, they go over to the library to walk home with Mom after work. The boys have both have had great opportuniteis to go off the scout camp and summer bike trips (with groups) by themselves, the girls aren't interested in that type of thing yet.

 

Yes, at 11 and 12 they go to the movies by themselves (dropped off by an adult). They know the "rules" they know what theya re allowed to see and they behave themselves - they actually do. At 10 they have been "mothers' helpers," watching other peoples kids while the parent is busy elsewhere in the house. By 12, 13 they have taken care of other peoples kids by themselves.

 

Yes, the world can be a very scary place. Yes, people do get hurt, they go missing, there are BAD people out there. But not as often as the new people want you to think. What are you going to do? Lock your children in cages until they are 18 and then hope they can take care of themselves?

 

You GO Gramma! Ya wanna adopt me???

\

 

WOW! What a post. I cldn't even read on before replying. I don't know where it is that you live, but this stuff happens everywhere -- it can get you just as easily even if you're in a samll town. i personally think that you are out of your mind.

 

You are right in your sarcasm about CPS. I don't think CPS will "come-a-knockin'" because youlet your kids go off soooo often by themselves. But, what'll you do if the cops come knockin' to tell you they have found your child harmed? Or, what'll you do if they don't come home one night? I can't believe that truly meant all that you wrote literlally. You must exercise some caution w/ your children, don't you?

[grenny4031]

Some friends were on a cruise and they took a shipboard excursion. Went to a beach resort where all drinks were covered. Adults given one color armbands, underage children another. 3 girls with one of the girls parents got the wrong armbands. On the way back on the bus. The two girls were that did not belong to the couple were very drunk. Puking all over the bus. Parents made it clear they weren't their child. Bet those 2 girls parents thought they were safe with their best friends mom and dad. These girls were 14 or 15.:mad:

NOW...what happens to an 11 y/o? NO! I do not trust anyone to take my child or grandchild off somewhere like that without me. Texas is a heck of a lot bigger than NYC.

[angelkisses]

The kids have been running around town by themselve since they were 10 - they take their bikes to the lake and swim

 

I never considered myself a worry wart mom until this thread got started ... but by gosh I know now that I am. MY NAME IS ROBIN .. AND I AM PROUD TO BE A WORRY WART!!!! Do people actually allow their 10 year old child to ride a bike to a lake and go swimmng? Did I read that correctly ... swimming in a lake .... unsupervised .... TOTALLY UNBELIEVABLE!!! I would rather be a worry wart that a nieve and irresponsible mom.

[tarbashchaputi]

I never considered myself a worry wart mom until this thread got started ... but by gosh I know now that I am. MY NAME IS ROBIN .. AND I AM PROUD TO BE A WORRY WART!!!! Do people actually allow their 10 year old child to ride a bike to a lake and go swimmng? Did I read that correctly ... swimming in a lake .... unsupervised .... TOTALLY UNBELIEVABLE!!! I would rather be a worry wart that a nieve and irresponsible mom.

 

Yeah...

 

Imagine that.

[45014]

After reading all the posts here, I really have to question the reason why this grandma is taking the 11 year old on a cruise and then intends to not participate in the going's on. As I said before, I don't think that I would let this grandma take him to a grocery store, to wander around by himself, let alone a cruise ship.

Call me an overprotective mother, but I raised 2 children into fine productive adults. My daughter is now a mother and says she knows why I always kept them close and knowing where they were.

An 11 year old in a foreign country, with no supervision, is a disaster waiting to happen.

[sunlover5]

I have grown children now, and one grandson. I think I worry more now as a grandma than before. Anyways, Just think before you let them go off in a foreign country or anywhere in the US. Not like when we were kids, the world is a different place now. Also, IF something did happen, you would have to live with it the rest of your life.

Problem solved. I am an active woman, I will go with your grandson!!!!!:D

Maybe you could compromise. Tour a few islands together and let him pick one excursion he really wants to do. Bite the bullet and go along just to watch him. Having those memories would be great!! Have a great time together!!

[jckvpa0]

I never considered myself a worry wart mom until this thread got started ... but by gosh I know now that I am. MY NAME IS ROBIN .. AND I AM PROUD TO BE A WORRY WART!!!! Do people actually allow their 10 year old child to ride a bike to a lake and go swimmng? Did I read that correctly ... swimming in a lake .... unsupervised .... TOTALLY UNBELIEVABLE!!! I would rather be a worry wart that a nieve and irresponsible mom.

