Have to cancel son's reservation b/o sports!

[golfb4cruzing]

Several decades ago, I cracked up my baseball coach's car delivering pizzas for a pizza drive we had to raise some money for new pitching machines. (I was a freshman):eek: Didn't make Varsity until my senior year even though I went on to play in the Minors. :mad: Depends on how bad he wants it.

[cruisin1982]

are both in sports. We as parnets give up everthing when their seasons are here.Your son needs to be with his team its a team sport it is not fair to his team mates that he takes a break while the rest of his team is working hard. Let your son decide what would you do if he is good enough to get a free ride to college but didn't because of a family trip.

Mike

[alligirl78]

Yes, let the teenager decide what his priorities are. My son's big thing is music and his performance schedule is way more important (to him) than any vacation. If baseball is the OP's son's passion, I'm betting that working hard and making that team means more to him than a single cruise over spring break. It would probably break his heart to have to give up the sport.

 

If the kid wants to advocate for himself and talk to the coach that's one thing; once a kid is in high school his parents really shouldn't be running interference anymore. IMO, of course.

 

I completely agree with you and would not step in UNLESS the decision 1) cost me thousands and 2) affected the whole family and not just the baseball player. I have two sons. Both of their opinions must be given weight in making family decisions. And Mom works HARD to do stuff like this. At bare minimum..( for me ) its a family decision and if one can't be reached, I get final say as the financier of ALL extracurricular activities...lol:cool:

[sailing_under_the_stars]

With a Senior son who has participated in HS Soccer all 4 years, and high school band the same 4 years, and a Freshman daughter who is also in the band... you just come to understand that during the season for the HS sport/band/whatever it is, comes first. We had 2 soccer games this past spring break and couldn't imagine not being at the games!!! Maybe the coach should have told the players that spring break is off limit, but also, if kids have been in rec or select sports, the parents know the time commitment. As far as just taking the kid because it is only his freshman year, well the coach WILL remember.. What if the same thing happens again as a Senior?? The coach will need to put people in that he can trust will be there!!!!... Just my 2 Cents!!!

[JenzyKY]

Why are these schools having school sponsored activities during spring break? It is supposed to be a break!

[gnocchi_mommy]

him on the cruise. As a parent you can explain to the coach what the priorities are - family - and if the coach doesn't agree then I wouldn't have my child on the team anyway.

 

Given the importance of keeping teeagers engaged in organized activities like sports, I would not suggest doing this. I'd find a friend for him to stay with and go without him before I suggested forcing him to leave the team. I have teenagers. I know this must be very hard- but really their needs take priority over family vacation every time. A cruise is just a week or 2, high school is 4 long yrs. Congrats to your son on making the team!!

[alys12]

I understand I'm the parent and need to make important decisions on behalf of my 14 year old, i also feel like responsibility plays a part here. he joined up to be part of a team and his team is relying on him (to a degree, he's no the all start of the team by any means). i take the brunt of the responsibility here because i guess i should have checked the "rules" prior to booking during the break, i know during football season with my older son he goes nowhere except to practice starting in August...so...hard lesson learned, thank goodness by sil will be staying with him for the week while we cruise!

[S.S.Oceanlover]

This isn't little league, it's high school sports. If you meddle, it will affect your son. Let him decide - cruise or baseball. It's time for mom to step back.

 

I have to schedule around my DS's schedule. I hate it, but thems the breaks.

 

This I have to agree with. Seems there would be more serious repercussions if he went and got cut.

 

Like making the team when he is a sophomore. Unfortunately is very political so if he already made the team I'd leave it alone.

 

Bill

[enjoyinglife]

A similar thing happened to family members who were joining us on a cruise several years ago except it was a she playing basketball as a freshman on the varsity team. The parents spoke to the coach who was firm - understandably - that it was her decision and therefore her who would live with the choices she made. They went and the vacation, loved it, got back home, and she sat out a few games and they thought it was unfair.

