Moms... do you ever start to stress out...

[SuperLarz]

Hey everyone. I'm getting ready to leave in 2 weeks for my very first cruise! I am SO excited and have been counting down the days!!

 

However... as it will be our 15th anniversary... we are leaving our children at home with their grandparents so that DH and I can enjoy some much-needed ALONE time!! (Kids are "almost-13", 14 and 17) And I am realizing that as my cruise date draws nearer, I find myself having moments of mild anxiety at the thought of being so far away from them.

 

(For the record, we do travel fairly regularly without our kids. We've gone to Hawaii, Canada, Mexico twice, and a number of long-weekend trips.)

 

But something about cruising seems different...

 

I'll be flying from Oregon to San Juan (2 flights down, and 3 flights back) and then on a ship in the middle of the ocean for a week. It just seems like it's a LONG way from home if something were to happen. Know what I mean?? It's not like you can get home quickly if there were an emergency.

 

Now... I'm not usually a "stresser". I'm pretty relaxed and adventurous. And 98% of the time I am purely excited about my upcoming cruise, and not nervous at ALL... but occasionally... a little anxiety rears it's ugly head.

 

I guess I just want to know, from some experienced cruisers, if I am the ONLY one who has ever felt this way?? And will it all go away the moment I set eyes on a cruise ship for the first time in my life??

 

Any thoughts/encouragement would be appreciated!!

Thanks!!

[bubbadog]

Once you get onboard,and get unpacked and stuff,go get a foo foo drink,and then call home to say we're here,and say hi to kids,then you will feel better;)

[GloriaF]

Unless your upcoming cruise is a transatlantic voyage, you will be on land almost every day -- and the ports do have airports that will connect you to Oregon eventually should it be necessary.

 

I think it is a normal reaction. My child is grown, but then comes the worry of aging parents and being able to get home quickly.

 

Just relax and know that there is always a way if you must return home.

 

When in port, call home and check on things, but try not to use the cell phone at sea because the cost is pretty high ($2.95/min) or some similar amount that can add up quickly.

[kellor]

As a mom of 3 teens I understand your feelings. The first time I left them to go on a cruise I had several panic attacks but then you get so busy doing fun things you bascially let it go. We had a high cell phone bill when we got back but I called in everyday just to check in. The second time we left them I used text messages alot and and was much more relaxed; the flip side of this is that it was cheeper.

 

Just remember that teens will be teens, things will not go perfect, but if you have a good plan worked out then you should be able to relax and have a good time -- don't make yourself crazy. If you have ATT, text messages are only 50 cents for you to send them.

 

Good luck and have fun! Lori

[laemerald]

As a mom of 3 teens I understand your feelings. The first time I left them to go on a cruise I had several panic attacks but then you get so busy doing fun things you bascially let it go. We had a high cell phone bill when we got back but I called in everyday just to check in. The second time we left them I used text messages alot and and was much more relaxed; the flip side of this is that it was cheeper.

 

Just remember that teens will be teens, things will not go perfect, but if you have a good plan worked out then you should be able to relax and have a good time -- don't make yourself crazy. If you have ATT, text messages are only 50 cents for you to send them.

 

Good luck and have fun! Lori

Just remember that the greatest gift you can give your kids I have three , are happy parents. P.s. I miss my dog terribly too but a couple of frosty drinks and the sea and youll get better

[DEERINH2O]

A few years back we went on a cruise for a week and it was the first time we left our teens behind. We like you, had traveled before without them but I was feeling stressed being away out to sea, if something happened. My DH and I decided we had everything set up, so we would not worry too much. Guess what, we got on our plane, flew to Florida, headed off to the Caribbean for 7 days of fun and it all turned out Great! Just relax and remeber that everything will be fine and you will be so busy having fun (which I realized we are allowed to have too :D) that you will have the time of your life.

 

Enjoy.... Cruising is addicting.

 

Kathy

[seattle2000]

You can save a little money by emailing them instead of texting or calling everyday, or do a combo of both. Internet service is pricy, but a quick email check-in, combined with calls from ports, cal help keep costs low.

 

I agree that leaving the kids behind can be panic-inducing for some parents, especially moms. One thing that might help is to think if it from THEIR point of view - they get a week away from the 'Rents, get to hang out with Gramma and Grampa and probably get away with minor things that they can't usually do (I dunno - play video games all night long on the weekend?). I still remember when my mom left us with relatives a couple of times so she could take a business or pleasure trip. It was very fun for us kids. And really, the amount of trouble we got into was very minor - along the lines of too much TV and Atari games and ice cream. We never pushed limits, because I loved my grandparents way too much to get THEM into trouble, LOL.

