Parents who are thinking about letting their teens go on Excursions

[serene56]

Please think again. No matter how much they get mad or how much they hate you--please reconsider--KEEP THEM SAFE. I have read numerous postings from parents wantinginformation about the teen excursions that Carnival has.

 

I found a story on the AOL main board about a teen whose parents allowed her to go on a gradutaion trip with her class to Aruba. SHe is now missing. She is 18 years old.

 

http://www.recorder.ca/cp/World/050603/w060361A.html

[cali-croozer]

I've been following that too.......lots of unanswered questions. There were supposedly 40 "chapperones" on the trip but some of the teens were at Carlos and Charlies and that's where she went missing from. They didn't realize until the next morning when she didn't show up for the flight so I guess there wasn't a bed check! Terrible.

 

However, if the teens go on an excursion with Carnival's teen counselor, I don't think it will involve a trip to Carlos and Charlies. It would start and end on the ship, I would hope. Anyway, whether or not your teen goes on a shore trip with the teen counselor or your family, they need to be careful. I've also read posts where families will allow their older teens to have some "time to themselves" in the ports. Personally, we take excursions as a family, but still remind my boys of what to be aware of---things can happen in crowded shopping areas, or down the beach, even when you are with them. Everyone, just be CAREFUL!!!!

[sea_u_onboard]

One of my sons will be 18 on this next cruise. We told him that although he will be a legal adult that he is have an adult from our group with him when on shore. Too many things can happen and I would just be worried the entire time that he would miss the boat or worse. He agreed - after all, mom and dad are paying for the trip and he understands. He actually likes hanging out with us, so that is a plus. His dad volunteered to go to Carlos and Charlies with him - now isn't that nice :D .

[serene56]

I UNderstand about chaperones...but they are someone elses parent. Although they may be good parents no one is as good as me for my kids. I am sure that the families all heard that no one will be allowed to go off bythemseves. Now look at what someone has to deal with. Quite sad.

 

Cheryl- I hear you about letting adult children going off on their own. (my oldest was in the marines and jsut finished boot camp- it wasnt mandatory but a request that since we are in port--- its a family vacation. He too agreed.

[BlueHerons]

Everyone likes to think that their own teen is too responsible but I think this girl's disappearance proves that wrong. She is a National Honor and straight A student.

 

 

Would I let my 18 year old stepdaughter go away on a trip like that? No way. She has her entire life for that.

[halos]

I understand how upsetting this girl's disappearance is but because I realize that parents have to let go, I have to say that although my oldest daughter is going to be 20 next month and the youngest is 17, I will worry about them as long as I breathe, I will allow them to travel...well, let's face it....the oldest is an adult at this point so my 'allowances' are running short at this point anyway.

 

She went on a school trip to Costa Rica for nearly 3 weeks when she was 16...I'd allow her to do it again in a heartbeat.

Disappearances can happen right from your child's bedroom, right here in THIS country. My feeling is that although whenever my kids step out of the house...whether it be to get on a plane to fly back to school..or just out the door to get in the car and go to the mall...I worry, but then I have to just rely on faith a bit to get me through because you can't torture yourself with the what-ifs.

If you got by statistics...how many kids are killed in auto accidents every year...are you going to keep your children from driving??? To be honest, their being in cars scares me much more than any travel ever could.

 

My 20 year old plans on going to Cancun for spring break this coming year with friends. The only thing I told her was that in NO circumstances should she be wandering around alone.

I will worry that week, you bet your butt.

But would I stop her from going....no.

Being a parent stinks because from the minute they're born you are raising them to leave you...it's the hardest thing in the world to do but sometimes you just have to rely on faith because you can't smother them forever...even though it would be easier on your heart and mind if you do.

 

Before school ended this year, she called me on the phone from KY...thousnands of miles from home. She said,

"Oh, by the way...

(right then, I knew I was in trouble)

...did I tell you what I'm doing today??"

"no.."

"Well, did I ever tell you about my friend Will...he has a pilot's license??"

(AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! :eek: )

"Oh please tell me you're not getting in a plane with your friend?"

"Mom, don't worry, I'll be fine!!"

 

So, it seems that my daughter has some pretty wealthy friends at school who have pilot's licenses and their own freaking airplanes.

 

I told her to have a blast and call me when her feet were on the ground.

I prayed the rest of the day but knew that if I were her, I'd be getting in the plane too.

