Adventures on the Carnival Conquest… a review of the Sep 26 7 day cruise to Cozumel

[Bimmie Girl]

Mach, it is great reading your post. Rick and i did the Behind the Fun Tour on the last day at sea. The Captain explained how he moved way south of the Caymans to avoid much of the storm as it was passing and because of it came in to Jamaica from the south end and using more fuel than usual because of it. He did indeed make 2 attempts to take the ship in but with 70 mile per hour winds and 12 foot waves (and with all excursions already being cancelled), he chose the safety of the ship and us!!!! He said the Conquest can easily handel 20 foot waves and these 12 foot waves were the biggest ones he had ever dealt with. We all thanked him for looking out for us. Several of us shook his hand. We were very impressed with everything involved in cancelling a port and how quickly the crew came together to reschedule the events of the day. We would highly recommend everyone take this tour at least once. It made us proud to be on such a fine ship.

 

We spoke with the chef, and his ordering of food for an additional 4 days, always, in case of mishaps, he did not miss a beat. We were most impressed with the steak house, The Point. We had also signed up for the chefs table were we got to go into the galley during the busiest time of the day 6:15 and see it in action. WOW if you have not done this you should. after visiting the galley and having champagne and 3 specially prepared appetizers, we moved on to a private dining room where the chef had 5-6 other chefs preparing an 8 course meal for us. The 11 of us were given a private magic show, asked tons of questions, and had unlimited wine while we dined on the chefs specials creations. We were given a Carnival Cook Book at the end signed by the chef. I was so full from fine dining that I made Rick walk the track with me in our dress clothes, LOL I look forward to reading more of your reviews and keeping this vacation alive for a little longer, thanks for the memories Mach

[*Mach*]

Crazies, you see, are famous (notorious???) for having parties. There are parties in Houston, there are parties in Dallas, parties in San Antonio but the grand daddy of them all is the Annual Central Texas Gathering hosted by none other than the amazing Dread Pirate Robert and his Princess. These fantastic people invite 50 or so Crazies into their lovely home, north of Austin, every year as a warm up for our cruise. There’s food, there’s trivia, there’s plenty of drink and, most importantly, there’s friends.

 

Now, I told you all of that to tell you this… At our cocktail party one of our number was missing… MIA. His wife was there but he was not. It seems that she took a nap and when she awoke he was gone… poofed… adios… no where to be seen. Normally, this is no sort of issue at all but THIS person had a function to perform, one that he had volunteered for.

 

Of course, there’s a back story here. Two years ago a good size bunch of us sailed on the Carnival Fantasy for John Heald’s Bloggers II cruise. Essentially, there were three groups… one group from a different cruise discussion forum, Big Ed’s Evil Crew and us… the Cruise Critic kids. Well, John wanted to revive one of the old shows… the Male Nightgown contest. Yeah… you read it… male nightgown contest. He asked that the leaders of the three groups play along and appear on stage in nightgowns. While I was in NOLA Stitch and I went to a WalMart and I purchased the now infamous leopard skin nightie. Uh huh. I did.

 

I’m sure that if worn by a woman it would look good… or at least not as terrible as it looked on me. I spent the entire evening consuming whatever I could find that contained even the minutest amount of alcohol in a failing effort to dull the pain associated with the impending disaster. Well, slightly before midnight we paraded onto the stage of the Universe Lounge and made utter fools of ourselves. Suffice it to say that Crazies unsupervised, left to their own devices, will do something ummmm… over the top.

 

When we debarked the ship and were headed home Stitch opened up my laptop to try to catch up a bit with what was happening on the Crazies thread. She looked at me and said ‘You’re not gonna like this.’ Every single one of the Crazies had changed their avatar to a picture of me in that leopard skin nightie… and we knew who did it.

 

Leap forward six months… we’re on the Carnival Conquest at our cocktail party. The perp was trapped. Sixgun8 was in my sights and he wasn’t going to escape. I called him up on stage and handed him the nightie. Flanked by some of the biggest Crazies we have he was forced to go behind the curtain and put on the nightie of shame.

 

Leap forward again to the Central Texas Gathering. Keith, of the wonderful comedy team of Keith and Elaina, stated boldly the HE would done the infamous nightie at our cocktail party. He assured us that he was secure in his manhood and wouldn’t be bothered a bit by prancing about in this rather diaphanous garment.

 

Leap forward one more time… the Crazies Cocktail Party on the Carnival Conquest. No Keith. Yep… he bolted… he was hiding, probably quaking in the security of his own manhood. He had abandoned us and has, therefore, earned a VERY special punishment on our Crazies cruise on the Ecstasy in February. Keith?? Are you out there, buddy?? 120 days and counting!!!

 

This is the infamous nightie…

 

 

And this is the infamous Keith. He deserves it, don’t you think?

 

 

We love you, Keith!!!

[barbevrn]

Thanks for being so kind...

