Parents, Please control your kids!!!!!

[4boys4mom]

Back again finishing a thought. What should we do just ignore the bad behavior... maybe but still maybe one of the parents of "those children" will ready these little conversations and say OMG that's my kids they're talking about (not specifically but generally) and make some changes that positively affect their childrens behavior. And if not we've had a good time venting and laughing at a truelly sad statement on the condition of the kids we're raising. Oops didn't mean to sound so preachy.

[DreadPirateRobert]

are most of the people who have loud and obnoctious kids and parents from san Juan???:confused:

 

I couldn't say for sure but if had to bet on it I'd say yes.

And before I get "flamed", I am well aware of the cultural differences in child raising. No cultural difference should allow a child's behavior to infringe upon another person.

[crazidude1400]

isn't the SHIPS SECURITY supposed to deal with this...if all of you really have a huge problem, well on the last day with the comment card state what all of you have said above

[L2J]

when people complain about kids being misbehaving on a cruise, it isn't your responsibility...the parents are responsible for the child...my next door neighboor can't control his child at all, and believe me he tries...

 

 

what do you do if kids misbehave in a mall or a restaurant or any public place?

 

 

Then if all else has failed needs to knock the s**t out of his kid. Period.

 

See above.

 

Tef I couldn't agree more. I only remember the names of about 3 of my teachers/professors. Funny, the one that I remember the most was my kindergarten teacher and I remember EXACTLY how she got my attention.

 

IMO all this touchie feelie has got to go and also IMO if you're not the parent of the child in question, then you need to be hands off when it comes to discipline. I know first hand how the "oh I don't believe in "physical dicipline"" goes and AGAIN IMO it doesn't work with most kids.

 

I'm sure I'm going to get flamed for this but I don't care....a child is like a puppy and they need to be trained and if that takes a little physical discipline....SO BE IT.

[twinkletoes4445]

It's all good twinkle. :D ..my apologies to you as well.

 

Thanks...I went to bed (last night) feeling terrible for some of the comments I made. Thanks for being understanding. :)

 

I needed some chocolate yesterday...okay, I needed a lot (and didn't have any). Have a good week!

 

I will say, I wish I was on a cruise ship right now.

[twinkletoes4445]

Not these days. Society dictates that we be nicey nicey. :rolleyes:

 

Yep, and things are a mess. I really pity school teachers.

 

I have told my children that if they don't make their kids behave (when they have them), I won't watch them! LOL

[L2J]

Yep, and things are a mess.

 

 

"That" is an understatement.

[twinkletoes4445]

"That" is an understatement.

 

I know. I can't even think of a word that really describes the situation.

[DreadPirateRobert]

liv, you hit it exactly. Raising kids is a lot like training pets. They both need boundaries, and consequences. Our kids were raised with strict boundaries, they knew our expectations and the consequences for misbehaving. Having said that I can count the number of times they were spanked. Both my wife and I were beaten as children and we vowed to break the cycle. We used "time-out" and putting them in corners. We've put them in corners in restaurants, and stores all over the country.

My kids were not perfect but we'd never have allowed them to ruin someone else's evening by misbehaving. Being on vacation is no excuse.

[peanutzmom]

hi-there are a couple of things wrong with various statements stated above...

when people complain about kids being misbehaving on a cruise, it isn't your responsibility...the parents are responsible for the child...my next door neighboor can't control his child at all, and believe me he tries...all of what you guys are saying is like making up rules for a perfect world, which this is not so go make some rules eslewhere....

