Is this safe? or Against policy?

[cruisenanny]

I was babysitting by 12 & I took the job very seriously. Would I leave my hypothetical 2yo with my 12yo son in charge? Depends on the temperment of the 2yo & the responsibility level of the 12yo. If both were good & the 12yo understood what to do in an emergency then absolutely YES. I would be checking in frequently tho, but that's just me..

[Crusin6]

where maude lives?

no, next door to Mr. Morton Williams

[Tbay-eh]

I know I will get flamed for this but I don't care - I think are getting far too protective of our kids and they will never learn responsibility. At 12, like many others, I babysat. I left our younger child with his sister at 12. It is not like they are 6 or 7. Do they not walk to school alone, go outside and play alone, go to a friends to play alone, etc. By that age they know the rules, dangers, situations etc - if not drilled into their heads by us, by school, by the media, by clubs. They cannot and never will be protected from everything - either here, next door, down the street, on the ship. I think we really do over think and over analyse everything and find danger lurking around every single corner - no wonder we have so many neurotic kids - they are what they see.

[MissDiva1]

I know I will get flamed for this but I don't care - I think are getting far too protective of our kids and they will never learn responsibility. At 12, like many others, I babysat. I left our younger child with his sister at 12. It is not like they are 6 or 7. Do they not walk to school alone, go outside and play alone, go to a friends to play alone, etc. By that age they know the rules, dangers, situations etc - if not drilled into their heads by us, by school, by the media, by clubs. They cannot and never will be protected from everything - either here, next door, down the street, on the ship. I think we really do over think and over analyse everything and find danger lurking around every single corner - no wonder we have so many neurotic kids - they are what they see.

 

No flames here.......It's pretty obvious........

[jerseyralph]

you were very lucky indeed that nothing happened...10 is too young and there is no denying that...again you were very lucky...if you tried that at home your kids could easily be taken from you...or at the very least you would have some explaining to do if anything happened....like the 10yo choked on food or fell...or simply forgot to watch the sibling....of course you may have an extremely mature 10yo..but I can tell you this...a parent in my town did leave a 10yo alone one morning at home and told him to study..then she went to work...well, the kid got pissed at having to study..called her at work and made a commotion....then continued to harass the mother and called 911....yep....CPS to the rescue..and several court dates later....child back at home....so, I am sure your 10 yo is mature..but still...

 

I wouldn't brag about what you did.

 

I am a social worker well-versed and expereinced in chald abuse and neglect laws across the USA. I promise you that child was NOT placed and that mother did NOT go to court because she left a ten year old home alone. The child may have had other tales to tell, but laws are such that you would have no first-hand knowledge of what happened UNLESS you are the parent in question. These types of cases, by law, are not reported to the press, ever. Gossip from neighbors and/or relatives are very often not even close to accurate.

 

Now hear the Howdy Doody song playing in your head:

 

Its parent bashing time..............

Now to all who wan tus all to cower in fear of stangers.......

 

I am the oldest of five. I babysat from the age of ten. When I was twelve I spent an entire summer sitting for a divorced mother's FIVE kids. Did stangers come to the door to harm anyone? No. My uncle, the child molester, was busy having his way with my six year old sister while she was visiting her cousins at his home.

 

Stop scaring people about strangers. There are wonderful people that we have never met, all around us and their are likely rotten to the core relatives in places you might never suspect.

 

 

Child Molester Statistics

The following statistics were taken from the U. S. Department of Justice Bureau of

Justice Statistics.

Characteristics of Offenders Who Commit Violent Crimes Against Children

The following statistics were taken from the U.S. Department of Justice Bureau of Justice Statistics'

Survey of Inmates of State Correctional Facilities concerning the characteristics of offenders who

commit violent crimes against children. They include the following:

* More than three-fourths of violent crimes against children occurred either in the offender's home

or the victim's place of residence.

* Three out of four children who were victimized were female.

* One-third of the covicted offenders had committed a crime against their own child.

* About half of the convicted offenders had a relationship with the child, either through friends or

family.

* Only one out of seven inmates reported that their child victim was a stranger.

* Four out of ten child victims suffered forcible rape or another injury from child molesters.