 

Fast forward to college years when she decides she doesnt want to play bb anymore, falls in love, gets married, and has a baby of her own. She has great memories of both that special vacation when all the members were together (which is extremely difficult now since there are more members who have major committments ie different work schedules) and playing sports.

 

She had both - the time with family on the cruise, anddsat out a few games and it wasn't the end of her sports career. But later in life, she realized sports wasn't what she wanted after all.

 

PS. The family did learn to plan when they took all future vacations so as to not be back in the same situation.

[gnocchi_mommy]

I respectfully disagree. Let my CHILD decide between a cruise or baseball? As the parent, I feel it is my job to make important (esp expensive) family decisions. And the main difference between little league and high school sports? Puberty and that's about it...Unless this team is this child's primary chance of a career or college, 20 yrs from now this team will be equally important as little league. It's time for mom to step back when mom isn't paying the bills anymore. THEMS my breaks...lol. But to each their own, in their own family..

 

When was he last time you had a kid in high school?? I am guessing you either never have or it was a while ago- because the last thing I'd EVER do was discourage mychild from being VERY actively involved in organized sports or fine arts at school- it was my son's active involvement in drama and band programs throughout high school that got him through unscathed - I saw what happened to many other kids who had no "identity" to cling to and no group oriented disciplines to focus on. I am sure not a better parent than many of their parents, I think the big difference was my kid had a place he HAD to be so many afternoons a week,that sucked up so many of his weekends, that had GPA and behavior rules attached- constructively, in healthy ways. It's not like "little league" because most 8 yr olds are not in danger of drifting away in an unsupervised waft of disinterest and apathy toward whatever makes them feel good. Sports give a GREAT alternative to that reality for many kids.

[golfb4cruzing]

Why do schools run 2 a days in the summer before school even starts?

[alligirl78]

When was he last time you had a kid in high school?? I am guessing you either never have or it was a while ago- because the last thing I'd EVER do was discourage mychild from being VERY actively involved in organized sports or fine arts at school- it was my son's active involvement in drama and band programs throughout high school that got him through unscathed - I saw what happened to many other kids who had no "identity" to cling to and no group oriented disciplines to focus on. I am sure not a better parent than many of their parents, I think the big difference was my kid had a place he HAD to be so many afternoons a week,that sucked up so many of his weekends, that had GPA and behavior rules attached- constructively, in healthy ways. It's not like "little league" because most 8 yr olds are not in danger of drifting away in an unsupervised waft of disinterest and apathy toward whatever makes them feel good. Sports give a GREAT alternative to that reality for many kids.

 

Wow! Seems to have struck a nerve. Sorry if I did. We have a healthy commitment to extracurricular activities ( at 32, I am the actor and ALL of us take karate together) but also a firm grasp on real life...where most families can't afford to blow a family vacation because of 3 practices and 1 game. Not worth it to myself and the other DS. BUT that's my fan. I said "to each their own". Sports and organizations like them ARE import. I think the OP has a happy medium with DS staying with SIL. I personally don't have a SIL, GM (my mother was killed by cancer when she was 50) or GP to step in. Just trying to balance life for our family...keeping everyone's best interest in mind...including Mom's and the budget's....

[Chigirlcruzin]

I understand I'm the parent and need to make important decisions on behalf of my 14 year old, i also feel like responsibility plays a part here. he joined up to be part of a team and his team is relying on him (to a degree, he's no the all start of the team by any means). i take the brunt of the responsibility here because i guess i should have checked the "rules" prior to booking during the break, i know during football season with my older son he goes nowhere except to practice starting in August...so...hard lesson learned, thank goodness by sil will be staying with him for the week while we cruise!

 

Great! Glad to hear at least part of your vacation is salvaged. I was going to ask if there was somebody he could stay with during the week so at least the rest of the family can go.

 

To those that said the parent needs to make that call, think about it for a minute. A cruise is 1 week. Baseball season will be the rest of the school year. While I believe in family memories and all that stuff, a LOT of HS memories are made in sports. To give up an entire season for a week-long cruise is tough. This kid could make life miserable for the rest of the school year lol! We all love cruising, but there are things more important. Fortunately, things are working out ok for this family.

