what ever happen to respect?

[aussiedisneyfan]

Possibly "galled"?

[pipedreams62]

[Stevesan]

I,ve just come off a cruise the maasdam And I personally thought I had gone back in time . There were older cruisers actually ordering and talking to the employees like they were so under them example A well to do older women was sitting in the lido dining and was ask very politely if she,d care for a cocktail AND her response was no but I want milk NOW I was gulled felt like saying something to her . Talked to women steward later and was told that was not uncommon by the elderly on holland america We witness events like that at least 5 times a day.Those employees work long hours for lousy pay By our standards thety are family people just trying to make a living to support that.

 

You've apparently never been exposed to it, but that type of response is a typical indicator of early onset Alzheimer.

That may be you someday, if you live long enough.

[jimgev]

Other than those people who are impacted by the changes caused by Alzheimers, stroke, etc., there is no excuse for treating people badly.

 

I once read a comment which said that the true quality of a person can be determined by the way they treat restaurant help. A good and kind person does not treat wait staff poorly.

 

Over the years, I have found this to be amazingly accurate.

 

Jim

[Miata]

I was on a HAL ship a few years ago and overhead an older women chew out an employee when he was telling her how she wasn't allowed to do something. I can't even remember what it was now. She nailed the employee about how no one had told her this information. I had actually read my cruise docoments and the item in question was in there. He wasn't wrong, SHE WAS! This wasn't Alzheimers this was rudeness (she could have answered that she wasn't aware of that rule but will now follow it).

 

In my opinion Alzheimers amplifies personality traits that are already there. If you are a sweet person then you will remain a sweet person but you may ask the same question a dozen times. If you are a difficult person then this sadly will be amplified as well.

 

OK, so what do you do when you observe bad behavior by a passenger when the staff is not out of line? I like to catch the employee and tell him that I appreciate all he or she does. This immediately improves their mood. I also tell them that should there be a compliant of any kind then I should be contacted (I give them my room number) and I will defend them in front of their supervisors. Just as some jerk brings them down, someone else can bring them up again.

 

Regarding politeness such as saying thank-you, etc. This was the way I was raised by my parents. They set the example and that's how I learned it. Both of my parents were VERY well educated yet no one was below them. I look the person in the eye and smile when I say it. It's so simple and shows that you appreciate their actions. BTW, most all of these people are very interesting to talk to. If I can get a conversation going I love to ask them what are the three best things about their country. They love to answer that question.

 

Off the stump for the rest of the day.

[bepsf]

I can deal with the older folks who are obviously lashing out due to the possible onset of Alzheimer's...

 

...but it seems there's more and more folks in their 30's, 40's and 50's coming down with it these days. :rolleyes:

[Miata]

Good point

[DizzyDallasDi]

I can deal with the older folks who are obviously lashing out due to the possible onset of Alzheimer's...

 

...but it seems there's more and more folks in their 30's, 40's and 50's coming down with it these days. :rolleyes:

 

Good point!

 

I'm curious how one would know if it was Alzheimer's causing the rude behavior or if the person was just a cranky old so-and-so? Sounds like we're giving free reign to anyone "of age" who acts out or disrespects others.

 

Diane

[world~citizen]

...By our standards they are family people just trying to make a living to support that.

 

That's right.

 

To me, it is just as disrespectful to cancel gratuities out of some convoluted logic like auto-gratuities are tantamount to "picking a person's pocket".

 

Good manners and respect are for all people, all the time.

[bepsf]

Good point!

 

I'm curious how one would know if it was Alzheimer's causing the rude behavior or if the person was just a cranky old so-and-so? Sounds like we're giving free reign to anyone "of age" who acts out or disrespects others.

 

Diane

 

We sometimes have to make allowances for others based on minimal information...

 

...but we can also politely say to them "Now that wasn't a very nice thing to say/do." and continue on about our business.

[pipedreams62]

[DizzyDallasDi]

We sometimes have to make allowances for others based on minimal information...

 

...but we can also politely say to them "Now that wasn't a very nice thing to say/do." and continue on about our business.

 

.... and open myself up for a rude come back? I'll just continue with my policy of "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."

 

Actually, I fnd people very amusing and relish those "off" moments and circumstances. They add color to my back-from-vacation stories and we always get a good laugh out of them. If everything went perfectly, my trips would be less memorable and might even be a tad boring.

 

Diane

[babyher]

Good point!

 

I'm curious how one would know if it was Alzheimer's causing the rude behavior or if the person was just a cranky old so-and-so? Sounds like we're giving free reign to anyone "of age" who acts out or disrespects others.

