Dining Room Ettiquette

[mfs2k]

Cruising is supposed to be a vacation, not a stress producing experience.

 

Now we have to worry what seat we're sitting at too?

 

Isn't there enough to stress about?

 

Maybe nobody should sit next to their spouses and we play musical chairs after the appetizer is plated.

[Jimmy Geegitz]

I would say first come first serve. We like YTD now so that pretty much eliminates that problem.

[DirtyDawg]

We have always rotated our seats at the table so that we could have different views every night. We've done this with tables of four as well as tables of 10. Our wait staff never had issues remembering who was who.

 

Yes, the wait staff on most cruise ships are pretty smart cookies. If the table wants to mix it up, go ahead, mix it up. The fabric of the Universe will not be torn asunder.

[misstopgun]

Did you say anything on night three?

 

It could have been rudeness on their part but more than likely just ignorance of the group dynamic that you had established on the first two nights. People can't read other people's minds. It would be great if we did, so many misunderstandings would be cleared up so quickly and easily. It sounds like you had established a good group in the first two nights. If it was me I would want the new couple to sit right in the middle of the group in order to join in the fun, not shuffled off to one side.

Of course I didn't say anything! That would have been rude. I also stated that it was not something I had ever though about previously and that I don't know that what they did was actually rude, it was just the perception.

 

What you would have done in the same situation has no bearing on my perception and the fact that it opened my eyes as to how though there is no rule or etiquitte, it could still be percieved, and it has made me aware so as not to offend others.

 

Why do some people feel they must one up somebody? This is a discussion board, not a "I'm right and you"re wrong, or You should have handled like I would." board. Geesh!

[Charxu]

As far as the original thread, I can't believe this is a serious question. Changing seats every night is certainly an option. Just get there early if you want a particular seat. Problem solved!

 

I actually wasn't the one who was upset at the table and couldn't care less where people sit but the fact that it was brought up by another passenger as a MDR etiquette issue made me question whether anyone else felt this way. That is why to me it was a serious question that aside from a few comments I think I got a fair answer for.

[WetToes]

I have a question, what about if you have kids, how does the seating generally work? Our dd is going to be 9 and has great manners, so do they seat families with families, or does it not matter?

 

I've never cruised with kids, but I do believe they would try to sit you with a similar family.

[cruisinbilly]

What you need to do is go to the dining room in the afternoon and put a flip-flop or towel on your seat of preference so it will be saved when you arrive for dinner. :) There you go. Problem solved.

 

Cheers!

 

GREAT!! Now I am going to have to write Carnival about having a sign posted in the dining room about saving chairs with personal items and that after 30 minutes these such items will be removed and held at the water station. Maybe i can just place the items on another chair and watch the reaction when they come looking for them. :D:D;)

[T. Advisor King]

After many cruises, this was one thing I had never thought about until my last cruise.

 

Of the ten sitting at our table, only 6 of us showed up the first two nights. We all got along famously.

 

On night three another couple showed up and took the seats we had occupied the first two nights sitting us futher away from the group we had become aquainted with. I remember thinking at the time that it was a bit rude of them to do so as they were not aquainted with anyone at the table to this point.

 

....

 

I've read your posting a couple times and I don't quite get it. I presume the first three couples occupied seats which I'll arbitrarily number 1 through 6, leaving seats 7-10 unoccupied. If you were sitting next to your partner, then you were either in one of the "end" pairs of seats (1 & 2 or 5 & 6) or you were the middle couple (seats 3 & 4).

 

When couple #4 arrived on night 3, what exactly happened? You said they sat in "your seats", but since they hadn't been there the previous nights, they wouldn't have known which seats were yours. If they arrived first, they wouldn't have even been able to ask (if it had occurred to them that you might consider a particular pair of seats to be "yours").

 

Regardless, I can't think of a seating scenario that would have resulted in you ending up "further away from the group". If they took 1&2, then you could have taken 7&8 and the group would be intact. Similarly, if they took 5&6, then you could have taken 9&10 and the group would still be intact (i.e., 9, 10, 1, 2, 3, 4). If you had been 3&4, then you could have taken either 9&10 (which would have left you next to the couple in 1&2) or 7&8 (which would have left you next to couple 5&6). In each of those scenarios, you still wind up as part of the "core" part of the original group of 6.

