Will gay cruisers feel uncomfortable on non-gay cruise

[cands]

It would be nice to get a dining room seating assignment with another gay couple. I wonder if this is something people request when booking... I'll start a thread on that.[/QUOTE]

Be careful what you wish for. We travelled from Sydney to San Francisco on the Oriana a few years back. For some of the journey another gay couple were allocated to our table for eight. It was tricky for them to join a table where the other six people had a start in getting to know each other, but everyone made quite an effort.

Unfortunately one of the other gay men was a bit excruciating. After they disembarked and the cruise went on, the two straight couples very delicately raised the issue of the difficulties.

The gay part was clearly not the issue. Nearly every night we were last in the dining room as one of the straight couples were such interesting conversationalists.

I think it's more about being an experienced international traveller than the gay/straight issue.

With the bed game we have more trouble getting single beds (one too hot or one too cold issue). Often staff think we are being coy but we prefer singles and we have to pursuade them that it's what we want.

Happy travelling

Chris

[Crew32]

My Gf and I just took our first cruise together. We had a blast. We had no problems, and even requested "couple" pictures for the formal night pictures sessions.

[Ephraim]

Well, my partner and I have been on 5 cruises, and leaving on our 6 on the 1st of May.

The Carnival was one of the four day cruises, and well, I don't suggest a Carnival cruise to ANYONE. They put us at a table with a couple (who never came back) and four rowdy single women who thought that we were new meat! They were so drunk on the last day that one of them actually hit me.

We have always been treated well on NCL. In fact, we wish that they were sailing where we wanted to go. (We like the Southern Caribbean, not much into the Western).

We have had two incidents on Princess, but they were quickly resolved. One involved a photographer, who on the formal night went from table to table, but skipped ours. The maitre d' was very upset, when we told him. And we were treated like Kings in the dining room after that. The other was an invitation to the art gallery that was sent in the name of Mr. and Mrs. We just laughed at that, and then introduced ourselves as Mr. and Mrs. all night long.

On the Princess cruise we met a lot of the gay staff, including the gay and bisexual CD staff. They were always coming around and talking to us. One night, we were invited to dinner with two other British couples (straight)... they were delightful people, until she had a bit too much to drink. It was hilarious, she was asking the most inappropriate sexual questions and her husband was trying to show a brave face. After dinner was the champagne pouring, and all the CDs were coming by to say hello to us. And as they did, she would ask them their sexual orientation, and what they liked to do in bed, and what kind of guys they slept with. It was very funny, but they did avoid us for the rest of the evening, at least until she left!

We live in Canada (Quebec) and have little or no problems. I actually get upset and insulted when Americans ask us if we are "brothers". A question that we have never been asked by Canadians, so far, at least. I always ask if they would ask the same question of a man and a woman. (We did have one problem at a Toronto Hotel, once, but the person was a recent immigrant and didn't know better).

We are a couple, and have been together for over 15 years. We don't have any Gay couple friends, almost all of our friends are straight couples. We hold the most in common with couples.... straight or gay. Never been on an all-gay vacation/cruise.

We have met a few Gay couples online. Most were afraid of saying anything to us. We go to the FOD party and introduce ourselves, if there is one. And we like to share tables... though we often find that others aren't interested in sharing. We have very little trouble with table companions, the ones who are interested in sharing a table are usually more interested in having a good conversation and learning about others, then in worrying about who sleeps with who.

Carnival Holiday (California)
NCL Wind (W Caribbean)
NCL Sky (S Caribbean)
Princess Golden (S Caribbean)
Princess Golden (S Caribbean)

[joeyanddavid]

We have been cruising only a short time , 3 crusies to date one on Carnival and 2 on HAL, After the Carnival expierence, I always request a table for two.

When we are on Vacation we are alone so no one bothers us service attitude is cool. Plus On the first Day aboard I go to the Depatment heads of the different Department to confirm all pre cruise orders, This way I am assurred that my expierenced will be as ordered ..(at least most of the times..LOL ) and it alerts the staff that there is an Alternative married couple aboard.