[newcatintown]

I know I will get flamed for this but I don't care - I think are getting far too protective of our kids and they will never learn responsibility. At 12, like many others, I babysat. I left our younger child with his sister at 12. It is not like they are 6 or 7. Do they not walk to school alone, go outside and play alone, go to a friends to play alone, etc. By that age they know the rules, dangers, situations etc - if not drilled into their heads by us, by school, by the media, by clubs. They cannot and never will be protected from everything - either here, next door, down the street, on the ship. I think we really do over think and over analyse everything and find danger lurking around every single corner - no wonder we have so many neurotic kids - they are what they see.

 

Thanks for saying what I've been thinking. I just couldn't come up with the words without sounding snarky :eek:

[silverado44]

it's just heartbreaking watching news stories constantly where people don't think tragedy will strike. yes, we all think nothing can happen, but it does. just look at the statistics.

 

The sky is falling, the sky is falling.

[gone_cruisin]

I know I will get flamed for this but I don't care - I think are getting far too protective of our kids and they will never learn responsibility. At 12, like many others, I babysat. I left our younger child with his sister at 12. It is not like they are 6 or 7. Do they not walk to school alone, go outside and play alone, go to a friends to play alone, etc. By that age they know the rules, dangers, situations etc - if not drilled into their heads by us, by school, by the media, by clubs. They cannot and never will be protected from everything - either here, next door, down the street, on the ship. I think we really do over think and over analyse everything and find danger lurking around every single corner - no wonder we have so many neurotic kids - they are what they see.

 

 

No flames! I completely agree.

 

I have found some of what you say to be true with my own children.

 

Without even knowing I was doing this to my kids - everyday from K-9 grade I drove the kids to school. My schedule permitted me the flexibility to pick up and drop all the time. As the children got older, I was able to adjust my schedule to better days off (weekends, instead of weekdays) but that meant them having to be more reponsible for themselves. This last year as 10th graders, I expected them to walk to and from school on their own if I was not available. They freaked! Not because of the fact that they had to walk, but because they honestly did not know the directions home.

 

We're coddlying our kids too much - and it needs to stop!

[bythehex]

I think people are really naive if they think cruise ships are totally safe environments. They're not. Do a Google search for cruise ship crimes if you don't believe me. How many news stories show the neighbors of some criminal, saying "Gee, he's lived next door to me all his life, he seemed like such a nice guy"? Those nice guys may take cruises, too.

 

It doesn't impress me to hear grown adults wax poetic about how they babysat when they were a 10 year old. When I was a kid women used to feel safe leaving their babies in carriages outside of stores while they were inside shopping. Times have changed! It doesn't make use neurotic wimps if we're more careful than we were in the past. There are a lot more things to be afraid of today than when many of us were kids.

 

If those parents feel secure leaving their 12 year old alone in a cruise ship cabin in charge of their 2 year old, then that's their decision. I hope those children will be safe and secure, but personally I wouldn't do it if they were my kids or grandkids, nor would I condone it. Just my opinion.

[Havingfun2010]

American Red Cross, and other organizations offer babysitting classes for kids beginning at age 11. By the time a kid is 12, they can follow directions, not answer doors, and can dial a phone in the event of an ermergency. Accidents happen with parents readily available, as well as accidents happen while under the care of professional care givers. But that is not the norm, and most unlikely. Some real questions must be answered by the parent, such as did the 12 year old watch the sibling before? Has he/she been taught, and practiced what to do in case of an unlikely event? The parent should know the level of maturity, and whether the kid can handle it for 1 - 2 hours. However, I would make the balcony off limits and would check up on them often.

 

Walkie Talkies do not always work well on a ship. Too much metal.

[bplazo]

No, I would not leave a 12 year old in a room to watch a 2 year old and I would not even leave a 12 year old in the by her/him self.

[skylock]

because I will be attempting to put together a family reunion cruise (in a few years)with close to 61 family members. At present time my immediate family is 61 people ranging in age 6 mths to 64. This includes my siblings, spouses, children, childrens children and even childrens childrens children.

I could really care less what people do or don't do with their children unless it directly effects me. As I am not one of those whistle blowers that call the police over dumb stuff,

 

I am merely looking for thoughts on this mainly because the kids were left alone in a BALCONY stateroom. As I know most of my family would prefer balconies.

 

Now I am really confused by your first post.

 

I know I will get flamed for this but I don't care - I think are getting far too protective of our kids and they will never learn responsibility. At 12, like many others, I babysat. I left our younger child with his sister at 12. It is not like they are 6 or 7. Do they not walk to school alone, go outside and play alone, go to a friends to play alone, etc. By that age they know the rules, dangers, situations etc - if not drilled into their heads by us, by school, by the media, by clubs. They cannot and never will be protected from everything - either here, next door, down the street, on the ship. I think we really do over think and over analyse everything and find danger lurking around every single corner - no wonder we have so many neurotic kids - they are what they see.

