cmcsharon

Part 8...Belize…continues

Thank you again for all the kind comments. I really do appreciate them. Now back to Belize…

I finally make it over to the table for dinner…and of course, I don’t tell a soul that I’ve been standing at the other end of the dining room like an idiot (they’re finding that out now since they’re reading along). As we’re eating, the conversations drift to how everyone spent their day in Belize. I share our pictures from Xunantunich…the snorkeling adventure is shared…and, a third group says that they went to the port to do a little shopping and then they returned to the ship.

I’m not a good judge of the actual port and it’s shopping opportunities because we were rushed right through it in the morning to get to the bus…and then when we got back we were rushed to get in the line for the last tenders…so, I saw very little of it. I did get to see the 3 very stern looking security guards, dressed in military style fatigues, holding their weapons at the ready…which was very unsettling since those weapons were directed at all of us in the tender line. I kept looking over my shoulder at the open water behind me thinking…is there a Kracken coming up out of the ocean behind me? What am I missing? I wasn’t sure if they were mad that we’re leaving or mad that we were there…either way, I didn’t get a warm and fuzzy feeling from the port of Belize. But…my son was carrying 3 bottles of Marie Sharp’s hot sauce so we can consider the day a success.

I really do highly recommend the excursion out to the Xunantunich ruins. It was an unbelievable experience. I had heard that some private vendors offer it as well, and I’m all for using private vendors most of the time, but at this destination, because of the time it takes to get out there and back…I wouldn’t have considered going if I wasn’t on a Carnival excursion. If I’m going to be left behind at a Caribbean port…please let it be on an island and not a third world country.

Imagine my surprise when we’re finishing our dessert and the conversation suddenly turns to the bird phenomenon. Remember the glow in the dark bird story from the bus ride this morning? Some of the minions now claim to have seen them too. They said it was around 1:00 or 2:00am when the minions, staying up on deck 10, noticed them out the window. Hundreds of birds flying around the ship. They called one of the minions down on deck 2 to see if they could see them there too.

Just imagine getting that call…you’re sound asleep in bed…the phone rings…and…it’s a minion asking if you can see hundreds of glowing birds.....…outside your window…….…in the middle of the ocean.

I know how I would respond…do you also see a large pink rabbit sitting in your room?

I’m guessing that’s why they didn’t call me.

The minions on deck 2 confirm to us that they also saw the birds. Hundreds of them. Flying outside their window. The minions up on deck 10 even went out on their balcony to watch the birds until it started to turn eerily in to the movie ‘The Birds’ as the birds got closer and closer to them and then one of the minions was struck by a bird…so they ran back inside and watched from the safety of their cabin. The large pink rabbit watched too.

After dinner we did our usual things…the kids would split up from us and I would join the minions in other activities around the ship…anything from going to shows, listening to the music, playing in the casino, shopping in the stores, walking out on the decks, watching the movies on the lido deck, playing cards against humanity…or just people watching. I am happy doing anything…or…nothing. I’m easily entertained!

But, I started to feel bad when I noticed a pattern with the kids. We’ve been on this ship for many days now and in the evenings I’d come back to the cabin to find them both watching tv. Usually with plates of pizza or popcorn or smoothies…but always in the cabin watching tv. So, as I was passing through this evening I made the comment that I was sorry if they haven’t been able to find things to do on the ship that they like, since they’re spending so much time in the cabin. It was my son that answered…he said he and his sister had just been talking about that very thing…and that this…is the BEST VACATION EVER!

You see…my son lives in an apartment with 2 of his friends…his sister was away at college living with 3 students…neither of them have a tv where they live. They were having the best time just hanging out and watching tv together! Awwwww! I was a happy mom. :) In reality…they probably planned this little tug on my heart strings so that I’d keep taking them along on cruises with me...and...it’s working!

Later that night, around 2:00am, I suddenly wake from a deep sleep. I’m not sure I’m awake though because it appears I’m in the middle of a dance party. The room is lit up with a rapid strobe light firing off over and over. I’m starting to wake a little more and see my son sitting on his bed and he says…it’s lightning.

I quickly jump out of bed and head for the balcony to go out and watch…we have wimpy lightning in California…this was crazy…I wanted to see it. I step out on the balcony and let my eyes adjust to the constant flashes and then I see it…surrounding the ship, in the middle of a lightning storm…are hundreds of birds! Dark small birds, the size of a robin…and they have a patch of white feathers on their chest that was reflecting the lights from the ship. It was amazing! I stepped back in to the cabin and told my son and he came out and watched too. We’ve been fortunate to get to see hundreds of spinner dolphins on a cruise to Mexico and a pod of whales on a cruise in Alaska…but…hundreds of birds…in the middle of the ocean…this was an unexpected sight. It was awesome!

I thought I had more pictures for Belize but it turns out they’re Cozumel…so…

Next up…Part 9…our last port...Cozumel (Harbor fails, Captain Jack Sparrow on crack…and…turning your lips purple with Jalapeno Margaritas)

Belize…continues…

Have I mentioned how hot it is in Belize this day? It was cool on the long tender ride over, but now that we are in full sun and climbing up the front of this giant heated monument…it’s really hot! I had heard that mosquitos and other bugs could be a problem here so I brought along bug protection…but, on the bus ride over our guides said not to bother…as it’s too hot for the bugs!

Below my daughter stops for a picture after the first section of steps…and these steps are huge…each one is like 3 regular steps…and…she’s already not liking being up this high.

Finally we reach the end of the steps and pass through the 13 doorways…which the Mayans believed were significant somehow. I don’t quite remember what they signified…but they crossed them to meet up with something…and it was something that made me a little leary. I believe they signified they crossed them to get to the afterlife…or maybe you met up with used car salesman…I’m feeling leary either way.

We’re halfway up and we survived passing through the 13 doorways…

No sign of any used car salesman up here but one of the guides could talk in circles so I’m thinking he’d be a good candidate if he decides to seek other employment.

It’s as you make your way around El Castillo that you’re treated to an amazing sight that you don’t know is there from the front. The Friezes!

They’re an incredible sight to see!

And, a little closer look at them.

But…I saved the best view for last! From the very top of El Castillo.

In case you haven’t noticed…we still have that fog hanging around so instead of getting to see all the way to Guatemala…our view is slightly less spectacular. But…incredible none the same.

Oh…and up here at the top…here’s where the flying bugs are! Lots of them.

Eventually our time at the site comes to an end and we make our way back down to the vans, across the river on the hand crank ferry and back on the bus.

I’m really glad we went on this excursion. It’s a one of a kind type of adventure…to be able to see and touch and learn about a culture so vastly different from our modern day lives, it’s difficult to describe the feelings you have being in that place. I highly recommend taking a trip there if you haven’t been.

Once back on board the buses we’re headed to the town of San Ignacio for a Belizean lunch of stewed chicken, coleslaw and plantains. My son got a Beliken beer for $1. This is where he discovered he liked the Salva Vida from Roatan a little better.

We also had some time for a little shopping from vendors outside of the dining space. But…these vendors were a little aggressive and one kept trying to hand me his art pieces which I wasn’t going to touch after he told me the pretty pictures were actually made out of butterfly wings. I politely declined and walked on and tried not to think of how many wingless butterflies are walking around now so that each of those large pictures could be made.

Apparently I was not the only one disillusioned by our shopping time as a group was already forming at the bus to return…and, the driver was not around so several men proceeded to open the closed bus door…the old fashioned way…with brute force. The bus driver and our guide finally noticed that most of us were already on the bus so they hurried along and we were soon on our way.

We still had another hour and a half of driving to get back to the port but it seemed to go quickly. We learned on the way to Xunantunich that in the late 1980’s Belize received its independence from Britain. At that time, they decided to switch from the British custom of driving on the left to the custom of driving on the right. This bus ride back to the port made it clear that this change is still in its concept form! We learned very quickly that in Belize, you drive on whatever side of the road gets you where you want to go the quickest. And, other cars will get out of your way…especially when you’re a bus!

In no time we are deposited back at the port terminal. We go through the gates and, as promised, are back in time for the last tenders back to the ship. It’s been a very long day…and…we now have a very long tender line to go through. My daughter and I get in line and I send my son to the shops to find his Marie Sharps hot sauce that was his sole reason for coming to Belize. He comes back after just a few minutes with bottles for himself and his friends…and the line finally starts moving.

Remember the first tender we were on…it was half the size of the tenders from Grand Cayman…well, the tender we’re about to get on now is half the size of the one from this morning! This one definitely doubles as a human smuggling operation. It’s completely enclosed with just a few very small windows…and, we are packed in this thing. It wasn’t so bad when we were moving because a little bit of air would come in…but, when we got to the ship…the slightly larger tender was already in front of us and was having difficulty getting passengers off as the wind and waves had kicked up quite a bit…so…that left us to idle and drift along in the waves.

I don’t know if it was the diesel fumes wafting in, the extreme heat, or the constant bobbing…but, it wasn’t long before I could actually see a few people turning green! Fortunately, one of the tender operators starts to notice it too and he quickly radios the driver who takes off suddenly and spins us around a couple of times to get some fresh air circulating in. We’d have to do that two more times before it’s finally our turn to pull up to the ship.