[T. Advisor King]

In traditional dining with a well trained staff that learns the passengers likes and dislikes, the waitor will set the table up with each passengers preferences: seat A will have ice tea waiting, seat b will have the glass of milk, a child's place will have the child sized utensils and sippy cup (we would bring with us and the staff kept them and cleaned them for the cruise duration, seat d will have the coffee cup and soy milk, etc. ...

 

If my life is ever so lacking in variety and spontenaity that a waiter can accurately predict what I'll want to order before I arrive, I'll consider that a very serious problem.

[stargate fan]

Maybe it has something to do with liking science fiction ;), but this is what we did on a past cruise when seated with 3 or 4 (not sure of the exact #) other couples that we did not know. We had a large round table in the middle of the dining room and moved one place clockwise each evening so we would all have a chance to admire the scenery.

 

And oddly through no more than sheer luck, one of the other women at the table was 3 months into a pregnancy...the same as I was! Sadly although we all got along at our table, we did not exchange addresses and become friendly outside the cruise.

 

Hey, we spin like the Chappa'ai!! ;)

 

We have exchanged info with tablemates from three of our past cruises. Only one couple ever emailed back and, four years later, we are still friends and communicate often.

[swedish weave]

i've read your posting a couple times and i don't quite get it. I presume the first three couples occupied seats which i'll arbitrarily number 1 through 6, leaving seats 7-10 unoccupied. If you were sitting next to your partner, then you were either in one of the "end" pairs of seats (1 & 2 or 5 & 6) or you were the middle couple (seats 3 & 4).

 

When couple #4 arrived on night 3, what exactly happened? You said they sat in "your seats", but since they hadn't been there the previous nights, they wouldn't have known which seats were yours. If they arrived first, they wouldn't have even been able to ask (if it had occurred to them that you might consider a particular pair of seats to be "yours").

 

Regardless, i can't think of a seating scenario that would have resulted in you ending up "further away from the group". If they took 1&2, then you could have taken 7&8 and the group would be intact. Similarly, if they took 5&6, then you could have taken 9&10 and the group would still be intact (i.e., 9, 10, 1, 2, 3, 4). If you had been 3&4, then you could have taken either 9&10 (which would have left you next to the couple in 1&2) or 7&8 (which would have left you next to couple 5&6). In each of those scenarios, you still wind up as part of the "core" part of the original group of 6.

 

Don't confuse me !!!!!!:D:D

[misstopgun]

I've read your posting a couple times and I don't quite get it. I presume the first three couples occupied seats which I'll arbitrarily number 1 through 6, leaving seats 7-10 unoccupied. If you were sitting next to your partner, then you were either in one of the "end" pairs of seats (1 & 2 or 5 & 6) or you were the middle couple (seats 3 & 4).

 

When couple #4 arrived on night 3, what exactly happened? You said they sat in "your seats", but since they hadn't been there the previous nights, they wouldn't have known which seats were yours. If they arrived first, they wouldn't have even been able to ask (if it had occurred to them that you might consider a particular pair of seats to be "yours").

 

Regardless, I can't think of a seating scenario that would have resulted in you ending up "further away from the group". If they took 1&2, then you could have taken 7&8 and the group would be intact. Similarly, if they took 5&6, then you could have taken 9&10 and the group would still be intact (i.e., 9, 10, 1, 2, 3, 4). If you had been 3&4, then you could have taken either 9&10 (which would have left you next to the couple in 1&2) or 7&8 (which would have left you next to couple 5&6). In each of those scenarios, you still wind up as part of the "core" part of the original group of 6.

Not sure I got all of that but maybe it would help to explain that it was a oblong table as opposed to a round or oval. Couple one with the male at the end of the table and his wife to his right. Couple two sat to the right of couple one. We sat on the left hand side of couple number one, so we were all pretty much all facing each other. The fourth couple that joined nights later took our positions which sat us further down the table on the left. This put us farther away from the group as in actuality, only one of us sat accross from the second person in couple number two's position making it more difficult to interact.

 

I don't know exactly when the fourth couple arrived as obviously I wasn't sitting in those seats or they wouldn't have.

 

All I know is due to my perception at the time, I know that in the future, I would ask whoever is sitting at the table if anyone was sitting there. If I was the first to arrive and had not been at the table for the first two nights, I will ask if there was a prefered seating order.

 

I didn't say my dinner was ruined. I didn't say I hated the new table mates. I was just saying that until this time I had never given it much though but would do so in the future.

