Getting Passport for Underaged Child when Ex-Spouse is being Uncooperative

[cruisemamma99]

You are absolutely right that he does it because he likes to get to me. I never get this type of resistance with things that aren't really important to me. Just the things that are. Therein lies the secret, I guess. It's not to let him see how important the more important things are to me. But, it's difficult to do when you have thousands of dollars and your children's happiness riding on something.

 

 

I really disagree with your approach here and your empowerment of this guy. Call him up and let him know if by such and such date he doesn't sign or go to the post ofc. you will start legal proceedings. For heavens sake go to a legal aide to file a motion, or even to simply draft a letter that if he contines this nonsense legal action will follow. You certainly could get a cheaper lawyer too and you may want to consider going back for a child custody modification. Start documenting all these situations, but basically he's been allowed to control your life and thus this cruise. imo he'll continue to do so.

 

Also, what about doing a Hawaiin or New England and then tell him to shove it. You won't be leaving the country and there are many nice cruises without doing so. Just a suggestion.

[JerseyJT]

I so much appreciate all of your support, encouraging words, suggestions and well wishes in this situation. I think all of your positive vibes have paid off. I just received an e-mail from the ex which stated that he will make himself available on Saturday, May 26 to meet with me at the post office to sign the passport papers!!

 

Thanks again for all of you helping me through yesterday - I really gained strength from you wonderful people!!:D

 

So glad to hear this is resolving out. I know all too well how difficult it is to deal with an ex who does not want to cooperate with anything.

 

Is your post office available to do passports on Saturdays? Ours is not.

 

Sure hope it all works out for you.

Have a great cruise.

[cruisemamma99]

That's great news - unbelievable that he has to work into his "schedule" 10 days in advance what will amount to a 15 minute process...but that's okay. At least he's getting it done.

 

 

Amen! Don't let him jack you around though in the future. He sounds like a trip.

[Autumnrose]

I so much appreciate all of your support, encouraging words, suggestions and well wishes in this situation. I think all of your positive vibes have paid off. I just received an e-mail from the ex which stated that he will make himself available on Saturday, May 26 to meet with me at the post office to sign the passport papers!!

 

Thanks again for all of you helping me through yesterday - I really gained strength from you wonderful people!!:D

 

 

That is great. I am glad to hear it. After you are back from this cruise I would still go to court and get a visitation agreement. Why go through this stress everytime you want to take a cruise or vacation? When my ex took me to court for visitation I told the judge that as a TA I take advantage of discounted trips that are always last minute and I did not want to have any problems with getting my ex's permission to take my DD out of the country so last minute. The judge put in the order I was allowed to take my daughter out of the country for vacation without my ex's permission. If we will be gone for more than 7nights then I just have to send him something in writing within 14 days of the departure letting him know where we will be. I would look into something like this just to save you the stress every year.

[evolutiondob]

I really disagree with your approach here and your empowerment of this guy. Call him up and let him know if by such and such date he doesn't sign or go to the post ofc. you will start legal proceedings. For heavens sake go to a legal aide to file a motion, or even to simply draft a letter that if he contines this nonsense legal action will follow. You certainly could get a cheaper lawyer too and you may want to consider going back for a child custody modification. Start documenting all these situations, but basically he's been allowed to control your life and thus this cruise. imo he'll continue to do so.

 

Also, what about doing a Hawaiin or New England and then tell him to shove it. You won't be leaving the country and there are many nice cruises without doing so. Just a suggestion.

 

I know . . . you're right. But, honestly, sometimes it's just easier to try to get things done through other means. I hate antagonism and it tends to spiral out of control when I do approach it that way. Trust me, sometimes I want to just go ballistic and tell him what I feel about him and what he's doing. It gets so ugly sometimes. You know, I've been told that often the stonger person has to take the most sometimes.

[evolutiondob]

That's great news - unbelievable that he has to work into his "schedule" 10 days in advance what will amount to a 15 minute process...but that's okay. At least he's getting it done.

 

Yeah, him exercising his last piece of control. It stinks but ultimately, all I want is the passport.

[evolutiondob]

Amen! Don't let him jack you around though in the future. He sounds like a trip.

 

Trust me, he is.

[evolutiondob]

That is great. I am glad to hear it. After you are back from this cruise I would still go to court and get a visitation agreement. Why go through this stress everytime you want to take a cruise or vacation? When my ex took me to court for visitation I told the judge that as a TA I take advantage of discounted trips that are always last minute and I did not want to have any problems with getting my ex's permission to take my DD out of the country so last minute. The judge put in the order I was allowed to take my daughter out of the country for vacation without my ex's permission. If we will be gone for more than 7nights then I just have to send him something in writing within 14 days of the departure letting him know where we will be. I would look into something like this just to save you the stress every year.

 

That sound advice. I'm definitely going to look into having having the custody arrangement revisted - I don't want to deal with this type of stress, anxiety and frustration every time I want to take the kids on vacation.

[cruisemamma99]

That sound advice. I'm definitely going to look into having having the custody arrangement revisted - I don't want to deal with this type of stress, anxiety and frustration every time I want to take the kids on vacation.

 

 

I really lucked out because we went on a Baja cruise just with our B. Cert. and they never asked anything. I didn't even think to bring my custody papers just in case. Now we have passports, but I will bring my papers. I have full custody anyways, also she will be 14 in june and we sail in July. Funny we go to Canada every year and I've never had a problem, but theres always that one time.

