How do you get others to join you?

[caribbound]

One of my downfalls in vacationing either with my spouse or kids, is that I'm always jealous to varying degrees of those who travel either with good friends or a large group of extended family (that they actually ENJOY being with). Even reading the boards I have to fight it off sometimes. I try and try with nearly no luck. We've had a fabulous experience meeting a family we hadn't seen since our honeymoon, sharing a house w/ 10 ppl and 3 dogs for a week, and an ok but wouldn't do it again experience w/ another family at WDW. I'm very good at finding excellent deals no matter where we vacation, but money or other travel plans are the biggest reasons given.

 

So, I'm wondering if any of you seasoned travelers have tips on how to find families you click well with to travel with. Close extended family isn't really a choice, other than sisters only or one cousin.

 

My son is also wanting to bring a friend on our next cruise (which will be his first) so if you have tips on how to make that work best and get the other's parents on board with the cost and pulling out of school, I'm open to suggestions.

 

This is the first time we've really planned over a year in advance with little room to flex so may as well book it now. The advance notice I'm hoping will give more incentive to others to go for it. I know travel partners need to be chosen wisely... been there, done that, even thinking we had chosen well... My girls will make friends on the boat, and probably ds would as well but he's not convinced of that. I, on the other hand, have a hard time making friends in a crowd, and even if I hit it off with someone, that's not to say spouses or kids will jump on board w/ hanging out with each other.

 

Am I hoping for too much? :(

[Kerry's Girls]

I did it by choosing who I thought might be interested and getting some idea of where they'd like to go and when, then finding the very best deal and letting them know - then they could book it direct or with their own travel agent. But I must say, I wouldn't do it again. I ended up feeling responsible for everyone being happy and different people had all kinds of different complaints and expectations. For what it added to the trip to have some friends on board, I lost out on just relaxing and enjoying my family. I've had much better luck meeting people on the roll call and enjoying their company on board.

 

Best,

Mia

[misc]

My family has always cruised as a group. In fact, on our first cruise in 2006, we were the family members invited to join a larger group. We had not been cruisers before this. Now, I am often the one making the plans.

One reason that I think it works for us is that we don't expect to do everything together. People have different interests, kids run on different schedules. We all know and agree ahead of time that we will often take excursions separately. Everyone can visit their priority sites without feeling that they are being dragged along. However, it's wonderful in the mornings to have breakfast together, meet for a mid-afternoon snack, and have dinner together.

The family members we travel with do not live near us, so there is always a sense of reunion that keeps the dinner conversation lively and fun.

[notentirelynormal]

My family has always cruised as a group. In fact, on our first cruise in 2006, we were the family members invited to join a larger group. We had not been cruisers before this. Now, I am often the one making the plans.

One reason that I think it works for us is that we don't expect to do everything together. People have different interests, kids run on different schedules. We all know and agree ahead of time that we will often take excursions separately. Everyone can visit their priority sites without feeling that they are being dragged along. However, it's wonderful in the mornings to have breakfast together, meet for a mid-afternoon snack, and have dinner together.

The family members we travel with do not live near us, so there is always a sense of reunion that keeps the dinner conversation lively and fun.

 

My family also cruises together. We, unlike misc, do live relatively close. For us, that's why it works. We always have fun at our family get togethers - well ok we have the usual OMG experiences. But we genuinely like each other. I love spending time with my niece and nephews, having the cousins spend time together is worth any sacrifice. I loved that growing up and enjoy my kids getting the same experience. Later at family get togethers we can all talk and share the same great adventures. I also travel with friends. They then become like family. Dinner is the required get together time with a couple of private parties thrown in but otherwise we are mostly on our own. This, and the last in Australia, will be a lot of shore excursions together. Again, its shared memories. Now my kids - they say as long as I'm paying for them and their family, they are willing to sacrifice and go where ever I pay to take them :rolleyes:. Heavy sigh here. But, the bottom line is, its trial and error some times but the less you know them, the more you want them on their own on the cruise. Like Kerry's girls said, I pick the itinerary and time and let everyone know and if you want to join, then fine. I also will help arrange air, hotels and everything else but I say, "I'm going here, then, do you want to come?"

