what is the wildest,craziest thing you've ever seen on a cruise?

[Sally Forth]

I think there are several of these couples around the world. Friends of mine had very secretive elderly neighbours and after they had known the couple for a while, they were invited, after a barbeque one night, to come see the "baby" room. My friends were quite nervous, because they were thinking it might be some kind of kinky thing. It was a room FULL of dressed up bears, with Beanie babies as the bears' babies. Apparently the ones on good behaviour got put into car seats and taken for road trips.

 

Viv

[Sally Forth]

I have two for sharing: On Explorer the belly flop contest turned badly when a man went in head first and cracked open his bald head, the remainder of the cruise worn a almost turbin. The second on the Diamond Princess, a very nice looking Canadian lady chatted up my husband in the Disco with me on his other arm. She had been drinking, alot, and at the end of the evening told him she wanted to give him her panties so he could go home and tell his friends that Canadian girls "rock". All those stories about girls liking old fat guys must be true.

LOL! Your last line is funnier than the story!

 

Viv

[truecruiser]

Okay, so that doesn't sound so crazy. Well, how about if the gentleman wore the life vest during the entire cruise. Yep - he even wore it over his tuxedo at dinner on formal night. I guess you have to give him credit for being aboard even though he was scared of water.

 

Please tell me you're kidding. I can't imagine this. He must have looked like a nut!

[truecruiser]

A he/she dancing and singing at every karoke and doing all kinds of weird "split" things on the stage in the lounge, with "undergarments a blarin..." Not a very good looking he/she, either.:eek:

[dogboy]

A he/she dancing and singing at every karoke and doing all kinds of weird "split" things on the stage in the lounge, with "undergarments a blarin..." Not a very good looking he/she, either.:eek:

Yea, like it makes a difference if the he/she is good looking or not.:eek:

[gr81]

In March my wife and I took my Father in law on the Carnival Pride. One night all three of us went to the "adult" comedy show. The comedian starts out by saying that the show is pretty raunchy and that daughters may not want to be sitting next to their fathers. The first part of the show was funny but nothing bad or raunchy. He then starts talking about finding the G spot and does a bit (which I am not going to repeat) which did make for an odd moment with me sitting between DW and her dad. To make things worse, a very intoxicated young lady a few rows in front of us decides that the comedian has his facts wrong and starts to heckle him. He took acception and said if she knows so much maybe she would like to go up on stage and demonstrate for everyone. Well she storms the stage, grabs his mic and starts a sex ed class with demonstration (not as bad as it sounds but I wouldnt have wanted kids there). The comedian jumps down and takes a seat in the front row until one of the social hosts showed up and put an end to it.

[ladyjbd3155]

I just found this thread and wanted to say thanks to everyone who shared those stories! They were hilarious.

 

HOWEVER, I *do* have to admit that I hope I don't see anyone having sex in the hot tub on our cruise :eek:

[jimdicap]

TO tuna---that was awesome response!!!

[jetskier]

A couple from my last cruise.

 

1. One night on the Lido deck there was a stocky gentleman with a beautiful slender woman. They were dancing a slow song and every now and then he would literally flip her over his outstreched arm and set her back on her feet.

 

The next night I come around the corner and run into the gentleman who now has a different girl trying to get him to go to the room as he is quite drunk. He looks at me and asks if I thing the girl is beautiful. I says yes she is to which he replies she is in love with you and do I want her. At this point, she is waving her hands as if to say no. She finally gets him to go.

 

About 30 minutes later me and my nephew (21 yrs) run into them at the Bus Stop bar which is on the passageway running the length of the ship which has one-man country singer playing. This same guy is trying to get women to dance with him and the girl is still trying to drag him to the cabin. At this point he spots my nephew and pulls him to the middle of the dance floor and proceeds to slow dance with him. About 30 seconds later, he flips my nephew 360 degrees over his arm and sets him back down. He does this to him 2 more times before the song ends. All the folks go to clapping and the guy finally goes staggering away.

 

Fast forward to 1:30 am and I am on Deck 5 in the purser's area. Guess who comes staggering into the area. Same guy EXCEPT this time he is only wearing his boxers with the hands clasped in front of him. Apparently he locked himself out of his cabin.

 

 

Two nights later I got to watch a drunk do a 3 1/2 tumble down the stairs. This guy had caused a ruckus earlier in the evening. I run over as does the ship's physician as he is curled up in a ball at the bottom of the stairs. The guy initially complains about his back hurting but then starts MF'ing the Doc. After a couple of minutes of this, the guy gets up and refuses to be looked at. His friend helps him down to his cabin. I just happened to pass by their cabin later as the door was being opened and was overwhelmed by the odor of pot being smoked. I ran into Security down the hall and let them know. They called someone to assist them and went to go check the people out.

 

Dave

[WeRockChalkKU]

Yep - the life vest cruiser story is totally true. He just proved that anyone can cruise, even if you're afraid of water. He had a good time despite his fears.