Within minutes of getting back to our cabin it was time for the ship to depart from Belize and we started getting ready for dinner.

Here’s where that whole clueless about directions thing really comes into play. For some reason, I get separated from the kids before dinner…I think they were ready before me and they wanted to get smoothies before going to dinner…so, I was going to meet them there. We’ve been on this ship for days now…eaten every night in the dining room…this should be easy, right? Wrong!

Somehow I end up at the back door of the restaurant not the front…and...I don’t even realize it. The doors open, in I go, and some strangers are sitting at what I think is our table! Strangers…at OUR TABLE! We’ve always had the first two tables as you walk in. So now I’m getting annoyed. How dare they sit at our table! And, what should I do now…do I approach them and ask what they think they’re doing sitting there? And, where are the minions? Shouldn’t someone else be here…you know…someone that likes confronting strange people and demanding they move!

As I’m standing there pondering what to do…Eric, one of our wait staff, steps out of a side door and says…hey, there you are! He gestures to the other side of the room and says…they’re waiting for you…did you have a good day in Belize?

OMG. All I could do was nod. What’s that saying…don’t say anything and possibly look like an idiot…or, open your mouth and remove all doubt. Yeah…I’m just going to keep nodding.

Next up…Belize…continues…just a couple more pictures

My husband is looking for you.

 

Your sloth photos compelled me to put a 24 hour hold on a cruise for myself on the Glory. Soon.

He'll get over it! :D And, you're going to LOVE getting to hug a sloth!

Belize…continues…

As we were on the bus to Xunantunich, one set of minions decided to do the snorkeling adventure…I believe it was the Starfish Island excursion. They were escorted from the theater on to an even smaller enclosed tender…that was bordering on claustrophobic. They were so tightly packed in on this tender that the minions began wondering if these particular tender operators knew it was an excursion and not a human smuggling operation. Every small wake they’d hit on the water would send them careening into a stranger and it wasn’t long before they knew more about their fellow snorkelers than they had ever intended. But…they had high hopes that the snorkeling would make it worth the inadvertent extreme closeness.

Eventually they were deposited at their island destination, unlike some other snorkeling excursions such as in Grand Cayman, you do not get in the water from the boat on this one. They would need to swim, as a group, to their snorkel destination. So, the large crowd of people don their masks and fins…and start to head out to the reef. Now the fun really begins! You know how fish swim in schools in those perfect groupings with precision coordination? Yeah, snorkelers aren’t like that! This group wasn’t even separated by skill level so you have beginners in with the advanced. People that didn’t know how to snorkel would be dragging their fins on the bottom creating a murky cloud for the people behind them…and twice one of the minions would have her face mask kicked off by someone in front of her!

But, they persevered! They were heading to one of the coral reefs in Belize known to be one of the best and they were excited to see it. They were advanced snorkelers (certified divers) and even for them it was difficult swimming against the current…as it was a bit of a distance out to the reef.

At last they finally made it! The sky was still dark gray and overcast so that didn’t help matters but they were still optimistic of seeing some amazing things! They snorkeled all around the reef and ended up seeing a total of THREE fish!

They said they spotted more fish at the aquarium at the Iguana Farm the day before!

After the snorkeling the group was led back to the island for their beach day portion of the excursion, and the minions enjoyed their time there. But, they’ll probably not book another snorkel adventure if visiting Belize again.

The kids and I have just exited the van and are about to embark on the climb! No, this would not be the climb of the ruins…this would be the climb up the hill to get to the entrance to the ruins. (A van was provided for those with mobility issues.) It was rather steep!

But, once we got in…we were greeted with an amazing sight! There are approximately 7 different ruins on the site that have been partially excavated. With the largest, and most impressive, called El Castillo…dating back to around 600 AD.

Here’s a view of the site from the top of one of the smaller ruins, looking towards El Castillo.

Our guides take us through the area and provide a wealth of information about the Mayan culture and the ruins. The tour was very well run and organized so that each bus load of tourists had their own time to move through the structures without encroaching on each other.

And a picture of the kids in front of El Castillo.

El Castillo is over 130’ tall and it’s hard to grasp the enormity of it. The picture below shows an adult standing in front of it and her head reaches just barely over the first 3 steps.

Our guides finish their stories and we’re set loose to conquer El Castillo. It’s time to start the climb. Are we sure we want to do this? There’s no guard rails or anything!! Right about now is not the time to remember that my passport and medical insurance information is in the safe on the ship. Have I mentioned how extremely uncoordinated I am?!

Here’s what El Castillo looks like from the bottom of the steps looking up…

Next up…Belize…continues…

Belize…Glow in the Dark Birds, TunaSandwich Ruins, and…Amish in the City?

Our third port stop on this trip is to the country of Belize in Central America. Most of us had never been to Belize before…so this would be another new adventure for most of us.

One of the minions had been on a diving trip to Belize several years ago and she brought back a jar of Marie Sharp’s hot sauce for my son…Marie Sharps is to Belize what Sriracha is to the US…so, the one thing he wanted to do on Belize was get some more.

When I was researching this port it reminded me of when I was researching for the port of Jamaica. People love Belize or they hate it…there’s not a lot of in between. It seemed like a lot more people were on the hate side of this one and recommended you not even get off the ship. One of the things people didn’t like was the long tender ride to get to the port. The ships have to anchor quite a distance from Belize and it takes about 20 minutes to reach the port by tender. And then when you reach the port, this is not one of the heavily invested in ports with beautiful shopping areas and a Margaritaville to greet you…no, this is a much smaller setting enclosed with razor wire and military looking armed security. And, a lot of the reviews of this port indicated that this was not the port to go out on your own on.

Because of the concerns about this port I was trying to decide between 3 things…a quick shopping trip to the port (because we had to get some Marie Sharps) and then return to the ship…or, go on the Carnival excursion to Starfish Island and Snorkel (I liked this one because you didn’t have to make the 20 minute tender ride to the port, the tender took you from the ship directly to the island)…or, the third was to do the all day excursion to see the Xunantunich Mayan Ruins.

I started leaning towards doing the trip to the ruins because the kids and I had never done anything like that and just when I was going to book it…that’s when Carnival reversed the itinerary on us. Almost all of the Belize excursions were removed, including the two I had been looking at. They did have a 6 hour tour to a smaller set of ruins still listed but it wasn’t as impressive looking as the Xunantunich ruins. I let the other minions know that my first choice would be the ruins trip…but, we won’t know until we’re on the ship if it’s going to be offered.

Once we were on the ship I was able to check the shore excursions, and book, directly on the TV in our cabin. This was a great improvement over standing in line at the Shore Excursion desk! Both the Xunantunich and the Starfish Island excursions were offered so I went ahead and booked the trip to the ruins. Turns out we would be the only ones from our group going on this trip.

It was a cloudy morning when we arrived in Belize and a little bit foggy. I went out on the balcony but couldn’t see the port so I didn’t know if it was visible from the other side of the ship or if we were just so far out that we couldn’t see it.

I knew this was going to be a very early morning for us so I had ordered room service for breakfast by putting out the hanging tag the night before. I scheduled it for delivery at 6:45am and it was served promptly and the order was accurate. The kids groggily ate while getting ready.

We were to meet in the theater at 7:15am and when we got there it was already quite full. You were given stickers that indicated which excursion you were on and it seemed like a sea of yellow stickers in that room…the same color we were wearing. Great…this has the potential to be a complete fiasco. Eventually all the yellow stickers were asked to rise and we slogged our way out to the tenders…I’m sure the 4 people remaining in the theatre were glad to see us go.

My only experience with tenders had been in Grand Cayman. Remember Grand Cayman…it’s the place with the big beautiful port facility and big shiny new tenders…Belize wasn’t so lucky. The tender we were about to get on was about half the size of a Grand Cayman tender…and, looked like it spends its off days on some extracurricular Central American activities…are those bullet holes near the front?

My son was first to get on and he enters in the enclosed lower section…but then quickly bounds up the stairs to the top level. My daughter follows right after him…as I’m looking around thinking…come back. That enclosed section looks like where I want to be. Instead I begrudgingly make my way up as well. We get settled on a bench and I look at the dark looming clouds above us and feel the constant wind…and start thinking…if only I hadn’t looked at the shore excursions on the TV. I could still be in bed. Instead I’ve got 20 minutes of my hair being blown into one giant tangled mess followed by a two hour bus ride to look forward to.

Fortunately, the clouds didn’t open up on us and we made it to the port. A bunch of buses are lined up outside the port terminal and we file our way onto them to begin the journey out to the ruins. Our guide on the bus provides a running commentary of the history and life on Belize. He made the 2 hour long bus ride interesting and enjoyable. Again, the differences between this country and Grand Cayman or even Roatan were very evident. Belize is a much poorer country.

Here are some pictures of the buildings in Belize City, as taken from the bus.

Surprisingly, there is a large Amish population in Belize and we got to see several of the Amish men selling watermelons from their carts in different parts of the city. We don’t have Amish in California so it was interesting to see them but very unexpected. Our guide said that the Amish produce a lot of the consumables for the Belizean population and they’re very well respected in the country.