Life is meant to live.

[kdickers]

I COMPLETELY agree with you all . . . My DD's cheerleading squad goes to competitions every year and the fight I've had with everyone are the sleeping arrangements. So far . . . I guess you can say it's a "tradition" (money is a factor too) that 4 kids share a room. Well . . . MY child is required to stay with me and that's gotten us into a lot of trouble with the coaches.

 

My feeling is . . . as long as my DD is with me I know where she is and what she's doing. There's NO WAY that 2 coaches can keep up with about 20 kids (12-14 year olds) all evening/night long and . . . kids will be kids . . . they want to run from room to room all night long and if someones not right there watching/keeping up with them, one of those kids is gonna get into something they shouldn't!! So . . . if mine's with me then I'M responsible!!!!

 

Fortunately . . . my DD understands and accepts this . . . so far anyway she'd rather stay with me (where I can keep up with all her "stuff" too:rolleyes: ) so I've been luckly I guess but that's just the way it is!! Stay with me or don't go at all.

 

NO ONES going to keep you with your child like you (or your family) are!!!!!

[lynyrd]

Well said halos, I totally agree.

[kdickers]

Before school ended this year, she called me on the phone from KY...thousnands of miles from home.

 

Hey halos,

 

Where's your DD going to school?? UK??? I just graduated from there with my master's!!!!!!!!! :D

[halos]

Hey halos,

 

Where's your DD going to school?? UK??? I just graduated from there with my master's!!!!!!!!! :D

 

She goes to Centre...she loves it and I love it there as well. It's gorgeous in Danville. The school is small (about 1,000 kids) and it's like one big family.

[halos]

ooops

[kdickers]

She goes to Centre...she loves it and I love it there as well. It's gorgeous in Danville. The school is small (about 1,000 kids) and it's like one big family.

 

It is GORGEOUS in this part of the state (the other side too -which is where I grew up!!) glad she's enjoying her time in the great state of KY!!!!!

[medalian1]

Two men detained in Aruba missing-girl case

http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/americas/06/05/missing.teen/index.html

[elaineof6]

I prayed the rest of the day but knew that if I were her, I'd be getting in the plane too.

Life is meant to live.

 

I absolutely agree.

 

My children traveled in high school on band and chorus competitions. My 19-year-old did a service project in Brazil for her last Spring Break.

 

Maybe it's because we've lived overseas (military family) and seen how children travel freely in other countries, but I will not hold my children back from opportunities to travel, see the world, meet others from different backgrounds. I believe global understanding is very important.

 

This girl may be an honor student, but that doesn't mean she doesn't want to have a little fun:

Holloway -- from the affluent Birmingham, Alabama, suburb of Mountain Brook -- was last seen leaving a nightclub called Carlos 'n' Charlie's in Oranjestad.

 

Witnesses said she left in a car with three local young men between the ages of 18 and 25 at about 1:30 a.m. Monday.

 

Friends have said they have pictures of her dancing with young men at the club.

 

 

I feel so badly for this girl and her family. I can't imagine how terrified they must be. Still, as another poster said, this could have happened in her own hometown.

 

How truly sad.

[klfrodo]

I feel so sorry for the parents of this young lady, however, I have to agree with Halos on this one.

At some point you have to let your kids spread their wings.

This is one horrible incident but how many thousands have ended with good experiences? You can't stop the world from turning because of one bad incident.

[halos]

....next she says that after college she wants to join the Peace Corps......the only thing I have to keep me sane is faith.....there's a time you have to let go.

[burnsie]

We are sailing with a large group in Oct. I have two children (young adults) going. My son will is 20 will be 21 in Oct. my daughter is 16. All though it makes me uncomfortable my son and his friends will be taking an excursion to the ruins. I have stressed I thought it should be ship sponsored. My daughter will be stayig with us. Plan on shopping and going to Paradise Beach.

 

Even though it is a ship sponsored tour does not gaurantee his safety. I had a friend who lost her husband when he had a heart attack on a trip. I have explained to him this is another country they do not have the rules regulations and laws we have and he needs to use the good brains God gave him. He has traveled on his own with Boy Scouts (since he was 11) NJROTC, Senior trip to France and the most nerver racking of all was to Washington DC less than 30 days of after the bombing of the World Trade Center. In Washington he was in the Capitol building when they shut it down for Anthrax. He's probably safer traveling then he is at home. He's on guard and not as comfortable in his suroundings.