 

I hear you! When my son was five his swim instructor told me she had never advanced such a young child to such a high swim level, he was a level five. That being said, we have a pool, & are a stones throw from the ocean. Was he allowed at age 10 to go to the beach or in the pool unsupervised, absolutely not ! Do I think of myself as overprotective, no ! What ever happened to plane old common sense!!!

 

By the way, that five yro boy turns 18 today:( !

[Moeve]

I agree with you all on the part about going ashore - that isnt anything any parent etc should even consider VL included!! HOWEVER I do think some of you are not being entirely honest with yourselves about children moving around the confines of the ship during day time hours or in your home town for that matter. That is certainly not more dangerous than the everyday walk to school. If you are honest with yourselves YOUR own children were not under your supervision 24 hour of the day at that age and if you believe so well then you are lying to yourselves. At that age children ride bikes, have friends in the neighbourhood they play with etc and you are NOT telling me that you supervise your child 24 hours a day and they are not out of your sight for one minute!!!

 

This isn't a critic on your concern for your children but rather on the way you jump on everyone who is willing to give VL a little leeway. Please note NOT A SINGLE Poster has sugessted VL let her GS go a shore on his own. Which I hope she has understood. However I think many of you have been very unreasonable with your fellow posters when it concerned moving around the ship during day time hours. The fact remains children move around all ships alone safely everyday of the year - why should VL not give her GS alittle bit of space onboard if he is willing to adhear to certain rules?

[grenny4031]

I agree with you all on the part about going ashore - that isnt anything any parent etc should even consider VL included!! HOWEVER I do think some of you are not being entirely honest with yourselves about children moving around the confines of the ship during day time hours or in your home town for that matter. That is certainly not more dangerous than the everyday walk to school. If you are honest with yourselves YOUR own children were not under your supervision 24 hour of the day at that age and if you believe so well then you are lying to yourselves. At that age children ride bikes, have friends in the neighbourhood they play with etc and you are NOT telling me that you supervise your child 24 hours a day and they are not out of your sight for one minute!!!

 

This isn't a critic on your concern for your children but rather on the way you jump on everyone who is willing to give VL a little leeway. Please note NOT A SINGLE Poster has sugessted VL let her GS go a shore on his own. Which I hope she has understood. However I think many of you have been very unreasonable with your fellow posters when it concerned moving around the ship during day time hours. The fact remains children move around all ships alone safely everyday of the year - why should VL not give her GS alittle bit of space onboard if he is willing to adhear to certain rules?

 

:rolleyes: I am not fooling myself. I know that I did not watch my children 24 hours a day. I also know that my daughters were able to do more than my GS is and will be able to do safely. After all, when I was a kid we did not always lock our doors. And I roamed the neighborhood too. My daughters had locked doors and their "neighborhood" they were allowed to roam was smaller. My GS "neighborhood" pretty much entails the front and back yard and 1 friends house 2 doors down. With someone at the front door of both apts. watching him.

That said, this is a critic of VL. If she is willing to let her GS go off ship with someone she does not know or by himself, what makes you think she is going to set up guidelines for him on the ship? She is going to be too busy doing what she likes to do. Such as dancing all night and bouncing off the walls. I still would not let my GS go off with her anywhere. I hope his parents are better parents than VL appears to be a GM. IF she were reliable and appeared to have his concern at heart, then yes, he is old enuff to obey rules with a walkie talkie and frequent checks. But it only takes a minute for someone to grab a child now days. You have to check up on them, you have to enforce rules, and most of all you need to enjoy the vacation together.

[GoinCruisin]

I think some parents/grandparents are just naive. The world isn't always a pretty place anymore... just the other day I pulled into a shopping center, noticed the car beside me was running... keys in the car, door unlocked, in a busy shopping center... in the car was a baby in a car seat and a toddler... ok, thinking she has just run in and running back out (which still freaks me out), but I went into Hallmark, came back out 15 minutes later... and yup, car still there, car still running... no parent. Do you know how long it takes for someone to jump in the car and take off?? I don't consider myself a paranoid person, but during the busy holiday season, to leave your babies in a running unlocked car, for more than 20 minutes??? It just seems like begging to have your kids taken :(

[jckvpa0]

I think some parents/grandparents are just naive. The world isn't always a pretty place anymore... just the other day I pulled into a shopping center, noticed the car beside me was running... keys in the car, door unlocked, in a busy shopping center... in the car was a baby in a car seat and a toddler... ok, thinking she has just run in and running back out (which still freaks me out), but I went into Hallmark, came back out 15 minutes later... and yup, car still there, car still running... no parent. Do you know how long it takes for someone to jump in the car and take off?? I don't consider myself a paranoid person, but during the busy holiday season, to leave your babies in a running unlocked car, for more than 20 minutes??? It just seems like begging to have your kids taken :(

 

Wow, I swear parents should have to pass a test before their allowed to leave the hospital with their babies.

