~*Was it something I said?- Please help!*~

[southern*belle]

All I wanted was for everyone to have fun. I love cruising and I love it with a passion. I know some of you can understand how I feel. But, I was utterly crushed the other day when I found out that my so called friends weren't signing up for my group cruise.

At first I thought it was me. "maybe the just don't like me, or maybe it was something I said?" But, I'm not a real extrovert, fun, not very loud, a great friend to have around, and I put a lot into all my relationships "friendship, marriage, whatever, I valued those around me.

I only wanted folks to come and have a great time on an awesome ship. The cruise isn't until 2006, to the Panama Canal and we are on a beautiful ship, so I'm not sure what I did or said? :confused:

 

But no one has come yet. I know that I'll go on the cruise by myself, if necessary with my immediately family, but I guess I was so passionate about my feeling for cruising that I shared it with people that just don't feel the same. Now, I'm feeling kinda sad :( on this beautiful Sunday morning. Not really understanding why everyone doesn't feel the same.

Thanks for listening, I guess I needed to get that out to whomever would listen. Please post your comments on what you think may have happened. I'd like to know because I don't feel that great right now.

p.s. :) I plan on going on this fab cruise and many more!!! Have a great day everyone. :D

[Heidi101]

Have you asked your friends why they do not wish to go on a cruise?

 

[herb]

Cruising is not everyone's cup of tea. The last thing you want to do is have them come along on a cruise because they feel they "owe it to you" to come along. They might just ruin a vacation that you've been really looking forward to. You've made the offer, those who rally want to go will go. The rest will hear about your wonderful trip when you return. :)

[herb]

Cruising is not everyone's cup of tea. The last thing you want to do is have them come along on a cruise because they feel they "owe it to you" to come along. They might just ruin a vacation that you've been really looking forward to. You've made the offer, those who really want to go will go. The rest will hear about your wonderful trip when you return. :)

[crystalgirl]

There really could be tons of reasons. The best way to find out is ask! There could be reasons such as: money, time off work, fear of travelling, not wanting to leave kids, wanting to take kids, etc. But the only way you will know for sure is to ask them.

 

I wouldn't call them your "so-called" friends. I obviously don't know you or your friends, but just because they can't/won't take a vacation with you doesn't mean that they aren't your friends. I really wouldn't take it that personally!

 

I tried to get a large group together for this June. I had it pictured in my mind to be a perfect vacation, where all of our friends and family would be there. Well, when I first proposed the idea, many were interested. But when it was time to actually book and put down deposits, most backed out. It ended up being mostly family. And you know what, that is fine! Sure, I would have loved to have some of my best friends vacationing with me, but I am not going to cut them out of my life because they can't/won't go!

 

Good luck, and have a great trip! And who knows, there is a lot of time before you go, maybe a few of them will change their minds!

 

Jeannette

[tigerlilycruiser12]

Southern Bell

 

I do not know the whole story about what happened. However, do not feel sad as sometimes friends are not who you think the are, Just go on the cruise and enjoy all that the cruise has to offer. YOu can have fun on your own and if they do not want to come or respond, again I do not know what happened, then you are better off. Sometimes things are not what they seem.

 

Have a good time and enjoy your cruise

 

marie:)

[ShowSkiMom]

Some people are apprehensive about comitting to something that is so far down the road and prefer to wait until the time gets closer to make sure that it will work with their schedule, financial situation, etc...

 

I wouldn't take it personally. They may have concerns that they aren't comfortable speaking to you about. Maybe they can't afford it or they're marriage is on the verge of collapse or they have health issues that they aren't ready to discuss yet. It could be a thousand things, none of which have anything to do with your friendship. It's not always all out you ya know :D

 

You'll go and you will have a fabulous time without the extra burden of trying to make sure your friends are also having a fabulous time. Those that decide to go...are going because they really want to and you won't have to worry about them.

[GoinCruisin]

Did you talk to and get commitments from your friends prior to booking a group cruise? What kind of response did you get from them prior to booking? Alot of people don't like to cruise, or couldn't cruise during the time you chose, or didn't feel they could afford it... could be anything!!!! But you should have definitely had firm answers from them prior to booking... and if they told you they would go and then changed their minds after you booked, I would be a little upset too...

[voyagerfl]

There really could be tons of reasons. The best way to find out is ask! There could be reasons such as: money, time off work, fear of travelling, not wanting to leave kids, wanting to take kids, etc. But the only way you will know for sure is to ask them.

I wouldn't call them your "so-called" friends. I obviously don't know you or your friends, but just because they can't/won't take a vacation with you doesn't mean that they aren't your friends. I really wouldn't take it that personally!

