what is the wildest,craziest thing you've ever seen on a cruise?

[stowaway2k]

At dinner in the dining room one night we were talking about how much sun we had all gotten during the cruise. We were a table of 8, all strangers to each other.

One woman, a wealthy widow in her 70's, wanted to convince me that her sking tone was natural and not a tan. I was perfectly willing to believe her, but she felt I needed convincing.

So she pulled out her left breast to show me that her sking tone was not from the sun. :eek:

At dinner, in the dining room. :D

[patrice1]

Anyone who has ever dieted will appreciate this one.

 

I had gained weight but still thought I could fit into a beautiful beaded dress I had worn on my last cruise. I took it along without retrying it on-come on, it was only 10 pounds “or so” I had gained! Anyway, my D’s who were in another room, came in to make sure which dress I was wearing , as we had somewhat tried to color coordinate our outfits for the picture that night.

I was in the bathroom dressing , and had trouble with the zipper. I told my husband to go get in line for the pictures awhile with my two daughters and I’d be right there. (I was embarrassed that I couldn’t get it zipped, but felt sure I could).

So the family leaves and after taking off my underslip to make more room, I finally get the thing zipped. I lean over to gather my purse and hear the dreaded “sound”. Well, I look in the mirror and see that although the stitching has come undone a little, it’s not the actual zipper, and with my hair, you can’t see the place…all is still well.

I can’t find my room key and figure that the hubby took both, so out I go, shutting the door behind me. As I walk down the hall, I hear it again, “the sound”. But now I begin to feel the cool breeze on my back. I reach back an feel that yes, the zipper has now begun to go, and yes, the dress is ripping-but its still a relatively small tear. I decide to proceed and just have the picture taken and have my family stand behind me in the picture line. As I reach the stairs, I take one step and the loudest sound of all, as the hip seam rips. OK so I had no business wearing this thing.

At that very moment I got the giggles, and realized how ridiculous I was being by trying to wear this dress. I started laughing and rested my back against the railing. A couple passed me and smiled, wondering why I was standing there grinning from ear to ear and being “very friendly” to them. I was just trying not to crack up laughing. I continued to stand there in my beautiful dress (which is now backless and minus a hip seam). I knew I didn’t have my room key so I just stood there laughing and not moving! An older gentleman passes and starts up the stairs and turns to ask if I am OK. He thinks I am crying because I am laughing so hard that I AM crying. I literally wave himoff, not daring to move, and as he is leaving he says, “Well, you look absolutely gorgeous.” This sends me into more fits of laughing hysteria. He leaves and I look down, to see beads all over the floor where I have been standing. At this point, I am laughing so hard that I begin to wet myself. I turn and run down the hall back to my room dress ripping with almost every step, only to stand outside with no key. After only a minute or so, a cabin steward (not mine) came by. He didn't want to let me in, but i kept my butt against the wall and turned my upper back and he says, OH OH OH, and let me in. I slithered along the wall dying laughing, and I'm sure he too thought I was crying. I changed EVERYTHING. As I was almost ready for the second time, my husband and daughters came back to checkon me. I opened the door non chalantly and said, “the white dress didn’t fit so well”. Nobody in my family knows to this day what really happened. Maybe I should let the read this. Nah. :rolleyes:

 

I don't believe I've ever read a post as funny as this one.:D Thank you.

[princess&brick]

My wife's uncle thinking the safe in the room was a microwave. They put their food in it and could not figure out how to turn it on.

 

Dave

 

 

was this a carnival cruise in may of 06?

[Taylor_Dene]

Hubby and were on the Norwegian Majesty in November 05--our first cruise--when we heard that familiar sound. Apparently a woman and her daughter planted a remote-controlled FART machine in a plant pot near the main staircase and watching everybody's reactions.

These two guys who looked like something out of the movie DELIVERANCE--shabby ball caps, grungy, more toes than teeth, passed by the plant pot and the lady hit the button. One guy looked at the other for a second and said, "Aw hell, I can do one better'n that!"

 

Not one minute later this nice Indonesian stewart came through cleaning things and picked up the FART machine, looking at it sort of confused, while it was still going BLAAAAAT! BLAAAAAAT! right at him. He cleaned it and put it back in the plant pot and kept cleaning as though nothing happened. I was crying with laughter right about then. The bartenders nearby were watching the whole thing and almost had an accident,they were laughing so hard!

 

Thanks for making me laugh so incredibly loud!!!!

[jetskier]

was this a carnival cruise in may of 06?

 

It was on the CCL Fantasy on our Oct 30th, 2006 cruise.