 

No kidding. Like the woman who posted about her I think 10 yr old being put out of camp carnival at 10pm. The only thing the child knew to do was sit on the steps and cry.

 

I think people are really naive if they think cruise ships are totally safe environments. They're not. Do a Google search for cruise ship crimes if you don't believe me. How many news stories show the neighbors of some criminal, saying "Gee, he's lived next door to me all his life, he seemed like such a nice guy"? Those nice guys may take cruises, too.

 

It doesn't impress me to hear grown adults wax poetic about how they babysat when they were a 10 year old. When I was a kid women used to feel safe leaving their babies in carriages outside of stores while they were inside shopping. Times have changed! It doesn't make use neurotic wimps if we're more careful than we were in the past. There are a lot more things to be afraid of today than when many of us were kids.

 

If those parents feel secure leaving their 12 year old alone in a cruise ship cabin in charge of their 2 year old, then that's their decision. I hope those children will be safe and secure, but personally I wouldn't do it if they were my kids or grandkids, nor would I condone it. Just my opinion.

 

There is no more to be afraid of now than there was then. You just did not get a chance to hear about it back then.

 

I was talking to a group of 10 women one day at work. 8 out of the 10 had been molested in some way while growing up. All by people in their families or people they knew. I was shocked. I was never molested in any way and had no idea it was so common. It ranged from the man at the corner store exposing himself to a cousin kissing and touching one of the women while the rest of the family was in the next room.

 

So that meant 3 out of 11 women had not been molested in that group. We came from all walks of life and from many areas of the country. I have concluded your biggest danger is at home.

 

 

I was watching a couple of shows on the people trying to get into England illegally last night. It is unbelievable. Our border problems are nothing in comparason. A lot of the people that were stopped along the way were in their early teens. It made me think of threads like this. There were 12 and 14 yr olds that had traveled thousands of miles alone without any money or food, not speaking the language of where they were, climbing under trucks to catch a ride on the axle, or trying to get into the backs of trucks that stopped at red lights, being beat by police, eating what they could find and we have people on here that will not allow a 15 yr old to walk back to their cabin.

[Crusin6]

I am a social worker well-versed and expereinced in chald abuse and neglect laws across the USA. I promise you that child was NOT placed and that mother did NOT go to court because she left a ten year old home alone. The child may have had other tales to tell, but laws are such that you would have no first-hand knowledge of what happened UNLESS you are the parent in question. These types of cases, by law, are not reported to the press, ever. Gossip from neighbors and/or relatives are very often not even close to accurate.

 

Now hear the Howdy Doody song playing in your head:

 

Its parent bashing time..............

Now to all who wan tus all to cower in fear of stangers.......

 

I am the oldest of five. I babysat from the age of ten. When I was twelve I spent an entire summer sitting for a divorced mother's FIVE kids. Did stangers come to the door to harm anyone? No. My uncle, the child molester, was busy having his way with my six year old sister while she was visiting her cousins at his home.

 

Stop scaring people about strangers. There are wonderful people that we have never met, all around us and their are likely rotten to the core relatives in places you might never suspect.

 

 

Child Molester Statistics

The following statistics were taken from the U. S. Department of Justice Bureau of

Justice Statistics.

Characteristics of Offenders Who Commit Violent Crimes Against Children

The following statistics were taken from the U.S. Department of Justice Bureau of Justice Statistics'

Survey of Inmates of State Correctional Facilities concerning the characteristics of offenders who

commit violent crimes against children. They include the following:

* More than three-fourths of violent crimes against children occurred either in the offender's home

or the victim's place of residence.

* Three out of four children who were victimized were female.

* One-third of the covicted offenders had committed a crime against their own child.

* About half of the convicted offenders had a relationship with the child, either through friends or

family.

* Only one out of seven inmates reported that their child victim was a stranger.

* Four out of ten child victims suffered forcible rape or another injury from child molesters.

no..it did go to court..dismissed of course..but the kid was removed...it is all documented..front page news here...personally, I think it was a bit overblown..but it did happen and took her about a month to clear it all up...big front page report when the case was finally dismissed.....but the social workers were there and it did happen..and yes it was an overreaction....But please look at the post where the parent claims to leave the 10yo watching the 4yo...that is insane......and those that defend it just want to fight and refuse to see the insanity of it.