I tried to get a large group together for this June. I had it pictured in my mind to be a perfect vacation, where all of our friends and family would be there. Well, when I first proposed the idea, many were interested. But when it was time to actually book and put down deposits, most backed out. It ended up being mostly family. And you know what, that is fine! Sure, I would have loved to have some of my best friends vacationing with me, but I am not going to cut them out of my life because they can't/won't go!

Good luck, and have a great trip! And who knows, there is a lot of time before you go, maybe a few of them will change their minds!

Jeannette

 

I agree.......In 2000, I had 22 friends and family go on a cruise...it worked out great.

However, this year, I thought we might try it again. At first a lot of people were gonna go and even some even signed up. But interest or finances have changed and there are just 6 of us now out of the 18 I though might go. You can't take it personal.......

 

x

[southern*belle]

Thanks everyone for posting, I'm feeling better already. Yes, what makes it even harder is that I didn't think of the group until there were a lot of people interested. Friends = not real friends. I didn't think that there could have been so many excuses. But one of them said, that she's about to loose her job and can't go. (but a week ago was so gun-ho and looking forwarded) I didn't hear from her for a few days and then this. I'm praying that's not the case, and she's not just saying that to get out of going on the cruise. Karma comes back with a vengence sometimes and I wouldn't want that for her.

Just say you don't want to go from the beginning! :mad:

I guess, I'm too optimistic too, I've heard that before. I'm planning a wedding on this cruise and my closest family will be there and that's who I really care about. I just thought it was a good idea for everyone.

Thanks for all the comments, because I just thought it was me. I should have just kept it to myself.

[BlueHerons]

Having never been on a cruise before, I planned a group cruise in early May of last year for June 2005. Since I gave everyone 13 months to sign on, I thought we'd have a huge turnout.

 

My huge turnout is about 1/5 of the people who said they were on board (sorry) with the idea.

 

Believe it or not, the very last person to book a cabin was my mother and that was last week!

 

If your cruise is far enough out, block the rooms, give everyone the deposit information, have an early cutoff, and let them handle booking.

 

Hang in there, you may have a larger turnout than you thought!

[southern*belle]

Having never been on a cruise before, I planned a group cruise in early May of last year for June 2005. Since I gave everyone 13 months to sign on, I thought we'd have a huge turnout.

 

My huge turnout is about 1/5 of the people who said they were on board (sorry) with the idea.

 

Believe it or not, the very last person to book a cabin was my mother and that was last week!

 

If your cruise is far enough out, block the rooms, give everyone the deposit information, have an early cutoff, and let them handle booking.

 

Hang in there, you may have a larger turnout than you thought!

 

Thanks, BlueHerons~ I didn't think about it that way, at this point I'm just trying not to take it too personally, well more than I already have.

Thanks everyone! I'm sure I'll still have a great time!

[Randy & Carmen]

I have a huge group of local friends that rarely a few sail with me.......I think we had 12 total one time but most of my group cruises are huge groups from right here on CC.......I still do things all the time with my local friends but they don't have the cruise bug like I do and my OTHER cruise buds here on CC:eek: ......lol....I wouldn't worry at all.......just enjoy the nearly 130,000 members here that enjoy cruising and do other things with your local friends.:D

[S.S.Oceanlover]

Southern*Belle,

 

Don't take it personally. We once asked our friends of 10+ years to go on a cruise with us. They said they didn't like flying. So I said a cruise from NY you wouldn't have fly and we could go to Bermuda. I next heard that they couldn't cruise there because of the Bermuda triangle. :D

 

At that point I realized they didn't want to go. Just go on your cruise and enjoy yourselves with whomever decides to go. :) We are still close friends but have different interest for vacation.

 

Bill

[Maraprince]

Southern*Belle,

 

I've have the same reaction (rejection) from my friends. They are gung ho until it comes to placing a deposit. Then comes the hesitation -- the date, the cost, don't have enough vacation time, the itinerary, don't have right clothes, get sea sick, etc.:confused: :( :eek:

 

Go ahead and enjoy yourself. Without being tied into a group that you will feel responsible for (and if they don't have a good time you know you are the one responsible for talking them into taking the cruise in the first place!), you will be more open and "free" to meet other passengers on your cruise. Who knows, you may come to make new friends who will want to cruise with you in the future. If your friends don't want to go with you, it's their loss!:D

 

Maraprince

[toesockrock]

We had a similar problem a few weeks ago when booking our August 9th cruise on the Legend... Last year when we went on the Miracle, we went with a HUGE group, and this year, none of them are making any move to go with us.. I doubt your friends' reluctance to go has anything to do with you. Some people just automatically back out of things, once they have to make a commitment.

