The Cruise from Hell

[garigoun]

OK! Enough! What is going on? There are questions to be asked ON A MATTER OF GRAVE PUBLIC CONCERN. It is almost five months now since we had a post concerning:

A CRUISE FROM HELL.

 

Is there something the cruise lines are not telling us? Have all the

CRUISES FROM HELL

been quietly cancelled, just one more unsung and unremarked victim of the global economic downturn?

If so we should be told. We need to be told. It is our right to be told.

The ramifications are immeasurable, people who had heretofore written with delight about their Hellish Cruises will be bereft. The Cruise Critic boards will languish and die due to lack of topics of an infernal nature. Regular posters will forsake the boards and seek other outlets for their ire on boards dedicated to telephone card collecting or soft toy cremating and others of that ilk. What about the congenitally choleric? Without the safety valve of a CRUISE FROM HELL to rant about and so obtain an inner peace their blood pressure will escalate to dangerous levels with the concomitant increase in the cost to the NHS. These are serious times my brothers, these are perilous times my sisters.

 

 

HOWEVER

 

It is my belief that there are still CRUISES FROM HELL taking place. It stands to reason that with the number of cruise boats steaming around the world with their thousands of GUESTS someone somewhere must be having a diabolical time. There will be poor suffering souls who have had to endure a formal evening with someone with a pre-tied tie, perhaps a coloured tie or a coloured DJ. Some anguished wretch will, even as we speak, be eating ‘not quite warm toast’ delivered 3 minutes late by some white-coated and begloved Beelzebubb. Some bewildered and benighted Grill passenger will be sobbing inconsolably because he/she went to a bar and no-one remembered his name of what he/she drinks. Some late booker who got his cruise for £2.99p an hour before sailing time will be incandescent because he has been aboard 10 minutes and no-one has called him Sir. Believe me folks these dreadful things are still taking place. But we are being kept in the dark.. So come on HELL CRUISERS do not hold your sadness in. Do not let your resentment swell like some foul tumour in your bosom. Let us share your pain. Our hearts go out to you, your families and your bank managers. We are here to help. Post Now. Today. Obtain the catharsis of complaint.

(Unless of course your cruise was with Cunard. In which case forget it pal)

Gari

[GAV BOY]

OK! Enough! What is going on? There are questions to be asked ON A MATTER OF GRAVE PUBLIC CONCERN. It is almost five months now since we had a post concerning:

A CRUISE FROM HELL.

 

Is there something the cruise lines are not telling us? Have all the

CRUISES FROM HELL

been quietly cancelled, just one more unsung and unremarked victim of the global economic downturn?

If so we should be told. We need to be told. It is our right to be told.

The ramifications are immeasurable, people who had heretofore written with delight about their Hellish Cruises will be bereft. The Cruise Critic boards will languish and die due to lack of topics of an infernal nature. Regular posters will forsake the boards and seek other outlets for their ire on boards dedicated to telephone card collecting or soft toy cremating and others of that ilk. What about the congenitally choleric? Without the safety valve of a CRUISE FROM HELL to rant about and so obtain an inner peace their blood pressure will escalate to dangerous levels with the concomitant increase in the cost to the NHS. These are serious times my brothers, these are perilous times my sisters.

 

 

HOWEVER

 

It is my belief that there are still CRUISES FROM HELL taking place. It stands to reason that with the number of cruise boats steaming around the world with their thousands of GUESTS someone somewhere must be having a diabolical time. There will be poor suffering souls who have had to endure a formal evening with someone with a pre-tied tie, perhaps a coloured tie or a coloured DJ. Some anguished wretch will, even as we speak, be eating ‘not quite warm toast’ delivered 3 minutes late by some white-coated and begloved Beelzebubb. Some bewildered and benighted Grill passenger will be sobbing inconsolably because he/she went to a bar and no-one remembered his name of what he/she drinks. Some late booker who got his cruise for £2.99p an hour before sailing time will be incandescent because he has been aboard 10 minutes and no-one has called him Sir. Believe me folks these dreadful things are still taking place. But we are being kept in the dark.. So come on HELL CRUISERS do not hold your sadness in. Do not let your resentment swell like some foul tumour in your bosom. Let us share your pain. Our hearts go out to you, your families and your bank managers. We are here to help. Post Now. Today. Obtain the catharsis of complaint.

(Unless of course your cruise was with Cunard. In which case forget it pal)

Gari

 

Words fail me ! :eek: :eek: :eek:

Gav :cool:

[Norfolk Brit]

Words fail me ! :eek: :eek: :eek:

 

Gav :cool:

 

Every cloud...

 

Sir Martin:eek:

[GAV BOY]

Every cloud...

 

Sir Martin:eek:

 

Ouch that hurt ! :eek:

[SeaMatesNYC]

Every cloud...

 

Sir Martin:eek:

 

Bad kitty!:D

[cunardqueen]

And what exactly is this doing on the Cunard thread?

 

Cunard dont do cruises from hell, their passengers are a breed above the rest, heck they even do long range weather forecasts....Self tied bow ties are another matter

 

Its P&O that have the chavvy brigade....

[FIRELT5]

And what exactly is this doing on the Cunard thread?

 

Cunard dont do cruises from hell, their passengers are a breed above the rest, heck they even do long range weather forecasts....Self tied bow ties are another matter

 

Its P&O that have the chavvy brigade....