Dave

[Guest BeckyThane]

The wildest thing...

 

Norwegian Dawn -- St. Maarten -- January 2, 2007

 

As our snorkeling catamaran was passing by the ship on the way back to the pier, I look up and what do I see? A naked man standing on his balcony, smiling down to all of us staring slack-jawed up at him! We (who have all been well-plied with rum colored with a dash of orange soda, the captain's special rum punch!) all crack up and nearly fall off our seats laughing. The quick-witted fellow sitting next to me makes hand motions up at Mr. Commando, as if to say, "You've got a really small winky!" I'm sure all of us laughing our behinds off didn't help Mr. Commando's ego. :D

[Grammy111]

This had me in stiches! Such a funny story. I wish I knew you in real life!!

[Guest BeckyThane]

This had me in stiches! Such a funny story. I wish I knew you in real life!!

Thanks, Ann!

 

I seem to be "Born to Cruise!" too, so maybe we will meet someday!!!

[Ephraim]

Okay, time to add a few of our own...

 

We were on the NCL Wind on a Western Caribbean cruise and the casino was very convivial. There was a loud but very nice honeymooning couple. The a day or two later she comes in with her very short hair in corn rows. Most of it sticking up from the top of her head because he hair was really too short for braiding. Anyway, I stopped to talk to her and she was complaining about a headache. Not because of the corn rows themselves, but because her head kept on hitting the headboard during the "celebrations" and the corn rows were digging into her head each time. But she didn't want to tell her new hubby about the problem they were causing and she didn't want to remove the corn rows because of how much the hubby had paid for them.

 

~*~

 

We are an openly Gay couple. We were on the Golden Princess and had met a lot of very nice couples. One British couple invited us to dine with them on the formal night with another British couple, their friends. We accepted. Everyone was well dressed, but the wife had been drinking these drinks that looked like windshield washer fluid and was becoming quite BOLD. She started asking us totally inappropriate questions about our sexual preferences and positions and the like. He husband was blushing red. I was deftly avoiding answered and all in all it was a fantastic evening and we really enjoyed it.

 

So, out we go together for the champagne pouring. All a lot of the cruise staff knows us and is very friendly with us. So, as the pouring is going on, they all come by to say hello to us and we do introductions. She's still quite BOLD and she starts asking the cruise staff questions about their sexual orientation and other indiscreet questions. We found out more information about some of the cruise staff than we really needed to know, that night. And then we start to notice that the cruise staff is avoiding walking around our area for the rest of the evening.

 

We talked to the them the next day and we all had a laugh about it. They thought that it was as hilarious as we did.

 

~*~

 

We had lunch on the Golden one day in the dining room and this extremely thin women and her mother are seated at a shared table with us. So she starts talking about the fact that she is on a "no fat" diet. She orders yoghurt, but they only have low fat and not fat-free. She asked about the Salmon and we told it had fat but it was the good fat, she didn't care... she was eating only no fat foods. So all she could eat was some salad with no dressing. And all I could think was... how sad, to go on a cruise and eat nothing in the delusion that any and all fat is bad.

[Sea Hag]

We were on a round trip San Francisco cruise on Norwegian. First or second night, we were in the show lounge waiting for the show to start. As is usual, the band was playing dance music, but nobody was getting up to dance. Nobody!

 

So, one guy decided to take matters into his own hands. He got up and danced by himself, very nicely too. After that, some couples got up. I really admired the guy for diving right in like that!

[rockwood84]

Ok, I haven't read all of these stories (although I plan to try), but I did a search and didn't see this one.

 

On the Jubilee from Tampa in 2002, we were sitting by the aft pool on the last day at sea. A man came out on deck carrying his wife, who was dressed in a bright blue sparkly mermaid suit.:p He placed her on the side of the pool, where she stayed all day. She did swim a bit (apparently the thing was made for swimming), and she played the part all day long. A couple of people asked her where she got it, and she kept saying things like "Why, I'm a mermaid, it's my skin." If anyone touched the fabric, she would twitch her feet. DH kept looking around and saying "There's something fishy about this!"

 

We saw her at dinner that night, sporting a bad sunburn. The news had even spread among the staff - we mentioned it to our waiters, and they had already heard about it.