I really felt that Carnival wasnt as tolerant as some of its other lines..ie HAL.
But Neither line really offended either myself or David..[img]http://messages.cruisecritic.com/images/smilies/cool.gif[/img]

joey

[garykool81]

[quote name='joeyanddavid']We have been cruising only a short time , 3 crusies to date one on Carnival and 2 on HAL, After the Carnival expierence, I always request a table for two.[/QUOTE]

You'll likely find other lines to be far more accomodating, such as HAL, Celebrity and the other "premium" and "luxury" lines.

Through using these boards and the roll call features both on the straight-side and gay-end of CruiseCritic.com, Ian and I have on every cruise been able to meet fellow gay couples (female and male) weeks in advance. We then combine reservation numbers for dinner, allowing us to be seated together.

In the times that we have spent sitting with random folks (typically on NCL during freestyle dining), we've had overly good experiences. One time we sat with an entire family from Boston who I am absolutely certain figured out we were a couple within only a few minutes. They were wonderful folks.

Also sat with an a gentleman and his sister from the NYC area aboard NCL's Sea on a trip to Bermuda. These folks were wonderful...ended up having a three hour dinner as Ian and the sister spoke about their mutual love for cooking, and the gentleman and myself spoke about our love of cruising. I seem to remember Empress of the Seas with RCCL being his favorite ship...he had been on it more than TEN times LOL.

And the last time, we landed at lunch in a rather awkward situation. We approached the table and realized that they had put us with a very old, very cowboy-like Texas couple...hat, jeans and all. We though to ourselves "Oh s***," but they turned out to be OK. They never asked the ridiculous question of, "Oh, you two look nothing alike, but you must be brothers, right?"

I am guessing either they didn't care how we knew each other, or were polite enough to simply not bring up the topic -- which is typically the case with the older generation of Americans who were actually taught manners.

[Ephraim]

We have never had a problem on NCL, and the staff was always nice. We were offended at how some of the guests treat the foreigners on the ship. Personally, I like meeting people from different cultures and I try to learn a few words, so I can say Hello and Thank you. But, I have heard people (Americans almost exclusively) make remarks because they aren't perfectly bilingual. Then again, these are the same people who can't speak anything BUT English themselves, and think the world should speak English, because they do.

The only bad experience that we have ever had at a shared table was one day when we were seated with two Spanish speaking couples. They simply ignored us. We love to share a table, but we find that not enough people want to share one. We were also left at a table for six or eight once, since no one joined us! The staff was very apologetic, but no one wanted to share that evening.

We never really tell people about our relationship, we just assume that they know, and if they have a problem with it, then that is THEIR problem, and it doesn't reflect on us, at all.

To be honest, we have much more trouble in the US than we ever have in Canada. I find that most Canadians just don't care about such things... unless they come from the red-neck provinces. And this is a very small minority.

[jorgra]

[quote name='Ephraim']We have never had a problem on NCL, and the staff was always nice. We were offended at how some of the guests treat the foreigners on the ship. Personally, I like meeting people from different cultures and I try to learn a few words, so I can say Hello and Thank you. But, I have heard people (Americans almost exclusively) make remarks because they aren't perfectly bilingual. Then again, these are the same people who can't speak anything BUT English themselves, and think the world should speak English, because they do.

The only bad experience that we have ever had at a shared table was one day when we were seated with two Spanish speaking couples. They simply ignored us. We love to share a table, but we find that not enough people want to share one. We were also left at a table for six or eight once, since no one joined us! The staff was very apologetic, but no one wanted to share that evening.

We never really tell people about our relationship, we just assume that they know, and if they have a problem with it, then that is THEIR problem, and it doesn't reflect on us, at all.

To be honest, we have much more trouble in the US than we ever have in Canada. I find that most Canadians just don't care about such things... unless they come from the red-neck provinces. And this is a very small minority.[/QUOTE]

HELLO!
We live in Antioch CA (east bay SF), on a very family oriented town and never had a problem with anybody.
We are a very low key couple, together for 11 years and treat everyone with respect, so We expect the same.
We are going on NCL Star Mexican Riviera next month, We have been on RCCL Explorer of the Seas and never felt out of place. The way We see it is that anybody that wonders about Us all they have to do is ask. If they are uncomfortable, well sorry for them, We just go about Our business and enjoy Our vacation.
We have never been on a gay cruise, I'm 38, my partner is 47, so We are past the party scene, We just enjoy a relaxed vacation.