You'll enjoy yourself, with or without them. :)

[BambiRumsey]

southern belle:

 

Going out on a limb here, and in no way mean to offend, but maybe you are more upset about this since you plan to get married on the ship (if I am reading your post correctly - you said you were planning a wedding on the ship, I am assuming you meant your own!)

 

If cruising is something you enjoy, would you be as upset if it was not also going to be your wedding day? I know I was hurt when some of my family and friends could not make my small courthouse ceremony, but then I also had to remind myself that it was 2 o'clock on a work day and maybe people couldn't get the time off. Because of various circumstances my own parents were not even there. Did I miss having them there? Of course. Did it change the outcome of the day or how I feel about my husband or the beautiful memories I have of marrying him? NO WAY!

 

A cruise can be an expensive prospect, especially for someone who has never been and doesn't realize the VALUE they get for their money. Unless you are the personal accountant for all your friends, I would guess that you do not necessarily have an accurate idea of whether they can afford this trip. And, a lot of people may be trying to appear more well off than they are and may be embarassed to say they just can't afford it. Especially if they really do want to go and money is the only thing holding them back. They may very well be bummed out and sad too!

 

There are just so MANY reasons why your friends may not be able to go.....We have friends who wanted us to take a British Isles cruise with them for a great price on our favorite cruise line (Celebrity). We pulled the trip up on our online travel agent and were in the process of punching in our credit card number for the deposit when we realized this cruise the end of May would have us out of the country for our daughter's 6th birthday, something we were not prepared to do. As much as we love David and wanted to celebrate his May 31st birthday with him on this cruise, being home with our daughter on her birthday June 7th is a higher priority.

 

And let me also say this, cruising with friends is not always all that. About 8 years ago, my mom, my best friend and I shared a cabin on a girls cruise to have some fun and help me mend a broken heart. Candice and I have been friends since we were five years old so our bond runs very deep. I love her as a sister. We will never vacation together again. Just because you are close to someone does nnot necessarily mean you shuld vacation together!

 

Honestly, when I DO cruise with friends, they tend to be friends that we met on a previous cruise!

 

My point of this rambling post is: I'm sorry you are feeling left out and unloved but just try to remember a few things. Just because people cannot go on this vacation with you for whatever reason it is not an indication of how they feel about you as a friend or person. It is going to be your wedding day on this ship. Which is a HAPPY day regardless of if you have 300 people or just you, your spouse and the officiant. That day is about you and him - anyone else who can be there is GRAVY. Couple that with the fact that YOU are taking a vacation that YOU know you will enjoy and it's all good. If other people you love can be there with you consider it icing on the cake.

 

Enjoy your trip and congratulations!

[popcorngal]

Well said Jennifer! Don't feel bad southern*belle. I used to book and escort group travel, and almost ALWAYS, a trip that everyone was totally enthused about and enthused to go on became a hassle after I had actually booked the trip. It usually happened when the time actually came to put down a deposit. DH and I had thought our cruise coming up in 06 would be a great chance to get all of our extended families together. Many of them have never met and what better way than on a cruise?? Well, at this point, we have no one signed up, but have heard alot of excuses such as "I'm scared of water", "Hubby is afraid to fly", "I can't take the time off" and several others. Sure we are disappointed, and maybe someone will come through, but we love cruising, and will go with or without them. Just like you, we put the offer out there, and if no one goes, then go and have a wonderful time and a beautiful wedding day without them.:D We never really know what someone else's situation is...

[phlydude]

My wife and I wanted to get married in Miami on a ship and threw the idea out there to the entire family and all our friends. The only people who said they would go were my MIL and FIL. Everyone else either didn't reply or said no that they wouldn't or couldn't do it. As a result, we changed our plans, we married with the Clerk of the Peace and the original people who said they would go with us all along, couldn't make it due to other travel plans (when we applied for our license, we asked what dates were available and there was only one, they could have told us this before we paid them! Coincidentally, it was the day my in-laws were going on another vacation that we joined them on the next day). Looking back on it, we should have stuck with the original plan and not worried about hurting anyone's feelings since it was what we truly wanted to do.

 

Another issue I have is that my friends seem to be out of sync with where they want to vacation. I want to go to FL, they want the Jersey shore. I want a cruise, they want a Costa Maya resort. I just wind up doing my own thing and usually, we have someone who wants to go along with us. If not, I enjoy the time I get to spend away alone with my wife.

[hstrybuf]

Southern belle, I'm sorry you feel so badly. Circumstances change and maybe what sounded good to them when you first proposed the idea is no longer an option for one reason or another.