[Mooncastle]

I just love this thread! Thanks for all of the great stories. My first cruise was absolutely wonderful, but nothing crazy. I hope to have some stories to share for my cruise in January (as long as I don't do anything too embarrassing :o ).

[golf43]

We were on a cruise one time. My hubby and I started to chase one another up the stairs to the top deck. He was ahead of me. By the time I got to the top he was laughing his head off. I said what is so funny. He said by the time he got to the top, this lady came out of one of the rooms. She had coollots on. Well all of a sudden she begins to pass wind very loudly. At first she had no idea my hubby was nearby. Then she saw him, I'm sure she was very embarrassed. We laughed over that one. We thought of all kinds of jokes about that.

[ParadiseBound]

These have been a riot to read.. We were on a 14 day mediterranean cruise and noticed a "no nude sunbathing" sign on the pool deck. We got our chairs and sat down. My dad looked over and pointed out a grossly overweight woman laying on a chaze "nude" on her belly. (Mind you her rear end had to be 3 feet wide). He proceeded to take his video camera and go film it. Come to find out she had a thong on but because of her size you couldn't see it. It was the most gross sight but of course we had to watch the video(chuckling) when we gathered at home a month later.

Must of been a memorable pool deck because the same cruise there was an elderly gentleman in a white "spacesuit" sunbathing. It was 85 degrees and the whole cruise he came out and sat in the sun in this spacesuit. My 17 family members had tons of fun on this trip!!

[OUTOFNY]

Was checking out this site to keep me occupied during a slow day at work, thank Gd I was the only one working in my area. Laughed so hard. Thank you all very much. Sorry to bump this without a story, not that one didn't happen. I just can't remember it!

[jetskier]

My wife's uncle thinking the safe in the room was a microwave. They put their food in it and could not figure out how to turn it on.

 

Dave

[cruizinrican]

Now that's funny!

[BillyJen]

Not exactly during a cruise.

 

A friend of mine and I were playing catch with a coconut in Jamaica. This 20 something year old Jamaican saw us and started waving his arms and yelling for us to throw the coconut to him. Well being a good guy, I threw the coconut towards him. When the coconut reached him, he was still waving his arms.

 

Anyhow, the coconut hit him right on his lips and you guess it, it broke a front tooth.

 

This was not funny for the Jamaican and, at the time, I was thinking lawsuit or being beaten up. I'm more of a lover and not a fighter. I had a few Red Stripe beers in my scooter bag. I took a couple of beers, gave it to him and took off before he noticed the broken tooth.

 

Bill

[Rixnsd]

My wife and I went on our first cruise over 12 yrs ago on the Carnival Holiday. It was your typical Party Booze Cruise out of San Pedro Los Angeles except for the fact it was Halloween. Most everyone was dressed up in costumes and all seemed to be having a pretty fun time. We were in the Casino playing Blackjack with one of the piano players from the talent show that night and decided to go to the small lounge next door that had a piano not being used, and have him play a few songs for us. The ship was still pretty heavy with the party hum , people coming and going through this lounge even at 130 am. Two very attractive girls came by dressed in these wild Domi matrix (sp) outfits totally equiped with hats and wips. Being a bit currious I start chatting with them about the creative get up they were wearing. They about floored me when they told me they were the real macoy! I told my wife and a few gathered around the piano player singing away what they told me. My DW laughed so hard and said for me to test the whips out on me and see if they were. OhhhK so I go along with the deal as they all are daring me now to ask em. I do it, and yes they were real. My sore butt could testify. We had the group now building up with a bunch of guys coming out of the casino to see whats going on and all the laughter and rucious. I told all the guys to line up and get smacked as these girls were the real deal. They all started doing it. The party crowd got so big and crowded that the wives in the Casino came out to see what was going on and started getting mad at their Husbands and Boyfriends. About 20 min. latter security came up and made us all go to our cabin ending a very unusual but hilarious Halloween Party that we still laugh about today.

[Samorla]

My very dignified Irish mom agreed to watch my daughter, then 9 yo, while I got a massage. My daughter is part seal and spends as much time as possible in the pool. The seas were very high and the water was sloshing wildly in the small pool. My daughter jumped in and was having a blast. She begged my mom to join her and eventually Granny tried to get in with her only to be slammed against the sides with every wave, and couldn't get out. My mom was mortified when one of the officers approached and said "madame that is not safe". My mom already knew she shouldn't have gotten in but couldn't get back out. They were both laughing so hard they needed help getting out of the pool. I noticed later that they put a net over the pools to stop anyone else from getting in. My daughter and mom will never forget that bonding experience.

 

I had my own swimming embarrassment during a shorex swim on St Martin. I will admit I'm not swimsuit model material. I was staying out in the water, admiring the French military guys running in formation along the beach;). Very impressive until a huge wave picked me up and deposited me rolling like a beached whale at their feet. I foundered in the waves, unable to get up as dozens of beautiful young men averted their eyes (or I can only hope they did).:eek:

[cruie4ever]

We were on a Celebrity cruise & watching the newly wed & not so newly wed game.Well any of you who have gone to these shows know how funny it can be. One question to a man who was some 30 years married was "what is it that your wife cooks that you don't like".His reply was nothing.The CD said what you mean you like every thing your wife cooks. He replies oh no she hasn't ever cooked.Then he goes on to explain,You see we are both career attorneys & we either go to retaurants or have frozen dinners.THE CD says for over 30 years.He says yep that's correct.