Many of us had difficulty saying the correct pronunciation of the name Xunantunich…so our guide said to just say Tuna Sandwich very quickly and it will be close enough!

My kids were sitting next to me on the bus and would spend the 2 hours switching between paying attention to the guide to falling asleep and back to listening again. At one point, it appeared my son was sleeping when the people in front of us started asking everyone around if we saw the birds during the night. They said there were hundreds of birds glowing in the dark and circling the ship during the night. I had to keep from laughing when my son’s eyes suddenly pops open and he looks over at me…and quietly says…were they abducted by these glowing birds?

It wasn’t much longer after this that we were pulling to the side of the road. The bus let us off at a beautiful green river. We have to cross the river on a ferry that’s powered by a hand crank…so we all step aboard and the ferry handler takes us across.

Here’s the green river.

And here they’re turning the hand crank.

Once we’re on the other side of the river we transfer to vans to take us to the entrance to the Xunantunich Ruins.

Next up…Belize…continues…

Roatan…continues…just one more thing…

I just wanted to share a couple more pictures from the island and a quick story.

Here’s a picture of the island from the ship…you can see the lush green vegetation and colorful port buildings…along with some of the humidity fog we had all day.

And, a picture of the pier with another Carnival ship in front of us.

So, Daniel had just dropped us off and we were making our way through the port buildings and on to the ship. A couple of the minions had their swim suits on under their clothes so they were heading over to the beach side of the port to get in the water. The rest of us were dragging ourselves back to the ship.

If you recall, we’ve been all over this island in 96 degree temperature and 100% humidity. We looked like drowned rats from the sweat…and we were beat.

We get through the line and on to the ship and several of us step into the elevator, with some other people. My daughter and I are at the back of the elevator and then there’s some people we don’t know in the middle and then a couple of minions are at the front of the elevator.

No one is talking in the elevator, it’s very quiet. I’m sure everyone was feeling the effects of such a hot day and we were all just enjoying the cool air and waiting to reach our floor.

The elevator stops on Deck 6 and one of the minions in the front (Terrorist minion to be exact…aka Grandma minion) takes a few steps to get off…and then turns to leave…and as she does she loudly says………..time to go wash the monkey off of me.

And…the elevator doors close.

And the laughter is deafening…

And here’s what we’d find in our room that night.

Next up…Belize…Glow in the Dark Birds, TunaSandwich Ruins, and…Amish in the City?

Roatan…continues…Welcome to Jurassic Park!

We are back on the van and heading to our next destination. We’ve got the Monkey King sitting in the very front of the van (sorry Daniel!). And it’s only a few minutes before we are pulling in to the next stop. Daniel parks the van in front of a tree and as we climb out…this starts climbing down the tree…

We start to make our way in and it’s like stepping in to a miniature Jurassic Park. These things are everywhere! Welcome to the Iguana Farm.

Daniel explains that because of the extreme heat, and because it’s mating season, there aren’t very many of the iguanas out. Which to me is a good thing…because I’m already thinking I should head for the van and lock myself in (which apparently is a pattern with me…having locked myself in the car as a child because a bat flew in our house…hence, the aversion to cavetubing).

So we’re surrounded by these prehistoric looking creatures and then they bring us giant green leaves to feed them…which causes some of them to come running at us…a move that does not endear them to me. I’m not especially thrilled with those giant snapping mouths down near my ankles…and I quickly lose my leaf.

Some of the larger iguanas will lean into you like a dog wanting attention and some of the minions would pet them. I just kept repeating to myself…it’s a veggie-saurus…only a veggie-saurus…even though I’m pretty certain that over in a bush, making eye contact with me, is one of those kind that their neck skin flips up right before they spit poison in your eye…and, he’s got that skin flap thing already locked and loaded. It was time for me to move.

I went off to look at the other animals that the farm has and one of them was this cute thing with some vicious looking teeth…I think it’s a lemur.

I didn’t get to see it for very long because 3 of the smaller iguanas started a rave at my feet and it was getting out of hand so it was time for me to move again.

Also at the farm they had an outdoor aquarium and we got to see lots of different fish. Here’s a picture of what I think is a blowfish and a lobster, with some smaller fish around.

As we were down at the water Daniel pointed out some activity at a very near private island and shared some disconcerting news. A developer, from California, had purchased the island and was conducting excursions on it where they bring people over to the island and they can ride horses in the water. He pointed out some people that were out in the water on horses. The problem is that the island doesn’t have a beach, it’s a coral reef that surrounds it…so, the horses are actually walking on the reef, destroying it. It will take decades to repair the damage. He doesn’t blame the tourists…because they don’t know…but, the developer knows and yet he continues. Daniel then went off to speak to Mr. Sherman the owner of the Iguana Farm to get an update, as he is leading the effort to end the destroying of the reef. So…here’s my public service announcement…if you go to Roatan…go see the sloths, and save the horseback riding for another island!

It was finally time to end this amazing day so we all pile back in the van and Daniel drives us to the port. Fortunately, he gets to drive us all the way over the hill to drop us off…which they’re allowed to do at the end of the day…because Carnival knows we’ve already spent our excursion money.

We say our goodbyes to Daniel and again thank him for the most incredible day.

In case you haven’t figured this out by now…I would highly recommend Daniel and his tour to everyone. It was an unbelievable experience and I’m so glad my son found it and asked me to look into it. If I’m lucky enough to be on a cruise to Roatan again I will definitely go back.

If you’re interested in his tour you can find him on his fb page by searching for Daniel Johnson’s Monkey Park and Sloth Sanctuary.

Just in passing, Daniel mentioned that the summer months on Roatan are the famine days for the island because they rely on the tourism...but, many ships are pulled out of the Caribbean and moved to Alaska so Roatan gets cut from a lot of itineraries. He mentioned it just as a concern for his other islanders, not himself (which was impressive, caring for others…more good traits to have for my future son-in-law. Kidding!). I'm hoping this review encourages others to give his tour a try...he’s doing a great thing for those animals.

Roatan…continues…just one more thing…

Roatan…continues…it’s time to meet the three-toed sloths!

Now it’s time to meet the stars of the show! What you didn’t know is that all during our time with the spider monkeys we were already hanging out with the sloths…as some of them are hanging from the trees around us.

Here’s my son with one of the sloths hanging in the trees.

Now it was time to officially meet them. Daniel brought out one for us to hold that would be considered a teenage sloth. Her name was Jordana…and, she was precious! You would think the coarse thick hair would be rough but they’re really quite soft. Jordana, with her 3 giant claws on each hand (paw?), would just contentedly lay on you, occasionally gazing up at you or looking around.

It was a very unique experience.

So, you might be wondering…was it worth it? Flying all the way across the United States, boarding a ship, cruising 1000’s of miles away to a little island off the coast of Honduras…just to hold a three-toed sloth for about 5 minutes?

ABSOLUTELY!!!

I would do it all over again in a heartbeat…and, I think the minions would agree with me. I know the kids would agree…they’ve plastered it all over their Instagram…(and, that’s how you determine what’s cool nowadays)!

As Daniel’s sister was helping us pass Jordana from person to person, Daniel came out of the house holding two…a baby sloth and a more mature sloth. It was really incredible to get to see, and touch, and learn about these amazing creatures. We didn’t hold the baby but several of the minions held the larger sloth.

This was such a great day…everyone got plenty of time with the sloths…we were never rushed…and Daniel patiently answered all of our questions. Well…all except mine. All I wanted to know was how to get one past security and on to the ship!

Here’s our WONDERFUL guide, Daniel Johnson, holding his baby sloth.

And here’s one of the minions holding the larger sloth while listening to Daniel share information about these very special animals.

We still had one more adventure to go to with Daniel so unfortunately, it was time to say goodbye to the sloths. As we were heading towards the van one of the minions, who’s a contractor, noticed some work being done on the house and asked about it. Daniel explained that it’s his mother’s house and that its tradition on the island for sons to live with their mothers until they marry.

And then, from behind me, one of the minions calls out my daughter’s name and says…you should marry Daniel, and then you could stay here!

I didn’t get to see my daughter’s reaction, because she was behind me…but, I did get to see Daniel’s sister. She had the classic little sister reaction…she thought that idea was hysterical! She was laughing so hard.

Later that evening when we were back on the ship I asked my daughter what she thought of that comment…and…without even hesitating she said…I would’ve done it. (Just to get to stay there with those sloths!)

So, if anyone sees Daniel…or, Daniel, if you happen to see this…she’s waiting for your proposal. And…you only got to see her casual side…here’s what she looks like on the pages of magazines. (She’s been a model in California since she was 16.)

Granted…she’d only be marrying you for your sloths…but, would that be so bad?! (I’m kidding!) :D

Next up…Roatan…continues…Welcome to Jurassic Park!

This is the best review ever!! Thank you! Now, how can I get in touch with Daniel Johnson?? We will be on this cruise in July.

You can contact Daniel through the 'site that must not be named' here on cruise critic (hint...there's an F and a B in its name). Just search for Daniel Johnson's Monkey Park and Sloth Sanctuary! And then send him a message through his page. Tell him Miss Sharon sent you!