 

Unfortunately last week there was a story in the news,(not sure where), where a small child was left in a running car & yes the worse thing that could possibly happen did & now that parent has to live with this.

[tarbashchaputi]

Had I seen that I would have been on the phone to the police. That is totally unacceptable.

[Kittybork]

I think some parents/grandparents are just naive. The world isn't always a pretty place anymore... just the other day I pulled into a shopping center, noticed the car beside me was running... keys in the car, door unlocked, in a busy shopping center... in the car was a baby in a car seat and a toddler... ok, thinking she has just run in and running back out (which still freaks me out), but I went into Hallmark, came back out 15 minutes later... and yup, car still there, car still running... no parent. Do you know how long it takes for someone to jump in the car and take off?? I don't consider myself a paranoid person, but during the busy holiday season, to leave your babies in a running unlocked car, for more than 20 minutes??? It just seems like begging to have your kids taken :(

 

I would have called the police. - People go to jail for leaving pets in the car!

[KimtheCruiser]

On our first cruise, I let my 11yo go on an excursion without me - circumstances were a little different. This was on the Big Red Boat, and the cruise staff operated some of the excursions. My son really wanted to go snorkeling, and I don't even swim well (mostly dogpaddle). I talked to the Cruise Director about the situation - their policy was 10 and up could go on the excursions without a parent. They all left the ship together in Port Lucaya - and I met the snorkeling boat when they returned.

 

I did let him roam the ship - after the first day of watching how the crew kept the kids out of the casino and other restricted spaces. Things may be different on Carnival, but on the Big Red Boat, you did not have to sign them in and out of the kids activities if they were over the age of 8. So, I pretty much let him roam - he had to check in with me at mealtimes and for assorted other activities we agreed on, but he did not have to stay with me.

 

Now, he's 19, almost 20, and we're going on another cruise next week. He's asked if he can go to Cozumel by himself. I hesitated, but this kid has been to Europe on school trips and has been allowed to hang out with friends in Paris, Frankfurt, Bern....

 

Now, I'm not as easy with my 14yo stepson - he has not had the freedom my son has and has not shown the responsibility my son has. He will still get a little freedom on our cruise next week, but he won't be going on any shore excursions by himself.

[GoinCruisin]

Had I seen that I would have been on the phone to the police. That is totally unacceptable.

 

I wish I would have had my phone with me!!! Thinking I would just run up and get some tea lights... I did stay until the mother returned, and I REALLY should have said something to her... instead I just rolled my eyes at her and said something to the effect that she was an idiot :p

[LittleBit]

I agree with you all on the part about going ashore - that isnt anything any parent etc should even consider VL included!! HOWEVER I do think some of you are not being entirely honest with yourselves about children moving around the confines of the ship during day time hours or in your home town for that matter. That is certainly not more dangerous than the everyday walk to school. If you are honest with yourselves YOUR own children were not under your supervision 24 hour of the day at that age and if you believe so well then you are lying to yourselves. At that age children ride bikes, have friends in the neighbourhood they play with etc and you are NOT telling me that you supervise your child 24 hours a day and they are not out of your sight for one minute!!!

 

This isn't a critic on your concern for your children but rather on the way you jump on everyone who is willing to give VL a little leeway. Please note NOT A SINGLE Poster has sugessted VL let her GS go a shore on his own. Which I hope she has understood. However I think many of you have been very unreasonable with your fellow posters when it concerned moving around the ship during day time hours. The fact remains children move around all ships alone safely everyday of the year - why should VL not give her GS alittle bit of space onboard if he is willing to adhear to certain rules?

 

 

thansk - I think this is wahat I was trying to say... everyone here was jumping all over the OP for trying to find a way NOT to send her GS out all alone. Everyone jumped in with there holier than thou thoughts and how supervised their kids are, when really, they are not...

