Some Notes on Balmoral

[Norfolk Brit]

As threatened, some notes on Balmoral. We were on a Canaries/Maderia cruise, 4 to 17 January, embarking from Dover.

 

Dining: Let's start with my favourite topic. Dining is at set times, 6.30 and 8.30pm, in three separate restaurants: The Ballindalloch, which is the largest, The Spey, and The Avon, both smaller and more intimate. Same food served in all three, and they are allocated on a first-come-first-served basis, ie those who book first get preference. We ate in Spey, late sitting, and it was delightful. Food predominantly traditionally English, with well-sourced and cooked meat, fish and vegetables. My old enemy, the frozen vegetable, made not a single appearance unless it slipped under my watchful radar.

 

Lunch: As we dislike hanging around over lunch, initially we opted for the buffet. Again, food excellent, though salad choices limited, but a bit hectic, as are they all. Staff in there very helpful, allocated a table on arrival, but something to put on it to reserve it thereafter would have been useful. Staff very adept at helping the less able. After a couple of days, we checked out the Ballindolloch open sitting lunch, and discovered that there was a choice of waiter service or buffet, or a combination of both. On sea days thereafter, we lunched in there; perfect for us, as we could whizz in and out in half an hour, and perfect for those who like to linger; a most civilised atmosphere after the buffet, with splended service and food.

 

Breakfast: Again, we used the buffet, which was perfectly fine. Tried the main restaurant once, and they did the customary thing of herding us onto a huge table. It's a little early in the morning for cogent thought, and our tablemates were not those we would have chosen, so thereafter we avoided it. We are not particularly picky, but had to listen to a fellow-breakfaster proffering the novel thought that she knew small boats bounced around a bit, but didn't realised that larger ones did, and another muttering about Olsen's cutbacks, who, when questioned, thought hard then gloomily announced that they had stopped handing out free hats and scarves for British Night. I offered up a silent prayer of thanks...

 

Afternoon Tea: Pretty good content-wise, with proper clotted cream, thank goodness, though held in the buffet and the Marquee Bar, which was inadequate for the numbers involved. Both areas are self-service. One day they served chocolate chip scones with the jam and cream; I can now die happy. Sandwiches left something to be desired, but cakes fabulous.

 

Cabins: We were in a Superior Suite (SS grade, number 9061) roughly midships on deck 9, a most convenient spot, meaning that we used the lift a total of twice (I'd insert a smug smiley if one existed). For those who have cruised with Cunard, it was about one and a half times the size of an A grade cabin, with a partition almost separating the bedroom and sitting room, which contained a two-seater sofa and two (very hard) chairs, a flatscreen TV from which it was possible to access one's account, order wine for dinner, and various other handy little gadgets. TV news was BBC World, and we cheered ourselves greatly by watching the frozen fountains in Trafalgar Square as we checked the progress of our ill-advised sun damage.

 

The balcony was about the same size as an 'A' grade on QM2 (ie not enormous), and some genius had somehow shoved a full-sized sunbed, two chairs, and a table onto it; this left little space for an actual person...

Also in the cabin were two double wardrobes, a total of 30 drawers (this I know because, rather worringly, I counted them), and a huge dressing table. Tea, coffee, those nasty little pots of long-life milk, and a kettle are supplied. Little tip: take your own decent instant coffee, and, as we did, persuade your steward to provide a large carton of milk to keep in the 'fridge. The double bed was the usual two singles shoved together, which also had two separate single duvets. Many of the cabins have non-convertible singles. Avoid the new cabins midships; we heard many reports of noise as the sound-proofing seems to be inadequate; two friends who complained were offered earplugs, but were finally moved when stereophonic snoring from the adjoining cabins became too much to bear. This was the only complaint we heard about cabins from anyone, and the general comment was that even the insides were larger than average, with loads of storage space.

 

Bars: We used the Observatory Lounge, forward on deck 11. It lacked a forward view, as there is a covered area on a lower deck protruding further than the forward bar windows. The side tables have a lovely view, however, and it is a super room with excellent staff and a delightful atmosphere. We made many friends up there, and noticed that very few couples were sitting alone after the first day. Incidentally, rumour had it that the best forward view was from the gym, which seems an awful waste:eek:.

 

Smoking: After the world cruises this year, all Olsen ships become non-smoking inside. It will be permitted on the starboard prom deck, and an area aft of the Lido Lounge, which was my favourite spot. As to whether it is permitted on balconies, I am none the wiser after 13 days onboard. Some bits of pre-cruise paperwork said it isn't, the brochure says it is, the website says it is, as does the bumph in the file in the cabin. It is definitely banned in cabins.

 

The Captain: I never realised how much difference a Captain who keeps one informed makes to a cruise, and ours (take a bow, Captain Trond Lippestad) was a mine of information. We had some fairly interesting seas, but he told us what was likely to happen, kept us informed as to what was happening, and told us, seconds after it had happened, that the starboard stabiliser had broken. For this I was deeply grateful, as being upside down was a little disconcerting.

 

And yes, we'd certainly go with Olsen again.:)

 

Mary

[Parsman]

Many thanks for a very comprehensive review of your cruise on this lovely ship. I have cruised once on it and concur with much of what you have said. I hope it is a good as your description when I travel on her on two legs of its Northern world cruise.

