Would This Make Me A Bad Parent?

[tiyana4]

Until 2 weeks ago my DD had not missed a day of school in 7 years. There was an incident where they discovered Asbestos in the ceiling and it was not safe to return to school. It was during this time that we took her out of school for one day for a weekend visit to New Orleans and to see Celine Dion in concert.

 

DD complained that she wouldn no longer have perfect attendance on her record. She enjoys schools and insist on going even when she's not feeling her best. Add to that the fact that she is in all Honors classes and there is no way I could take her out of school for such a profound period of time. In the States we have generous winter breaks, one week during the spring and 10 weeks of summer to take vacation. Granted, I have found that cruising is always more expensive during these times of the year but it is easier to plan knowing those dates are wide open.

 

I personally feel it puts unnecessary strain on children when they have so much work to make up. Missing one week-maybe, but two weeks-no way. Honors student have an exhorbent amount of work and special projects to do and I as a parent, would not want to add to that burden by voluntarily imposing the added stress by dangling vacation at Disney over their heads....just my opinion.

[CatherineL]

Thanks everyone for the great advice. We've decided to do the cruise seperately, in Europe, in the school holidays, as I'd planned originally. As much as I love beaches, there's a whole heap of places we want to see closer to home.

 

And we'll go to Florida early next year, taking a week extra next to a school holiday, instead of two.

 

Farmerjohn - I'm glad you take the kids out of school so you can take a holiday. My grandparents were farmers too and they died having barely had any days off and I can count the holidays I remember them having on one hand. And it's not that they didn't want to go anywhere.

 

But as you say, it's difficult to get the time off and summer is impossible. They did get to go on the QE2 when I was very young but I wish they'd had more time away. Most farmers I know work really long and unsociable hours and they should grab any time off that they can get, before it's too late.

 

CruisnKs - that must have been awful. I do wish the police would concentrate on real crimes, instead of the easy pickings.

 

Sandytoes - the reason folk tend to visit Florida for longer than a week is the jet-lag, plus money spent on airfare doesn't make a week worthwhile. We have done just one week a few times and we're all exhausted for about two weeks when we get home.

[sandytoes03]

Thanks everyone for the great advice. We've decided to do the cruise seperately, in Europe, in the school holidays, as I'd planned originally. As much as I love beaches, there's a whole heap of places we want to see closer to home.

 

And we'll go to Florida early next year, taking a week extra next to a school holiday, instead of two.

 

Farmerjohn - I'm glad you take the kids out of school so you can take a holiday. My grandparents were farmers too and they died having barely had any days off and I can count the holidays I remember them having on one hand. And it's not that they didn't want to go anywhere.

 

But as you say, it's difficult to get the time off and summer is impossible. They did get to go on the QE2 when I was very young but I wish they'd had more time away. Most farmers I know work really long and unsociable hours and they should grab any time off that they can get, before it's too late.

 

CruisnKs - that must have been awful. I do wish the police would concentrate on real crimes, instead of the easy pickings.

 

Sandytoes - the reason folk tend to visit Florida for longer than a week is the jet-lag, plus money spent on airfare doesn't make a week worthwhile. We have done just one week a few times and we're all exhausted for about two weeks when we get home.

 

Hope you enjoy all your vacations! ;)

[CatherineL]

You too Sandytoes - I have just noticed you are going to Alaska. You'll have an awesome time. It's high up on my to do list and I know many people on cruise critic say it was their best cruise experience. Have fun.

[nothriver]

Seems like you have found a solution. I do want to add that I often took my children out of elementary school but once the hit middle school, even one or two days out of school my children would fall hopelessly behind. Because my kids are good students, they are in advanced classes and really it is awful for them to miss even a day or two of school. There is no way I would take kids ages 12 and 14 our of school for a week, let alone 2 weeks. Even the very best students would not be able to catch up.

 

My tongue in cheek response to parents who think it would be ok to take a teen out of school for 2 weeks: If your kids can miss 2 weeks of school without any trouble, you need to find a better school because you kids must be wasting their time there anyway!

 

My serious respons, enjoy traveling in the off season when your kids are young. It is too much pressure to expect older kids to miss school and have to struggle to catch up for a vacation.