 

Diane

 

 

My Mom who is 85 will be the first one to complain about nasty senior citizens. She spends the winters in Florida and tells me horror stories of how many push in lines and berate the waiters and waitresses at restaurants , and are just plain miserable.

 

There is a little restaurant a group of them go to several times a week for lunch.. One week one of the ladies stated she will never go back there because the waitress is always coming on to her husband.

 

The waitress they are talking about is 20 something and looks like one of the girls with the cases on Deal or No Deal (My mothers description, not mine) *LOL* and the sweetest girl. The womans husband is like 86 :)

 

My mother told her "Ida , Frank can't even stay awake until the end of Jeopardy , whats this young girl want to do with him"

[DizzyDallasDi]

My Mom who is 85 will be the first one to complain about nasty senior citizens. She spends the winters in Florida and tells me horror stories of how many push in lines and berate the waiters and waitresses at restaurants , and are just plain miserable.

 

There is a little restaurant a group of them go to several times a week for lunch.. One week one of the ladies stated she will never go back there because the waitress is always coming on to her husband.

 

The waitress they are talking about is 20 something and looks like one of the girls with the cases on Deal or No Deal (My mothers description, not mine) *LOL* and the sweetest girl. The womans husband is like 86 :)

 

My mother told her "Ida , Frank can't even stay awake until the end of Jeopardy , whats this young girl want to do with him"

 

:D LOL :D

Great story! The green eyed monster never gets old...

[babyher]

:D LOL :D

Great story! The green eyed monster never gets old...

 

 

*LOL*

 

My mom definately was the inspiration for Sophia on The Golden Girls. Although she would like to think of herself more as Blanche *LOL*

[JimVrhovac]

We have noticed over the years that the younger generation has less manners and sociial graces than the older generation. Granted there are people from all age groups that are just down right rude and ignorant.

 

We are the ones that have tought the younger generations their manners and value systems and need to look at ourselves in the mirror sometimes.

 

A while ago I posted on a thread about problems with my grandchildreen visiting us and wearing hats inside and then sitting there playing their gameboys all day. I took the gameboys away, took the batteries out, and gave them back. I told them if they wanted to stay in our house their hats would come off. No exceptions.

 

Several people on this board critcized me for being too strick and putting petty things ahead of the time with my grandchildren.

 

Our attitude is they can do what they want when they our home but when they are in our house they will follow our rules. These rules are the same standards we tried to raise our kids with and in some cases the training did not work.

 

If we don't teach our children good manners and social graces how can they be expected to show them. There sure as hell are not going to learn them in school or out on the street corner.

 

Just one couples opinion.

 

Ruth & Jim

[DizzyDallasDi]

*LOL*

 

My mom definately was the inspiration for Sophia on The Golden Girls. Although she would like to think of herself more as Blanche *LOL*

 

 

Well, my mother was decidedly all-Blanche... she probably could have even taught that golden girl a thing or two. :D

[Seavoyage]

Shame on that senior gal for being such a snit to the waiter! Just not nice! Further, if that gal has Dementia or Alzheimer's - even mild at best - why would and how could she be alone on a cruise? That just does not add up.

 

With that, sad but true there are individuals woven into our society that are rude, thankless, hateful, harmful, and just plain mean! The fact is that the rest of us tolerate this behavior. Honestly - even when an intervention is in order - the tactful will tend to shy away unless there is perhaps potential bodily harm and sometimes that does not even matter with a select few.

 

My question, why should we be tolerant of ignorance and further why when we pay good money to go on vacation should we along with the crew we appreciate have to be subjected to nasty, abusive people? I have an idea - besides a walk the plank program maybe we could suggest the cruise lines initiate a personality test along with the health questions to determine whether or not they are fit to cruise. Why is not ok to cruise if you are physically ill but if you are mentally ill it is fine?

 

I'm takin' the high road baby! :rolleyes:

[usha]

Maybe mean people should be spayed or neutered?

[Seavoyage]

USHA:

Indeed! :D

[fun*n*sun]

 

In my opinion Alzheimers amplifies personality traits that are already there. If you are a sweet person then you will remain a sweet person but you may ask the same question a dozen times. If you are a difficult person then this sadly will be amplified as well.

 

.

 

Shame on that senior gal for being such a snit to the waiter! Just not nice! Further, if that gal has Dementia or Alzheimer's - even mild at best - why would and how could she be alone on a cruise? That just does not add up.

