Friday Giggle 14th May

[kiwi sailor]

Are there any gators?

 

For his vacation on the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "Are there any gators around here?!"

"Noo," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!"

Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?"

"We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got 'em."

[kiwi sailor]

Billy Bob says to Lester: "You know... I reckon I'm about ready for a vacation, only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice as to where to go. Two years ago you said to me to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii, and Marie got pregnant. Then last year, you told me to go to the Bahamas. I went to the Bahamas, and Marie got pregnant again."

Lester says: "So what you gonna do different this year?"

Billy Bob says: "This year, I'm going to take Marie with me..."

[Sandielle]

There once was a religious young woman who, after returning from her cruise, went straight to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.'

 

The Priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.'

 

The young woman said, 'Last night I met this gorgeous sailor who made mad, passionate love to me seven times.'

 

The Priest thought long and hard and then said, 'Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.'

 

The young woman asked, 'Will this cleanse me of my sins?'

 

The Priest said, 'No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited to add a 'cruise' flavour! ;)

[Bella cruiser]

A young officer on sea duty for the first time over heard a new recruit say he was going "downstairs".

 

'Listen Sailor' he snarled 'Downstairs is below, that side is Port, that side is Starboard, the front is the Bow and the back is the Stern. If I ever hear you say "downstairs" again, I'll throw you through that little round window over there!' :D

 

Jenny

[wildweston]

A married couple in their early 60's were celebrating thir 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet romantic little restuarant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said " For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish". The wife answered, Oh, I want to travel the world with my darling husband, the fairy waved her magic wand and -poof!- two tickets for the Queen Mary 11 appeared in her hands.

The husband thought for a moment: Well this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I am sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me. The wife and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.

So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof.... the husband became 92.

 

The moral if this story : Ungrateful men should remember that fairies are female ........