 

When he said that I couldn't stop laughing .This is a good one for the ladies:D

[cruie4ever]

Sailing on Celebrity Mercury for 10 nights Mexican Riviera. We are leaving the harbor fom Z/Ixtapa . We see this speed boat coming from the shoreline & someone waving a orange life jacket to get the ships attention.Well aftrer about 10 minutes the small speed boat pulls up with two women in their 50s or 60s to board the ship.The ship places a rope ladder from the side & they place life vests on these 2 ladies & get them up & into the ship.

 

Later on we heard that they fell asleep on the beach & had no idea the time.The morale is don't miss the ship & pay for a extra cruise.:D

[cruie4ever]

This is really funny.It happened on our Hawaii sailing Nov 2005 on Celeberity Infiniti.It was another newly wed & not so newly wed game.The CD goes to the 2nd couple ,married say 12 years & asks her what is it that your husband first touches when he wakes up in the morning & her reply is he grabs my crotch. Well I can't beging to tell you the crowd roared & roared .:D :D :D

[cruie4ever]

:D Been reading & howling at these posts for days.Takes my mind off my hip surgery this Saturday.

As I read these posts more & more fun things are remebered from our cruises.

It was 2000 we cruised on RCCL Rapsody of the Seas from San Diego to the Mexican Riviera with our youngest daughter,son in law & 4 grand children. The children could order whatever they wanted for dinner.Our 5 year old grandaughter ordered a plate of cherries & hot coco .Since we took her & our grandson of 8 into our cabin of quads & our daughter,son in law the baby & a 15 year old grand daughter had the quad next to us.Around 11:30PM our 5 year old grand daughter says she is hungry .So grandpa takes her up on deck & she polishes off a hot dog & fries.The next day she ordered menu food.

[mama02girls]

Anyone who has ever dieted will appreciate this one.

I had gained weight but still thought I could fit into a beautiful beaded dress I had worn on my last cruise. I took it along without retrying it on-come on, it was only 10 pounds “or so” I had gained! Anyway, my D’s who were in another room, came in to make sure which dress I was wearing , as we had somewhat tried to color coordinate our outfits for the picture that night.

I was in the bathroom dressing , and had trouble with the zipper. I told my husband to go get in line for the pictures awhile with my two daughters and I’d be right there. (I was embarrassed that I couldn’t get it zipped, but felt sure I could).

So the family leaves and after taking off my underslip to make more room, I finally get the thing zipped. I lean over to gather my purse and hear the dreaded “sound”. Well, I look in the mirror and see that although the stitching has come undone a little, it’s not the actual zipper, and with my hair, you can’t see the place…all is still well.

I can’t find my room key and figure that the hubby took both, so out I go, shutting the door behind me. As I walk down the hall, I hear it again, “the sound”. But now I begin to feel the cool breeze on my back. I reach back an feel that yes, the zipper has now begun to go, and yes, the dress is ripping-but its still a relatively small tear. I decide to proceed and just have the picture taken and have my family stand behind me in the picture line. As I reach the stairs, I take one step and the loudest sound of all, as the hip seam rips. OK so I had no business wearing this thing.

At that very moment I got the giggles, and realized how ridiculous I was being by trying to wear this dress. I started laughing and rested my back against the railing. A couple passed me and smiled, wondering why I was standing there grinning from ear to ear and being “very friendly” to them. I was just trying not to crack up laughing. I continued to stand there in my beautiful dress (which is now backless and minus a hip seam). I knew I didn’t have my room key so I just stood there laughing and not moving! An older gentleman passes and starts up the stairs and turns to ask if I am OK. He thinks I am crying because I am laughing so hard that I AM crying. I literally wave himoff, not daring to move, and as he is leaving he says, “Well, you look absolutely gorgeous.” This sends me into more fits of laughing hysteria. He leaves and I look down, to see beads all over the floor where I have been standing. At this point, I am laughing so hard that I begin to wet myself. I turn and run down the hall back to my room dress ripping with almost every step, only to stand outside with no key. After only a minute or so, a cabin steward (not mine) came by. He didn't want to let me in, but i kept my butt against the wall and turned my upper back and he says, OH OH OH, and let me in. I slithered along the wall dying laughing, and I'm sure he too thought I was crying. I changed EVERYTHING. As I was almost ready for the second time, my husband and daughters came back to checkon me. I opened the door non chalantly and said, “the white dress didn’t fit so well”. Nobody in my family knows to this day what really happened. Maybe I should let the read this. Nah. :rolleyes:

[pierces]

Here's the pool statue from the Infinity...after someone took pity on it's bronze nakedness!

 

 

Dave