[caribbound]

I definitely believe in that you don't have to do EVERYTHING together, and know what you mean by feeling responsible both with the stress of planning and if things go wrong during the trip.

 

I'm hoping that having this one planned so far in advance we can put it out there like you say, just let them know what we're booked on and invite them to join us.

 

I love having the cousins close in age and able to have fun together at holidays and birthdays, but even there we often have tensions with at least one adult family member and everyone has different priorities on where to spend money, ours being vacation time/memories. My kids will make friends no matter where they are (other than the older teen anyway), it's me and my husband (who would be happy sleeping all day and never talking to anyone he's not related to at night) that have a hard time. Funny thing is that when it's HIS group of ppl, he's a social butterfly.

 

Keep the ideas coming!

[CanadianTwosome]

I really think the only thing you can really do is provide the information and make it known that you'd like company. After that, the other people have to decide for themselves if it's something they're interested in, if they can afford it, and if they can make the dates work. Keep in mind that your love of cruising may or may not be shared by others. For the life of me I can't figure out why my sister would rather go to Vegas (she doesn't even gamble), but that's her choice. Thankfully, my mom is 'on board' with me (pun intended) and has been joining us every other year. :)

 

On the other hand, a few years ago we met a family on our roll call with a daughter the same age as ours, and spent almost the entire cruise with them. We haven't been able to travel with them again since due to the insanely restrictive school rules where they live, but we're hoping to meet them in FL this summer.

 

As for taking another child, again, all you can do is give the other parents the information and then leave the decision up to them. If you're willing to pay for some portion of the other child's travel, make it very clear how much that will be and what the remainder will be that they will be responsible for. Also, I think it's best to discuss it with the parents first before the kids; that way if they say 'no' there will be less disappointment.

[Onessa]

DH's family is emotionally close and we have traditional times when we get together throughout the year (4th up "north" in the family home town, Labor Day weekend at a cousin's place in the western suburbs of Chicago) -- whoever can make it does, no one gets bent out of shape if someone can't. They are scattered across the MidWest.

 

These get togethers work, but I can't imagine travelling with any of the families. Too many different priorities. And I don't want to give up MDR dinners with our 10 or 12 top -- we meet the most interesting people that way!

 

For domestic "road trips" we often bring a friend or cousin along for company for our now 14YO, but never have for our overseas trips or other cruises.

 

The three of us get along very well and generally meet up with other cruisers/travelers on the trip. We don't stress over it.

[CruizinMom2c]

We tried to travel as a group...got up to 15 or so people at one point...but of course when the final payment was due..everyone backed out :( Oh well..it gave us the chance to go to Disney world instead and that was worth it.

 

 

 

so far we usually have one other person go with us..either my MIL or our good friend...but this time just the 3 of us :)

[A&Emom]

We're pretty easygoing and are pretty willing to travel with anyone as long as they can pay their own way. If I find a good deal I let people know about it. If someone else mentions a good trip I let them know I'm interested and see if we can make it work. Last year my dh's aunt took her children on a cruise/tour of Alaska. When she invited his parents, we looked into it but it was too expensive. At the last minute we got a good deal on the cruise only part and were able to join them. My 6yo is still talking about it. She loved vactioning with her cousins since we only get to see them once a year. 2 get togethers we've planned since have been canceled due to weather.

 

I've just book the Disney Dream for next year. At my Valentine's Day party I told every one about it and 2 couples are already looking into it. Then I realized that I had traveled with everyone in the room.

[todareistodo]

My family has been going with our whole extended familly for the last 4 years...grew from 15 or so to close relatives to over 40 people including distant cousins and extremely close family friends on our last cruise.

 

The best thing we do is make sure nobody feels obliged to do everything with the group. Dinner is usually with the huge group in a corner of the dining room, but many nights a couple will go to a specialty resturaunt by themselves and leave the kids with the group. They love it because they get alone time and the grandparents love the alone time with the grandkids. We do late dinner, so sometimes the kids will leave early to get to an activity, no big deal.

 

Excursions we usually split up into groups...one group wants to beach it one group wants a tour etc. We might meet up for a drink or something to eat at a Carlos and Charlies type place before we board, depending on the day.