[jackson8]

On the Enchantment this past November my sister, my friend, and myself were leaving the dance club at about 2:30 am. We had made friends with our tablemates (2 guys a little younger than us) Anyways, we were all heading back to our cabins when this lady (I am guessing late 60's) comes to the steps and is so drunk she nearly falls right down the steps. One of the guys offers to walk her down, she accepts. We get to her floor and watch her try and find her room, she was extremley lost. So this guy actually took her to her room and helped her into bed; all the while her husband is sound asleep in the bed:D

[dvrdude]

On the Enchantment this past November my sister, my friend, and myself were leaving the dance club at about 2:30 am. We had made friends with our tablemates (2 guys a little younger than us) Anyways, we were all heading back to our cabins when this lady (I am guessing late 60's) comes to the steps and is so drunk she nearly falls right down the steps. One of the guys offers to walk her down, she accepts. We get to her floor and watch her try and find her room, she was extremley lost. So this guy actually took her to her room and helped her into bed; all the while her husband is sound asleep in the bed:D

 

Kudos to the good samaritan, but I'd think twice about that in this day and age.

[yakdaddy42]

i got hit on by a hooker in the hot tub one night on the pride. she wanted $200.00 for a night.

[pennstateray]

several years ago this happened on a celebrity cruise during the newly wed game. a man in his 30's was asked by the mc where was the strangest place you and your wife ever had sex. after a moment he replied "in an elevator". the mc pushed futher and asked "where" after several moments he replied "on this ship". when the wife was asked the same question, she fixed a stare on the mc and began turning red. after several request for an answer the wife said in a very low voice "an elevator". not stopping there the mc asked "where"? by now the wife was beyond red. but did say "on this ship". saw them later on the cruise getting off an empty elevator as i was getting on. had to wonder what might have happened moments before.

[compucruiser]

<politically correct filter mode off>

 

So we're in San Diego, taking the crowded elevator up to the embarkation lunch when a large 5x5 woman gets on. Just as the elevator reaches the

top floor, her cell phone rings. After she gets off, someone in the back says

"Whew, I thought she was going to start backing up."

 

<filter on>

 

(As an explanation to foreign readers, large trucks will beep as a warning

when backing in reverse.)

[compucruiser]

Sorry if I offended anyone with the previous post. (I'm kinda large

myself).

 

Here's a wild thing we saw that wasn't very funny:

 

On the Celebrity Zenith, Christmas Cruise 1999? going through the

Panama Canal. This cruise took us from Acapulco to San Juan.

 

Unfortunately, we did not know this cruise was booked with so

many teenagers. Turns out that a TA in Mexico was selling back-

to-back Xmas/New Years cruises R/T Acapulco for the same price

as US customers were getting for one way. Great bargain for a

large family - I'd certainly take advantage of a deal like that.;)

 

On this cruise, the teenagers were out of control. :mad: They lit the napkins

(in the glasses) on fire, threw chairs and tables overboard. They

made crank phone calls to other cabins in the middle of the night.

(We got several of these, at 2-3 AM) They also knocked on cabin doors.

The teenagers and small children (as young as 2, with bottles) were

literally running around the casino at 1 AM.

 

We heard from our room steward that the kids were in their own

cabins separate from their parents and were trashing the cabins.

Like the worst nightmare - couches torn, pillows ripped, etc.

 

The complaint line of people leading to the Purser's office was so long I

figured they got the message. One passenger circulated a petition, and

faxed it to the CEO of Celebrity. I heard there was a class action suit.

 

But on the other hand, we managed to have a nice time. :D(I'd have

a nice time on any cruise, short of sinking.) We just avoided the areas

the teenagers were likely to be without their parents.

[jeph]

I'm just back from a GREAT 9-day Mexican Riviera cruise (rt from San Diego) on Celebrity's "Mercury". (Sure picked a perfect time to miss some nasty northeast winter weather!)

 

On the third or fourth night, there was evidently some kind of misprint in the Mercury's daily schedule, in that the dress code called for was "informal", when it was actually a "resort casual" night. I happened to pass by the front desk in the main lobby when this middle-aged woman was unloading on one of the young female receptionists about the error. Now, this passenger was wearing a black beaded dress that would have been perfectly appropriate even for formal night, and was just FURIOUS that she had gotten herself all dolled up when lots of guys were strolling around in short-sleeved, brightly colored tropical shirts. "Well!" she fumed, "It's too late for me to change now, and since I've gone to all this trouble for NOTHING, when the next INFORMAL night comes, I'm going to dress CASUAL!! And there's nothing you can do about it!!"-- or equally ridiculous words to that effect. She than stalked off toward the dining room before the baffled receptionist could even apologize. Watching this, open-mouthed, I practically burst out laughing.

 

Sheesh, lady! Cheer down and enjoy your vacation, willya?!:eek:

[jeph]

I'm just back from a GREAT 9-day Mexican Riviera cruise (rt from San Diego) on Celebrity's "Mercury". (Sure picked a perfect time to miss some nasty northeast winter weather!)