[howndder]

:) Holland America now will upon request hold a FOD meeting. You must contact the cruise director, but it is now company policy to have these meetings upon request. Yes you must actually request it. Holland is great and all the passengers gay and straight are there to have a good time.

Tell your brother he must go.

Howard

[kwokpot]

I posted a response to another thread similar to this, but wanted to include my post in this thread as well, so I cut and pasted below:


There seems to be alot of questions about how gay men and women will feel on a regular, non gay-chartered event. These questions seem a bit odd to me since in most cases, there is very little discussion about the how the poster in question generally lives their lives; in other words, are they in the closet at work and in the gerneral public, or do they live there lives as out gay & lesbian people. I think that would make a HUGE difference in how one perceives his/her cruiseship vacation experience.

A meet & greet session (not a FOD mixer) is going to be no different than meeting a bunch of people in general setting. I'm not quite sure why many gays and lesbians feel a cruise ship is going to be that different than any other general setting.

Before my partner & I decided cruises as a vacation option, the issue was whether we would feel 'trapped' or bored on a ship, not whether we would have a problem with the other passengers.

After 8 cruises, none of them gay or on premium lines, I don't find interacting with the passengers any different than when I go to a restaurant, hotel, moviehouse, theater, or for that matter, when I go to the office. You will find people that are nice, mean, smart, dumb, condesending, accommodating, attractive, unattractive, bigoted, cosmopolitian, ....you get the picture.

Now, if you lead a closeted, keep-to-yourself type of life, and nobody knows that you're gay and have a partner, well then, my question to you is what do you do when you're on a land-based vacation? Again, my experiences on a cruiseship vacation vs a land-based vacation are not any different. Even in 2005, there are hotel front desks that will automatically assign me a 2 bedded room when my parter and I check in. On the other hand, when enjoying a land resort's swwimming pool and sun deck, my partner & I have never had any issues, ever, with any guests or staff.

The point of my post is that a non-chartered cruise vacation is going to have the same type of people that you meet in every day life, from around the country and the world. How YOU feel and interact is based on your own issues of being gay and lesbian. If you do not lead your life as an out individual (And I'm not making a judgement here), then you will encounter the same issues on a cruise vacation.

[CACruizer]

My partner Jim and I (44/41) have sailed only on non-gay cruises and have enjoyed every one. As stated on the earlier posts if you sail on the premium lines you shouldn't have a problem.

Being friendly and chatting with other passengers also makes the cruise worthwhile. We seem to always befriend either a Staff member, entertainers and other passengers and meet up for cocktails, participate in games and events.

We are pretty much very friendly and make alot a friends onboard with both straight and gay couples and still keep in touch with them either via emails or telephone calls.

Rolando & Jim

[Bryan&Roger]

Me and the boy friend were celebrating our 10th anniversary with trip on Coral Princess. That morning we opened the cabin door and there were balloons and note saying [color=red][b][i]Happy Anniversary[/i][/b][/color] from Princess. Nice touch.
Bryan and Roger :)

[natalie2727]

My partner and I have been on two regular cruises. On the first one, we asked for a small table, hoping to get one for two, but instead we were seated with a young straight couple from the midwest who were not overtly rude to us, but seemed puzzled by us, and were not very friendly. Looking back, I wish we had asked to change tables, since we had nothing in common with them. On the last one, we asked for a larger table, and got two VERY nice couples who were very friendly to us. We had a great time with them. Other than this little matter, we have had no other problems. I prefer regular cruises because they are much cheaper than gay cruises.

[johnsfo]

My partner and I have only been on 'regular' cruises. I Personally, I do not think that I would be comfortable on an all gay cruise. We have been on Celebrity Mercury twice, HAL Prinsendam once, and Crystal Harmony once. Enjoy!!