 

 

And for all those concerned about children who are left alone (like the example above) why haven't you called security/cops? I have gotten security when I see an unattended child of any age in a car, or even just hanging out outside of the building and then I stick around to make sure the situatoin is taken care of. Had some nasty parents,, but I felt it wasn't safe to leave the situation

 

As for everyone in NYC speaking English - really?? Have you visited our lovely little town lately? Do you know how amny languages are spoken here??? It can be hard to find someone fluent in English sometimes! (and perhaps her grandchild IS fluent in Spanish or some other language, really, you don't know)

[GoinCruisin]

As for everyone in NYC speaking English - really?? Have you visited our lovely little town lately? Do you know how amny languages are spoken here??? It can be hard to find someone fluent in English sometimes! (and perhaps her grandchild IS fluent in Spanish or some other language, really, you don't know)

 

Did you actually read what I said??? Here it is: In NYC, most people speak English... the 11 year old would know a number to call, etc.

 

I did not say everyone, but MOST people have a general idea how to speak some sort of English... at least everyone I have encountered, which has been quite a bit.

 

You are right, I don't know... I know nothing about this woman. Sure, perhaps he does know Spanish, perhaps he is actually Superman or the Hulk living in an 11 year old body... you are so right. And of course if he knows Spanish, all the worries are solved!!! If he knows Spanish, he can't be harmed!! Let the 11 year old do and go wherever he wants!!! Perfect advice, because of course it is absolutely the same as letting him loose in NYC...

[5668200]

We were at a grocery store, next to our car was a car with three children, the oldest was about 9, one about 3 and a baby in an infant seat. The windows were down. We went into the store and stood by the doors watching if a mom/dad would come out and get in the car. We waited 15 minutes. I then called the police. One arrived shortly after my call, he came into the store and asked us where the car was. He parked behind the car and stood there until the mom finally arrived - 35 minutes later! At that point we went on with our shopping. He found us in the grocery store and told us, though it was careless on the mom's part, a 9 year old could be left on their own for 2 hours, legally! (We live in MN) He said it wasn't smart leaving the 9 yr old with two younger siblings, but he just gave the mom a warning. I couldn't believe it - but it happened!

[GoinCruisin]

We were at a grocery store, next to our car was a car with three children, the oldest was about 9, one about 3 and a baby in an infant seat. The windows were down. We went into the store and stood by the doors watching if a mom/dad would come out and get in the car. We waited 15 minutes. I then called the police. One arrived shortly after my call, he came into the store and asked us where the car was. He parked behind the car and stood there until the mom finally arrived - 35 minutes later! At that point we went on with our shopping. He found us in the grocery store and told us, though it was careless on the mom's part, a 9 year old could be left on their own for 2 hours, legally! (We live in MN) He said it wasn't smart leaving the 9 yr old with two younger siblings, but he just gave the mom a warning. I couldn't believe it - but it happened!

 

Good for you!! Maybe they learned!!! Probably not, sadly :(

 

I wish I would have had my cell with me, I would have called... and should have just gone in and used the phone in the store... this woman would have learned a serious lesson, as neither child in the car looked to be over 2 yo :( I just can't believe how stupid people are these days!!!!!

[lynyrd]

I think some parents/grandparents are just naive. The world isn't always a pretty place anymore... just the other day I pulled into a shopping center, noticed the car beside me was running... keys in the car, door unlocked, in a busy shopping center... in the car was a baby in a car seat and a toddler... ok, thinking she has just run in and running back out (which still freaks me out), but I went into Hallmark, came back out 15 minutes later... and yup, car still there, car still running... no parent. Do you know how long it takes for someone to jump in the car and take off?? I don't consider myself a paranoid person, but during the busy holiday season, to leave your babies in a running unlocked car, for more than 20 minutes??? It just seems like begging to have your kids taken :(

 

Something just like that happened a few months ago at work. A customer came into the store and told the gal that worked th e service desk that a baby was left alone in a car and was crying. By that time another customer stuck his arm in the cracked window unlocked the car and brought the baby inside. I called the cops and stayed with the baby. It took the cops about 15 minutes to get there. The customers said the baby was in the car alone at least 15 minutes because they stood outside the car debating what to do for that long. I spoke with the cop at the service desk for at least another 15 minutes trying to figure out who the parent was. So we are talking at least 45 minutes. When we finally had the mothers name I paged her to the front, she said she was just in the store a couple of minutes. The gal at the service desk told me that she had done a refund for this lady. The time on the receipt proved that she was in the store for one hour. This baby was just 5 months old. Turns out she was a former employee. She just looks at me and said angrily,"Are you the one who took him out on my car". She had another child with her. The cop had her call a family member to take the older child and then took her and the baby to the station. I never heard what happened to her for doing this. I still find it hard to believe that she saw nothing wrong with what she did and tried to blame me for the trouble she was in. :mad: