Voyager to Baltic 6 - Coffee time, breakfast and lunch time, Signatures time

[Call me Ishmael]

As most know from attending concerts, the singer, virtuoso, orchestra or down-home garage band that has seemingly exhausted its energy as well as its repertoire, a little something is usually held in reserve for an encore. Often the encore is provided whether the audience seeks it or not. To avoid this issue I deem this not my encore; although I did imply that perhaps my opus had been completed, much like Jason and Freddy of movie repackaging fame, I cannot be put to rest quite so easily.

 

 

 

I had left a few clues along the way that there were topics yet to be dealt with. Happily (for me) I have thought of a few more.

 

 

 

The first is the issue of coffee and breakfast. I am of the belief that the phrase “gentlemen start your engines” means have a morning cup of joe (a curious term for those etymologically inclined), the stronger the better, before even contemplating anything else much less doing anything else. On the PG we were treated to delicious coffee, quickly delivered and enjoyed in civilized fashion on our balcony when weather permitted. As a consequence, the Voyager’s performance was a bit of a let down. The first morning, I dialed room service which is cleverly, if not entirely accurately, assigned the phone number 8-8-8-8. I requested coffee for two, assured them that was definitely all I needed and collapsed back awaiting momentary delivery of the galley’s version of a life preserver. And waited. And waited. Thirty minutes had gone by before the coffee arrived. As I say, not what we had experienced on the PG.

 

 

 

Some will say that I should have studied the in-cabin notebook (which is significantly longer than my report here) where the party of the first part (SS Voyager) advises the party of the second part (SS passenger) that breakfast ordered by phone will take up to 30 minutes for delivery. In fact, I did see this message and it may also appear on the “order breakfast doorhangers” that seem to have taken over every hotel here and abroad. The doorhanger naggingly appeared nightly on our bed along with chocolates, announcements, invitations, maps, flyers and schedules. Pity the poor late night revelers who stagger back to cabin and pass out upon reaching their beds!

 

 

 

Others will say if the doorhanger is there it is there for a reason and we should use it for our morning coffee. True, the doorhanger allows one to select coffee and a time span for delivery in fifteen minute intervals. Unfortunately, pity the messenger of coffee who arrives before my wife has awakened. In short, unless there is a necessity of setting the alarm, we don’t know what time we will want the coffee.

 

 

 

Finally, a few uninformed souls might point out the existence of the 24 hour coffee corner aboard the Voyager and suggest that I might get my own damn coffee there. Although I have no problem with self-service and found the coffee corner to be a fabulous place to meet “Joe” at various times during the day, morning visits are not an option. While I do not exactly resemble a nightmare on Elm Street, my morning appearance probably is close to Darth Vader unmasked: pasty white, red-eyed and hair askew. So I think it is too much to ask of my fellow passengers to face me in bathrobe traversing the entire length of the ship and four decks in each direction to satisfy the monkey on my back.

 

 

 

Happily, a request the next day to have the coffee delivered in less than 30 minutes was fulfilled. Succeeding days also brought coffee within a reasonable time, but oddly it was of inconsistent strength, somedays arriving in a very weakened condition. The presentation also varied: some deliverers left the tray and quickly exited (perhaps they too thought I would intone “come over to the dark side” and not be referring to coffee without cream), others cleared the table and left the tray, and at least one unfolded a white tablecloth, removed all items from the tray and set the table. Classy! Inconsistent!

 

 

 

We also used the “check the box and indicate the quantity” menus on two occasions. The service was very prompt and properly presented with the expanded table top set up, clothed and all food laid out. Logistically, it must be a nightmare to produce and wheel breakfasts out for hundreds of passengers all planning to be at the gangway at 8:00 am. Everything we ordered arrived as requested. Therefore, I will make allowances for some of the breakfast selections being less than hot. Pancakes, omelettes and fried eggs all have a plate life span shorter than a bowl of ice cream. You will do better to break your fast elsewhere if time permits.