I've got so much more to share about our trip with Daniel...and we haven't even gotten to Jurassic Park yet. Curse this full-time job...and the need for sleep! More to come, later.

Part 7…Roatan continues…

Daniel has taken us all over this wonderful island. We get to see sights and people and it really is a beautiful place. Now it’s time to head over to his home to see his animals. This is what we’ve all been waiting for!

I mentioned earlier how passionate Daniel is about his island and his heritage. It’s even more impressive when he talks about his animals. Most of the animals are rescues he’s taken in from others who would no longer care for them. Some of the animals are childhood pets. This is a young man who goes out into the forest every day to collect leaves so that his 6 sloths have fresh food. He’s up early chopping fruits and vegetables for the monkeys and is out caring for them until late every night. He even mentioned that he’d have 6 sloths sleeping in his bedroom that night because of the approaching storm. The point I truly want to get across is that this is not a zoo, it really is a sanctuary. We got to see firsthand that Daniel, along with his family, love these animals and are providing a safe and happy home for them, where they might not have had one otherwise.

The first animals we get to interact with are the white faced capuchin monkeys. For those that were brave enough to get in with them…they were very, very curious. They wanted to be everywhere. Daniel had everyone take off hats and glasses and remove everything from pockets before going in. But…it was still like being with Dexter from the Night At the Museum movie…except this time it was Snooki and Jwoww! He also warned that they’re probably going to climb inside your shirts and into pants…and…it’s best to just go with it! Surprisingly, their tiny fingers were very soft so it wasn’t so bad when you’d find them in your eyes!

The capuchins absolutely loved one of the minions. He was like a big tall tree and they climbed all over him. Here he is wearing his capuchin monkey crown…the new Monkey King. And, we’re all thinking he’s going to have to burn that shirt before getting back in the van…because those little capuchins had a very special way of inaugurating him into his monkey king status.

After holding the capuchin monkeys it was time to hold one of the spider monkeys. Again, the Monkey King was a favorite…which could have been because he was actually smelling like a monkey now. But, after the monkey king had a turn…another one of the minions wanted to give holding the spider monkey a try.

Before letting her hold the monkey, Daniel repeatedly warned her that this particular spider monkey likes the guys better. And it simply has to do with the fact that they have broader shoulders and are taller and the monkey feels more secure. But…even after Daniel’s repeated warnings…she decided she was going to give it a try.

And this…this is how NOT to hold a Spider Monkey!

I’m surprised we were even able to get pictures of this we were all laughing so hard. Please know, the monkey and the minion were not harmed during any of this and Daniel was right next to her the entire time.

And…she’d been warned!

Eventually the spider monkey found a position that they liked.

After we were done holding the monkeys…then it was time to go in with these beautiful creatures!

If getting to be around all these amazing animals wasn’t enough of a perfect setting…all we had to do was turn around…and we are steps away from the water.

And…Roatan…continues…it’s time to meet the three-toed sloths!

Your photos are so sharp and vivid... great color! What kind of camera do you use?

 

We're sailing on the Conquest in November. Any chance you're going on her before then? Would love to read your review of our cruise before we go!!! :D Thanks for sharing!

Thank you! Most of the pictures are taken with a Sony A6000 camera...and a few have been taken with a phone (Samsung Galaxy S5).

I wish I was going on the Conquest...but, unfortunately, I don't have anymore cruises booked. Which could be why I keep dragging out this one!

Part 7…Roatan…Getting Steamed, Welcome to Jurassic Park…and…the GREATEST five minute adventure!

I think I’m going to skip Roatan and come back to it at the end of this review…………………….I’m kidding.

The truth about the 5 minute adventure is that I found this guy on the internet…and he offered to take us back to his house.

…Kind of sounds like the beginning of a slasher movie doesn’t it?

Well…since I know you’re just going to jump ahead to the end to see what the 5 minute greatest adventure was all about…I’m just going to show you right now!

We went all the way to Roatan to do this…

Now for those that are disappointed and are saying…that’s it??!! I’d like to take a minute to see a show of hands. Everyone that’s held a three-toed sloth please raise your hands. Come on. Put them up high. Now the rest of you look around…I’m guessing that there aren’t a lot of hands in the air. Mine is! Because…YES…we went all the way to Roatan to HUG A SLOTH. How could we not…just look at this face!

Okay…there is so much more to tell you (no surprise there) but I knew you’d just jump ahead so I had to come out and tell you. Now…it’s time for the details…

Our ship has arrived at the port in Roatan. I’m looking out the window and I see this beautiful lush green vegetation and some brightly colored port buildings. But…something looks a little off. It’s like the sky is this murky color. It almost looks like fog but it’s more like steam. Like the island is steaming!

I grab my camera and head out on the balcony and that’s when I feel it. This is not air like I’ve ever felt before. Remember that muster drill when it was raining…you could tell who on the ship was from California because we were the ones at the rail with our cell phones out taking pictures. Our weather is fairly consistent…a lot of sunny days...followed by a few partly cloudy days…followed by more sunny days.

What I would learn later is that this is what the air feels like when it’s 96 degrees with 100% humidity and no rain. I didn’t even know you could have 100% humidity and no rain!! And, I’m going to have to say…it’s not that pleasant. But…we had a great day planned so we are just going to roll with it. And, with my newfound acceptance of this weather atrocity we were experiencing…I picked up my camera to take the first picture…and…why is my picture all blurry? It’s because the lens has completely fogged over! I quickly wipe it off with my shirt and go to take another picture…and, before I can even snap it…it’s fogged over again. This is going to be interesting!

So, the guy I had found on the internet is named Daniel Johnson. Daniel is a native of Roatan and has his own Monkey and Sloth Sanctuary at his home on the island. We had arranged for Daniel to be our tour guide on the island, showing us the sights and then taking us to see his animals. My tour discussions with Daniel were very easy…I told him we just want to hold a sloth…anything else is a bonus! Ten of us would be heading out with Daniel today for our Roatan adventure.

As we’re out on the pier I stop to take a picture of a shipwreck through the lines tying our ship to the pier…mainly to see if my camera has adjusted to the humidity…and…success!

Daniel had warned me ahead of time that it’s a bit of a steep hike up and over the hill to meet up with the non-Carnival tour guides. So, we start to head up the incline, through the port shops…and finally we get to the top where the taxis are waiting. Whew! That was tough to do in this 100% humidity. And then the reality hits…yeah…that wasn’t the steep hill. Now we get to climb the steep hill and down to where we meet up with Daniel. As I’m about two-thirds of the way up I begin to wonder if it’s possible to drown in your own sweat! And…finally…we reach the summit (you’d think it were Mt. McKinley or something) and down the other side we go.

The first guides we get to ask who we’re looking for and then it starts to sound a little like the telephone game as it goes down the line…the first guide shouts out Daniel Johnson…and then a little farther down the line you hear…Dano Johnni shouted out…and then something even further down the line that’s closer sounding to Bob Smith. But out of this sea of dark haired Caribbean tour guides pops this blond haired, blue-eyed islander named Daniel Johnson. He quickly introduces himself and escorts us over to his shiny new air conditioned van for our journey.

Daniel is a wonderful guide. He apologizes about the oppressive heat but informs us there is a bad storm coming the very next day (which is the day we were originally scheduled to be here) so even though it’s 100% humidity…we’ve got the better day! He explains that the heat is so bad that the schools have to close at 10am and we get to see lots of children heading home or playing in the water around the island. Daniel is very articulate and very passionate about his island. He apprehensively shares that for a long time, he thought all of the United States was like the show the Jersey Shore! And, he named his white faced capuchin monkeys (that we'll be playing with later) after the Jersey Shore cast members…including Snooki, JWoww and Mike ‘The Situation’.

He drives us over to Little French Key and to Coxen Hole…while providing a wealth of information about Roatan and even Honduras. He was very knowledgeable and had a relaxed, friendly manner. At one point he took us to the top of a ridge where he offered to take a group picture for us, and he said normally you’d be able to see all across the ridge and out to our ship…but, the humidity fog was obscuring the view today. I believe one of the minions jokingly told him that the only group shot of us he’d get right there was if he got out and pointed the camera back at the van…as we were not leaving that air conditioning!

We stopped at a gas station and a few of the guys went in with Daniel to pick up some cold drinks. The local $1 beer was called Salva Vida which my son would later pick as his favorite of all the island beers he tried. Daniel also picked out a local soda for my daughter to try…it was banana! Banana soda…and she loved it. My son was intrigued by the guy sitting in front of the gas station with a rifle across his lap. Daniel explained that it was like having a private security guard. He said they don’t have much crime on the island but some businesses take extra precautions and the locals have no issues with it.

Here’s the banana soda.

We also made a stop at the cameo factory and got to watch as they worked on some cameos. Here’s the kids outside the cameo building.

I’ve reached my picture limit (and I'm going to have a ton for Roatan), so…

…Roatan continues…

Part 6…Grand Cayman…continues…Last Stop – Seven Mile Beach

I’m sorry I have to split these sections up like this but I’m limited on the number of pictures I can include in each post. Let’s finish off Grand Cayman!