 

No "perfect world" here. If the parent can't control the child, then the parent needs to *remove* the child so he/she isn't bothering anyone else. I'm mother of two (7-yr-old and 5 yr-old). My 5-yr-old daughter is a VERY strong willed child. I will admit there have been times in public where I couldn't control her behavior (she'd throw a temper tantrum, refuse to sit down, whatever) without physically restraining her. What I did as a RESPONSIBLE parent was remove her from the area. Why ruin everyone else's day because my daughter is out of control? After having to sit in the car for 20 minutes doing absolutely nothing while Daddy and Brother finished their dinner (or movie, or round of mini-golf), she remembers the importance of behaving in public, and we don't have any more episodes for a while. So no, I don't live in a perfect world. But I'm not going to subject innocent bystanders to my less-than-perfect world, either.

[ladycaveat]

Or at the very least allowing the teacher to remove the unruly child from the classroom. Nowadays, if they dare do something like that, they are met with lawsuits. Little Johnny/Janey can do whatever he/she wants, and get away with it. It's only when Little Johnny/Janie meets Mr. Law Enforcement, does it start to sink in that the little ones can't be pulled out of the fire by mommy or daddy.

 

How true, how true . . . and I have dozens of JDR (Juvenile and Domestic Relations) clients to prove it. Many little Johnnys and Janies do grow up to be just as out of control as teens as they were when they were toddlers. What I find interesting is the number of calls I get from the parents blaming everyone from peers to school to a legal system that is picking on their child. These cases are everything from CHINS (child in need of supervision . . . skipping school, staying out all night, etc.) to really serious offenses like Malicious Wounding, Robbery, Breaking and Entering and even worse. Yet so many of the parents place the blame everywhere but where it should fall . . . on them. Kids are a reflection of their parents and kids will push the envelope as far as they are allowed. It's funny, when I first started handling juvenile cases (and I still accept very few JDR cases), I wanted to either turn the child over my knee and spank them or take them home and adopt them. Without exception . . . what my juvenile clients need is love and attention for "good" behavior and/or discipline and sanctions for "bad" behavior.

[tef43]

isn't the SHIPS SECURITY supposed to deal with this

That's pretty funny. Didn't I see you on Last Comic Standing last year?

 

Ship security...doing their job....HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[Ltvscout]

From what I have just written I kinda sound like a real hard a**.:D Really I am not. I think kids should have a good time, but it is up to parents to decide which settings are to structured for kids. Often times parents think of their own wants and don't take the kids into consideration.

No, you sound like a responsible parent. Keep doing what you're doing, Micki!

[Disneycruiser#1]

Rant alert :(

HUGE rant!

 

Everyone is so dang worried about being PC children are running crazy, being put on medications when really they need rules, structure and a GOOD example to follow. If the parent does not set this example and correct their own child when they act like cavemen who will... the "Behavior police"????

 

These children disrupt class rooms, fight with other children and bully others and the parents act as if they are AFRAID of saying NO to their own children.

 

If you do not say NO now it is going to be a lot harder to reign them in when they are older! This behavior is going on with all age groups and needs to be addressed for those of us in every day life and on vacation.

 

Children ARE a lot like pets, they will push the boundaries as far as they can and I am shocked by my peers who let their children get away with this junk...hitting people, spitting, name calling, no manners, cutting in front of people, lack of supervision it is really, really bad not to mention dangerous to their own safety but to other children too...

 

Our sons (3 and 6) have been on 5 cruises and even more land/air vacations. They also have had to travel a lot and move a lot since my husband is an active duty Marine.

 

From the time they were little we have tried to be consistent, have schedules, bed times, rules, manners and guess what IT WORKS! They do what they are taught but you need to start early, have bed times, and make them say please and thank you, have them respect you, others and themselves. Give them confidence in themselves by setting an example.

 

I think a lot of it translates into how they are behaved at home and what they allowed to get away with. I see it with my own nieces, children in my neighborhood and elem. school and pre-school.... not to mention soccer and baseball games and every store and place I go.

 

I have little ones and I can not stand it when other children are allowed to get away with this junk. It makes me even more adament about making sure my children do not bother others or act crazy because as the other poster said if they do they are removed.