[sandytoes03]

You too Sandytoes - I have just noticed you are going to Alaska. You'll have an awesome time. It's high up on my to do list and I know many people on cruise critic say it was their best cruise experience. Have fun.

 

I'll be sure to report back afterwards. ;)

[Eeyoregon]

There is sooo much to see and do at Disney World that 2 weeks is honestly not even enough time. I say GO FOR IT.

 

 

No kidding. We have spent 7+ days at Walt Disney World every year since 1998 and we STILL haven't seen/done everything. Then add all of the new stuff and it just seems impossible! I guess that's what keeps us coming back.

 

OP: I say go for it as well. You could take a trip over to Port Canaveral and tour the NASA center (that's educational :D). Animal Kingdom and Epcot are full of educational opportunities!

 

Plus in Orlando you also have Sea World and Gatorland, lol! You could also do one of the jet boat eco-tours in the area (that's educational :D).

 

Sound like a fun time!! Let me know if you need me to come along and be your tour guide!

 

Gina

[chj]

Vacation or School?

 

Hmm vacation or school?

 

VACATION!!! The kids are get good grades, they will make it up. Beside they will see the world, new people, new cultures, spend time with family, damm they will have a fun and so will I, its only two weeks of school, right:confused:

[Karysa]

One would also have to consider what would happen if your child became ill during that semester and missed another week or two. You would probably not get much sympathy from the teachers or school officials since you took your child out of school for two weeks.

Karysa

[adoptmom]

With your kids being 12 & 14, how do they feel about being away from school for two weeks knowing all the work they will need to make-up? Two weeks is ALOT of work to make-up and missed instruction. My kids would dread making up all that work! We take them out for a few days that back up to a scheduled school vacation to make the trip longer, and even then they are not happy with the extra work, I can't imagine two weeks!

 

Well, they could take it with them or work ahead. However, classroom instruction isn't the end all be all if it's anything like it is here. When my son was in school I was eternally grateful that I used to teach algebra because I was constantly doing the teaching at home. They had only about 15 minutes or less of instructional time in class by the time they did homework grading and other administrative stuff. There were no "projects." It's one of the reasons we came back to homeschooling. If I was going to do the teaching we wanted to be on our schedule and not at 6pm after a full day at school.

 

I'd rather take my kids and give them life experiences than worry about what they might be missing in class. I can make up algebra but you can't substitute Rome and Washington DC.

 

Tami

[rebeccalouise]

One thing about going on cruise to Europe off season is there will be fewer children onboard- which may mean less activities for the kids. Also, I do think it puts a huge burden on the child to miss that much school.

 

Unless you plan to homeschool for the remainder of the year- most schools would not allow such a long unexcused absence (unless it is a private school).

 

I know this because I quit my job in the fall (don't ask) and thought- you know what... now that I have free time, wouldn't it be great to travel? I found a transatlantic cruise with stops in the Canary Islands, Morrocco, etc. etc. It would mean my son missing 10 schools days though. So, before I booked anything, I sat down with the principal to see if I could get permission to take him. She said "School is important. If you want to travel, then you should but leave your child at home." That was her attitude and she wasn't going to budge. That was that.

 

Glad I asked before I spent too much time looking at cruises.

[beachchick]

Well, they could take it with them or work ahead. However, classroom instruction isn't the end all be all if it's anything like it is here. When my son was in school I was eternally grateful that I used to teach algebra because I was constantly doing the teaching at home. They had only about 15 minutes or less of instructional time in class by the time they did homework grading and other administrative stuff. There were no "projects." It's one of the reasons we came back to homeschooling. If I was going to do the teaching we wanted to be on our schedule and not at 6pm after a full day at school.

 

I'd rather take my kids and give them life experiences than worry about what they might be missing in class. I can make up algebra but you can't substitute Rome and Washington DC.

 

Tami

 

True and a perfectly valid point of view. OTOH, it's not as if Rome or Washington, DC are going anywhere. They're not like short-term museum exhibits, where if you don't go now, you don't get to see them at all.