 

As to the other, constant worry that all parents have (car crashes, sudden illness, earthquakes, tornadoes, floods, etc etc), those are just as likely to happen when you are at home as when you are away. You just have to remind yourself that the adults you have left in charge are very, very competent, love your kids as madly as you do, and will do all the right things and stay firmly planted by your child's bedside until you are able to arrive on the very next flight.

 

This is how I get by ;), along with that tall frosty drink..

[SuperLarz]

Yes. You guys are all correct. And thanks for the encouragement!

 

I truly am NOT at all opposed to leaving my kids.(I actually recommend it to my friends with young children as a marriage-booster, and I tell them that you are often a better parent if you can have few days away occasionally for yourself!) So, it's not really the "missing" them that concerns me. (I probably won't actually "miss" them until I'm on my way home! ;))

It is more the "fiery car-crash" or "serious illness" scenarios that cause me stress. But Seattle2000 was absolutely right... those things are just as likely (or UN-likely!) to happen when I'm home, and I am leaving my kids in VERY capable hands that love them as much as I do!! (Wise words, Seattle2000... thanks!) Actually, if my kids were to get sick... they'd probably rather be with Grammy than with me... she's the best "sick mom" in the world!!

 

And I usually don't call much to check in. I'm all for text-messaging and email!! I may call to let them know we landed safely in San Juan, then I'll send occasional emails (with photos attached, of course!) to let 'em know what we're doing, and make 'em a little jealous! LOL

 

So... deep breath... I'll be fine, they'll be fine... no planes or cars will crash... no ships will sink... no one will come down with a life-threatening illness...

 

Here is what will happen... DH and I will get a little sunburnt, drink a few too many frosty beverages, spend too much money, take a million pictures, have a lot of great sex, (oops... did I say that out loud?? ;)) we'll laugh our heads off, and we'll thoroughly enjoy our anniversary!!

 

Our kids will stay up late, watch too much TV (some of which I won't approve of, I'm sure), my DD will have a million sleep-overs, my eldest will wear out the telephone talking to 6 or 7 girls, and my youngest will play video games for 9 days straight and eat nothing but corn dogs and Top Ramen!! :D They'll have a blast!! My parents will spoil them rotten, and when we get home... the first thing the kids will say is.. "What'd you bring me??" :rolleyes:

 

It'll be a FANTASTIC trip!!!

[SuperLarz]

One thing that might help is to think if it from THEIR point of view - they get a week away from the 'Rents, get to hang out with Gramma and Grampa and probably get away with minor things that they can't usually do

 

By the way... I have never heard another person besides my brother and I use the word "Rents" in my entire life!! We have called our parents that since we were teenagers (now both mid-thirties)! How funny!! I even have my parents phone number logged into my cell phone as "The Rents".

 

Cheers to you, Seattle!! Maybe it's a Pacific Northwest thing... I grew up in Spokane, and currently live in Oregon.

 

Anyway... you gave me a smile!! Here's to our Rents!!

[bklynangel]

Hey everyone. I'm getting ready to leave in 2 weeks for my very first cruise! I am SO excited and have been counting down the days!!

 

However... as it will be our 15th anniversary... we are leaving our children at home with their grandparents so that DH and I can enjoy some much-needed ALONE time!! (Kids are "almost-13", 14 and 17) And I am realizing that as my cruise date draws nearer, I find myself having moments of mild anxiety at the thought of being so far away from them.

 

(For the record, we do travel fairly regularly without our kids. We've gone to Hawaii, Canada, Mexico twice, and a number of long-weekend trips.)

 

But something about cruising seems different...

 

I'll be flying from Oregon to San Juan (2 flights down, and 3 flights back) and then on a ship in the middle of the ocean for a week. It just seems like it's a LONG way from home if something were to happen. Know what I mean?? It's not like you can get home quickly if there were an emergency.

 

Now... I'm not usually a "stresser". I'm pretty relaxed and adventurous. And 98% of the time I am purely excited about my upcoming cruise, and not nervous at ALL... but occasionally... a little anxiety rears it's ugly head.

 

I guess I just want to know, from some experienced cruisers, if I am the ONLY one who has ever felt this way?? And will it all go away the moment I set eyes on a cruise ship for the first time in my life??

 

Any thoughts/encouragement would be appreciated!!

Thanks!!

I had the same problem when I went on my first cruise this november without anyone. I even left my 17 year old son home and that bothered me alot. He was all alone and it was driving me crazy worrying but as soon as I got on the ship, I forgot about everything and it turned out to be the best cruise i ever had. Its great that the kids have the grandparent there, my son had no one except the dogs so i had a note notarized stating since he wasnt 18 yet, that my older son can act as guardian while im not there.The older son is 30 miles away. That was in case there is an emergency, they wont wait for a parents signature. You should do that for the grandparents too in case the kids get sick and have to go to the doctors, the grandparents can act on your behalf.