 

 

 

Most days we surveyed the buffet in the Verandah. The room is well laid out with mirror images of entrance, seating, buffet, staff and omelette station on port and starboard sides. Often we arrived to find one side closed, but the remaining side open and readily able to accommodate us. It was reminiscent of the PG’s breakfast buffet and hotel buffets with its wide assortment of choices. The omelette station operated in a “place your order and we’ll deliver” method. The order taker asked “where are you sitting” but wanted some response other than “over by the window.” He did note one’s gender on his clipboard, but was not equipped to write detailed descriptions of person and dress. Most soon learned that the tables were identified by numbers discreetly written in metal. The order takers were always delighted to receive this information. For me the omelette station is the difference between a good buffet and a weak buffet. Steam table scrambled eggs (like fake crab I think they should be spelled with a k – ekks – which is much closer to my reaction of “ickk”) should be reserved for correctional institutions as a stick to reduce recidivism. Let ‘em eat broccoli too. Other cooked to order requests were also fulfilled including pancakes and toast (a duo that also deserve better treatment than on a steam table and happily were not seen there).

 

 

 

The one day we sampled breakfast in the Compass Rose did not encourage us to return. Despite only a handful of occupied tables, the pace of food delivery was “leisurely”. While one may linger at the table awaiting appetizers and dinner thanks to the availability of wine and breadsticks, the same does not hold true at breakfast unless the bloody mary, morning beer or other hair of the dog beckons. The people at the next table complained when their mocha latte with whipped cream and double decaf chai or some such arrived lukewarmish. Perhaps the kitchen nine decks above was the only one in operation. That is about the only reason I could dream up to explain the anesthetic-like service.

 

 

 

I also like to visit the main dining room for lunch at least once during a cruise. My wife tells me that I don’t need all that food, but I think the buffet is more of a problem for people who like to eat more than they should – not that I fall into that category. I merely like to visit the dining room at noon to meet new, interesting people who often don’t seem to appear at night, in a kind of reverse vampire mode. Many of them are one of a kind, like the gentleman on the PG who discussed in detail why he preferred what are politely referred to as clothing-free cruises. Granted that it would make packing a great deal easier – “Luggage to check? Uh, only this toothbrush and a case of SPF-45” – but I am unclear on the protocol for formal night. Something in the back of my head is saying “don’t go there.”

 

 

 

Unfortunately, the hectic pace and circumstances precluded lunch in the Compass Rose. Our schedule gave us the opportunity to eat lunch ashore in Germany, Copenhagen, St. Petersburg (twice), and Tallinn. Unless you are of the type (and I have been this way) to insist that since you have already paid for lunch onboard you must eat lunch onboard, I recommend that you grab a light lunch on some of your stops. The cuisine in the Baltic is different enough to be worth trying without being shockingly different (unless you want it to be). All of our ashore lunches were uniformly well received. The Russian lunches in particular were quite interesting: one day we were taken to a restaurant with hot and cold buffets with a wide variety of offerings all found to be tasty and of high quality; the second day was a more formal lunch with traditional food such as borscht and beef stroganoff which was liked by all. Decide that sampling the local cuisine is part of the cultural experience. Find a restaurant that isn’t serving Italian selections or fish and chips. That’s considered cheating. At the very least and worst, you could have tales to tell about the raw eel you ate when you weren’t even on Fear Factor.

 

 

 