 

 

 

I think the reason Alzheimer's has been brought up here is that people recognized the situation with the "milk lady" as similar to situations they had been through with relatives who had or turned out later to have Alzheimer's. Having worked in the medical field with geriatrics and been through Alzheimer's with my grandmother and father-in-law I can tell you it does indeed effect personality. Unwarranted anger, aggression and impatience are symptoms of Alzheimer's. A sweet, kind, patient gentle, thoughtful person can become or go through a phase of being irritable, angry, paranoid, aggressive and difficult, sometimes it comes on slowly and early in the disease and isn't immediately recognized as a symptom.

 

I had similar experiences with both my dfil and my Nana who both showed personality changes early in the course of their disease. My Father-in-law is a very caring and thoughtful person. He started to get upset more and more easily with little things. It was especially obvious when we went out to eat and he was rude and impatient with waiters. He was perfectly capable of taking care of himself at this point, and in fact went on several cruises after his behavior began to change but before he got to the point where he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. We knew that he was not acting like the man we had known, that his patience and temper were much shorter, we starting only having him over to the house and not going out to restaurants with him, but there was no way we could force him not to travel. It was several years between when the personality changes started and he got to the point where he was diagnosed and needed others to help care for him. Unless you have had it happen to someone you love in the same way it's really hard to be the judge and jury over someone else.

 

OF COURSE MOST rude people can help themselves, they are just rude. Whether they have an excuse or not it's all the same to the worker who has to deal with them. I could not do what they do and keep smiling and being polite while being treated badly. I admire those who are able to keep their composure and even sense of humor. I think it's a great idea to acknowledge them, let them and their supervisors know what an excellent job you think they've done in the face of a difficult situation.

[Miata]

Hi Jim and Ruth,

 

As I said in my earlier post, my parents led by setting the example. No one was beneath them.

 

My grandfather said "If you are polite you are right."

 

Curious how the care giver for the Alheimers' patients let them run around a ship on their own.

 

Larry and Holly

[babyher]

Shame on that senior gal for being such a snit to the waiter! Just not nice! Further, if that gal has Dementia or Alzheimer's - even mild at best - why would and how could she be alone on a cruise? That just does not add up.

 

With that, sad but true there are individuals woven into our society that are rude, thankless, hateful, harmful, and just plain mean! The fact is that the rest of us tolerate this behavior. Honestly - even when an intervention is in order - the tactful will tend to shy away unless there is perhaps potential bodily harm and sometimes that does not even matter with a select few.

 

My question, why should we be tolerant of ignorance and further why when we pay good money to go on vacation should we along with the crew we appreciate have to be subjected to nasty, abusive people? I have an idea - besides a walk the plank program maybe we could suggest the cruise lines initiate a personality test along with the health questions to determine whether or not they are fit to cruise. Why is not ok to cruise if you are physically ill but if you are mentally ill it is fine?

 

I'm takin' the high road baby! :rolleyes:

 

 

OK I am going to sound like my father now *LOL*

 

He passed away 24 years ago and he was saying this about the way things were changeing. I can't imagine what he would say today.

 

One of the big problems is EVERYTHING IS OK.

 

What we used to shun and try to rise above, we now embrace and molly coddle.

 

Years ago there as a little thing called shame. You were afraid to do this, or go here or whatever because it would bring shame to your family. Your mother wouldn't be able to go to the A&P because she would hear the other ladies whisper "Thats Mrs. Jones, thats the one whose son YADDA YADDA YADDA . Today anything goes and if you have a problem with it YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.

 

We have a saying at work "You can be an A-Hole and keep your job 25 years , but the guy that calls them an A_hole gets fired on the spot.

 

We embrace these people and make excuses for them, and it seems that every form of bad deviant behavior now has a clinical disease or syndrome attached to it. And there is always some "expert in the field" who writes a book and forrms a support group fort these "afflicted victims"

 

Now lashing out at some moron is akin to lashing out at a handicapped person or a terminally ill person. It just isn't done

 

Don't even get me started on the Victim mentality epidemic

 

All this has to change before we get any where

[PIED PIPERS]

Well got to admit I love the excuses. For one the lady was just rude because we kinda watch her thru lunch. I believe it was more a less people who somehow think these employees were less than them.In talking to alot of employees on the maasdam ,comparing it to employees on other boats we,ve been on. pay still very low ,long hours, no compensation when injured ,and rude passengers makes for a lot tougher job that most of us have.So your next cruise treat them with the respect you want , remeber they get payed less than mcdonald,s employees. And if you go on the maasdam tell Ronald in nav bar his smoking crew says hello Great guy been there 18 yrs with wife n 3 kids home in philiphines so tip him good .

[SueCruz]

Maybe mean people should be spayed or neutered?

 

Yes, Please.