 

Stitch is short for 'Stitchinfool' which is her Cruise Critic screen name. She's very talented doing that baffling complex cross stitch thing and is tremendously crafty in general. She makes candles and such so the house is constantly bathed in some wonderful scents... my favorite is 'Tropical Cocktail.' Smells like a pina colada factory!!!

 

:D

 

If I might take an additional second... we met because of Cruise Critic and Carnival. John Heald had told me that Carnival was going to shoot a commercial in Dallas and would I see if any of the Crazies would like to join in. I asked about and a bunch of the folks were ready to go!

 

A couple of the kids, Stitch included, needed a ride. I picked her and Lambie (lambnuckles...) up in Austin at 3:30 in the morning and we headed to Dallas for the day. To say I was intrigued would be an understatement.

 

We had our first date about a week after I returned from a sailing on the Splendor... the inaugural from Port Everglades... and we've been together ever since.

 

She's a brilliant gem and the best thing that's ever happened to me.

 

:)

 

 

Awwwww, and you me! :o:)

 

You two were a match made in heaven. I know I have talked to both of you at one point or another about fate and things happening for a reason. I believe you two were made for each other. The powers that be watched and waited until the perfect time to get you'll together. A time when you needed each other and could enjoy each other to the fullest. You two compliment each other nicely.

[*Mach*]

This review just keeps getting better and better. (I just naturally skip over all of the early negativity). But I am glad it seems to have simmered down. I was loving the swat team of fun theme and then Fun Ship Freddy even showed up. What a tremendous deal he was! And now your sweet story of how you met your stitch. I hope someday I can be crazie too.:D

 

 

C'mon along!!!

There's plenty of room in this Crazie family!

:D

 

[barbevrn]

 

Now that's funny, I don't care who you are.

 

lol, you just put me into a coughing fit of all fits.................

[KruznKel]

Have we hit Coz yet LOL:D:D:p:p

[Peachie1]

Done and done... part of the TEAM!!!

 

:D

 

 

Mach and Stitch. Please 'slap' me. I don't think I have ever said that before. I want to be a swatter, so please slap me as often as possible...

 

Peaches

[*Mach*]

Have we hit Coz yet LOL:D:D:p:p

 

 

Foo... at this moment we're circumnavigating the eventually to be tropical depression 16... We're still ready to rock in Jamaica, mon!

:D

 

[KruznKel]

Foo... at this moment we're circumnavigating the eventually to be tropical depression 16... We're still ready to rock in Jamaica, mon!

 

:D

 

 

LOL ya mon!!! I think I skipped way to far ahead..:p Love Jamaica.. hope they recover so that everyone can see that beautiful island and experience the wonderful people.. minus those that are the pushy kind :D

[*Mach*]

Mach, it is great reading your post. Rick and i did the Behind the Fun Tour on the last day at sea. The Captain explained how he moved way south of the Caymans to avoid much of the storm as it was passing and because of it came in to Jamaica from the south end and using more fuel than usual because of it. He did indeed make 2 attempts to take the ship in but with 70 mile per hour winds and 12 foot waves (and with all excursions already being cancelled), he chose the safety of the ship and us!!!! He said the Conquest can easily handel 20 foot waves and these 12 foot waves were the biggest ones he had ever dealt with. We all thanked him for looking out for us. Several of us shook his hand. We were very impressed with everything involved in cancelling a port and how quickly the crew came together to reschedule the events of the day. We would highly recommend everyone take this tour at least once. It made us proud to be on such a fine ship.

 

We spoke with the chef, and his ordering of food for an additional 4 days, always, in case of mishaps, he did not miss a beat. We were most impressed with the steak house, The Point. We had also signed up for the chefs table were we got to go into the galley during the busiest time of the day 6:15 and see it in action. WOW if you have not done this you should. after visiting the galley and having champagne and 3 specially prepared appetizers, we moved on to a private dining room where the chef had 5-6 other chefs preparing an 8 course meal for us. The 11 of us were given a private magic show, asked tons of questions, and had unlimited wine while we dined on the chefs specials creations. We were given a Carnival Cook Book at the end signed by the chef. I was so full from fine dining that I made Rick walk the track with me in our dress clothes, LOL I look forward to reading more of your reviews and keeping this vacation alive for a little longer, thanks for the memories Mach

 

 

It was a pleasure to meet you kids and great fun to sail with y'all.

I think the Captain was being modest but from the short time I spent with him I'm not surprised. The Conquest and handle a great deal more than 20 foot waves. This is an image of he smaller, older cousin, taking at 35 foot wave on the bow. John Heald was on the bridge when this occured:

 

Stitch and I were on the Dream when she sailed through 30 foot waves.

These vessels are stout... more stout than you or I could imagine.

I had total confidence in Captain Sammartano and the crew... never as single doubt in my Crazie mind.

:)

Hope we get to sail together again soon.