Another reason for eating offboard (if there is such a word and why not if there is onboard?) is that the lunch buffet in the Verandah does not rise to the “don’t miss” category. The selection seemed to pale in comparison to what my memory conjured up from the Jan.’05 PG cruise. Of course, perhaps the boffo days were the very ones we missed. Somehow I doubt it. One day we ate on the pool deck and a long line backed up from the serving area. I felt this crowd must signal a lunch beyond my wildest dreams. Visions of fabulous concoctions briefly went through my brain until I rounded the corner. Tacos! Tacos? Perhaps in your hometown tacos are considered a rare, not to be missed delicacy. Here in So. Cal. tacos, dispensed at 2 for a buck, are roughly on a par with hot dogs. Fast, filling and often heartburn inducing. I opted for the steak sandwich which was not a better choice. The fries with it were excellent, but the meat was not. An earlier day’s grab of pizza from the pool deck also proved to be unwise. I have tasted custom made pizza from east coast, Chicago’s deep dish variety, west coast “designer” pizza (does Liz Claiborne have one?), chain pizza, frozen pizza, home-made pizza, leftover pizza and pizza in various parts of the world. The Voyager’s pizza didn’t rank in the top ten thousand. Another pizza eater also pronounced it to be “the first thing he’d had on the ship that wasn’t good.” When someone who prefers chain pizza says this, consider it akin to the captain’s announcement “this is not a drill.”

 

 

 

In fairness, I must give praise to room service for the afternoon snacks promptly delivered, delectable and definitely presented in the proper condition. My snacks, consisting of shrimp cocktail and pecan pie with ice cream, were properly iced, accompanied by sauce, not at all cloyingly sweet and firmly frozen, respectively – I leave it to your quick intelligence to figure which was which. And should you deem my menu selections to be bizarre (yes, I did eat them all in one sitting), I can only point to prior generations of Ishmaels living on the coastal regions of Dixie. If this does not satisfy your need for explanation, then “look away, look away …” A quick dinner ordered from room service also proved to a two thumbs up experience. If you plan to venture out at night in St.Pb. you will probably need to consult page 88 of the in-room notebook, unless you have selected an evening activity which includes dinner. I was asked if the Yusopov Gala Evening, which includes champagne and food, eliminated the necessity of dinner. The gala evening is delightful, the Yusopov Palace is eye-popping, and the caviar and champagne are definitely not in lieu of dinner. A sample was more than sufficient for most of the crowd to confirm that the promised caviar and champagne had been delivered. Disregard the fish eggs and beverage in the evening’s description from the decision making process. The remainder of the evening is of a higher caliber and worthwhile if you like that sort of thing (we did).

 

 

 

Finally, I must address the piece de resistance: Signatures. We ate there twice and found the experience to be all that we could ask for. Scallops, lobster, cassoulet of escargots, eggs with caviar cream, nutmeg roasted foie gras, crab soup, salmon fillet, Chilean sea bass, veal chop with avocado and Parma ham, beef tournedos Rossini, rack of lamb, and a quartet of desserts including crème brulee with strawberries tossed in balsamic vinegar (sounds awful but tastes quite delicious) and “Baba au vieux rhum.” I have seen the famed baba with rum on more than one menu, but not being able to identify the baba portion I have hesitated. The second ingredient I have known all too well. I know of ali baba and baba ganoush. I know of baba black sheep and sundry other babas (including one of my southern cousins, but I believe he spelled it differently). Of no consequence. The baba taster at our table deemed it excellent. A top priority upon boarding the ship is to find Maitre D’ Anna Van Eeden in her domain and make a reservation. Time slots fill up, days fill up and soon you will be left out.

 

One suggestion: do not rely on the rare, medium or well labels in specifying meat preparation. Like European clothing sizes, they do not equate with American specifications. Rather, specify the appearance the meat's interior and you will be rewarded and pleased.

 

 

 

If you can’t stand all that frenchified food (not frites), then you have other alternative dining options. The Verandah “is transformed into a Mediterranean experience in the evening.” It looked like the same Verandah to me, slightly gussied up with plates depicting Mediterranean scenes. If you really like them, you can find them in the boutique rather than trying to slip them down your shirt (hard on the dry-cleaners). In the evening, there is table service although the buffet has an assortment of antipasti which you may select on your own. The menu changed more than once during our cruise, perhaps nightly. The one night we ate there I had the best eggplant parmigiana I have ever had. Some will scoff, noting that eggplant is often considered one of God’s few mistakes. In fact, it is usually the cook who makes the mistake. Unlike broccoli, eggplant cooked properly is a treat not a punishment.