 

I blame the parents mostly and do not believe except in some cases the child can always be held at fault if they do not know better but who ever is reading this it is NEVER to late to start.....I do not buy into this theory "well we try or the child is not controllable" YES they are but it takes hard work, maybe even

a lot of crying and tantrums but it does work!

 

I wonder if many of these parents allow this because they are the ones who do not want to deal with a wailing child in time out.

 

My best friend recently told me while they were on a 2 week vacation in Maui her youngest who is 2.5 just went crazy in a restaurant. It was not the norm for this child and she was very upset and shocked but removed him (even though she was inconvenienced and did not get to eat) and took him out of there. She was upset afterward because she could tell it bothered others around them and she was embarrassed but she dealt with it quickly.

 

I really think it is a huge issue in our society today and these bad examples out there give all children a bad name. I am sorry to say it is very common and I can not blame folks who do not want a lot (or any) of children on their vacations. Because I have two young sons and I do not want to be surrounded by that type of behavior from others. My sons know if they act out they will be removed from the situation and not only have a long time out but lose privileges.

 

I have given plenty of time outs and they have lost many hours of TV, Video games and even outside play but it works. I have not had to remove my sons from a public place yet but if I had to do it I would do it in a heart beat.

 

My boys are not near perfect and if they were I would be scared but come on REMOVE the child from the situation if they can not behave, make them sit down at the table until everyone is done or get up with them and leave, do not let them run into servers with trays of hot food or the play on the elevators and stairs and knock everyone over........

 

I have voiced my opinion many; many times how much it worries me that parents are on cruises and give children run of the ship. Hello, this is a moving ship in deep water with a lot of people (possible rare rogue waves problems)......and not all good people. These children could fall over board, meet up with Chester the Molester and being on vacation should not give you the peace of mind to think your children are not at risk.

 

Also think of yourself in 20 years when you will be on a vacation sans children would you want someone to ruin your time off and money by allowing little Johnny to act crazy.

 

I also do not understand parents who think it is ok to assign a 10 year old to watch younger children and who the heck knows where the parents are but you will see them roaming the ship at all hours.................I actually agree this is a huge problem and not just on ships but in society. I have found myself many times watching other children in pools that I do not know because Mom or Dad are too busy.......

 

Sorry to preach and I can guaranty a parent (or more) will read this and be offended but if I can save one child from wandering around on a ship which is really a moving floating resort with tons of rooms and closets and water then my rant is worth it.

 

If I can wake one parent up to say "yes this could be my child and this is a problem" it is worth getting flamed. The problem is the parents do nothing and act offended if others point it out!

 

DC

[Ms Belvedere]

Hadn't thought of the wackos. Maybe the pursure could assign numbers for the shirts and other quests could identify the kids that way

One of the kids on the cruise would get the bright idea to swap shirts with other kids from different cabins. Then they'd all raise he!! using some other kids' number! LOL

 

I have to agree with whoever said the teachers have their hands full and don't have the authority to discipline anymore. Can you imagine spending your day teaching 20 - 30 "other people's kids" how to do everything from using a computer, to staying in line, using good manners, the three Rs, and keeping your sanity in the process?

 

Teachers earn every penny they make and deserve raises (and Adult Only cruises). ;)

[halos]

What I see most frequently is parents who can't say no when a child asks for things, parents who threaten punishment and NEVER follow through (by the time the kid is 3 he has the idiots figured out and probably laughs at them behind their back) and parents who genuinely are too tired to be doing their job of parenting because their careers come first...so in order to avoid a hassle, they let everything slide and give junior everything he wants.

THIS is the potion for disaster.

And sadly, like Disney pointed out, these kids all wind up on medicine because when they act up, their parents don't know how to deal with them, so the kids are labled as ADD or ADHD and drugged. (and I don't imply that there aren't kids who genuinely are ADHD...but I'll bet it's actually less than 20% of the kids that are medicated for it)

That isn't even touching the teens that are on depression meds now...can you believe it??? I can..it's because they get to be 18 and have never had to experience any disappointment because they are spoiled and shielded their entire lives...and when it comes time to go out into the real world, they can't deal with it...Gee...wonder how that happened?? :rolleyes:

 

What a freakin mess society is.

