anyone ever spread ashes on a cruise?

[DGP1111]

We are going on the Ecstasy September 15th. I'd love to be able to do a little something for her. Maybe throw some flowers overboard.

Do any of you have any suggestions on how I could do a small memorial for her?

 

During a casual conversation with the cruise director aboard Carnival Miracle in September 2006, I mentioned my intent to toss a floral item from the ship as a personal memorial. He said that would be totally fine. Later that day I received a message from the pursers desk that the Captain (Cupisti) had offered me a private location, if I desired it, but that it wasn't necessary. That was a very nice, and appreciated, gesture.

 

It seems biodegradable floral doesn't cross any of the regulations of items leaving the ship. On another sailing, the very nice crew member working in Formalities mentioned that they are told of this intent on numerous sailings. The written directive they have in the shop is to advise passengers that containers, ribbon/bows, or wrapping paper should not be tossed with any floral.

 

***Tip: Get two of those brown packets of Sugar In The Raw from the dining room or Lido. Put the contents of one in your hand to check for wind direction. The darker color makes it easier to see than salt or granulated sugar.***

[BULLOCH12]

Don't ask, don't tell.

that's what i was thinking

[crookedhalo]

Please check with the cruise line before you do this. My DM passed in 2006 and we scattered her ashes from a RCCL ship with their assistance. We were led to a private area out of sight (no nosy questions) and the captain and some of the senior officers stood by respectfully while we had our small ceremony. We read a few of her favorite poems and then we we threw the remains into the water (they were encased in a water soluable "sock" that was provided by the cruise line). We each then scattered a handful of rose petals saved from her memorial service and said our private good byes. For an occasion that was mostly sad, it was very well handled. Kudos to RCCL. I would imagine Carnival has a similar program. Believe it or not, RCCL's was handled through their Air Deviation department (I have yet to figure that one out:confused: ). My sympathy is with you during this time, make the effort to arrange this before you go. Everytime I go down to the area we scattered her, looking into the blue water is like looking into her eyes:)

[runcassrun_07]

caly603: I am also sorry for your loss and believe spreading her ashes on your cruise is a good idea. I don't know anything about what should be done but like alot have suggested on the thread I'd call Carnival and if I did'nt like there suggestions do it where ever you want. But I think having the Captain to your side when you spread her ashes would be even better.

[clgcrusier]

Let me also give my condolences-I can't imagine how difficult it was to lose a child, and my heart goes out to you. My sister lost a baby to SIDS, and my brother died suddenly at age 35. Watching my sister's and mother's grief confirmed to me that no parent should ever have to bury their child-:(

 

That said, it seems I have read somewhere on here that someone was able to bury their loved one's ashes at sea with Carnival's help. They had a private ceremony away from the general public, with an attendee from Carnival. They actually had them dump the ashes down an anchor hole, which directed the ashes right to the water, without the problems of wind blowing them around.

 

As GC said, I don't think it's a good idea to do it on your own. Carnival (or whatever cruiseline) could probably help make it a little more dignified. But if you choose to do so, I agree with above poster- the lowest possible cabin aft would probably be the best solution. My coworker's mother past last fall. She had been a member of the Coast Guard for years. The family split up her ashes, spreading them to places she loved. One of them was the family took a boat to a lake here, and released a small container of the ashes while they trolled slowly, sow they wouldn't fly around. Even took a picture of the ashes floating on the water-actually looked kind of ephemeral, with the sun going down!

 

Good luck to you, and hugs. . .

[ruskatab]

Please check with the cruise line before you do this. My DM passed in 2006 and we scattered her ashes from a RCCL ship with their assistance. We were led to a private area out of sight (no nosy questions) and the captain and some of the senior officers stood by respectfully while we had our small ceremony. We read a few of her favorite poems and then we we threw the remains into the water (they were encased in a water soluable "sock" that was provided by the cruise line). We each then scattered a handful of rose petals saved from her memorial service and said our private good byes. For an occasion that was mostly sad, it was very well handled. Kudos to RCCL. I would imagine Carnival has a similar program. Believe it or not, RCCL's was handled through their Air Deviation department (I have yet to figure that one out:confused: ). My sympathy is with you during this time, make the effort to arrange this before you go. Everytime I go down to the area we scattered her, looking into the blue water is like looking into her eyes:)

 

What a beautiful tribute to your Mother. Saving the rose petals was so touching. This is the kind of ceremony I would want my family to do then go and have a great time on the cruise.

[crookedhalo]

The only thing I would have liked to do differently was to be able to scatter them earlier in the trip. It was a nine night cruise and it was the 7th day before conditions were optimal by the captains estimation. It sort of cast a pall on the rest of an otherwise fantastic trip. My entire family (all 3 sisters and their families) were on board and we all really reconnected and used the time to re-establish relationships that had dwindled due to differences in ages, careers and families. Since that point we all get together much more frequently and make a point of getting to gatherings, even if it's going to be a pain:) We've even taken to vacationing together and taking girls-only trips - we're a lot stronger for having honored our mother's final wishes to not be buried and to never be cold again:o

[picklebongo]

I started this exact same thread about a year ago and I was beat the hell up so badly it took me awhile to recover. I'm so glad everybody has been kind to you. I was accused of coming up with bizarre questions just to get something started, even accused of being a troll.

[summercruisin']

Hey Pickle, I just wanted to say I rarely post here, and I didn't respond to your similar post a year ago, but I'm sorry for the poor treatment. I can't imagine the hurt that must have caused. I hope you have been able to find a peaceful resolution to your sad situation.