 

You at some point in your life have to trust them and yourselves that you did your job when you raised them.

 

I know how you feel Halos my son went sky diving for his 20th birthday! I said alot of prayer that day and he called when he he got back down to the ground and I will never forget the excitement in his voice.

 

Less than 120 days and counting

Burnise

[Randy & Carmen]

This is sad but what really bothers me is WHY her friends would allow her to go off with those guys....I know we were on the Triumph Cruise in San Juan, March 2004 and my younger sister was with a bunch of us.....She had met some locals and was dancing and partying with them, as we all were, at Senor Frogs....They seemed ok but when my sister said...."they want to take us (meaning her and another girl).....to another club......I stood up and said...."NO!".....end of conversation......So yes we all need to careful.

[JudyKa]

This is sad but what really bothers me is WHY her friends would allow her to go off with those guys....I know we were on the Triumph Cruise in San Juan, March 2004 and my younger sister was with a bunch of us.....She had met some locals and was dancing and partying with them, as we all were, at Senor Frogs....They seemed ok but when my sister said...."they want to take us (meaning her and another girl).....to another club......I stood up and said...."NO!".....end of conversation......So yes we all need to careful.

 

Good for you, Randy! High fives^!

[pholter]

Randy-

 

I was wondering the same thing.... How could her friends just watch her leave with 3 boys/men she'd never met before that night... I don't care how drunk I might be, I'd stop my friends from doing that no matter what age I might be or they might be...

 

It's still very sad and I'm hoping they will find her alive. If it was a kidnapping, they would have asked for a ransom by now though. Maybe she fell for a local and is hiding out??? That would be very good news....

 

You have to be just as cautious while traveling as you would be at home.

[Bsan1221]

Randy-

 

I was wondering the same thing.... How could her friends just watch her leave with 3 boys/men she'd never met before that night... I don't care how drunk I might be, I'd stop my friends from doing that no matter what age I might be or they might be...

 

You have to be just as cautious while traveling as you would be at home.

 

I in my twenties and everytime I go with my hubby cruising my mom still freaks out.

 

She tells me to be careful, not to be alone on the railing of the cruise ship at night as I might fall over or be thrown over by some crazy maniac.. LOL

 

I have to call her everytime I have an opportunity when I am in port and when I am on a plane after I land.

 

And from what I am reading here all parents are the same.. LOL..

 

I dont mind, I know she loves me and she worries. She says I wont understand until I have kids..

 

I dont understand how her "Friends" would let something like that happen. If I see something like that going on am the first one dragging her back to the group is suppose to be with. Additionally, I can only think that she was probably drugged with something that altered her ability to think... I can imagine just meeting someone and saying "Yeah, lets go party wherever you want"..

 

I do hope they find her alive for the sake of her parents and her "friends".

[MrsBoo]

It's not just teens that get into trouble or go missing. What about the lady in her late 30's that went missing from the Pride while at sea about 6 months ago. To my knowledge still no clues. I think we have a sense of security on board, but you never know where someone's last "bunk" was, like maybe state prison.

 

Have you ever peeked in the teen disco? No wonder those young men get the wrong idea (or who knows, maybe the right one) about girls. Combine that with the popularity/availability of date rape drugs...

[burnsie]

It never occured to me before reading this thread of letting a teenager go off on her own. The first time my daughter went to a pre teen club she was sat down and explained some facts. Including if she takes her eyes hands off her drink thats it she buys another. Never was she to get up and dance and then go back to a drink. She was always to have a friend with her at all times including going to the bath room.

 

Again I can't imagine letting her off on her own, my husband won't let me out of his site when in port! lol

burnsie

[halos]

I in my twenties and everytime I go with my hubby cruising my mom still freaks out.

 

 

Wait until you have kids... :eek: ..then she'll freak out over them too....and she'll freak out WORSE than how she freaks with you.

It's a parental curse....you become insane when you have kids. :D

There is no cure.

[pholter]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050605/ap_on_re_la_am_ca/aruba_missing_girl;_ylt=AjMtwxW6sOeydlZ_hXFXeKKs0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTA2MTQ3MTFjBHNlYwN0cw--

 

Here's the latest... They have discovered a bloody mattress that testing is being performed on at the moment...