 

OP, have a great cruise!

[alreadypacked]

Well, you do what you want, but coaches have a way getting their way in the end. We know, because our son is a high school baseball coach. Last March, we wanted to go on a spring break cruise. Our DD wanted to go and take her two girls, one of which plays HS softball. They all went on the cruise even tho our DGDs coach wanted her to stay for practice and scheduled spring break games. We had a great time on the cruise, but she had to do a lot of running and other stuff as punishment for missing spring break practice and games. She's probably lucky she didn't get cut altogether. This year, we purposely did not plan a spring break cruise.

 

Wow--I don't have kids, but I was a kid once and I participated in a sport. Maybe times have changed, but it seems a bit harsh to punish a kid for a decision their parents made to take them on vacation. I mean, when I was 13, 14, 15, 16 years old, my parents were in charge. If they said, we were taking a family vacation, we were taking a family vacation. End of story. A kid may not always have control over such things.

 

I don't understand these spring break games and practices either. I would think these coaches would want to be on vacation during spring break too (or at least off from work). Maybe, at 40, I am just old and behind the times.

[babyblue78]

These posts make me hope my kids that kids don't play sports. Pretty pathetic that they even have games during school breaks, should be family time. :(

[Litewait]

Your kid doesnt play in San Diego buy any chance at Madison High School?? Sounds like something our SOB of a varsity coach would say and do! Believe me, I have lived this nightmare for 3 years now. My son is a Junior. He goes as far as to control theri playing time if their hair isnt short enough! YES, HS BASEBALL COACHES ARE CRAZY!!. We havent done a spring break cruise in years because of the Lions Tournament and it is unacceptable to miss it. He missed a prepaid New Years cruise in 2009 because of a tournament at USD. I lost boocoo bucks..my son said flat out " if I dont show mom I will lose my starting position". It's also about recruiting and coaches recomendations. YOU DO NOT WANT TO PISS OF THE COACH!!! It is a sad, sad thing, but HS coaches are on a huge power trip and can control and do alot of damage for the college recuited player. Thank God we have travel coaches that can also back my son.. but HS.. It is a NIGHTMARE!!!:mad:

[ContingentSea]

:mad: My son is a freshman in HS and happily made the baseball team only to find out he would be CUT if he cruised with us during spring break next week. He would miss 3 games and practice daily...so unfair! plus I did not purchase insurance so lost $$!!

 

 

It all depends. Did he make varsity? Is he a starter on Varsity? If he is an intregal part of the team as a Fish, then he needs to be there...no questions asked. A weeks vacation does not replace 4 years of high school baseball, especially with a coach who has laid down the gauntlet. Bite the bullet and let him stay with family or friends, and go enjoy your cruise with the rest of the family.

 

If he made the freshman or JV team, he will get another chance to prove himself, despite the coach's warnings. Chances are that the baseball Coach will be replaced or move on in a year or two if he is worth his salt. High school coaches are inherently jealous of their students' vacation time...just because they have to work during Spring Break.

 

Your son will give you the best answer. Do NOT approach the Coach...Kiss of death for your son's chances down the road. Let your son have that conversation. Good luck!

 

JMHO

[waldocruiser1]

This isn't little league, it's high school sports. If you meddle, it will affect your son. Let him decide - cruise or baseball. It's time for mom to step back.

 

I have to schedule around my DS's schedule. I hate it, but thems the breaks.

 

That is a bunch of BS, he is a kid, and as a 9th grader you still need to help make the decisions, I would call and ask the athletic director at the school what the rules are about spring break, then if you don't like the rule, check with your state high school sports rules, most wont let you practice during spring break or Christmas break, they still do but are not suppose too.

 

Has he wanted to go on the cruise?

Did he know of it when school started?

Is he going to be a starter?