 

beachchick

[cavkc]

The moral dilema is one that only indvidual parents can decide upon. I for one would not take my chidlren out of school for more than a day (and then only if absolutely unavoidable) however we have friends that regularly take theirs out for the odd week during term time.

 

Should you decide to take them out, you MUST get the written approval from the Headteacher in advance. If you ask their approval prior to even booking they tend to be much more amenable to your request.

 

My kids have probably had too many life experiences :rolleyes: but only in school vacation time! Getting into good universities etc. is getting harder each year and even sixth forms take into account how many days you have missed in the previous year. When my son applied to his current schools sixth form, they were told that if they had missed in excess of 3% of days you would not be accepted, ill health was the only valid excuse.

[Onessa]

Here's hoping that Catherine and her family have a wonderful trip!

 

My DD has missed time from school several time for family vacations. She is now in 7th grade (US). But because of family situations and work schedules, sometimes we just can't do a summer vacation. Her school does not do the "spring break" thing and unless you want to travel over Christmas, there are no breaks longer than 2 school days throughout the school year.

 

We do try to minimize the time away from school.

 

She is taking honors classes (she is in Freshman Algebra, Advanced Science, and 8th grade Spanish at the middle school and is taking a Freshman Lit course at the high school - Shakespeare). The honors level teachers always seem to be thrilled that she has the opportunity to travel and never give her a hard time about putting together make-up work. On her last Trimester report card she had straight As (her lowest mark was a 97%) -- and we had taken her out of school for 5 days (over a two week period) around Thanksgiving. Had she been ill at any point during the trimester, she still would have stayed home -- any teacher who would want an ill child at school should be considering a different profession!

 

This works for my family. Everyone should be able to make up their own minds about what works for their own family. Having a governmental agency determine what is right or wrong for your family. There is no "one size fits all" answer to anything about childrearing and when government tries to legislate parenting it cannot work. We talk to our DD's teachers about whether or not the timing for a vaction is good for our DD and then clear it with the administration. If there were tests scheduled or if she was struggling with something, we wouldn't go.

[lovesublime]

Here's hoping that Catherine and her family have a wonderful trip!

 

 

This works for my family. Everyone should be able to make up their own minds about what works for their own family. Having a governmental agency determine what is right or wrong for your family. There is no "one size fits all" answer to anything about childrearing and when government tries to legislate parenting it cannot work. We talk to our DD's teachers about whether or not the timing for a vaction is good for our DD and then clear it with the administration. If there were tests scheduled or if she was struggling with something, we wouldn't go.

 

 

 

I don't think it's so much about the right to parent the way you see fit as it is about compulsory attendance laws. I don't know about where you live, but here, parents can be thrown in jail for their children not going to school. I don't know anyone who EVER (in my state) took their kids out for a vacation. It's just too risky.

[krmlaw]

I would say thats too long to take the kids out of school. For me, one week would be the max. But its a personal decision, and if you and their teachers are comfortable with in ...

 

Our high school would never condone nor allow a 3 week vacation.

[chipmaster]

I mentioned in another thread that I was trying to choose between taking kids to Disney, or a European cruise. I would love to do a cruise - I planned to do one last year but we had to change plans. But my husband and kids have outvoted me, as they want to do Disney.

 

In the past, when we've gone to Orlando, it has usually just been for a week. But we're from the UK, so it seems a waste to spend all that money on a flight for a week.

 

My kids have a one week school holiday in October. Do you think it would be terrible if we took them out of school for an additional two weeks, so we could do a week on Freedom of the Seas Western Caribbean and two weeks in Orlando? They will be 12 and 14.

 

Going during the Summer holidays is out of the question because of the heat, crowds and extortionate flight costs at that time. We don't usually do such long vacations but I'm 40 this year, so I'd really love to do something memorable.

 

My take is very different then most.

 

What makes you good or bad won't be whether you decide to or not, nor whether its one day, one week, or one month. Nor are you good or bad parent if you do it or not if your kid gets straight A's or is a C student.

 

What makes you good or bad is how you end up rationalizing this to your children. Its the lesson in making choices and how you make the decision that teaches values to your children. That is more important then the days of school they miss or the wordly things they will learn on vacation, or the valuable family time togather. Your children will grow up to face many choices some simply and some difficult and test their values and morals. Its thru our example they will get the character to guide them thru those choices.

