Memorial for Daughter need ideas...

[Moxie75]

I'm getting married March 18th on the Fantasy and My Boyfriend's 12 year old Daughter was killed in a car accident 2 years ago. I would like to do some small memorial at our wedding but don't want a candle. Can anyone give me ideas? I never got to meet her and want to let him know that I wanted to somehow include her in the day as well.

[maddam_5maria]

I'm getting married March 18th on the Fantasy and My Boyfriend's 12 year old Daughter was killed in a car accident 2 years ago. I would like to do some small memorial at our wedding but don't want a candle. Can anyone give me ideas? I never got to meet her and want to let him know that I wanted to somehow include her in the day as well.

 

A picture and a favorite stuffed animal sitting on a chair would be a nice way to "have her there"...but it may also be hard on him. I am not sure I could pass a chair or memorial on my wedding day if it were my child. I would be am emotional wreck. I'd only consider this if he has 100% accepted that she has moved on.

[PennyAgain]

A photo with a bouquet of flowers in a quiet location. A note of memorial. With your fiance's approval of course. What is done in your faith?

[jamir]

I'm getting married March 18th on the Fantasy and My Boyfriend's 12 year old Daughter was killed in a car accident 2 years ago. I would like to do some small memorial at our wedding but don't want a candle. Can anyone give me ideas? I never got to meet her and want to let him know that I wanted to somehow include her in the day as well.

We lost our 1st daughter at birth. As a way to remember her we bought a vase from David's bridal with a memorial saying on it and ordered flowers from carnival.

[udelmom]

My DD was married in November. She was a twin and her sister didn't survive their very premature birth. We all wanted her sister to be part of the wedding so she and I had soft pink roses in our bouquets and my DH and DS (her honor attendant) wore cuff links with a pink mother of pearl stone in them. It was our very private way to acknowledge her absence and our love. My daughter has been gone a long time but it is still a painful thing for our family, especially at an emotional occasion. Maybe some type of remembrance that is only between the two of you rather than something public would be easier for him since the hurt is so recent. My son in law's father died of leukemia, the kids' had boxes of M&M's as favors that were his favorite candy. Again, the significance was only known to a few people. I think its wonderful you want to include her but perhaps something with a private meaning to just the two of you would be easier for him. This is only my opinion on what was best for us. Sorry to be so long winded. Much happiness to you both.

[maddam_5maria]

My DD was married in November. She was a twin and her sister didn't survive their very premature birth. We all wanted her sister to be part of the wedding so she and I had soft pink roses in our bouquets and my DH and DS (her honor attendant) wore cuff links with a pink mother of pearl stone in them. It was our very private way to acknowledge her absence and our love. My daughter has been gone a long time but it is still a painful thing for our family, especially at an emotional occasion. Maybe some type of remembrance that is only between the two of you rather than something public would be easier for him since the hurt is so recent. My son in law's father died of leukemia, the kids' had boxes of M&M's as favors that were his favorite candy. Again, the significance was only known to a few people. I think its wonderful you want to include her but perhaps something with a private meaning to just the two of you would be easier for him. This is only my opinion on what was best for us. Sorry to be so long winded. Much happiness to you both.

 

Totally agree!

[JLC@SD]

I'm getting married March 18th on the Fantasy and My Boyfriend's 12 year old Daughter was killed in a car accident 2 years ago. I would like to do some small memorial at our wedding but don't want a candle. Can anyone give me ideas? I never got to meet her and want to let him know that I wanted to somehow include her in the day as well.

 

I would do a single red rose.....to represent her presence....

[6rugrats]

I really like the flower idea. Very subtle and only you both would know about it.

[jerseygirl79]

This is so thoughtful of you. This is likely still very raw for the family. Personally, a photo would be too much for me and would make me sad. I'd set up a small table with an item(s) that represents who she was.....like a pom pom if she were a cheerleader, or cookies if she were a girl scout, picture(s) of her favorite singer, actress....a small memory table...instead of a candle, maybe confetti, glitter or something young girls like.

[fungirl76]

I know you said you don't want a candle, but would like to share with you what I did on my wedding day to include my sister who has passed. I had a candle made with her picture on it and also included a saying.....

 

"Those we love don't go away

they walk beside us every day

unseen, unheard, but always near,

still loved, still missed and very dear"

 

You can also have him light the candle as part of your wedding ceremony...

[chiquitita]

What a touching gesture.

 

I think personally I would wear a locket with her picture in it, as stated earlier it would be a small acknowledgment between the two of you but not too 'in his face' if you see what I mean.

 

Diane x

[jerseygirl79]

What a touching gesture.

 

I think personally I would wear a locket with her picture in it, as stated earlier it would be a small acknowledgment between the two of you but not too 'in his face' if you see what I mean.

 

Diane x

 

That's a good idea. And I know what you mean about too "in his face". Everyone handles grief differently.

[satshirpro]

That's a good idea. And I know what you mean about too "in his face". Everyone handles grief differently.

Great little topic.

And Nice work--thank you for sharing- for me this makes perfect sense though.;)

[cigal]

This is so thoughtful of you. This is likely still very raw for the family. Personally, a photo would be too much for me and would make me sad. I'd set up a small table with an item(s) that represents who she was.....like a pom pom if she were a cheerleader, or cookies if she were a girl scout, picture(s) of her favorite singer, actress....a small memory table...instead of a candle, maybe confetti, glitter or something young girls like.

 

This is an excellent suggestion. I have one thing to add. Take one of these items and find a way to incorporate it in your bouquet.

For example.........

If she was a cheerleader - find a really small pom-pom and put it somewhere in your bouquet,

If she liked pink and glitter - get a pink rose and spray it with glitter (or some how make it sparkle). Then, bring it with you and add it to the bouquet.

 

Those are just a couple of ideas - but I know you will think of something amazing!! You seem like a sweet and caring person.

 

But remember, whatever you do - she will be there with you and I'm sure she'll be looking down on you both, and smiling.......:)

[Essence08]

How about attaching a small locket or frame with her photo in it to your bouquet?

 

If you do a google search for photoframe charm or something similiar you'll find lots of ideas.

 

Again its very subtle, no one but your close family need to know it is there, but you and your husband will know his daughter is there with you.

 

I also like the idea of having a single flower in your bouquet that represents her. I don't think I could have a big display, but the flower or a photo charm is a simple yet meaningful way to remember her.

 

Best wishes for your wedding.

[4evercruiser]

I am including my grandmother's prayer book in my bouquet. She passed away 8 years ago and I wanted to make sure she was a part of my wedding.

[Moxie75]

Thank you all so much for your ideas.. The photo locket was an idea but since she wasn't my daughter and I never got the pleasure of knowing her I didn't think I should be the one to have that on my bouquet. But his Daugther Laura is my Maid of Honor can I include this locket in her bouquet?? Just a thought.. Thanks again for any and all ideas..

[maddam_5maria]

Thank you all so much for your ideas.. The photo locket was an idea but since she wasn't my daughter and I never got the pleasure of knowing her I didn't think I should be the one to have that on my bouquet. But his Daugther Laura is my Maid of Honor can I include this locket in her bouquet?? Just a thought.. Thanks again for any and all ideas..

 

Sounds like you got a plan! That is totally appropriate & thoughtful in every way!