[*Mach*]

LOL ya mon!!! I think I skipped way to far ahead..:p Love Jamaica.. hope they recover so that everyone can see that beautiful island and experience the wonderful people.. minus those that are the pushy kind :D

 

 

Fortunately, the damage was not as severe as first reported. Jamaica can't afford billions to repair from storms.

I love that island... been goin' there for ages and I'll be back just as soon as I can...

:)

[SMSACE6]

Host Mach, I am loving your review! You and your friends look like such a fun group of people! I was on the Carnival Freedom the same week. I just wish I could learn to post a great review like this with photos. I will work on learning though. Again, great review, and I do love your writing style very much!:)

[big_duck]

It was a pleasure to meet you kids and great fun to sail with y'all.

 

I think the Captain was being modest but from the short time I spent with him I'm not surprised. The Conquest and handle a great deal more than 20 foot waves. This is an image of he smaller, older cousin, taking at 35 foot wave on the bow. John Heald was on the bridge when this occured:

 

 

Stitch and I were on the Dream when she sailed through 30 foot waves.

 

These vessels are stout... more stout than you or I could imagine.

 

I had total confidence in Captain Sammartano and the crew... never as single doubt in my Crazie mind.

 

:)

Hope we get to sail together again soon.

 

Yes he was, but that isn't a picture of it. That is a poor photoshop of the event.

[*Mach*]

Yes he was, but that isn't a picture of it. That is a poor photoshop of the event.

 

 

Dunno... John told me in person that was the photo taken by a Canadian Air Force C130 crew...

 

His dad has that exact same photo on the wall of his den.

:)

[big_duck]

Dunno... John told me in person that was the photo taken by a Canadian Air Force C130 crew...

 

His dad has that exact same photo on the wall of his den.

 

:)

 

Such a picture may exist and this could be it, but I find it hard to believe a ship could be hit by a wave that large and have zero pitch (or roll). ;)

 

But enough of this hijack ... get on with it.

[MsTabbyKats]

Such a picture may exist and this could be it, but I find it hard to believe a ship could be hit by a wave that large and have zero pitch (or roll). ;)

 

But enough of this hijack ... get on with it.

 

You'll find it on this video (at 1:17)

 

It could be that the the position was "upright" at the instant when the picture was taken....and then did some pitching.

[BlasterDave]

Host Mach, I am loving your review! You and your friends look like such a fun group of people! I was on the Carnival Freedom the same week. I just wish I could learn to post a great review like this with photos. I will work on learning though. Again, great review, and I do love your writing style very much!:)

 

Ooooooh Sparky said the H word. :eek::eek::D Mach, I am loving this review. Please keep it coming. Oh, and by the way, I need a good swatting.:p

[tess2cruz]

We had fun in our own peculiar landlocked & left behind way! I had a pretty good indoctrination to Craziness on Wednesday night...and paid for it at work on Thursday!:o

 

 

 

 

What a sweet story! I love a great romance!:)

 

 

 

 

There's my "Crazies Indoctrination Coordinator!":D Hi Teri!

 

Hi ya Cindy, glad to help out! You provided those 3 bottles of wine! Yeah, I know, it was only 2 but felt like 3 LOL Only thing I had to do the next day was pack and fly:D

[SMSACE6]

Ooooooh Sparky said the H word. :eek::eek::D Mach, I am loving this review. Please keep it coming. Oh, and by the way, I need a good swatting.:p

 

Did I do/say something wrong? Seriously loving the review.

[tess2cruz]

ROFLMBO.........I was offended by his use of robust and Walmart in the same sentence. I shop at Walmart.....was he infering that everything at Walmart is robust.

 

I shop at Walmart, and you saw the picture of my robust behind LMAO

[jetskier]

Leap forward one more time… the Crazies Cocktail Party on the Carnival Conquest. No Keith. Yep… he bolted… he was hiding, probably quaking in the security of his own manhood. He had abandoned us and has, therefore, earned a VERY special punishment on our Crazies cruise on the Ecstasy in February. Keith?? Are you out there, buddy?? 120 days and counting!!!

 

This is the infamous nightie…

 

 

And this is the infamous Keith. He deserves it, don’t you think?

 

 

We love you, Keith!!!

 

Hey Keith,

Dont make me pull my red teddy out of retirement.

 

Dave

[stitchnfool]

Did I do/say something wrong? Seriously loving the review.

 

Not at all...Mach has run off to the store so I'll explain...he prefers to be called just Mach as he says, "the host thing is just a title". ;)

[SMSACE6]

Not at all...Mach has run off to the store so I'll explain...he prefers to be called just Mach as he says, "the host thing is just a title". ;)

 

Thanks for clearing that up! I will remember it for the future. You guys sure looked like you were having a blast! :)

[stitchnfool]

Thanks for clearing that up! I will remember it for the future. You guys sure looked like you were having a blast! :)

 

We sure did!!! :D

[waiting4acruise]

We sure did!!! :D

We all did.

I have a question. How many Crazies were able to stagger to the Past Guest Party after the Cocktail Party? I barely made it.