 

People who rationalize this based on grades or making up school are completely missing what is the more important theme underlying how you made the decision and how your children will remember those choices you made.

[quincytoo]

When I read thread like this I am sooo happy to be living up here in Canada :)

 

We have pulled our children out of school every Oct/Nov for the past 15 years for a family holiday. We always let the teachers know well in advance and bring the required homework so the child will not fall behind. This school work ALWAYS got done!!!!!!

 

 

Our honour roll child(now in University) often came back well ahead of his classes the other two were never behind. All the teachers always gave us their blessing and *wished* they were coming with us.

 

I don't understand how the police and demands for cash payments if your child misses school can be made???

 

That said, we do pay very high school taxes so maybe we are allowed to have more rights???

[graceinmelbourne]

When I read thread like this I am sooo happy to be living up here in Canada :)

 

We have pulled our children out of school every Oct/Nov for the past 15 years for a family holiday. We always let the teachers know well in advance and bring the required homework so the child will not fall behind. This school work ALWAYS got done!!!!!!

 

 

Our honour roll child(now in University) often came back well ahead of his classes the other two were never behind. All the teachers always gave us their blessing and *wished* they were coming with us.

 

I don't understand how the police and demands for cash payments if your child misses school can be made???

 

That said, we do pay very high school taxes so maybe we are allowed to have more rights???

 

 

Sounds like Canada is similar to Australia. We are in Australia and we have often taken the kids out of school for vacations. My daughter was in grade 6 last year and there were quite a few kids who went on long trips overseas. A couple went for 8 weeks. None of them fell behind, they all had work to do whilst they were away and they learnt a great deal at the places they visited. The school had no problem with it as long as they were informed. Having said that now that our daughter is in high school we are a bit more reluctant to take her out and that is why we will be going on a cruise in September during school holidays.

[Liltx31]

When I read thread like this I am sooo happy to be living up here in Canada :)

 

We have pulled our children out of school every Oct/Nov for the past 15 years for a family holiday. We always let the teachers know well in advance and bring the required homework so the child will not fall behind. This school work ALWAYS got done!!!!!!

 

 

Our honour roll child(now in University) often came back well ahead of his classes the other two were never behind. All the teachers always gave us their blessing and *wished* they were coming with us.

 

I don't understand how the police and demands for cash payments if your child misses school can be made???

 

That said, we do pay very high school taxes so maybe we are allowed to have more rights???

 

I also live in San Antonio but have never heard of this being done with only four days of unexcused absences. Excused absences are for illness, doctors appointments, deaths in the family etc. Unexcused would include vacations or just not showing up without a written reason. Usually a letter is sent home on the fifth unexcused absence and then on the 10th one you will get some sort of legal warning. I think you have to miss 20 unexcused days to be taken to court. But we have a HUGE drop out problem that is furthered by drugs, teen pregnancy, and gang activity. Some of this is necessary to make sure parents know what their kids are doing and to help keep them in school. So missing a week or possibly even two of school will not get you fined but more than that could possibly after a court date. I wonder what district the PP is in?

 

Monica

[celle]

Well, based on the responses here, I think we need to move to another state or possibly, the UK. We took our 5 and 6 year old out of school for 4 days in September and came home to a visit from the police and a letter threatening a $500 fine and imprisonment. :eek: We had even informed both teachers and the administrative office that they were going to be out before we left.

 

I say go for it if you can get away with it. Have fun.

 

We live in New Zealand and the law is different here. Kids still have to complete units and assignments but a lot of the teaching re-visits topics, sort of spiralling around them, so that things missed (or not understood) the first time can be taken on board the next time. Consequently, very few topics are addressed "once and for all".

 

Yes, we do have a truancy problem - who doesn't? But school funding is not tied to school attendance. And there is no such thing as the "no child left behind" legislation. Consequently, school principals are more willing to discuss permitted absence for good reasons.