 

To the OP, I'm so sorry for your loss. I know you must be heartbroken. I hope, whatever you decide (contact Carnival or no) that you have a beautiful and personal experience that you can cherish.

[picklebongo]

Thank you.

[crookedhalo]

I started this exact same thread about a year ago and I was beat the hell up so badly it took me awhile to recover. I'm so glad everybody has been kind to you. I was accused of coming up with bizarre questions just to get something started, even accused of being a troll.

 

I'm sorry you feel this way. I have started and responded to many threads. Some people don't respond the way I expect/believe they should, but then again what I perceive may not be what they intended, so I take it all with a grain of salt and don't get my feelings hurt. I believe I responded to your thread. I try to respond to any thread I see on this subject, since I can speak from experience which many who respond don't have:( It is a touchy subject and some people don't handle this very well. Also, there is a lot of disinformation floating around out there which I am trying to correct. Hope your next attempt at posting a thread is better:)

[caly603]

I feel truly fortunate to have such a wonderful outpouring from you all regarding this issue. Today would have been my daughter's 26th birthday and the suggestion about saving rose petals prompted me to keep some of the flowers from the bouquet I bought to commemorate her day. I have tried to contact Carnival with no luck as of yet, but we still have a week and a half to go before we leave.

To the comment about the delay in getting the ashes dealt with:

We had quite a disagreement over where to spread the ashes. You see, some wanted to do it the first night and get it over with so as not to "cast a pall" over the rest of the trip. I felt much more strongly that she should be in the waters where we, as a family, really reconnected with each other. In speaking to my grief support group, the overall consensus was, it doesn't really matter if you do it the first day or the last, it's still going to be something that you will deal with the whole time. Better to shoot for where it really matters, or in this case, where it's going to be most feasable.

I knew there was a reason why I liked cruising so much- the people! I will be watching for more posts as we get closer to the date. Thanks again and pray for us, would you. We have a lovely grandchild that has no parent to raise her now- glad I'm not older than I already am :D

Caly

[caly603]

P.S. Dear Picklebongo,

My sincere condolences to you. Having been on this side of grieving, I can understand how devastating that must have been at a time when you really needed help and kindness. It's hard to "see" espressions online and some really don't say the nicest things- they think typing at a screen means there isn't really a person on the other end who has feelings. I hope you were able to find a solution to your situation some other way.

Many blessings!

Caly

[KNowme1st]

So sorry to hear of your loss. My father passed away, he loved the sea. It was his wish to be by the water. He also was cremated. I have taken a small ( 1 tsp) amount of ashes of his on our trips. 1 for each beach. each stop i would find a "secluded" spot, talk to him as i sprinkled his ashes under a tree or bush looking out to sea, his favorite place to look. So it can be done with disgression. Do it for her. You will feel better for it. Again I am so sorry. Blessings

[redlef]

We'd like to spread our daughter's ashes in memory of our trip together last year before she passed away. Has anyone done this? I am having a rough time finding information on the requirements, if any.

 

Caly603 -

 

I don't know if this answer is too late to help you, but I just contacted Carnival last week about spreading my wife's ashes on my next cruise in January. They were very willing to accommodate and told me to contact them with my booking number when I had it, and they said it would be arranged with the ship.

 

I still haven't decided if I'm going to go through with this, but Carnival was very willing to help out.

[caly603]

Sorry it took so long to do this. My time is at a premium nowadays, raising my grand daughter and dealing with all that life has given me to deal with. In regards to scattering ashes, this was my personal experience:

 

I received an email from Carnival's environmental officer just one day prior to leaving for our trip. Here are their policies regarding burial at sea:

 

Can you please let me know what date your cruise starts and I will inform the Carnival Glory of your request. The ship will coordinate all of the details once you board. Once you board (not immediately but the first or second day) you should contact the Pursers Desk and inform them of your wishes for a burial at sea of cremated ashes. The Purser will contact the appropriate staff onboard and complete the coordination with you. The exact date and time will then be determined based on the ship's position among other factors. The ceremony takes places at the aft (rear) of the ship so the ashes will be blown into the ocean. Carnival does not provide a container for dispersal.

 

Please note the following:

Carnival does not require any paperwork for the burial, but you are required to obtain any documents that your state may require to transport the ashes.

 

No non-organic materials can be dispersed with the ashes, such as plastic flowers or ribbons. Real flowers are acceptable as are biodegradable urns.

 

I contacted the purser's desk but had a hard time getting things set up with them for when and where. As luck would have it, Butch was our cruise director, the same director from the cruise we took with our DD. I invited him to join us and he made all of the arrangements for us. He escorted us to the location and explained where the ashes were to go, which was an anchor hole as someone said it would be. I took a baggie with ashes and flower petals from her birthday bouquet with me, and upended the bag into the hole as far as I could reach. Even with direction, I was covered in ashes which I had to discreetly brush away as much as possible before turning back to my family. That was the only negative to an otherwise sad but beautiful time for us to say goodbye to our daughter. Butch went above and beyond for us, and for that I will be forever grateful.

 

Do contact the purser. Make sure you bring your own container that can be tossed over or be prepared to have ashes possibly come back at you. Above all, take the time to do what you need to do. They'll wait for you.

[MrPete]

How touching.

 

Thanks for the follow up, and God rest your daughters soul.