We’re back on the bus and back on the road. Our guides are driving us down the main road and talking about how incredible this Seven Mile Beach is to the left of us. I glance over and all I see are a lot of hotels, condos and large buildings…so, naturally I think I’ve gotten it wrong again with that whole left right thing so I look to my other left…and, I’m still not seeing it. The bus then pulls into the parking lot of the Royal Palms Resort and we all precariously navigate that steep ladder back to the ground. The guide suggested we go down the ladder backwards to make it easier but trying to figure out how to spin around on that thing seemed more complicated than quantum physics…so, forward it is.

There is a security guard in charge that we have to show our blue papery bracelets to as these identify us as either off that giant blue bus parked in front of him or escapees from a local hospital. Either scenario…he didn’t care.

Which kind of goes along with a lot of our experience on Grand Cayman. There is very little police presence on the island and they have a low crime rate. This would differ greatly from other islands we’ll venture to, for instance…when our guide on another tour says…don’t be alarmed by the guys coming over that hill with machine guns. (I become alarmed! I was fine until you pointed them out!) Here on Grand Cayman they don’t have the issues that some of the poorer islands experience…and ‘money laundering’ is only in the movies! Our guides did share that someone stole a car recently on Grand Cayman. Rather than go after the guy…the police just hung out at the gas stations waiting for him to show up, which he eventually did. Their attitude was…it’s an island…how far can he get.

We all waive our paper bracelets to the guard as we step by him and walk to the back side of the resort. And…there we find it. Paradise!

Seven Mile Beach is a beautiful soft white sand beach for as far as the eye can see. It seems to go on forever…I wonder how long it is. :p Off in the distance we can just make out the tail of the ship.

We don’t have a lot of time to spend at this amazing beach so as I’m down at the water admiring the beauty…I’m also looking around for the minions who’ve all seemed to disappear. And then I finally spot them…they’re all back at the resort in the shade at the bar! Who could blame them though…it was beautiful place to hang out. I begrudgingly shuffle my way through that soft sand and head up to join them. As I order three drinks I’m again reminded of the differences in economy on this island versus some of the other islands we’ll be visiting…these are Carnival drink prices here...it’s definitely not the $1 beer prices we’ll find on other islands.

Here are a couple of minions waiting for their drinks with that beautiful blue water behind them.

Unfortunately, our time is short at Seven Mile Beach and it’s time to head back to the bus for the journey back to the port. The beach itself was absolutely beautiful and we were lucky to get to spend some time here, especially without a lot of ships in port.

We climb back aboard and make the short journey back to the port. As we’re almost there our guide points out a restaurant near the water’s edge and says it’s the place he recommends for the best seafood. Several of the minions decide to give it a try and came away thinking it’s probably the place that gives the biggest kick-back. So…if you do happen to take this excursion…which was really a lot of fun and a very unique way to see Grand Cayman…you might want to skip the recommended restaurant at the end and find your own.

This was our shortest port day and we needed to be back on the ship by 2:30pm so we didn’t have a lot of time left after our bus/boat adventure. My daughter wanted to do some shopping so the kids and I wandered through some of the stores nearby before heading back to the port and on to a tender.

Once everyone was on board…it was time to go. Here’s our last look at Grand Cayman as the ship was turning around to head out.

After we sailed away we headed to the lido deck to get a late lunch. I’m surprised to be saying this but I didn’t eat a single lunch from the Lido buffet. And, it had absolutely nothing to do with the selection or quality or anything like that…it was only because…I never even looked at it! There were too many other great options that I would have instead…such as, the Fish & Chips on one day, or the Chicken Tacos from Blue Iguana Cantina on a couple different days, and of course the burgers from Guys. Today…I was going to try a shrimp burrito from the Blue Iguana Cantina…and…it was delicious! I love how they always had a big bowl of watermelon slices at the salsa bar so that you didn’t even need to go into the buffet for anything else…a burrito and watermelon…yum! My daughter and I tried the breakfast burrito there one morning too and it was also delicious.

After our lunch the kids and I went our separate ways and I eventually found myself in the casino. I hate to keep referencing back to my Magic review…but…I learned a lot about casino people on that last cruise. I had no idea that playing a slot machine was so involved. Some of these people took casino craziness to an art form! And, I thought I had seen it all on the Magic. Boy was I mistaken. On the Glory was a couple that took casino crazy to an all new level.

But first…I believe I’ve discovered the design flaw of the Glory’s casino. As I was reading reviews preparing for this trip I kept seeing over and over that the Glory’s casino seems to be more smoke filled than on other ships. Lots of people were complaining about that one aspect of the ship. Especially people that don’t even play in the casino but still have to walk through it. And, usually, there’s a smoking side set up on the ship and a non-smoking side…it’s that way on the Glory as well. But…here’s the fatal flaw…on the non-smoking side there’s a row of video poker machines right by the main walkway (3 machines on one side and 3 on the other)…located at the very beginning of the non-smoking side (so you’d think there’d be the least amount of smoke here). Well…these machines were the only video poker (or blackjack or something like that) kinds of machines in the whole casino. So…even though they were technically on the non-smoking side…I’m guessing Carnival didn’t want the smokers to miss out on these machines as well…so, they made one side of this bank of machines non-smoking…and the other side was smoking!

Let’s just pause for a moment to contemplate the effectiveness of this design………I really would’ve liked to have been in that design meeting…so, you’re suggesting we take these 3 smoking machines and place them right over here…right here…right in the middle of the non-smoking section. Yeah…let’s do that!

Okay…so, I’m in the casino and have found a penny slot machine that entertains me…because lemmings go jumping off cliffs…when I notice the music that’s playing is the music from Frozen…as Idina belts out Let it Go, Let it Go…I can hear people singing along. In my mind I’m thinking this isn’t really the music I thought I’d hear in a Carnival casino but whatever…when it suddenly stops. Now Olaf is singing about…Summertime. And, people are singing along again. And, just as abruptly, it shuts off. So then it dawns on me that they’re always holding the music trivia right by the casino bar so it must be time for Disney music trivia…just as the little mermaid starts singing that she wants to be…part of our world. Look at this stuff…isn’t it neat…wouldn’t you think my collection’s complete….and it stops.

By now it appears that I was the lemming in this game after all as I’ve used up all my credits…so I get up from the machine and decide to head over to watch the trivia…just in time for Hercules to start singing about how…he can go the distance. And again, others loudly join in.

I step out from behind the machines to where the couches are and there’s nobody there. No Disney music, no trivia…nothing.

Um…WTH?

And then I hear it again…towards the other side of the casino…now we’ve got the 7 dwarfs singing…hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to work we go…

And I’m on the move. I’m weaving my way through the machines and…it stops. So, I wait. Another few seconds later…Rapunzel’s singing about how she’s got a dream…she’s got a dream…(and people are singing along…???)…and…that’s when I see them.

Right in front of me is a couple, probably in their 50’s. They have two chairs pulled up to a slot machine. In their lap they’ve placed something that looks like a large Bose speaker. As I’m watching, one of them pushes the button on the slot machine…and, at the same time, the other one turns on the music…and then they loudly sing along (to Disney songs) until the slot machine’s wheels stop spinning…and, then they stop the song. After a couple of seconds one of them pushes the slot machine button again…the other one starts another song…and, they begin singing along again…and…stop.

And here I thought the people in the casino on the Magic were crazy! The Glory just took it to whole new level!

Next up…Part 7…Roatan…Getting Steamed, Welcome to Jurassic Park…and…the GREATEST five minute adventure!

Thanks Sharon. I was just thinking before I saw your post that we should open one of those go fund me accounts for you. We could all contribute $20 every month so you could take monthly cruises and we could enjoy a review every month! It's a win-win for all of us.

Ha ha...I'm in!! :D As that's the only way you'll get to see me on that Vista cruise in the Mediterranean (which is my dream cruise, by the way)! So, I'm very jealous of you and all the other lucky cruisers that will be on that glorious new ship cruising over there!

Thanks again for your kind words! I really do appreciate it!

Part 6…Grand Cayman…continues

Thank you so much for coming along on this journey with me. I really appreciate all the kind comments.

So the 12 of us are in a brightly colored bus that is bobbing along in the beautiful ocean and we’re all having a great time. I know this probably isn’t an exciting excursion idea for a lot of people, but…it’s what you make of it…and we made it fun! (If you read my Magic review you’ll remember that this is the same group that was excited to be driven to the cruise terminal in a pink trolley…this bus/boat thing is exactly the unique type of experiences that we enjoy. Because…let’s face it…usually if you hear about a bus going into a large body of water…it invokes visions of a lot of screaming involved. We’re just laughing on this one.)

The view of Grand Cayman from the water is spectacular…

Our bus/boat traverses all the way around the Carnival Glory and I’m kind of disappointed that most everyone from the ship is on shore…because this feels like we are in a parade! Before we completely round the ship, our guides take us over a couple of shipwrecks that we can see on the monitors connected to the underwater cameras. Please note, it’s not necessary to push aside your seat mates to get a better view of the monitors because the shipwrecks are a little hard to discern. And, it probably was a little preposterous of me to think I was going to see something along the likes of the Titanic in that clear blue green water…which was probably only 20 feet deep…so my sincerest apologies to the minion that I trampled.