 

Chavvy Brigade ???? Could you explain this phrase to us Folks in the States :)

[cunardqueen]

Chavvy Brigade ???? Could you explain this phrase to us Folks in the States

 

'chav' (slang) - a young person, often without a high level of education, who follows a particular fashion; Chavs usually wear designer labels including the chav favourite 'Burberry', and if they’re girls, very short skirts, large hoop earrings and stilettos.

 

Chavs see branded baseball caps as a status symbol and wear them at every opportunity. Normally found hanging around shopping centres, and tend to holiday on p&o cruises:eek:

 

Also known as Townies, Kevs, Hood Rats, Charvers, Steeks, Stigs, Bazzas, Yarcos, Ratboys, Chorer, Skangers, Scutters, Janners, Kappa Slappers, Scallies, and Spides. Also known as Neds in Scotland, knackers & skangers in Ireland, and Guidos in the USA

 

I gather the P&O ship Ventura had a rather "interesting" mix on her Xmas cruise

[SeaMatesNYC]

Chavvy Brigade ???? Could you explain this phrase to us Folks in the States :)

 

Definition of "chav" here:

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chav

 

Think track suit, baseball cap, Timberland boots on this side 'o the pond.

[FIRELT5]

I gather the P&O ship Ventura had a rather "interesting" mix on her Xmas cruise

 

Got the US (NY,NJ) Guido term. Hopefully our Voyage on Mary, 11/19/2009 will be "Chav or Guidio Free" lol :)

[GCurry]

Regrettably, are alive and well in Texas, usually with their baseball caps on back wards!

 

Gari should perform a public service for Cruise Critics by taking his Epistle over to the Carnival and Norwegian boards where he'll find no end of malcontents starved for sympathy. The "I even wrote the president of (fill in the blank line) and they refused to totally refund my money!" crowd.

 

Much like a few other things in life, the worst cruise I ever had was wonderful.

[guernseyguy]

Words fail me ! :eek: :eek: :eek:

Gav :cool:

 

Not entirely......:eek:

[SeaMatesNYC]

Got the US (NY,NJ) Guido term. Hopefully our Voyage on Mary, 11/19/2009 will be "Chav or Guidio Free" lol :)

 

Well, (assuming you mean November 17th, 2009) since this is a round trip NYC over a holiday period (which was heavily discounted last year) I would not bet your life on it.:eek:

[FIRELT5]

Well, (assuming you mean November 17th, 2009) since this is a round trip NYC over a holiday period (which was heavily discounted last year) I would not bet your life on it.:eek:

 

The Price for this voyage was just discounted. We received an upgrade to a B5 from a D7 with $500 OBC. Debating if we Should cancel and wait within a month of sailing to rebook ????

[SeaMatesNYC]

The Price for this voyage was just discounted. We received an upgrade to a B5 from a D7 with $500 OBC. Debating if we Should cancel and wait within a month of sailing to rebook ????

 

Sounds like you received a great adjustment. Keep your eyes on it, and if the B5 goes below what you paid, call your TA and ask what more will be coming your way. You may end up in PG at this rate!

[Norfolk Brit]

Chavvy Brigade ???? Could you explain this phrase to us Folks in the States :)

 

Here you are, FIRELT5. My cat, wearing his favourite Burberry hat, the trademark of the Great British Chav.

 

Photograph courtesy of Jimmy, with thanks

Mary

[FIRELT5]

Here you are, FIRELT5. My cat, wearing his favourite Burberry hat, the trademark of the Great British Chav.

 

Photograph courtesy of Jimmy, with thanks

Mary

 

Cute Kitty, Mary :). Just keep in Mind that We never Heard of English Bacon, Blood Pudding or Smashed Peas before sailing on our First Cunard Voyage several years ago. Love the Hat :).

[guernseyguy]

Here you are, FIRELT5. My cat, wearing his favourite Burberry hat, the trademark of the Great British Chav.

Mary

 

Flashing your pussy again?

[heywood]

 

Cunard dont do cruises from hell, their passengers are a breed above the rest

 

but why does every thread include a discussion about reductions; refunds and upgrades?

[SeaMatesNYC]

but why does every thread include a discussion about reductions; refunds and upgrades?

 

Well, old chap, one does not accumulate wealth by spending, what?:eek:

 

(Yeah, yeah, I know, wealth does not breeding make, yadda, yadda, yadda...just being a wiseacre)

[cruisegal101]

I seem to be having difficulty finding cruises that depart from Hell. Can anyone help me?:o

[Cruiser765]

I seem to be having difficulty finding cruises that depart from Hell. Can anyone help me?:o

 

Me too B! Are we missing something here dear! :cool:

 

 

J :)

[garigoun]

I seem to be having difficulty finding cruises that depart from Hell. Can anyone help me?:o

Try your nearest Thomsons they will have a selection.

Gari

[Cruiser765]

Words fail me ! :eek: :eek: :eek:

 

Gav :cool:

 

 

Me too Gav! :eek:

 

J :)

[Cruiser765]

Try your nearest Thomsons they will have a selection.

Gari

 

Guess it's Friday night fever here once more! THOMSONS :confused: Who or what are they please :eek:

 

J :)