[jerseyralph]

no..it did go to court..dismissed of course..but the kid was removed...it is all documented..front page news here...personally, I think it was a bit overblown..but it did happen and took her about a month to clear it all up...big front page report when the case was finally dismissed.....but the social workers were there and it did happen..and yes it was an overreaction....But please look at the post where the parent claims to leave the 10yo watching the 4yo...that is insane......and those that defend it just want to fight and refuse to see the insanity of it.

Cruisin6,

 

I appreciate your concern, but what you are reporting could not possibly be true. There has to be more to the story. The only person in the USA that might be legally allowed to speak to the press about a child neglect case is the parent, unless parental rights have been terminated. No one else has the legal ability to do so. Also.... this would be a family court case, not a criminal court case and it would NOT be reported publically. You must be missing part of the story or you only know the parent's view.

 

Family court is not at all what you see on TV.

 

And along those lines.....I was watching my younger siblings at age ten for brief periods of time. You cannot generalize over this issue and you cannot call people insane when you no nothing about them.

Be well

[Canadian_J]

Oh my goodness there are four pages of this?! Jesus Mary and Joseph if it weren't outlawed, I'd need a smoke right about now!! Quite easily the most depressing thread I've seen!

 

Relax folks :cool:

[itchin2cruz]

Skylock, I agree with your last post 100%. I think it happened just as much "back then" as it does now. We just have more media outlets to make it common knowledge now!

[newcatintown]

I think people are really naive if they think cruise ships are totally safe environments. They're not. Do a Google search for cruise ship crimes if you don't believe me. How many news stories show the neighbors of some criminal, saying "Gee, he's lived next door to me all his life, he seemed like such a nice guy"? Those nice guys may take cruises, too.

 

It doesn't impress me to hear grown adults wax poetic about how they babysat when they were a 10 year old. When I was a kid women used to feel safe leaving their babies in carriages outside of stores while they were inside shopping. Times have changed! It doesn't make use neurotic wimps if we're more careful than we were in the past. There are a lot more things to be afraid of today than when many of us were kids.

 

If those parents feel secure leaving their 12 year old alone in a cruise ship cabin in charge of their 2 year old, then that's their decision. I hope those children will be safe and secure, but personally I wouldn't do it if they were my kids or grandkids, nor would I condone it. Just my opinion.

 

 

No one is 'waxing poetic'. It just was, and it just is. Most 12 year olds can handle this with no problem. AND there are places where people still leave their little bundles outside of stores. Not where I live, but it is alive and well. It is not more dangerous now than before, we just get real time info giving the illusion of more danger. At some point in time these kids need to be given real responsibility to grow into responsible adults. You do it your way, I'll do it mine.

[silverfoxcruiser]

Oh my goodness there are four pages of this?! Jesus Mary and Joseph if it weren't outlawed, I'd need a smoke right about now!! Quite easily the most depressing thread I've seen!

 

Relax folks :cool:

This made me laugh so hard!! Not to hijack the thread -- but are you a Cradle Catholic?!:D I hear voices in my head saying the same thing, and I started babysitting at 10, for 2 siblings and 2 cousins. And, yes, I am partaking of a legal cigarette right now. Silver

[matj2000]

What policy?

Why is everyone so worried that there might be a rule/law/policy for about everything?

Can't anyone make a common sense decision about anything without an issue?

If you think a 12 year old can handle it, than whats the problem?

Seems like everyone is so beaten down by big brother telling them what to do..................

[newcatintown]

What policy?

 

Why is everyone so worried that there might be a rule/law/policy for about everything?

 

Can't anyone make a common sense decision about anything without an issue?

 

If you think a 12 year old can handle it, than whats the problem?

 

Seems like everyone is so beaten down by big brother telling them what to do..................

 

LOL... I'm not aware of any policy. Some good, down home common sense is all that is needed. Most 12 yo's are quite capable of this task. Helicopter parents don't help anything, allow the kids to show what they can do. Nothing builds confidence like 'doing' does.

[itchin2cruz]

LOL... I'm not aware of any policy. Some good, down home common sense is all that is needed. Most 12 yo's are quite capable of this task. Helicopter parents don't help anything, allow the kids to show what they can do. Nothing builds confidence like 'doing' does.