 

What I see now, because my girls are older (and they see it too) is that their peers...the ones who were given EVERYTHING they wanted, every time they asked, are the same teens that now treat their parents with total disrespect.

Sometimes I am shocked an appalled.

 

The good thing is that my girls can now see why we are not lenient...and why they get punished...on the first offense...there is no second chance in my house...and now, they come up to us and thank us.

You know you've done a heck of a job (and I wonder how sometimes) when your kid literally comes up to you and thanks you for punishing them.

It's a Hallmark moment they don't make a card for.

[mlantigua]

I by no means was making this a race issue, but, pointing out that there are many different mindsets and cultures on a ship, and understanding some of those cultures help you understand behaviors of both parents and child. other cultures have different standards. and one might not think that while on a ship in the carribbean it would be adopting western standards and cultures.

 

Just as by skin color alone I would not assume someone of caucasion look to be of U.S. culture.

 

True, but forgive me for feeling insulted when it was just the latin culture that was being mentioned. I must only presume that you are multicultural to be able to speak on our behalf, if not then maybe an opinion is better received from someone that has walked in our shoes and truly understands our culture. Please bare in mind that the U.S. culture is a multitude of various cultures, for I have yet to meet a U.S. citizen that does not have some ancestry other than caucasion, not by skin color but heritage. Speaking as one with much experience in the area, not only personally, but professionally as well. Discipline may range from culture to culture, but the end results is the same. Most parents want to raise well behaved young men/women that will be a well educated and productive adult. Our kids are the legacy we leave behind, no matter where we are from. Again, this is IMHO.:)

 

Thanx to MamaMick & halos for understanding my view point and not judging...

[tarps14]

mlantigua-absolutely, hands down, one of the most eloquent and well-versed "comebacks" I have ever read. You made your point absolutely beautifully. At no time, be it intended or unintended, should nationality, race or culture have been commented on (and for this I am certain I will be flamed). Children are world-wide and everyone most certainly has different ways of raising them. I am not a proponent of anyone spanking my child other than myself (okay, maybe Grandma). But that is a post for another board.

 

In case you are wondering, my children are quite well behaved. They are teenagers who I can say have not (well, recently) given me reason to leave a restuarant. This did not come easily, but with boundaries, rules and expectations. Have they always been perfect? Absolutely not, in fact they were caught playing the elevator games on an Alaska cruise and most assuredly paid the price by Mom and Dad.

 

To think that kids will always behave is like expecting the sun to shine everyday. It just isn't going to happen that way. As a responsible parent you do the best you can to teach you're child manners and right from wrong and take it day by day. I have in my day taken a child that was not mine to task (and on a cruise no less) for rude behaviour. And I have also had to apologise for their behaviour on occasion (albeit when they were much younger).

 

Okay, I will get off my soap box now. I have a cruise to plan!!!;)

[twinkletoes4445]

How true, how true . . . and I have dozens of JDR (Juvenile and Domestic Relations) clients to prove it. Many little Johnnys and Janies do grow up to be just as out of control as teens as they were when they were toddlers. What I find interesting is the number of calls I get from the parents blaming everyone from peers to school to a legal system that is picking on their child. These cases are everything from CHINS (child in need of supervision . . . skipping school, staying out all night, etc.) to really serious offenses like Malicious Wounding, Robbery, Breaking and Entering and even worse. Yet so many of the parents place the blame everywhere but where it should fall . . . on them. Kids are a reflection of their parents and kids will push the envelope as far as they are allowed. It's funny, when I first started handling juvenile cases (and I still accept very few JDR cases), I wanted to either turn the child over my knee and spank them or take them home and adopt them. Without exception . . . what my juvenile clients need is love and attention for "good" behavior and/or discipline and sanctions for "bad" behavior.