Here’s my daughter and some minions as we’re passing the Glory.

And the view as we round the back of the ship.

As our push-me/pull-me…I mean bus/boat…continues to traverse the Glory, our guide (who my son swears is Irish if you close your eyes) starts to wave at a Nautilus sub that is approaching nearby. (Which is another excursion…where you climb in a large semi-submersible and can view sea life through the windows below the water line.) It approaches until it’s about 20 yards away…….I just love tossing out distances like that…like I actually know what I’m saying. Truth is…I’m horrible at it…that submersible could be anywhere from 20 feet to 100 yards away…and, don’t get me started if I have to tell you whether it’s on the right or the left! I’m directionally challenged…and, I think I’m repressing traumatic experiences from childhood…having been subjected to too many rounds of the Hokey Pokey. Sure, it’s all fun and games until you have to figure out which foot you should be shaking all about.

We’ve got the Nautilus sub holding steady on one side of us (must be a reason, I’m thinking) and then our Irish sounding guide suggests we peek our heads over the side of the bus and look down. We’re being swarmed by fish…they’re everywhere! So…Mr. Irish pulls out two loaves of bread and gives each of us some pieces to feed the fish.

Here's the fish swarming us.

Pretty cool right? Wrong! Here’s where I’m thinking things are going to go downhill very quickly.

You see, before I had decided on this excursion, I had thought it might be fun for all of us to go to the Turtle Farm. I clearly understood that it’s a ‘farm’, meaning the turtles were raised and farmed as a food source. But, I’d also read that they did some conservational efforts too and raised some of the turtles to be released back into the wild.

When I told the other minions about this proposed plan…I literally got my hair blown back by one of the minions…who very loudly let me know that the Turtle Farm feeds the turtles they are raising puppy chow (as told to her by the dive shop owners on Grand Cayman)…and…that there’s nobody sprinkling handfuls of puppy chow on the top of the ocean after these turtles get released. So they don’t know how to find food when they get released and end up being eaten by other creatures.

Now…in hindsight…maybe I shouldn’t have started warbling out the opening stanzas of the Lion King’s Circle of Life right then.

And now we’re feeding Wonder Bread to the FISH!

Maybe we should head back over to those shipwrecks to see if we can delineate a Sea Shepherd logo amongst that rubble.

Fortunately (for me!) that minion was a little ways back in the bus so I only had to hear bits of grumbling…something about doughy blobs not being conducive to a fish diet. But now I see why that Nautilus sub is nearby…our fish feeding is providing their entertainment. That’s quite an arrangement these excursion operators have got going on...…and….…’money laundering’ is only in the movies.

After the fish feeding it’s time to turn this bus/boat back into just a bus and head back on to the roads. Before we do though, I hear some laughing from the minions…and then one of them holds up her phone and shows the rest of us that she’s been taking picture after picture of the elbow of the minion in front of her. She’s got a whole bunch of pictures just like this…

Next up…Part 6…Grand Cayman…continues…Last Stop – Seven Mile Beach!

Next up…Part 6…Grand Cayman (Money laundering, Irish accents and…No wheels on this bus to go round and round)

Hooray…we’ve finally arrived at our first port day. If you recall, our itinerary had been reversed. We were originally scheduled to go to Cozumel first but instead, we are at Grand Cayman. When I’d sent out that email to the minions about how many ships would be in each port…the count for Grand Cayman was 6…which meant over 30,000 cruise passengers descending on the island with us. Now that we’re here on this new day…the count for today is 1. We are the only ship in port!

This is my second time on this island, the first was only six months ago on our cruise on the Magic. (I would love to say that…yes…we cruise every six months. You know, in between jetting from our summer and winter homes…but, the reality is…we were very fortunate to get to be able to do this cruise so soon after the last one.) Prior to the Magic, we hadn’t been on a cruise in 4 years.

The minions have been on quite a few more cruises than us and have been to Grand Cayman many times. And yet again…I’m the one tasked with figuring out what we should do. The last time we were here we went to Stingray City and had an amazing day, using the private vendor Native Way Watersports. And…if you’ve never been to Grand Cayman…I highly recommend you go to Stingray City. It’s an experience you will never forget. I have a lot of details about it on my review of our Magic cruise (fair warning…my Magic review makes War and Peace look like a short story)…but, here’s a picture that captures some of the adventures we had.

This time…we’re going on a Carnival excursion. The Magic cruise was to celebrate my daughter’s high school graduation…so we did activities she wanted to do, which mainly involved being in the water. My son would rather see some of the island…exploring the cities and the countryside. For Grand Cayman we’re going to try and do a bit of both…we’re going on the Amphibious Bus Tour. It’s a bus that tours around the city and then drives into the ocean and becomes a boat. I let the minions know what we were doing and they all signed up for the tour too. The 12 of us will be touring Grand Cayman together.

Grand Cayman is a tender port. Tendering is a whole lot easier when you’re the only ship in port. Since we were on a Carnival excursion we were asked to meet in the Amber Palace. If you’re not familiar with the Glory…it’s a colorful ship. I think someone dropped a box of crayons when they were designing it and they just went with it…as each area of the ship is named after a color. Amber Palace, Platinum Dining Room, Red Sail Lido, Emerald Steakhouse, Blue Bar, Ivory Lounge…etc. When they added the 2.0 features it kind of messed up that whole crayon thing…since there’s no color in the name Guy’s Burgers. But, his hair has always reminded me of Heat Miser…so I’d go with an orange-ish name for it. He’s Mr. Heat Miser…he’s Mr. Sun…

When we arrive at the Amber Palace several of the minions are already there but not all yet. They announce that we can head down to the tenders so the kids and I, and a couple other minions take off while the others wait for the rest to show up. We agree to meet up after we get off the tender. The line to get to the tender is moving quick…but…they stop the line right in front of us. Dang…missed that tender. But…we get to meet a new Carnival friend, Kole, while we wait for the next tender.

Kole is on his very first contract with Carnival. He’s one of the performers in the Playlist Production shows. The only other non-entertainment job the performers have to do on the ship is to work the tender lines. Kole is from Delaware…and…he talked non-stop…in a rapid fire way. It was still early in the morning…so, it felt like the rest of us were moving in slow motion compared to him. I think a few people around us were contemplating pushing him down the stairs…just to see if the Energizer Bunny would keep going, and going. Fortunately, for us…or for Kole (you pick)…the next tender arrived and we were on our way. This won’t be the end of our Kole story though…he’ll end up hanging out with us later in the cruise.

Grand Cayman is a beautiful island and we had a great day to explore it. Once we were all assembled at the port area we were escorted to the Amphibious Bus.

We all know what to expect when getting on a bus, climb up a couple of easy steps and you’re on. That’s not the case with an amphibious bus. That bus is way up there off the ground…which must be needed to hide all its lady boat parts (don’t boats have girl names?). So, instead of a couple of easy steps on to a bus…this required navigating an awkwardly steep ladder and then holding on to a rope as you cross over at the top. As I was nearing the top of that ladder I was really hoping they have one of those airplane chute slides for when we get off because going down is not going to be pretty.

We all get settled on the bus and away we go! We toured around the city for the first part. I believe our guide said something like there is a 3 to 1 ratio of banks to residents on the island. And, he said that money laundering really doesn’t occur there…that’s just in the movies. Okay…I may have exaggerated that bank ratio…but, there was a ridiculously large amount of them on that island with an even greater amount that exist ‘on paper’ only. But…they don’t launder money…wink, wink.

Here’s a random picture from driving through the streets.

Before long we’ve circled the downtown area and are back on the road near the water’s edge. We make a left turn in between two buildings and suddenly you’re on the ramp to enter the water. I have to wonder how many people have made an ill-timed wrong turn thinking this is a street only to find themselves in the water! Especially at night…or, during the day after too many banana daiquiris.

After a few minutes on the ramp to make some adjustments to turn our bus into our boat…away we go into that beautiful blue green water. And…look at what we find out here…

Next up…Part 6…Grand Cayman…continues

I lost it with, Noooooooo, he bent over. Haven't been on CCL yet but am trying the Vista next June. Absolutely loving your review, how do I find your other one on the Magic? Thanks

Thank you! Here's the link to my review of the Magic.

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=2113114

This one is actually 2473.

Ha ha...that would be correct! Thank you!!

Cabin numbers...directions...which side of the ship is port/starboard...left/right...yeah, I'm so bad. Door decorations aren't just for fun...they're a necessity with me. :D

Part 5…continues…including Evil Apples (aka Cards Against Humanity and the Banana Hammock incident)

When we cruised on the Magic, we brought along the Apples to Apples game and on a couple of nights the group of us would pull some tables and chairs together, out on Deck 5, and play and laugh out under the stars. This time, one of the minions brought along a card game that Terrorist minion would refer to as Evil Apples, actually known as Cards Against Humanity. The plan was for the minions to meet up at the back of the Lido deck after everyone had changed out of their elegant clothes to play the game.

The kids would not be playing this time. This is a game they’re very familiar with and play with their friends all the time…and…there are just some things they’re not willing to participate in with their Grandma! Which was a good thing…because she got a starring role in this version.