 

Helicopter Parents = LOVE IT! Never heard it put that way before and I completely agree :):)

[melli_fera]

I am a social worker well-versed and expereinced in chald abuse and neglect laws across the USA. I promise you that child was NOT placed and that mother did NOT go to court because she left a ten year old home alone. The child may have had other tales to tell, but laws are such that you would have no first-hand knowledge of what happened UNLESS you are the parent in question. These types of cases, by law, are not reported to the press, ever. Gossip from neighbors and/or relatives are very often not even close to accurate.

 

Now hear the Howdy Doody song playing in your head:

 

Its parent bashing time..............

Now to all who wan tus all to cower in fear of stangers.......

 

I am the oldest of five. I babysat from the age of ten. When I was twelve I spent an entire summer sitting for a divorced mother's FIVE kids. Did stangers come to the door to harm anyone? No. My uncle, the child molester, was busy having his way with my six year old sister while she was visiting her cousins at his home.

 

Stop scaring people about strangers. There are wonderful people that we have never met, all around us and their are likely rotten to the core relatives in places you might never suspect.

 

 

Child Molester Statistics

The following statistics were taken from the U. S. Department of Justice Bureau of

Justice Statistics.

Characteristics of Offenders Who Commit Violent Crimes Against Children

The following statistics were taken from the U.S. Department of Justice Bureau of Justice Statistics'

Survey of Inmates of State Correctional Facilities concerning the characteristics of offenders who

commit violent crimes against children. They include the following:

* More than three-fourths of violent crimes against children occurred either in the offender's home

or the victim's place of residence.

* Three out of four children who were victimized were female.

* One-third of the covicted offenders had committed a crime against their own child.

* About half of the convicted offenders had a relationship with the child, either through friends or

family.

* Only one out of seven inmates reported that their child victim was a stranger.

* Four out of ten child victims suffered forcible rape or another injury from child molesters.

 

THANK YOU!!! To tell someone they're lucky that something (that hasn't really been reported as happening on a cruise ship) didn't happen, is like saying, "Hey, you're lucky you didn't drop a knife on your foot today."

 

Could it happen? Yes. Does it happen often enough to keep me away from knives? No.

[BlueJacketsFan1]

My wife and I wouldn't think of doing it, but some parents simply think what can happen. We are on a ship in the middle of the ocean. At home, you know a little about your neighbors and the area. On a ship you don't know anything about any body. Criminals go on vacations too, you just don't know who they are. On our first cruise I over heard the couple acrossed the table from us (a table for 10). Talking and heard that he was a crack dealer who had been in prison before. Look at other websites and see how many rapes and other crimes happen on ships. If you move to a new neighborhood, and didn't know any body. Would you leave your kids alone. I know I wouldn't. But go on a cruise ship and people go, what could happen we are on a ship. Some parents just say this is my vacation and I'm going to have fun, but remember you are first a parent.

[newcatintown]

My wife and I wouldn't think of doing it, but some parents simply think what can happen. We are on a ship in the middle of the ocean. At home, you know a little about your neighbors and the area. On a ship you don't know anything about any body. Criminals go on vacations too, you just don't know who they are. On our first cruise I over heard the couple acrossed the table from us (a table for 10). Talking and heard that he was a crack dealer who had been in prison before. Look at other websites and see how many rapes and other crimes happen on ships. If you move to a new neighborhood, and didn't know any body. Would you leave your kids alone. I know I wouldn't. But go on a cruise ship and people go, what could happen we are on a ship. Some parents just say this is my vacation and I'm going to have fun, but remember you are first a parent.

 

Your logic is flawed. The kids are in a LOCKED room, no one would know they are alone without the parents broadcasting such. They are probably in more danger when out and about.

[itchin2cruz]

I live in a place where I leave my keys in my car at night and my doors unlocked. Are we crime free, no but the crimes here are usually between feuding family/friends/neighbors and not strangers. I have lived in cities, high crime cities so I know the dangers and I am careful with my children but don't go overboard. I think it's a personal decision each parent should make and there is no right or wrong decision. It is up the parent and the children and like a pp said, the maturity of the 12 year old and the temperment/personality of the 2 year old and whether the older sibling had babysat before etc. I let my 6 year old walk across our little rural street to our neighbors house, but he has to be home before dark. I can see him from my living room so I am constantly looking out the window to watch him playing in the neighbor's yard. I can still check up on him and watch him constantly but he gets a little freedom and learns how to follow rules by being home before dark and he knows the consequences. When my 17 year old was 6, there is no way I would have allowed him to cross the street by himself but we lived in a different neighborhood and he was no where near as mature as my 6 year old now. It depends on the child.