 

 

Wow, you must have lots of patience to have a job like that. It's sad...but so many times these kids could have ended up walking a different path in life had a parent pointed them in the right direction. Kids need boundaries, and they need to know there are consequences for their actions. I admire you for doing what you do. It has to be a tough job...but very rewarding.

[K.T.B.]

One of the best signs I have ever seen in a restaurant (Ed Debevic's in the Chicago area): NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR CHILDREN TRAMPLED IN THE AISLE!

 

:D

[twinkletoes4445]

One of the best signs I have ever seen in a restaurant (Ed Debevic's in the Chicago area): NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR CHILDREN TRAMPLED IN THE AISLE!

 

:D

 

LOL...That's a good one. :)

[OJulie67]

As a mother of 2 young girls, 2 and 6. I agree, and I'm sorry this happened to you!

Too many parents don't take their kids behavior serious. Even my 2 year old has ALOT of manners and when she is having an issue, (as any 2 year old will)we take her out of the situation so not to disturb others.

If only everyone would take the consideration of others into their daily lives.

I hope the rest of your cruise was good though.;)

[Are we there yet?]

 

 

 

In this day and age where people are so interested in being their childrens' friends, they have forgotten that they *need* to be their parents. Kids need guidance and to be led by example. They need to learn how to treat others, and know which situations call for extra special behavior (fancy places, weddings, etc.), to respect others, to have a sense of responsibility...

 

I've noticed that as the years go by, it seems that kids have a lot more of a sense of entitlement. Not good. It makes me wonder what things will be like in another 20 years :eek:

 

I totally agree. We were just talking about this the other day in our house (the sense of entitlement), it seems that kids have been given so much, they just expect more and more all the time. The future scares me sometimes!!

[DOHC]

I'm 23 going on my first curise August 7th to western caribbean on the valor. Kids can't be anymore worse then seeing young adults trashed out of their minds everynigt acting like a fool which what will happen to me a few of the nights! Being drunk loud etc... Another question here i've searched i'm trying to figure out how much spending money i should bright what do alcholic beverages cost just for domestic/import beer.

[mlantigua]

mlantigua-absolutely, hands down, one of the most eloquent and well-versed "comebacks" I have ever read. You made your point absolutely beautifully. At no time, be it intended or unintended, should nationality, race or culture have been commented on (and for this I am certain I will be flamed). Children are world-wide and everyone most certainly has different ways of raising them. I am not a proponent of anyone spanking my child other than myself (okay, maybe Grandma). But that is a post for another board.

 

In case you are wondering, my children are quite well behaved. They are teenagers who I can say have not (well, recently) given me reason to leave a restuarant. This did not come easily, but with boundaries, rules and expectations. Have they always been perfect? Absolutely not, in fact they were caught playing the elevator games on an Alaska cruise and most assuredly paid the price by Mom and Dad.

 

To think that kids will always behave is like expecting the sun to shine everyday. It just isn't going to happen that way. As a responsible parent you do the best you can to teach you're child manners and right from wrong and take it day by day. I have in my day taken a child that was not mine to task (and on a cruise no less) for rude behaviour. And I have also had to apologise for their behaviour on occasion (albeit when they were much younger).

 

Okay, I will get off my soap box now. I have a cruise to plan!!!;)

Thanx for understanding. Kids will be kids and we are the ones who have to know how and when to discipline our children. I can only say that as a mom I have instilled in my children what is and what is not appropriate behavior. There is a time and place for them to act in a certain fashion, and on a cruise, especially during dinner, would not be that place. I am very proud, as I am sure you are, that we have accomplished teaching our children this. Plan your cruise and have a great time. I am leaving in 2 days on the Triumph and can only hope that the parents will behave, as we know our kids will...