[4mrnyer]

evolutiondob, I have been following your ordeal and am glad that he finally decided he could make time for your child. Please be sure and check to see if you PO does Passports on Saturdays. Alot of them don't and I would hate for you to go there and not be able to get it done. Also, our PO here in NC have all started taking appointments only to get them done. Need to check this too.

 

Good luck and have a great cruise when the time comes.

 

Sherry

[evolutiondob]

So glad to hear this is resolving out. I know all too well how difficult it is to deal with an ex who does not want to cooperate with anything.

 

Is your post office available to do passports on Saturdays? Ours is not.

 

Sure hope it all works out for you.

Have a great cruise.

 

Fortunately for me, the post office does do passports from 8:30 a.m. untl 12:00 noon.

[Mrsg324]

That is great that he said he would meet you.

 

I also think I read in one of your responses that you would wait until June before you pressed it since that would give you the 6 weeks. When is your cruise? If it is less than 12 weeks, please do the expedite since so many people are having issues with passports right now.

[evolutiondob]

evolutiondob, I have been following your ordeal and am glad that he finally decided he could make time for your child. Please be sure and check to see if you PO does Passports on Saturdays. Alot of them don't and I would hate for you to go there and not be able to get it done. Also, our PO here in NC have all started taking appointments only to get them done. Need to check this too.

 

Good luck and have a great cruise when the time comes.

 

Sherry

 

Thanks alot Sherry. Yes, the post office is open on Saturday so I'm definitely going to be there ready to go when the time comes!!

[Rich&Natalia]

I just got done reading a book called "48 Law of Power" (I highly recommend it), and I think one of the points in the book applies when attempting to get people to do something. Appeal to people's self-interest and not to their mercy or gratitude. I think that the best way to get your ex to do things is to allow him to see how it will work in his favor. Make him think that people will feel grateful for him doing it. Or that it may save him some money in the future. Especially when dealing with someone like your ex (as you described), thinking he'll do something simply because it's the right thing to do may be a mistake.

[dagadget]

I so much appreciate all of your support, encouraging words, suggestions and well wishes in this situation. I think all of your positive vibes have paid off. I just received an e-mail from the ex which stated that he will make himself available on Saturday, May 26 to meet with me at the post office to sign the passport papers!!

 

Thanks again for all of you helping me through yesterday - I really gained strength from you wonderful people!!:D

 

 

Now that is a real Blessing. Hopefully all will go well and you can then concentrate on having a great time :D

[Esmerelda]

Great news...! I'm so happy for you. I hope everything works out and he follows thru for you and your child!

 

happy sailing, and many blessings..

Esmerelda :)

[AdMaven]

Thanks alot Sherry. Yes, the post office is open on Saturday so I'm definitely going to be there ready to go when the time comes!!

 

Please double check just to be safe--that is a 3-day Memorial Day weekend.

[Apoggi]

Please check your postoffice to see if you need to make an appointment. We had to make an appointment to get our passports. You don't want to get their with the a$$ and have them tell you that you needed an appointment.

 

Good luck.

 

Ann

[R'man]

Just once, I would like those of you who do not have to deal with ex-spouses that are controlling, bullying, blaming, manipulative, abusive, rude and hurtful and left the marriage and their children, to experience life in our (and our childrens') shoes. :rolleyes:

 

My nephew recently went through the seventh ring of legal hell with his ex over a weekend out-of-state trip. (BTW: Women can be just as controlling, bullying, blaming, manipulative, abusive, rude and hurtful and leave the marriage and their children, as men, ladies.) Watch the language in the custody agreement - sometimes it isn't understood similarly by the signatories. Each parent has an equal say in these "shared custody" matters. In many states the courts would not want this in a courtroom, turning it over to a mediator and wasting time until it became moot. Meanwhile the lawyers get richer.

[SLH]

Yeah, we have joint physical custody - therein lies the problem.

I would contact your lawyer. I was given a hard time about my dd's passport even though I have sole custody and in our paperwork he had given me permission to get her passport renewed.

[SomeBeach]

For piece of mind (mine ;) ) make sure your post office will be doing so on that Sat. It's Memorial weekend.

When it's all said and done, smile politely and say thank you......... just make sure your head is held high! :D

[Ivanova]

For piece of mind (mine ;) ) make sure your post office will be doing so on that Sat. It's Memorial weekend.

When it's all said and done, smile politely and say thank you......... just make sure your head is held high! :D

 

post offices will be closed Monday but open Saturday (the Federal Government isn't so generous as to give employees 2 paid days off for a holiday ;-) )

[SomeBeach]

I know the gov't wouldn't be that generous. :D Was thinking more along the lines that all services will be offered.

[Mach1]

post offices will be closed Monday but open Saturday (the Federal Government isn't so generous as to give employees 2 paid days off for a holiday ;-) )

 

 

That is correct - just like Banks any federal organization can not be closed more than 2 days in a row. (most banks have branches open on saturday)

if a holiday is on a saturday - no day off, if on sunday you get monday off. (for what it's worth.)

 

evolutiondob ~ I wish you the best with all of this. What a nightmare, I really feel for the kids (in all the stories I have read here)

[la_croisiere_s'amuse]

Was thinking more along the lines that all services will be offered.

 

Micki, I'm glad you brought this up . . . I hadn't thought of it, but now that you mention it, the passport office in my local post office is only open during specific hours, and only on certain days of the week. I don't know if that's universal or not, but definitely something to look into!

 

Evolutiondob, we might be a pain in the tushie, just know that we really want this to work out for you!! :)