 

When our kids were aged 17, 16 and 14, DH had to travel for work and we took our teenagers out of school for a whole month. I must be a terrible parent! :D

 

Actually, no, because the kids received assignments and had to complete them while they were away. Each of them travelled with a backpack full of school books and they had to spend time doing school work every day (sometimes on planes, sometimes in hotel rooms). This was a condition of their being allowed to travel - both their schools and their parents insisted on it.

 

We took the kids to the US for this month. They saw the "fun" places, like Disneyland and Disneyworld. But they also visited Washington DC, the Boeing aircraft assembly factory in Seattle, Cape Kennedy Space Centre, and our son (who played the trumpet) had the opportunity to play with a jazz band in New Orleans. They learned a lot - and not just stuff required by their schools.

 

One DS wrote a report about aircraft assembly, with emphasis on the wings, (fortuitously, in Physics, he had been studying the mechanics of flight). And DD, who had been studying marine mammals in school, spent half a day with the dolphins at Sea World, returning with photos and information for her whole class.

 

We would not even have considered taking the kids out of school if they had not been doing well and if they were not conscientious students. They're not perfect by any means, but they did keep up their end of the bargain about doing the school work while they were travelling and, happily, their end-of-year grades and results did not suffer.

 

I'm not sure if you could find as many educational opportunities on a cruise as we found on land. It depends on the itinerary. And our holiday demanded a fair amount of parental input, to seek out places that would educate, as well as entertain, and also to reinforce the need for doing that schoolwork.

 

All things considered, I say take your kids on holiday, as long as they are doing well at school. But, if they are struggling, don't do it.

[celle]

I would say thats too long to take the kids out of school. For me, one week would be the max. But its a personal decision, and if you and their teachers are comfortable with in ...

 

Our high school would never condone nor allow a 3 week vacation.

 

This is my second posting on this thread. Sorry!;)

 

Now that I'm one of the "older generation", I can't help wondering how we ever got educated.

 

I was at school at a time when there were few vaccines for childhood diseases. Diptheria and smallpox were the only things I was immunised against.

 

During the course of my schooling, I missed so much time, due to illnesses today's children do not need to catch. Apart from the usual coughs and sneezes, this is what time I missed off school:

 

• Whooping cough (Pertussis) - 6 weeks
  
• Measles - 3 weeks
  
• German measles (Rubella) - 2 weeks
  
• Mumps - 2 weeks
  
• Chickenpox - 3 weeks
  

In spite of that, I left school literate and numerate, able to spell and write good grammar, and able to do research and think for myself.

[Asil65]

I say go for it. Maybe the kids can keep up with assignments on the computer. We took our kids out of school for 2 weeks to take a trip to Germany. It was something they will always remember. Learning about other cultures and being there to see it is something they can't learn in school.

[Onessa]

Don't know how this came back up again, but it is still an interesting thread. There does seem to be a lot of different views and differing laws.

 

My take is very different then most. . . . What makes you good or bad is how you end up rationalizing this to your children. Its the lesson in making choices and how you make the decision that teaches values to your children. . . . People who rationalize this based on grades or making up school are completely missing what is the more important theme underlying how you made the decision and how your children will remember those choices you made.

 

This is a good point -- I don't know if "grades" or "making up school work" is rationalizing -- THOSE are underlying factors that need to be involved in making the decision.

 

I am concerned about parents who get faked medical excuses to get around laws or rules that do not allow them to otherwise take time away from school.

 

But that you might consider the fact that if my DH and I address a request for excused time off with my DD's school's administrators as something that may in any way be teaching my DD any but the best of lessons, is quite offputting.

 

If my DD's school superintendent, school principal, and her teachers actively support my family's decision, my DD takes away a lesson that her that her teachers trust her -- builds confidence.

 

And the fact that we even consider taking time away from school based my DD's grades and her abilities and willingness to make up schoolwork, is demonstrating to her that hard work can have distinct rewards.

[poppan]

I think it's nice that the parents here are taking their kids education -- not just in school, but in life -- very seriously, and that they are setting up learning opportunities unique to the vacation spot.

 

Just don't do it the way my parents did (they yanked me out of school semi-regularly with little regard for what I might be missing, and no discussion with me or my teachers, even all the way through high school). The way my parents did it communicated to me that school was stupid and didn't matter, that learning had little value, and that a diploma was just a piece of paper.