I’m not even sure how to explain the game so I just went to the source…here’s what the game says it is:

…Cards Against Humanity is a party game for horrible people. Unlike most of the party games you've played before, Cards Against Humanity is as despicable and awkward as you and your friends…

That pretty much sums it up. If you’re familiar with the Apples to Apples game…this would be its awkward, deviant, highly inappropriate third cousin twice removed.

The minions found an out-of-the-way corner all the way at the back of the Lido deck, so as not to disturb others, and proceeded to play the game. Some of the cards are just plain disturbing and the minions didn’t want to be overheard or impact others who were out enjoying the evening. They wanted to be respectful of their fellow cruisers. And, it was empty in the area so it wasn’t an issue. On occasion, a couple of people would sit down at a table very nearby…I’m not sure why when the entire area back there was empty…maybe they were drawn to the laughter…or maybe they’re NSA agents and just aren’t comfortable unless they’re listening in on someone…but, they usually wouldn’t stick around for long.

I ended up being late to the Evil Apples party because I had to cross the lido deck to get there. I discovered I’m like a moth to a bug-zapper when it comes to those movies on the big screen under the stars. I stopped to get a drink at the Blue Cantina bar and the next thing you know I’m getting a box of popcorn from the Red Rum bar and have propped myself on a stool…vacantly staring up at the big bright screen.

In my defense, the movie was the comedy called The Other Woman. I’ve tried to watch this movie two other times and have never seen the end. It was nearing the end. And…zap! I’m not moving.

Here’s a picture from another night when the movie was Into the Woods…yep, zapped again!

Eventually the movie ended…or I ran out of popcorn…and I remembered where I was supposed to be so I headed to the back to find the minions. I didn’t even need to look for them…the sound of the laughing was like a homing beacon. I pulled up a chair and joined in and that’s when I got to see Terrorist minion’s…my children’s 76 year old Grandma’s…starring role. The absolute worst of the cards (worst language and truly disturbing messages) would be handed to her to read. Because, they’re even funnier when the oldest person in the group has to read them! She took it in stride and here she is reading a card, with a few of our new minions on this trip looking on.

The game continued late into the night as everyone was having a great time. It was as we were about to wrap things up that our attention was drawn to the 2 women and 1 man climbing out of the pool. By now you know we’re from California. Pools, lakes, rivers, oceans we’ve all grown up around them. But…in California…guys wear board shorts. As they say in the California propaganda commercials, the California guys put their board shorts on one leg at a time. And…the longer the better when it comes to board shorts.

The thing that man was wearing as he exited the pool…that was not board shorts. A speedo would be considered board shorts next to that!

Yes, I understand it’s more of a European thing…but…all I can ask is…why?!!! It was part thong…part banana hammock. It looked like a sling slot pulled too tight. How can that possibly be comfortable?

Fortunately, it was time to wrap this party up and move on…so my eyes were happily diverted away from the pool.

And then, as we were standing there saying our goodbyes…a collective gasp is expelled from some of the minions and I’m completely startled when one their hands juts out and clasps on to my arm…her sharp fingernails digging into the flabby underside.

I slowly turn to look in the direction of all their wide eyed stares……and…..Nooooooooooo!

He’d bent over.

With his thongy backside facing us, it was as if the elasticity of that sling shot string had been pulled to its tightest and something was about to be flung out of that thing.

I am not sticking around to see that. I was through those doors and headed back to my cabin before the others had taken a step.

Next up…Part 6…Grand Cayman (Money laundering, Irish accents and…No wheels on this bus to go round and round)

Hmmmmm Do you care to share what those room numbers are on deck 2 in the aft. They are certainly big for OV.

The large OV room that was pictured is 2470. The one on the opposite side of the ship is 2473. Here's another view of 2470.

Magic will call on panama and Costa Rica next year.

http://www.carnival.com/itinerary/12-day-southern-caribbean-cruise/galveston/magic/12-days/js0/?evsel=J&numGuests=2&destination=all-destinations&dest=any&datFrom=052015&datTo=042017&dur=D3&shipCode=MC

 

On this 12 day reposition of the Magic, Panama is just a port stop, correct...the Magic doesn't actually go through the canal? I was interested in this cruise but was hoping to experience going through the canal.

Part 5 (Sea Day Sanctuaries, Evil Apples…and…Stirring Coffee with Bacon)

Just before heading to my cabin last night I stumbled upon a couple of minions on the Lido deck about to head to their cabin. In their arms they were each carrying a plate of pizza, a box of popcorn, a dish of cookies…and…a bowl of ice cream. They had just stopped to get a cup of lemonade when I approached. After a couple of minutes we said our goodbyes and they went off to their cabin to enjoy their late night feast.

The next morning they would share that they both ended up waking up in the middle of the night in terrible pain. They were moaning and groaning and holding their bellies…when one of the minion’s turns to the other and says…………..…I think it was the lemonade.

Yeah…that’s what it was…the lemonade!!

Today is our first sea day. The ship is beautiful, the weather is perfect…it’s going to be a great day!

My daughter has never been to a sea day brunch so that’s what she wanted us to do this morning. Several of the minions had planned to meet at 9:30am for brunch as well…but…we didn’t get that message. I’m thinking it’s still a little too early in the cruise for them to be ditching us on purpose so we’ll let this one slide as an oversight. The kids and I got to the restaurant around 10:30am and were quickly seated at a table near the back windows, with a beautiful view of the water.

Our waiter was quick and efficient and in no time we had a basket of pastries and had placed our order. The kids were going for the Steak and Eggs and I was having an omelet. It was my son that noticed, over to the left, the large table of minions still having brunch. We were a little hidden by the stairs so they hadn’t seen us. So now I’m torn…do I sit here and spy on them…or, do I go over there?

I’m kidding…there’s no need to spy…these minions do the funniest things right in front of me! You’d think they’d of learned from my last review…knowing that I would be shamelessly exploiting their mishaps! I head over to their table to say Good Morning and that’s when I notice the alarming amounts of bacon around the table. Not just one or two heaping dishes of bacon…there’s about 12 of them. And, I think I counted 6 people. That’s a lot of bacon!

The bewildered look on my face prompted one of the minions to explain. They had a miscommunication when ordering. What they thought they were ordering was bacon by the slice…not a serving. So, when each individual ordered FOUR…they were quite surprised with what arrived! By the time I got there they were garnishing their caramel cheesecake with crumbled pieces of bacon…as seen here.

And, they jokingly said that earlier they were using it to stir their coffee! Here’s a couple of minions with just some of the bacon.

I could see my breakfast arriving so I headed back to my table. The sea day brunch was delicious and the kids decided we’d need to eat breakfast in the dining room again.

Now it’s time for my favorite place on the ship! We cruised on the Glory several years ago. For that cruise, it was only my son with me. He had graduated from high school early and was already out of school. Some of the minions had selected the dates and my daughter was still in school so she had to stay home with Dad. For that trip…my son and I stayed on deck 2 in one of the two super-secret ocean view cabins near the back of the ship. These special cabins are a bargain because they’re the OV classification but they have 2 windows, 2 chairs, a table and a sofa and are closer in size to a suite. Here’s a picture of the one we stayed in…

When we decided to book the Glory again I immediately looked for this cabin…and…it was available! But, Carnival only sells it for two people…so, now I have a dilemma. How does one go about picking which child is their favorite? I’ve got a boy and a girl…there’s pros and cons to each. Maybe it’d be easier to pick a favorite if they were both the same sex. Should I flip a coin? Nah…you already know we booked a deck 8 balcony cabin instead. But, I wasn’t going to let that sweet cabin go to just anyone…so, I quickly contacted a minion and let them know it was there for the taking if the two of them wanted it. And…they snatched it right up!

It was when we stayed in that big cabin on deck two that I found my favorite spot…it’s deck 3. During the day on the outside area of deck 3 they’ll place loungers out and it’s the perfect spot to be. You’re so close to the water line! (Have I mentioned how much I love the cove balconies on the Dream class of ships…this is probably why.) As you’re sitting in the loungers, you can actually feel the sea spray lightly misting you. And, little bits of sea salt accumulate on your body as you scan the horizon for sea life. I love to grab my eReader and my headphones…and a drink from the lobby bar that is just steps away…and spend a very relaxing time watching the waves roll by. Since it’s the same on either side of the ship you have the option of being in the sun or in the shade. What’s most surprising is that very few people go out there. It’s the perfect out-of-the-way place to relax, listen and feel the ocean waves.

There were plenty of times when I would want to be in the action by the Lido pool…accidentally stumbling upon the Hairy Chest Contest, watching the ice sculpting demo…but…deck 3…that was my happy place. By late afternoon all the lounge chairs will be put away…but, it’s still a beautiful place to step out and watch the sunset. Here’s deck 3 after the lounge chairs were put up.

So…tonight was our first elegant night and that means…lobster! Yum! It was cooked perfectly and the shrimp that came with it were perfect too. My son really likes to try new things when we’re on cruises so he always enjoyed trying the Rare Finds selections on the American Table menus. Some of the rare finds he had this time were Rabbit, Ox Tongue, Frog Legs and, of course, Escargot. And…my daughter and I had none of those.

