I am so sorry for your loss. It must be so hard, but you seem to be making steps to take care of yourself. My first solo cruise as well. I am newly separated, and am taking a Christmas cruise to provide space between my husband and I, and to allow my kids to have time with each of us, alone. No idea if I am doing the right thing, but - plunging ahead!
I have booked the Celebrity Solstice out of Los Angeles, leaving December 19th. They had a great solo rate, but I don't know what they are charging now. Just 7 days to Mexico and back, Christmas in port in Ensenada, which will probably be shuttered up tight, but I need to do something new. I am looking forward to a whale watching trip in Puerto Vallarta. We have a roll call if you want to see who else is joining this trip. Virtual hugs to you
Colleen