[Norfolk Brit]

Many thanks for a very comprehensive review of your cruise on this lovely ship. I have cruised once on it and concur with much of what you have said. I hope it is a good as your description when I travel on her on two legs of its Northern world cruise.

 

Thank you, Parsman, and I hope you have a wonderful time. We certainly did, and you can rest assured that, if there were problems, I would have mentioned them. I once wrote an excoriating review of P&O's Arcadia, and was practically stoned for my pains:eek:.

 

There may be a little more to follow, as I am aware that there are quite a few omissions.

 

Mary:)

[Norfolk Brit]

Part 2:

 

Embarkation: Shambolic, due to the previous cruise being delayed by three helicopter evacuations involving a diversion to northern Spain. Stuff happens; it's how it is dealt with that matters, and Olsen failed dismally on this one. We received an incomprehensible telephone message from Olsen, which I had to have deciphered by posting a question here on the Olsen boards. We later discovered that many received no message, pretty underwhelming as we were herded into a freezing cold Terminal 1 at Dover and some of the, mainly elderly, would-be passengers were in there for about seven hours.

 

The only catering facility on offer was a revolting burger bar, womanned by a deeply charmless individual who obviously wished to be elsewhere. As Olsen had at least 24 hours notice of the delay, something more satisfactory should have been arranged. And we were charged... not even a complimentary coffee:mad:. Not a good start.

 

Fellow Passengers: Almost without exception extraordinarily friendly, and a similar mix to Cunard. This cruise had been heavily discounted, but none of the problems encountered recently on Ventura:eek:. A smattering of delightful children, but Olsen has no facilities for them, and does not pretend to be child-friendly, so it was up to the parents to keep them amused; they did a very good job. A handful of South Africans, and an Aussie or two, but otherwise all British.

 

Daytime Activities: A similar mix to Cunard, with some very interesting speakers. We were fortunate to have Michael Nicholson (ex ITN war reporter), who was extremely entertaining. A couple of daily quizzes on sea days (since you asked, we won twice, thanks to our team-mates), and a group from Gardener's World, led by a chap who was the best speaker I've ever heard in my life, and I'm not even interested in gardening. Olsen do regular Gardener's World cruises via Victoria Travel, and they looked well worth doing for those interested.

 

No surplus-to-requirements loudspeaker announcements inviting you to bingo, and we saw no sign of art auctions. No intrusive photographers either; they were there, but waited to be asked, a most refreshing change.

 

Evening Entertainment: We haven't a clue; sorry, can't stand it, and make our own:o. Second-hand reports were mixed.

 

Dress: 4 formal nights - much bling, and on a par with Cunard. Very much dressier than our (one) P&O experience. Even on casual nights, many were dressed in suits/cocktail dresses.

 

Report from the Lido Lounge Coven:

 

This was the meeting place for the (few) disgruntled passengers. A major moan was that we missed our last Canary Island stop due to the pier not being long enough; perhaps Olsen had forgotten to mention that Balmoral was stretched a little while ago... Safety reasons were cited, but that did not deter those who had planned to buy their duty-frees there. It was suggested that perhaps their Benson and Hedges might have got wet had they drowned, but they were undeterred.

 

Another, in some ways legitimate, moan was that many of us got an onboard credit due to the drop in fuel prices. Didn't bother us as we used it very rapidly in the bar, but the non-drinkers had to spend it in the shops, which contained the usual array of tack. As pointed out by the coven leader, they had not paid their fuel supplement in goods and chattels, and did not expect it to be thus reimbursed. Discuss...

 

To conclude, Olsen is not a luxury line, and does not market itself as such. In our view, it is considerably better than P&O, and not as good overall as Cunard; as their 'early booking' brochure prices are on a par with Cunard for many categories of cabin, they are expensive. This must be why they have to heavily discount nearly every cruise; at the reduced rates, they are a bargain:).

[Parsman]

I really must commend your style and the contents of your summary. Did you not think that the ship lacked a skillful Cruise Director to co-ordinate all sorts of aspects of the cruise? On my last cruise the young lady seemed more interested in glamour that organisation. It became a competition amongst some "old cruisers" to see how many changes of outfit she could have in one day. A small but partially amusing comment.

One serious aspect of the ship is that it seemd to have had a run of unfortunate incidents over the last few months eg the outbreak of Norvirus, the collision in Dover and finally the frightening events in the storm off Spain last week. Few, if any, were the fault of the ship, its crew or the company. None the less I hope this run of bad luck has come to an end before it sets sail on its interesting and very different world cruise..

[Norfolk Brit]

Thank you, Parsman. Afraid I had absolutely no contact whatsoever with the cruise director, and have no idea who he/she was; perhaps that answers your question:).

 

Like you, I hope the ill-deserved run of bad luck has come to an end, even if only for the delightful ship's doctor's sake; he has had a very difficult time.

 

Are you on the world cruise? If so, would you care to take me along...

 

Mary

[Parsman]

I am on the Singapore /Vancouver sectors of the world cruise. You are place 83 on the waiting list to join me! Happy cruising.

[Norfolk Brit]

You are place 83 on the waiting list to join me! Happy cruising.

 

Highly amusing; thank you:), but not the answer I was hoping for.

 

Have a wonderful time.

 

Mary