 

On the third or fourth night, there was evidently some kind of misprint in the Mercury's daily schedule, in that the dress code called for was "informal", when it was actually a "resort casual" night. I happened to pass by the front desk in the main lobby when this middle-aged woman was unloading on one of the young female receptionists about the error. Now, this passenger was wearing a black beaded dress that would have been perfectly appropriate even for formal night, and was just FURIOUS that she had gotten herself all dolled up when lots of guys were strolling around in short-sleeved, brightly colored tropical shirts. "Well!" she fumed, "It's too late for me to change now, and since I've gone to all this trouble for NOTHING, when the next INFORMAL night comes, I'm going to dress CASUAL!! And there's nothing you can do about it!!"-- or equally ridiculous words to that effect. She than stalked off toward the dining room before the baffled receptionist could even apologize. Watching this, open-mouthed, I practically burst out laughing.

 

Sheesh, lady! Cheer down and enjoy your vacation, willya?!:eek:

[AZbeachboy]

My sister and I had just boarded the Fascination in Puerto Rico for a Southern Caribbean cruise back in 1997. We made our way up to the Lido Deck for the Welcome Aboard Party. We went out and looked over the balcony to see what we could see there in PR. We looked down at the stone walls below the ship and, I kid you not, there was a naked man walking along the top of the walls. He couldn't be seen from the ground level, only people up on the ship could see, so I know he did it for our "viewing pleasure"! For some reason we had left our cameras in the cabin, never dreaming we'd be having such sights to photograph before we ever left the port!!!

 

How come its always a naked man and never a naked woman, lol

[Donna - dsw]

We were on a cruise and kept feeling water drops at our table. Our waiters felt this also. Next thing ya know the table next to us is feeling it too. Everyone was looking at the ceiling and trying to find the leak. Finally, we see a guy a couple tables over with a water gun and he was shooting it at people in the dinning room.

[mjs125]

I have absolutely no idea how I stumbled on this thread but I am so glad I did. These stories are hilarious and it is soooooo comforting to know that I'm not the only one that made a bit of a fool out of myself on a cruise! I will only give up one instance (although there were many more...let's just blame it on the alcohol :p )...I decided to take a walk on the last formal night on the Promenade deck when it just happened to be a bit windy and I gave the folks sitting in the bar just inside the door a great show as the wind rearranged my skirt. Although I still think the funniest thing from that cruise was the night two of my friends decided to change two of the other people in our group's room service breakfast order----instead of the eggs, bacon, and sausage they were expecting they got skim milk and stewed prunes. Ah, the memories!! :D

[cruie4ever]

:D Too Too Funny LMAO

 

Do you hear me howling LOL:D

[Jeanie821]

I was on the Enchantment of the Seas two weeks ago with a group of 130 single born-again Christians. (I didn't know there were that many of us.) One of our group showed up to dinner the first night dressed as a pirate. The next night, formal night, he showed up dressed as Elvis - right down to the really bad hair. I was sorry I forgot to bring my camera to dinner!

[Murman]

In January of 1996 my wife and I took our first cruise to the Bahamas on the Carnival Ecstasy with her brother and his wife. While we were there, we all went on a snorkeling excursion. While we were in the water, (we were just holding on to our life jackets rather than wearing them), my brother-in-law wanted to take an underwater picture of my wife an me, so we had to let go of our jackets so we could go under water. This would be a good time to tell you I’m am not a good swimmer. While we were getting ready to hold hands and go under water, my wife’s flippers tangled up with mine and I started to sink. Well I just wanted to get my wife "away" from me so I gave her a gentle little "push" so she would float away. However, when I pushed her, she went under water, and came up coughing, and hacking salt water. She let out a great big hack, and she threw up in the water, and it was floating in front of her. No sooner did that happen; a flock of sea gulls came swooping down to eat what was floating in the water. We all had to swim away to get away from all of the birds. Later that evening, while we were getting ready for dinner, our cabin steward came by our cabin with a trophy that said "Best Snorkeler Award". He stated that it was from the Captain. We just assumed that someone else who was on the excursion with us felt sorry for what my wife went through, and had told the captain, and he sent the "trophy" down to make my wife feel better. Well about 6 years later, and after telling our "trophy" story about a dozen times, my brother-in-law finally admits he was the one that bought the trophy, and gave the cabin steward a tip to say it was from the captain. He was planning to tell my wife that night, but he said he couldn’t because she was so proud of it. So he let her believe it was from the captain, until he thought she wouldn’t kill him. She didn’t, and since she has a great sense of humor was able to laugh about it.