 

Its really a great way to get the family together, especially concerning the meals. We looked at doing a land based vacation but the thought of making reservations for 40 just doesnt sound like a good idea.

[njmomof2]

We often travel with my mom, making our group 5 people. However, this Christmas break, we are booked for a 4 night cruise out of Miami with my family (4), my mom (1) and my sister's family (4, possibly 5).

 

We have never actually vacationed with my sister and her family. We did meet up with them once in WDW when DS#1 was younger and our trips overlapped by a couple of days, but that's it. My sister, while only being 3 years older than me, is in a completely different place in life. Her daughters are 23.5, graduated from college and working and 20.5 and a sophomore in college. She and BIL have been married over 25 years and have been together more than 30 so they spend a ton of time together and travel quite a bit.

 

My family, OTOH, is younger. My boys are 12 and 7.5, DH and I have been married going on 14 years, together going on 15. Our pursuits are much more geared towards what makes the kids happy, rather than doing stuff on our own as a couple. So our vacation styles have not been that compatible over the years.

 

But we're trying it this year. Figure on the cruise, if DS wants to get a massage, she can. My kids can enjoy the water slide without anyone having to go with them. At our port stops, we want to head to Paradise Beach, she wants to do something completely different. No worries. We'll see each other for dinner and recount our activities.

 

I think that travelling with a group can be a challenge, but you have to remember you are not responsible for anyone's enjoyment. You can tell them what you've planned, say you'd love it if they wanted to join you, and give them the details. The rest is up to them. Set up a time for everyone to get together (dinner is great) but don't expect to spend 24 hrs a day with anyone (I've read reports of family/friend trips that were disasterous because one group felt they had to spend every waking minute with the other).

 

I hope that you manage to get something together in the future. If not, don't sweat it. Not all families are meant to vacation together.

[alise007]

I would love to be able to travel with others as well but pinning down my relatives would be like nailing jello to the wall! Friends--most of them have different ideas of vacations compared to us or finances won't allow it...

 

I do have my Aunt going on our next 2 trips. My kids LOVE her like a grandmother and she and I are very close. My hubby gets along with her as well. She is pretty much laid back and will go along with what we decide to do. Sometimes I wish she would speak up though and have an opinion! I think just getting away and seeing different things is enough for her!

 

I think a cruise would be a great way to get to the same destinations without having to do the same thing each moment! Heck -don't even have to dine together! BUT you can meet up for drinks later if you choose!

 

My IN Laws may go with us on an Alaskan Cruise next year but we are NOT holding our breath that they will actually do it. So we are planning assuming they won't go and will be happy if they do.

[pg.]

We would love to travel with most of our family,, but no way would be pay for them,, and no one( in our group) is rich enough to pay for their adult kids,, wow, that must be so nice.

 

We did offer to take our young adult ( 19 yr old) son and his girlfriend on a family ski trip just before Christmas, but informed son that girlfriend would be sharing room with his little sister,, not him( they live together) .. he was not amused and elected not to come,, his choice.

 

We have taken two trips to Hawaii with my close friend and her family,, and they were fun. Its just difficult getting everyone off work or school at same time, and with the money.

 

I have a feeling if one wins a lottery and offers to pay for everyone,, they guess what,, pretty well everyone you invite would come.. LOL

[tampabrat22]

We have been on 6 cruises and everyone has been with a group! The last cruise was the smallest with only 8 of us (2 couples, 1 family) and the largest group was 40+ for my cousins wedding cruise. Honestly I dont know what I'd do with myself without the friends and family tagging along, lol!!

 

I do have to say though, it is hard to agree on dates, ships or itinararies...so the last 3 cruises and our upcoming one, my cousin and I select the cruise and then start inviting our friends and family...if they can go, they do and if not, theres always next time!

 

And as far as activities...everyone seems to do their own thing during the day, we make sure the kids have some pool time together, some of us catch up with each other for lunch or go to shows/activities together, everyone kind of just branches off to the things that interests them but we always have dinner in the MDR as a group. That gives us all a chance to catch up and spend some quality time together. In ports, basically its the same thing, we split up, some of us go to the beaches, some do excursions and some do shopping....thats what is so great about cruising, there is something for everyone!