 

 

 

The other dining location, Latitudes, did not receive our business. I had read, I am sure, that the concept had been changed from Asian to “regional American cooking with a different region every night.” I was quite interested to see how this concept would be handled. What does a chef offer to represent New York City cuisine for example? Alas, the menu was fixedly Asian. Did I merely dream of this concept? The Asian offerings with the likes of egg rolls of two types and Vietnamese stew could not compete with the other venues. A few days longer on board and I might have been persuaded, but not under the circumstances of this cruise. I eagerly await a report from someone, anyone, who dines at Latitudes this summer. I could find no one. Perhaps they will give tokens (redeemable for logo gifts) to entice patrons into their doors.

 

 

 

Finally, let me quiet your concern that all this talk of food means I must be of sufficient girth to cause the ship to list when I roll from port to starboard. Not so. Like Cassius (the Roman, not the boxer) I have a lean and usually hungry look. Due to a genetic quirk, I do not take after my heftier relatives. I had been taught to clean my plate because there “were starving children in China.” I continue to unconsciously assume that I should get my fill because they will soon arrive. The most I will confess to is a frequent relief in the evening when my belt may be unbuckled. I have sansabelt slacks with the expandomatic waistband on my next cruise shopping list.

[PaulaJK]

Ishmael, I have thoroughly enjoyed parts all of your review.....and have found

your impressions quite consistent with ourown, formed on a Baltic Voyager cruise summer '04.

 

BTW...Latitudes went from regional American cuisine to pan Asian...actually just in time for our cruise. Its menu was unappealing to us and we also declined

the opportunity.

 

You've stirred my curiosity. Isn't the term 'Joe' related to no wine-but coffee in the officer's mess?

[nyfeds]

Another right-on review from you, CMI! Thanks, again, for taking the time to put your impressions and experiences on CC for us all to benefit from and enjoy!

 

We've never cared for the coffee served on any of the sailings we taken with RSSC. We've found it to be weak and tasteless. After about a day, we usually switch to tea. I don't understand why brewing decent coffee is such a challenge.

 

As to breakfast room service meals, we have found dining staff to be punctual in our delivery requests; however, the food is fair, at best, and most food, which should be delivered and eaten hot, delivered lukewarm. I am a stickler to food temps to be what they should be - HOT for hot foods, COLD for cold foods. We only order room service breakfast when absolutely necessary - when we have a very early excursion and need to fill our stomachs and run.

 

I agree with your comments pertaining to lunching at port, rather than onboard. Experiencing the local cuisine is a must for us, if even for just a quick lunch. Many, however, feel it imperative to lunch on the ship - it's all ready been bought and paid for!

 

Tacos for lunch? We live in So. CA. We can have our fill of tacos anytime we choose (which is not often!).

[lord of the seas]

Hi Ishmael, an excellent review.On the subject of Clothing-Free Cruises,the Bow Tie is worn on the sticking out bit just below the waistline on Formal nights.

John

[gopackgo]

Thanks for another well-written and very entertaining chapter! I am disappointed to read that the La Verandah lunch buffet was not all that great. We loved the lunch buffet on the Mariner last year.

 

We also loved our meal at Signatures last year and I am happy to see your excellent reviews of it here.

 

Ginny

[Call me Ishmael]

Paula,

 

I like that derivation but it seems to be regarded as implausible: " Cup of joe appears in the written record in 1930 but the order to ban alcohol—General Order 99—was issued on 1 June 1914. Another point the author makes is that wine mess halls were only for officers, not the common sailor,, so why would the common person be bothered enough to start a slang term.? This slang was (and is) used by everyone, not just a special group of people (the officers)." [answerbag and other websites.]

 

lord of the seas,

 

Good lord, man, my bow tie is of the clip-on variety!

 

Nfy and gopack,

 

Believe it or not, I have one (final) chapter coalescing.

