Friday Giggle 30th April

[kiwi sailor]

Couldn't find a good joke to kick off this weeks giggle, so here's a riddle instead. I'll post the answer on Monday, if it doesn't get worked out meantime.

 

You are on a ship, over the side hangs a rope ladder with half meter rungs. The tide rises a half meter per hour. At the end of five hours, how much of the ladder will remain above the water assuming that nine rungs were above the water when the tide began to rise?

[am1984]

Couldn't find a good joke to kick off this weeks giggle, so here's a riddle instead. I'll post the answer on Monday, if it doesn't get worked out meantime.

 

You are on a ship, over the side hangs a rope ladder with half meter rungs. The tide rises a half meter per hour. At the end of five hours, how much of the ladder will remain above the water assuming that nine rungs were above the water when the tide began to rise?

 

As the ship will also rise with the tide the same nine rungs will be above the water line after 5 hours.

[Sandielle]

Yep, I agree - was going to say you can't catch me with that one. :D

 

Forgot about the giggle - haven't been sent many jokes this week. Will have a look. :rolleyes:

[Bella cruiser]

A lady (first time cruiser) arrived a the terminal to find that there had been a mix-up with her cabin. The Purser was trying to remedy the situation. He said 'Would you like an inside or an outside cabin'. She replied 'Well it looks like rain today so I might get an inside'.

 

Jenny

[Bella cruiser]

Walking past a Travel Agent a blonde spoted a sign saying 'Special Cruise only $99', she went in paid her money and the TA ushered her into the back room and placed her in an inner tube, pushed her out the back door and rolled her down the hill into the river.

 

A few minutes later a second blonde also saw the sign went in paid her money and the same thing happened. Floating along in the current, blonde no 2 caught up with blonde no 1.

 

Blonde number 1 said 'Do you think they serve refreshments on this cruise' to which blonde no 2 replied 'Oh I don't think so, they didn't last year'.:D

 

 

Jenny (by the way I'm blonde)

[Sandielle]

Two sailors meet each other on a pier.

Both are dragging their right foot as they walk.

 

One points to his foot and says, "Pearl Harbour, World War II!"

 

The other points and says, "Seagull crap, 20 feet back!"

[Guest012]

Well-known cruiseline announced it was creating a line of no frills cruising...

The only way you ll see a chocolate on the pillow now is if the last guest was eating an M&M.

 

cheers Shiona

[Sandielle]

The transatlantic liner was experiencing particularly heavy weather, and Mrs Jones wasn't feeling well.

 

"Would you care for some more supper, ma'am?" asked the steward.

 

"No, thanks," replied the wretched passenger. "Just throw it overboard to save me the trouble."

[Australian family]

I will try again:

 

 

Cruise Ship VS Nursing Home

About 2 years ago my wife and I were on a cruise through the western Mediterranean aboard a Princess liner.

At dinner we noticed an elderly lady sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the main dining room.

I also noticed that all the staff, ships officers, waiters, busboys, etc., all seemed very familiar with this lady.

 

I asked our waiter who the lady was, expecting to be told that she owned the line, but he said he only knew that she had been on board for the last four cruises, back to back.

 

As we left the dining room one evening I caught her eye and stopped to say hello. We chatted and I said,

"I understand you've been on this ship for the last four cruises".

She replied, "Yes, that's true."

I stated, "I don't understand" and she replied, without a pause,

"It's cheaper than a nursing home".

 

So, there will be no nursing home in my future. When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship.

The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day.

I have checked on reservations at Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day.

That leaves $65 a day for:

 

1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.

 

2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service

(which means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week).

 

3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night.

 

4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.

 

5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient.

An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

 

6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.

 

7. T.V. broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience.

 

8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.

 

9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare;

if you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

 

Now hold on for the best!

Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you want to go?

Princess will have a ship ready to go.

So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.

 

PS. And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side

at no charge

[kiwi sailor]

Next time you think your hotel bill is too high you might want to consider this...

 

A husband and wife are traveling by car from Brisbane to Melbourne ..

 

After almost ten hours on the road, they're too tired to continue and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.

 

When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk; hands them a bill for $450.00.

 

The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren't worth $450.00.

 

When the clerk tells him $450.00 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.

 

The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use.

 

'But we didn't use them,' the man complains

 

'Well, they are here, and you could have,' explains the Manager. He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. 'The best entertainers from New York , Hollywood , and Las Vegas perform here,' the Manager says.

 

'But we didn't go to any of those shows, 'complains the man again.

 

'Well, we have them, and you could have,' the Manager replies.

 

No matter what amenity the Manager mentions! the man replies, 'But we didn't use it!'

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a cheque and gives it to the Manager.

 

The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. 'But sir,' he says, 'this cheque is only made out for $50.00.'

 

'That's correct,' says the man. 'I charged you $400 for sleeping with my wife.'

 

'But I didn't!' exclaims the Manager.

 

'Well, too bad,' the man replies. 'She was here and you could have!'

[Gold Coast Cruisers]

Hahahahaha......I've just enjoyed 'Fridays giggle.....on Sunday!! :D

 

Sorry I had forgotten. Will get some for next Fridays Giggle...:D

 

 

Jillybean:)

[yatchet]

so what happened to friday giggle I enjoyed reading it?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Yeah, your right thied, I didn't see one last friday, but I liked this one, it was just for you !

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=1183032&page=2

[yatchet]

The last one, about the guy on the wharf.