CDR Benson

I take your words very kindly, sir. My regard for others hearkens to the concept behind the salute. Yes, the junior initiates the salute, but it must be acknowledged and returned by the senior. Hence, it's a gesture of MUTUAL respect. (I have a story on how that was impressed on me by someone who had no idea that he had done so, but it's long and unnecessary to recount here.) I've maintained that perspective all of my life--- that men of good will, regardless of their station in life, are deserving of respect. The Good Mrs. Benson feels I'm too stiff with people---I insist on addressing people by their honorifics and last names; I use the proper formats for introductions; I stand when a lady enters the room; and the like. But these are the gestures in civilian society which indicate mutual respect between two persons. Everyone wants to liked, but it's more important to them to be respected. Which is a good thing for me. You're genial and a hail-well-met fellow, Mr. Tilkin, in a way that I never can be. I don't wear a uniform anymore, but my silver oak leaves may as well be tattooed on my forehead, it's that obvious that I'm a military man. I'm not readily likeable, but people know I respect them, their positions, and their duties. That is the lubrication which allows our society, with its people of disparate backgrounds and attitudes, to work. You mentioned situations when your subordinates came to you with complaints about problems with co-workers. Your response, "Have you discussed the issue with him?", is a sound one, to be sure. But I imagine that many of those frictions wouldn't have arisen if the two co-workers involved showed those mutual gestures of respect from the beginning. O.K., end of soapbox. And again, Mr. Tilkin, thank you for your good words. We return you now to the regular thread, already in progress . . .

The Good Mrs. Benson and I are still cogitating over what to put on our list of requests in our letter to the butler. I told her not to be conservative in her wishes. In the draught of my "Gary" letter. I've included the phraseology: "We understand if ship's protocols prevent a particular request from being carried out." That should cover us, in case the GMB asks for a ride on a unicorn or a date with Harrison Ford.

There's no such thing as too much planning. My wife is glad that I like to do it for our cruises.