 

Ish

[ElleninNY]

Latitudes on the Voyager is pan-Asian and was impossible to get into except for the last night of last week's cruise. They did not accept reservations and were booked solid by 8 PM every night. Finally, the last night, out of desperation, we ate at 7:30 and it was empty and remained nearly empty all night. Go figure! I enjoyed all the food (they give you everything that's on the menu--no choices) until we reached the entrees that didn't thrill me. I was also quite stuffed so that could have accounted for it.

By the way, the situation was the same at La Verandah at night. For some reason, everyone liked the specialty restaurants rather then Compass Rose.

[gf]

Eagerly waiting next chapter; so much fun to read all the details!

[Call me Ishmael]

Ellen,

 

Thanks for the report on Latitudes. I did not realize that they give you everything on the menu -- I looked at it several times but missed that piece of info if it is spelled out.

 

CMI

[Down Under]

I am not normally known for grovelling, but your reports were absolutely wonderful and kept me enthralled. Your sense of humour is fantastic. I've been thinking about doing a Baltic cruise next year and loved reading about the places you've been. Radisson should employ you as their travel writer and send you on all their cruises.

[Call me Ishmael]

Down,

 

That's the best idea I've heard in ages. Please drop them a line and get the bandwagon rolling.

 

Ish

 

PS You won't be sorry if you go to the Baltic.

[English Voyager]

Re Latitudes.

Part way through our April cruise it changed from reservations only to open seating.

For us it was the best restaurant on the Voyager.

With it's fixed menu,and open galley,one can see one's food being prepared to order.

During a cruise,certain individual items will be changed depending on the availability of ingredients.

Re Signatures.

Again during April,the menu was changed to what is effectively "The best of Signatures".

Prior to this change,we had had a rather mediocre meal.

After the change,it was,on both occasions,excellent.

[harbormaster]

Dear Ishmael: Reading your posts has become AHAB-it for us!

We have really enjoyed the "preview" into what to expect on our first Radisson cruise coming up in November. We've got them handy for reviewing.

How about becoming a cruise lecturer on how to write a cruise review - you could do it on our upcoming transatlantic with Radisson? It would certainly be one of the more intelligent lectures we've had on cruises.

Thanks again.

[nyfeds]

I certainly agree with the above statements! Your reviews are among the best I've read!

[Call me Ishmael]

Harbor,

 

A hit, a very palpable hit!

 

My wife usually suggests mid-cruise that I hire out as a pedant. Although your topic has a certain charm, I think it might be a bit dry for the average cruiser: "And here in slide 297 you see the nearly extinct semi-colon." On the other hand, I do have a fabulous speaking voice and could certainly do wonders for "B-9" and such.

 

Ish

[cactuslady]

Another reason for eating offboard (if there is such a word and why not if there is onboard?) . . . .

I have been researching your question, and it appears that there are a couple of hurdles to overcome before eating offboard becomes common. First, "onboard" is listed by Webster's as an adjective, as in "onboard computer." "Aboard" means "on board" and is the preposition used to signify where an event, such as dining, takes place. Second, there are already plenty of alternatives to aboard, including ashore, alongside, aloft, abaft, abeam, ahead, and overboard. Unless one has a floating restaurant handy or is of the piscatorial bent, ashore is probably the best alternative place to eat.

 

Thank you for your enjoyable and informative review. We are going on our first RSSC cruise in December, on Navigator, and I appreciate your writings.

[Call me Ishmael]

Cactus,

 

Thank you tackling that thorny issue. I must have been thinking of off-Broadway in my musings. I am prone to go overboard, although I attempt to avoid doing so during a cruise.

 

Call Me (piscatorially bent) Fishmeal

[cactuslady]

Cactus,

 

Thank you tackling that thorny issue. I must have been thinking of off-Broadway in my musings. I am prone to go overboard, although I attempt to avoid doing so during a cruise.

 

Call Me (piscatorially bent) Fishmeal

Oh, it was just astern warning, not aground for being fed to the fishies. Some leeway is in order, list we get wrapped too tight around the capstan. ;)