[BoPippy]

This is my DW second cruise away from the kids(young adults now) and boy does she stress.They will be 17 and 20 when we leave in April.They r my step kids,so no affect on me,but she really stresses.I don't really understand,but once on the ship she is OK as long as everyday,she can get on the internet and chit,chat.:eek::eek::eek:

[highrollers]

This is too funny. I felt the exact same way when my DH and I went on our first cruise for our anniversary two years ago. My children were 19, 17 and 9 and my mother was staying with them. I called when I got onboard to tell them all about it. I had purchased a phone card but couldn't get it to work in the ports in Mexico. So I was just going crazy not being able to "check up" on them. We were on the Grand Princess and something was wrong with her and she was going to be unable to go to the Cayman Islands as planned so we received an onboard credit. I thought this was a great opportunity to call home. Yes, I called home from the ship. I don't even recall the cost, but it was high. I knew that I wasn't going to be on long, I just had to hear that everything was ok. Do you know my mother was almost offended. Her response to my calling was "I raised you and you turned out ok, didn't you?" Oops, ya she was right. So after I said a quick hello to all three I hung up the phone and never gave it another thought.

[dleafy]

Your right, cruising is different to your other holidays - it's fan-bloody-tastic.

Know what you mean though, our's is 19 and we still worry.

 

Cheers

 

Davy!!!

[shineycoach]

OK let me start off by saying my wife & I went on our FIRST away without children vacation cruise on August 6th 2008. We left behind a teenage son 17 & a teenage daughter 18. We also left behind 2 hampsters, a cat & my most precious dog SNOOPY the beagle. Snoopy is my world & the kids know it.

Before we booked our cruise we sat down with sister of my wife who has no children, is single & was willing to MOVE into our home for the entire 10 days while we are away. This is a woman that has taken my children for NUMEROUS weekend visits. She is 60 years old but has a heart & soul of a twenty year old so we had no reservation about leaving the kids with Aunt Nancy.

The kids however had an issue with us hiring a "LIVE IN BABYSITTER".

We told them not to see it as a babysitter but more of a house sitter.

They were left specific duties that were easy. Feed the cat, feed the hampsters, let dog out into fenced in backyard as needed, feed the dog & spend extra love time with Snoopy.

About a month before our cruise, our 18 year old daughter announced she was going to be house sitting for some friends at the same time we would be cruising. We agreed to let her go & stated that she still had responsibilities at home. She agreed to go home each day & spend most of the day there. Everything was fine & ready for our vacation. I had nightmares about different things that could happen so we took out some extra house insurance to cover FIRE & THEFT damage. Just in case.

We leave for our cruise & I said I would try & forget about kids & house while away. Our 5th day on cruise I called home while in port. I was told teenage daughter was crying because she got yelled at by Aunt Nancy for the dog pooping on floor. Which now tells me NOBODY is putting the dog out. Now I'm thinking about my poor Snoopy & started getting depressed.

It came close to ruining our vacation. However, my wife took me into the bar & made me have a few drinks. The next day I called & spoke to Aunt Nancy & she assured me that Snoopy was fine & there was no need to be upset. In fact she assured me that unless there was an extreme emergency that I should enjoy my cruise & NOT think about anything else.

To sum things up, I suggest you get a babysitter/ house sitter & go on cruise & forget about house & kids. DO NOT CALL HOME. If its important they will call you.

Now get out there & ENJOY YOUR CRUISE :D

 

Frank aka Shineycoach

[Cruisin' Chick]

My parents started taking vacations to Europe when my brother got to his teens and could watch over us. But I still remember the time my sister decided to cook something in the oven using a silver tray. Just leave a list of phone numbers of local people they can call (I had to call my father's secretary once to take me to a doctor when I got very sick).

 

We take our girl on our vacations. We figure she works hard at school, so she deserves a trip too (and the kids' club means that we have alone time). She's an only child so I can't see her staying by herself, even in a couple of years from now when she's in her teens. And I don't think we would be able to find a suitable adult to watch her for several days, without the two of them driving each other crazy.

[seattle2000]

Superlarz, glad to be of help. My kids are 5 and 8 now, so we still bring them on cruises. But I do look forward to the day when we can cruise without 'em. But I am SURE I will be worried about all the same things!

 

BTW, on our first cruise to Alaska, we made plans to leave our kids in the kid's club while we explored Victoria for its brief evening stop. We live in SEATTLE (an 4-5 hours away), which means that in the worst possible scenario (ship leaves without us), we would easily be able to beat the ship home and meet the kids in port. I did not get 500 feet away from the ship before a complete panic attack took over, and I had to get back onboard. Hubby went to Victoria without me :p So I totally get it (and am now over it-- I can now to port trips without the kids in tow, as need be, thank goodness).