[WetToes]

I've read your posting a couple times and I don't quite get it. I presume the first three couples occupied seats which I'll arbitrarily number 1 through 6, leaving seats 7-10 unoccupied. If you were sitting next to your partner, then you were either in one of the "end" pairs of seats (1 & 2 or 5 & 6) or you were the middle couple (seats 3 & 4).

 

When couple #4 arrived on night 3, what exactly happened? You said they sat in "your seats", but since they hadn't been there the previous nights, they wouldn't have known which seats were yours. If they arrived first, they wouldn't have even been able to ask (if it had occurred to them that you might consider a particular pair of seats to be "yours").

 

Regardless, I can't think of a seating scenario that would have resulted in you ending up "further away from the group". If they took 1&2, then you could have taken 7&8 and the group would be intact. Similarly, if they took 5&6, then you could have taken 9&10 and the group would still be intact (i.e., 9, 10, 1, 2, 3, 4). If you had been 3&4, then you could have taken either 9&10 (which would have left you next to the couple in 1&2) or 7&8 (which would have left you next to couple 5&6). In each of those scenarios, you still wind up as part of the "core" part of the original group of 6.

 

 

Anal much?

[kellyccz]

A cruise ship is not a formal dining room.

 

I would have to disagree with this. The MDR certainly is a formal dining room. The buffet definitely is not, but the MDR is. Even though some may choose to ignore the dress code and try to prove otherwise.

 

In regard to the original post and theme of the thread though, I thought back to my cruises and we always did sit in the same seat each time. I think it is human habit. No one ever tried to "take" seats though; everyone at the table automatically went to the same seats each night.

 

I commute to work on the train every day and it's the same way on there. People generally sit in the same seats every single day.

[Bookbug53]

Originally Posted by Tantra1

What you need to do is go to the dining room in the afternoon and put a flip-flop or towel on your seat of preference so it will be saved when you arrive for dinner. :) There you go. Problem solved.

 

Cheers!

 

That is the funniest line I have heard in a long time LOL!!! :D:D:D

 

 

Between this and the wife that is a former Celebrity a** I can barely read from laughing! :p

[Bookbug53]

I've read your posting a couple times and I don't quite get it. I presume the first three couples occupied seats which I'll arbitrarily number 1 through 6, leaving seats 7-10 unoccupied. If you were sitting next to your partner, then you were either in one of the "end" pairs of seats (1 & 2 or 5 & 6) or you were the middle couple (seats 3 & 4).

 

When couple #4 arrived on night 3, what exactly happened? You said they sat in "your seats", but since they hadn't been there the previous nights, they wouldn't have known which seats were yours. If they arrived first, they wouldn't have even been able to ask (if it had occurred to them that you might consider a particular pair of seats to be "yours").

 

Regardless, I can't think of a seating scenario that would have resulted in you ending up "further away from the group". If they took 1&2, then you could have taken 7&8 and the group would be intact. Similarly, if they took 5&6, then you could have taken 9&10 and the group would still be intact (i.e., 9, 10, 1, 2, 3, 4). If you had been 3&4, then you could have taken either 9&10 (which would have left you next to the couple in 1&2) or 7&8 (which would have left you next to couple 5&6). In each of those scenarios, you still wind up as part of the "core" part of the original group of 6.

 

Not sure I got all of that but maybe it would help to explain that it was a oblong table as opposed to a round or oval. Couple one with the male at the end of the table and his wife to his right. Couple two sat to the right of couple one. We sat on the left hand side of couple number one, so we were all pretty much all facing each other. The fourth couple that joined nights later took our positions which sat us further down the table on the left. This put us farther away from the group as in actuality, only one of us sat accross from the second person in couple number two's position making it more difficult to interact.

 

I don't know exactly when the fourth couple arrived as obviously I wasn't sitting in those seats or they wouldn't have.

 

All I know is due to my perception at the time, I know that in the future, I would ask whoever is sitting at the table if anyone was sitting there. If I was the first to arrive and had not been at the table for the first two nights, I will ask if there was a prefered seating order.

 

I didn't say my dinner was ruined. I didn't say I hated the new table mates. I was just saying that until this time I had never given it much though but would do so in the future.