[Warm Breezes]

I learned when DS was in 7th grade not to book vacations during basketball season, even during the Thanksgiving Holiday. DS was penalized for missing a scrimmage and two practices by not being able to play one game and not starting for two more. He asked me not to schedule a vacation during the the soccer or basketball season anymore. I had no clue when I scheduled that cruise that it would cause problems during a holiday break and I made sure not to do it again until he quit basketball last year.

 

DD is a competitive dancer so I know with her not to book anything from February through June. She makes a commitment to her teams and they depend on her to be there for final practices and competitions.

 

When our kids make commitments to sport teams, those teams depend on our kids to be there for practices so they can learn to work together as a team and to especially be there for games and competitions. As parents, when we allow our kids to join a sports team, we need to help them honor that commitment to the team and if they can't keep that commitment then we need to help them accept the consequences, whether that means being cut by the team or sitting out some games.

 

The choice is yours whether he goes or not, but your son, and his team, need to live with the consequences of your decision.

[Warm Breezes]

These posts make me hope my kids that kids don't play sports. Pretty pathetic that they even have games during school breaks, should be family time. :(

Please don't hope that. Sports have so many benefits for these kids, that a little sacrifice and planning is well worth it. My kids are healthy, get excellant grades, are disciplined, and have great self-esteem. I credit their sports (soccer, basketball, and dance) for most of this. If them playing sports means I need to work a little harder at finding a time that works for all of us for vacations, then so be it. IMHO it's well worth it.

[Warm Breezes]

I understand I'm the parent and need to make important decisions on behalf of my 14 year old, i also feel like responsibility plays a part here. he joined up to be part of a team and his team is relying on him (to a degree, he's no the all start of the team by any means). i take the brunt of the responsibility here because i guess i should have checked the "rules" prior to booking during the break, i know during football season with my older son he goes nowhere except to practice starting in August...so...hard lesson learned, thank goodness by sil will be staying with him for the week while we cruise!

 

I think you made the right decision given the circumstances. Have fun on your cruise and I wish your son well with his baseball team.

[Liffey]

I keep typing and deleting all kinds of snarky things. Sorry - even if I didn't say them out loud. Other people have different values... and sometimes it's incredibly hard to fathom those values.

 

Suffice to say, I can't imagine letting sports interfere with family vacation. Sports? Playing games? Isn't that what you do for fun when time permits? But maybe the OP's son has a heretofore unnoticed talent that could lead to a eight-figure career (and plenty of cruises with the family).

 

Or maybe I teach too many freshmen boys who think a sports career is in the cards, boys whose parents only worry about grades because they interfere with sports... and me, I just wish we could kill off school-sponsored athletics and hire a few more math teachers. (The ones we have still can't figure out how to fit 45 kids into 35 desks.)

 

Yeah, bitter.

[K&P Luv2Cruise]

:mad: My son is a freshman in HS and happily made the baseball team only to find out he would be CUT if he cruised with us during spring break next week. He would miss 3 games and practice daily...so unfair! plus I did not purchase insurance so lost $$!!

 

Just my 2 cents...let DS choose what is most important to him. High School can be difficult at the best of times...no sense having the coach and fellow players annoyed that he cruised rather than played.

 

If you don't want to 'bite' the lost $$, do you have a DD or another DS travelling with you? Could one of them bring a friend, or is there another family member that would jump at the chance to go on vacation for a reduced cost to them and a reduced loss to you ?

 

Just a thought.

[Nemspy]

Is a place on a freshmen basketball team really that important that it warrants throwing away thousands of dollars on an aborted cruise? It's not like he's been selected for the LA Lakers or anything.

 

Personally, I'd try to broker some sort of deal that allows him to put in a bit of extra self-training and retain his spot in the team - perhaps as a bench player until he catches up and if the coaches or selectors or whoever won't accept that then tell them to sod off.

 

I don't really think it's a good example to set in terms of priorities to cancel all else for something as trivial as junior sport.

[krogers2063]

I have a daughter that plays HS Fastpitch for a 6A School and she plays competive traveling team and I would not set back and let the coach tell me that they would cut her if we took a trip during spring break. That is what spring break is all about. I would be on the phone to the Athletic Director:(

 

Good Luck to you