As we were getting ready for the evening I wanted to get a picture of the kids out on the balcony all dressed up…but…instead I got the typical bunch of crazy poses from them…like this.

Here’s hoping one of the minions got a picture with them.

I’ve reached my picture limit for this post…so…

Next up…Part 5…continues...including Evil Apples (aka Cards Against Humanity...and...the Banana Hammock incident)

Part 4 – Bye Miami…continues

After sail away it was time to head for our first early seating dinner. This would be our first time with the American Table menu. Prior to the cruise we had linked all our reservations so that the 12 of us would be seated together. And also for our first time, we were assigned to the mid-ship dining room on the upper floor, we’ve always been in the larger aft dining rooms on other cruises.

When the kids and I walked in we were promptly escorted to the very first two tables in from the door…this was easy! The restaurant was lovely, decorated in a Japanese Cherry Blossom theme. It would take a couple of days before we’d stop asking each other whether they were sunburned…finally getting used to seeing everyone with the added glow from the pinkish/red tinged lights.

Since it was Terrorist minion’s birthday that day and another minion’s birthday the day before, some Party Princess hats had been brought for the birthday girls. Also, some very large sparkly gems were brought and spread around the two tables to add to the festivities.

Now let me just apologize in advance…and…please know, this was not a reflection upon anyone’s culture…it wasn’t long before one of the minions reached down, picked up a gem, licked the back of it…and promptly stuck it to their forehead. Well…monkey see…monkey do…and, soon we all were sporting cartoonishly large gems upon our foreheads. And…it was time to meet our dining room team.

First impressions being what they are…imagine walking up to our two tables and seeing things like the party princesses…

Or…a variety of minions sporting cartoonishly large gems upon their foreheads.

So, what did the servers do? Reached down, picked up gems, licked the backs and adhered them to their own foreheads! Needless to say, we became very fast friends! We had the wonderful team of Gusti (Goose), Eric and Ramon. And here are Goose and Eric…sporting cartoonishly large gems on their own foreheads!

They kept them on the entire time, even while serving their other tables! We were truly lucky to have these 3 as our dining room team for the cruise. They were fantastic…and, had a sense of humor in addition to their wonderful service.

I think we all really enjoyed the changes to the American Table menu. The new tables are lovely and the food was delicious. The bread plates had various designs on them reflecting major American cities and one evening, one of the minions noticed that the Philadelphia plate, with the Declaration of Independence, matched a tattoo my son has on his upper arm. They were comparing it at the table…as seen here.

Surprisingly...we had a few challenges with the butter. These challenges are not to be confused with the recent ButterGate issues on Cruise Critic. We had different issues. The first butter incident occurred that first dinner. A couple of the minions have always been very enamored with the dainty dome covered butter dishes…to a point where there have been times when these have appeared wrapped up under Christmas trees (no, not pilfered from the ship…they bought them). But, there are no dainty dome covered butter dishes on the American Tables. Instead, there’s a sleek, contemporary square butter receptacle.

I guess the new sleek, contemporary square butter receptacle needed to come with instructions because that first night, Terrorist minion thought it was a block for setting the wine on and discovered her mistake when trying to move it and sinking her fingers…up to her first knuckles…into the butter! In her defense, those pinkish tinged lights did cause it to look a little like rose colored granite…and, also…because she’s OLD! (Ha ha…I’m completely kidding about that OLD part. I had to do that because I know she’s reading along on this review!!! Sorry, Mom!)

The second butter incident occurred a little later in the cruise. Several of the butter knives were missing from the table…and when I asked for them there was a bit of a misunderstanding. Instead of knives...6 more sleek, contemporary butter filled receptacles were quickly delivered. Now we had 8 dishes of butter…and no knives! It was very quickly resolved.

After dinner we were walking around the ship and exploring different areas when we had our first encounter with ‘the saddest performer on the ship’. He was singing and playing his guitar on the lobby stage. And, he was wonderful! An extremely talented performer. It was when he would stop singing that things would go downhill.

Picture this, the lobby is filled with happy people on their first night of the cruise. People are chatting at the bar, the seats around the stage are full with smiling faces…people are dancing to his upbeat tempo…and, his song ends. Instead of picking right back up again with another song…in a very flat monotone voice he says…only 4 more months…2 weeks…5 days…12 hours…42 minutes…and…7 seconds until I’ll be done performing on this ship.

And…cue the awkward uncomfortable silence. Uh…was that supposed to be funny?!!

And then he follows it up with…I could have been in Baltimore right now. (What?? They’re rioting in the streets there right now. Not funny.)

It was like watching a backwards game of Musical Chairs…when the music stopped people got out of the chairs…and left!

He was a really great singer and performer…very talented. But he thought he was a comedian too…and he wasn’t. On another afternoon, I was subjected to his spiel of why Carnival got rid of Funship Freddie…because he smoked all the time…because he was a funnel. And…Freddie’s hanging around truck stops now begging for used oil.

I’m thinking his shows should come with a warning…or at least some antidepressants.

I knew what I needed after the morose monologue…a funny movie and popcorn…so, off I went to the Lido deck! Eventually I would come back to the cabin to find this darling crab…

Next up…Part 5 (Sea Day Sanctuaries, Evil Apples…and…Stirring Coffee with Bacon)

Part 4 – Bye Miami (Party Princesses, Namaste and…the saddest performer on the ship.)

We stopped by the room around 2:00pm and our luggage and room steward were there. Our steward’s name was Teague, which can only be pronounced correctly by pretending you have a thick New York Bronx accent and are trying to say Tiger (Tyg-ah). Teague was wonderful…my favorite kind of room steward…always a smiling face and a cheerful hello in the halls, wonderful towel animals each evening, fast and efficient room care…just perfect!

I’m not sure where you stand on towel animals…but, I like them. It must be that they appeal to the creative side of me…because in my regular life, it’s hard to imagine a towel as anything other than more laundry for me to do! Some of the minions received towel animals only sporadically…while we got them every night…and, got two on the last sea day. And…some of the towel animals the others received were a little hard to decipher…….are those its legs or is this from the adult’s only versions of towel animals?!! I would not want to walk in to THAT in my room! Fortunately for us, Teague had mastered the art.

Yes…I like towel animals…NO…I will NOT get my picture taken with the towel animal guy that they drag out to the gangway in some of the ports…he’s creepy. And, I’d end up having nightmares that the towel animal zoo in my room is going to come to life…and sing bad karaoke to me!

And now…we interrupt your regularly scheduled fun for a muster drill.

What can I say about muster? On our last cruise on the Magic, we were in a cove balcony on deck 2 (have I mentioned how much I absolutely LOVE the cove balconies) so our muster meetup was in a dining room. How easy is that…come in, have a seat, watch the presentation. No such luck on the Glory…it’s back outside where the tip of your nose is pressed up to the back of someone else’s head…and you don’t dare move your arms for fear of touching someone inappropriately. Oh good…it’s raining…I was beginning to think the collective sweat from all these bodies was creating its own weather phenomenon. It’s really coming down now…that’s going to make sail away interesting.

Let’s not dwell on muster. I know it’s a necessary regulation and I have no problem with it. It’s just irritating…to have to watch the whole rule followers versus the entitled parade. Maybe I’ll just skip it next time…………I’m kidding!

And……Radio Silence commences in T-minus…….60………59………58……I think I see smoke coming from the kids cell phones.

When we were in the cabin earlier I glanced at the day’s Fun Times and this is where you’ll hear the only complaint I have about Carnival. Listed in each day’s Fun Times is Today’s Top Ten. On the list for number 4 today, our very first day, was the Kentucky Derby Viewing Party in the EA Sports Bar. It was starting at 5:30pm with the race to begin at 6:24pm. THIS IS IT…I thought!!!! This is how I’m going to win a fortune so that I can quit my job and take lots of cruises on Carnival fun ships…so that I can continue to write ridiculously long cruise reviews! Because, the Kentucky Derby isn’t until May 2nd…the day we get back. It’s April 25th…I am DEFINITELY going to be at this Carnival time traveling event to see who wins so that I can BET BIG next Saturday!

And, all it took was one Kiss on the Lips and a beautiful Miami sail away for me to completely forget about the time traveling event I’m supposed to be at…curse you Carnival and your mind numbing fun!!

The rain stopped in time for sail away and it was time to head out of Miami! I love looking at the mansions and yachts as we sail by.

I had to take a picture of this amazing pool in South Beach.

And then the main road. I just love all the colors.

I haven’t been there yet but the minions that stayed there for a couple of nights in the Art Deco district (shown below as we sailed away…the minions…not the Art Deco district) informed me that South Beach is very fun but it’s really not like the movie…The Birdcage. What a disappointment that was.

And, one last picture of South Beach. For this one I had the minion standing next to me and she’s pointing and excitedly saying…that’s the one…right there…right at the beach…that’s where we stayed…THE WHITE ONE!!!

Do you see how many white buildings are in that picture?!! Oh...yeah...I see it...very nice! :D

3……..2………1…….…and…......initiate Radio Silence.

Next up…Part 4 – Bye Miami…continues

Great review so far.

Your decorations are adorable. Do you use a cricut?

Thank you! Yes, I do use a cricut! I love it. I use the Explore Air.