 

Oh, my friends and I used the phrase " 'rents " all throughout my teen years, to the annoyance of our parents. This was during the 70's, so you can figure out how old I am now. They reverted to "Mom and Dad" right around the time I begain regaining my sanity, at age 20 or so.

[babyher]

DW and I have a joke when we cruise (4 so far without the kids 20,16,15)

 

First day out my DW is like , "Oh my babies , I hope they are Ok , I hope they remember to do this, I hope they don't do that "

 

By the 3rd day we are just having a great time and we will joke "This is a pretty necklace , I think whats the girls name linda , lydia ....no no its Lindsay...yea Lindsay will really like this" and the other two are boys right? the really tall kid and the other one they are boys right? :) :)

 

The kids will be fine, they will be with the people who raised you and you turned out Ok right?

 

Go and have a great cruise :)

[kooljamming]

We have struggled with whether to leave or take the kids (ages 13 and 13). Each year we have decided next year is the year, we leave them with grandma. Finally next year is finally here. We are going on our first alone vacation. In the past 5 years we have gone to Jamaica twice, Mexican Riviera, Niagara Falls/Toronto plus two cruises. In 2009 we will return to Mexico and do the Alaska cruise as a family. In 'theory' I am ready to spend a week without hearing the word mom. Depending on how well this alone trip goes, it could happen more often. After booking the cruise, we decided to renew our vows. I wish the kids could have been apart of that. They missed out being apart of the wedding for obvious reasons:D. I am ready in 'theory' and kind of scare that this could be beginning of nice vacations by ourselves. Got to say traveling without the kids is so much cheaper, but a part of me will miss sharing the experience with them. However the whole idea of sitting down and having a chat while sipping on a glass of wine with DH on the aft balcony is so unbelievable exciting. Yeah, I am ready, we earned this and deserve it!

[sparkly]

HAH I am past the kids stage....but this makes me think of our first cruise...all 4 of us in an inside cabin on Sov.Seas. OMG!!!! What were we thinking? Those 2 girls were lucky we didn't throw them overboard...talk about stress in that teensy cabin and teensier bathroom and 4 of us trying to look good. Now it is a suite for the 2 of us, heeheehee.Trust me on this one.....way less stress leaving the lil darlins' home sometimes. It is good for you and they will live!

[SuperLarz]

We have struggled with whether to leave or take the kids (ages 13 and 13). Each year we have decided next year is the year, we leave them with grandma. Finally next year is finally here. We are going on our first alone vacation. In the past 5 years we have gone to Jamaica twice, Mexican Riviera, Niagara Falls/Toronto plus two cruises. In 2009 we will return to Mexico and do the Alaska cruise as a family. In 'theory' I am ready to spend a week without hearing the word mom. Depending on how well this alone trip goes, it could happen more often. After booking the cruise, we decided to renew our vows. I wish the kids could have been apart of that. They missed out being apart of the wedding for obvious reasons:D. I am ready in 'theory' and kind of scare that this could be beginning of nice vacations by ourselves. Got to say traveling without the kids is so much cheaper, but a part of me will miss sharing the experience with them. However the whole idea of sitting down and having a chat while sipping on a glass of wine with DH on the aft balcony is so unbelievable exciting. Yeah, I am ready, we earned this and deserve it!

 

Pauline...

 

You're gonna LOVE it!!! The "alone" vacations that I've had with my husband are some of the best memories of our marriage!! It gives us all this time to just hang out and remember why we fell in love in the first place!

 

My kids are jealous... they've never been on a "tropical" vacation with us. Almost all the trips we've taken (alone) have been "reward" trips, paid for by my DH's work. (therefore, no kids!) We did Hawaii, Cabo, Playa del Carmen and Phoenix, and then have done shorter ones to LA, San Diego, and Victoria BC. Never took the kids.

 

The only time the kids came was to Disneyland in '04 and Disney World in '06, and to Estes Park, Colorado twice.

They are very jealous that we are taking a cruise without them... but you're right... it is SOOOOO expensive for a family of 5 to go ANYWHERE that includes airfare!!! (and we're in Oregon, so EVERYWHERE includes airfare!!)

But I can totally relate to the moment when you see something amazing, and you think "WOW, my kids would LOVE this!!" But trust me... it passes! ;)

 

My new philosophy is that we should try to do both each year. One trip with the kids, and one trip without. And if we can't afford that, than maybe alternate each year. (Right now my kids are behind, their last trip was to Colorado in August '07.) But I don't feel too bad... I never went to tropical places with my parents either. They've got lots of time to travel... and I've earned this!!

 

I'd like to do one more big family trip before my oldest graduates (he's a Junior). Maybe Hawaii or something like that. But, I'm also gonna fully enjoy this special time with just my husband!! And I'm sure you will too!! It sounds like your kids have had some AMAZING experiences in their short lives, and you're right... you deserve a little "grown up" time with no one saying "Mom"!! Good for you!!