 

I barely got through all this with the tears rolling down my face!!!! You guys need to start your own thread. :p:D:p:D

[Eriksgarden]

On your first point, isn't that extremely subjective? So, for example, if the table is near, but not immediately next to the window, wouldn't there be some who would consider the window a "view" and others who would think, "hmmm, we're about 20 feet away from it, the glass is kind of grimy and I can't really see anything"? I'm not sure how you would conclude whether or not that is a "view".

 

Secondly, say you have a table for eight and suppose there is a consenus that the window is, in fact, "a view". Do you sit all the women on one side and all the men on the other? I thought there was also a rule about boy-girl-boy-girl. And isn't there also a rule about not sitting next to your partner?

 

Again, I don't understand "view toward the dining room". How can you be "toward" the dining room if you're "in" the dining room? I'm also surprised that facing the door is considered a prime location, particularly if your table is, say, 15% of the way from the entrance to the opposite end of the room. But in any event, aren't you still ending up with all the women on one side and all the men on the other.

 

As for "lady", I have no issue, as long as you're consistent and make the point of using "gentleman" as the male equivalent. But "lady" is not the equivalent of "man". I do appreciate it is a common mistake.

 

No, not all ladies get the best seat. Only the oldest. After her, it doesn't matter where everyone else sits. Sure, some like boy-girl-boy-girl with partners not seated together, but there are so many LGBT couples. That messes up that scheme. The only exceptions I can think of to age getting the best seat is royalty, celebrity, or outrageous wealth. Those would trump age for the best seat. I'll Google Miss Manners and see what she says...

[Out to sea!]

Since we usually are the only group at our table, it is tradition for us to change each night for a different view each night. Our waiters figure it out the second night and have always made a game of guessing where we each will sit.

 

We always rotate clockwise 1 seat every night to give each person a different view of the dining room. Everyone stays in their same order, just rotate 1 chair clockwise each night. Lots of fun!

[Eriksgarden]

Gotta love Miss Manners! The oldest lady gets the best seat. Couples should not sit together. It is OK to put one's fingers in one's mouth to remove fish bones, but it is not OK to pick up meat or chicken bones with one's fingers.

[Out to sea!]

Gotta love Miss Manners! The oldest lady gets the best seat. Couples should not sit together. It is OK to put one's fingers in one's mouth to remove fish bones, but it is not OK to pick up meat or chicken bones with one's fingers.

 

Couples can't sit together? WTH????? She can bite me, I ALWAYS sit next to my wife!!!

[elliair]

We have changed seats a few times and boy oh boy does it knock the servers for a loop...I kinda don't want to do it, but hubby likes to change things up...3 times I have felt bad for the servers

 

This is why me and DH only dine together at a 2 person table. Too many people to deal with at a large table. Been there done that. Never got any looks from the servers, but got dirty looks from people sitting at our table. If I don't like the seat, I will change it.

[swedish weave]

Show me ONE LADY who will admit she is the oldest !!!!

[Sue Do-Over]

Actually, Miss Manners did have a rule about seating. "Ladies should be seated with a view of the dining room, so that they can see, and be seen."

 

Earlier poster had it right, in formal dining rooms, the oldest/grandest/hostess female was seated first, in the best seat. She never 'scoots over' to make room, and is offered the menu first.

 

My DH and I were seated at a long table for 8. One couple preferred to sit across from one another, another wanted to be side-by-side. Each night it was a game of musical chairs to fit the remaining 4 guests.

[Froufie]

Show me ONE LADY who will admit she is the oldest !!!!

 

I was wondering the same thing LOL - if the oldest woman is to be seated first and get the choice seat - there will be alot of standing going on. ha ha ha:D:D

 

I like the rotating seats - always get a big table so it's hard to chat 'across' the table to others so nice to get to know everyone - BUT also sometimes you switch seats to 'avoid' someone the Bill the Whiner - no one wanted to sit next to him so there was always a mad dash for seats :eek:;)

[Keel Haul]

Originally Posted by Tantra1

What you need to do is go to the dining room in the afternoon and put a flip-flop or towel on your seat of preference so it will be saved when you arrive for dinner. :) There you go. Problem solved.

 

Cheers!

 

 

 

 

Between this and the wife that is a former Celebrity a** I can barely read from laughing! :p

:)My Celebrity ass and I were on a cruise around the Canary Islands.We were seated at the table when the Maitre D seated a woman dressed as a Nun carrying a large statue of the Madonna (the religious one not the artist) she asked in Italian for the statue to be seated next to her.