 

Many of my friends right here in the city have never cruised before and really aren't interested no matter how much I tell them about the fun experience that a cruise can be. The first time I jumped on a group cruise was right here at CC with the ladies from the Fashion Board. I hadn't met any of them except one in person. You know what? More than a half dozen of us have remained friends in the years since that cruise. Two of those friends I have cruised with twice and I'm looking into cruising with one of them for the third time.

 

Go enjoy your cruise and don't blame yourself. You tried! And check out the roll call for your sailing here on CC. I've met some wonderful people that way and very much enjoyed their company before, during and after our cruise.

[southern*belle]

Well, today is Monday and I'm over it! For our wedding, it will just be us. Me and my hubby, no one else, especially friends. (actually a vow renewal) They wouldn't have been invited anyway-I want a private ceremony.

My problem was that I was so gun-ho for myself and looking forward to a cruise that I just thought everyone would be just as happy. I found this to be my character flaw. Everyone didn't see it the way I did. Sometimes, I wish everyone could feel as wonderful about cruising as I do.......:rolleyes:

I know you all love cruising just as much as I do and that's why I'm here! Whooo Hoooo!:D

Thanks everyone!!

[BlueHerons]

Southernbell, for what it is worth, my sister called me this morning to get my TA's phone number so she could book and the TA just called to say two more cabins were booked this morning other than my sisters booking. Just today, three more cabins were booked.

 

Maybe it is because the cruise is only 90 days away? Who knows.

[ccletzgo]

Its most likely for the best. After telling a friend how much fun we have cruising, they decided to go with us on one. There family, and ours on a christmas cruise. After being home for a while it got back to us that our friend was telling people that it was not worth the money, and not very fun, and that they would never cruise again. I hate feeling responsible for peoples vacations........learned my lesson and wont get myself in that situation again.

 

Cruising is NOT for everybody. There is nothing worse then being on a ship for 7 days with somebody that is NOT having a good time.

 

Also, your cruise is really too far out for anyone to make a commitment, dont you think?

[Ruffster]

Well, today is Monday and I'm over it! For our wedding, it will just be us. Me and my hubby, no one else, especially friends. (actually a vow renewal) They wouldn't have been invited anyway-I want a private ceremony.

 

My problem was that I was so gun-ho for myself and looking forward to a cruise that I just thought everyone would be just as happy. I found this to be my character flaw. Everyone didn't see it the way I did. Sometimes, I wish everyone could feel as wonderful about cruising as I do.......:rolleyes:

 

I know you all love cruising just as much as I do and that's why I'm here! Whooo Hoooo!:D

 

Thanks everyone!!

 

I'm a little confused here and maybe you can help me understand. You wanted your friends to join you on this cruise where you will be renewing your vows, correct? You also mention that you wanted it to be a private ceremony so they wouldn't have been invited to the actual ceremony. Do your friends know this? That could be a reason why they would not want to go.

 

I'm not trying to be mean here. but you posted on this board, asking for opinions. So here it comes ... I think that you are hurt that your friends don't want to join you on the cruise and that you really would have liked to have them there at your renewal. You say they wouldn't have been invited, but I think you are lashing out with the old " that's o.k., I didn't want them there anyway" excuse. I know you got a lot of lame reasons as to why they couldn't cruise with you, but you don't know the real reasons why and your friends may be too embarrassed to tell you. You shouldn't be too quick to abandon your "so called friends" if they don't/can't cruise with you. If it really bothers you, then you need to stop playing the martyr and talk to them. You should be able to confide in a true friend that you are very disappointed because they are not joining you and that you would like an honest reason why. And if you do ask this, be prepared for an answer you may not like. I love my friends dearly, but I would never cruise with some of them again ( long story:eek: ). This doesn't mean I love them any less, it just means that we have different interests and we are free to pursue them. Remember that friendships like marriages don't just happen. They take work. They need to be tended and nurtured . Sometimes you will get angry and you will get hurt, but the positive returns that you get from a true friend should be worth it all in the end. Sorry, if I went Dr. Phil on you; but I do think you need some closure so you can look forward to renewing your vows on that fabulous cruise you'll be enjoying soon.:)

[cantw82cruise]

S.B. I find that everyone I talk to about going on a cruise and how much fun we have all say the same thing. Wow I sure would like to do that sometime. Then when we plan the next one only the same family we have cruised with 6 times steps up and goes. There is always some reason the rest can't go.

 

I also think because you choose a cruise that is longer then normal 7 days or less. Some people might think that is too long. They may only get a couple weeks of vacation and don't want to use it all seeing if they really like to cruise. It is also a lot more money because of it being longer.

 

Just some thoughts, have a great cruise John.