[freddie]

My partner of nearly 31 years (yikes!!) and I have never encountered anything close to antigay behavior on the cruises we have taken, all of which have been non-gay. From time to time, we have experienced humorous interactions, particularly from well-meaning people (generally from the Mid-West) who ask whether we are brothers, even though we do not look at all alike, or, as on our last cruise on the RSSC Paul Gauguin in French Polynesia, a rather eccentric old gal from Florida who thought we were in the entertainment industry (undoubtedly due to my matinee-idol good looks - or, more likely, to my similarity to the famous portly profile of Alfred Hitchcock) and stated that she really didn't understand "you entertainment people"!! Since we are from the Pacific Northwest and not remotely connected to "the industry", we found her comments peculiar but funny. And on a formal night on a cruise in the Baltics two years ago, a lady approached Pat and me as we sat with three marvelous guys we'd met on board and dramatically declared that, "All of you five men look so gorgeous that you simply must look after all of these single girls on the ship!" We thanked her for the compliment but did not point out that we really did not have a copy of the manual for how to look after girls, single or otherwise.

We certainly understand the problems that can arise regarding assigned seating. When we took cruises with assigned seating, we either arranged a table for two for the entire cruise, or, as on a Greek Islands cruise, arranged a table with the two old friends - a mother and daughter - with whom we were traveling. We did not want to take a chance of being stuck for ten days at a table with Jake Snake and his wife from Serpent, Idaho. On our more recent cruises, on RSSC, we have had the wonderful luxury of entirely open dining, which allows us to dine when we wish, with whom we wish, whether that is just the two of us, or with a nice couple (straight or gay) whom we met earlier in the evening in the piano bar, or with six or eight people we know from an excursion. As it has turned out, on our last three cruises, we never ate dinner at a table for two. Rather, we have had every dinner at a table of four, six, eight, or ten, all with people with whom we wished to dine. Thus, dear friends, if you can go on a cruiseline with open dining (there are more of them all the time, since this is such a popular feature of cruising), you can have the best of choices - when you want a romantic dinner with just the two of you, you can do so, or when you want to be social (and not talk to your partner who was mean to you earlier in the day when you said that he did indeed look fat in that tank top and would be better advised to wear a simple tropical motif caftan), you can dine with a number of people.

We have also found that the significant number of gay staffers on cruise ships are usually quite friendly. On RSSC Voyager, in fact, the CD made a point of always coming over to our little group of five in the piano bar and chatting about the day's events.

Take the cruise you want to take, irrespective of its being a non-gay cruise. You will likely meet a few delightful people of the breeder persuasion and a few of us Friends of Dorothy, as well. Cheers, Fred

[pugetmandm]

We're just back from the Zuiderdam on June 4th. We had a great time. The cruise director was very willing to post FOD gatherings in a nice room adjacent to the bar. We had 6-7 couples...very friendly. We were put at a table for four with another gay couple (not by design) and it was great. The staff were fine, not a hint of bullsh*t.

[kevinsac]

Uncomfortable? Hell no! In fact, I have never taken a gay cruise.....that concept is a bit foreign to me.

[BMW325]

My first cruise was on Carnival last October. I went with my ex (we are now good friends). It was only a 3 night cruise and on the last day, we decided to have breakfast in the dining room instead of the buffet. We were seated at a table for 8 with 5 people already being there. There was a couple on the end of the table sitting across from eachother and we were seated next to them. After we were seated, the male got up and asked the maitre' d if he could seat US somewhere else!!!! My buddy heard the conversation, I wasn't aware until he told me after breakfast. Needless to say, the couple did not mutter a word the entire time and sat as close to the edge of the table withouth their food falling off. Neither of us 'prance' around the dining room and I was surprised that they just assumed that two guys together had to be gay.
I am going on my second cruise with Royal Caribbean on 9-3-05 with my current partner and hope that something like this doesn't happen again. Other than that brief uncomfortable 30 minutes on Carnival, the rest of the cruise was great and had no problems.

[mdbearcub]

Hi all,

I just joined CC so I've been reading all the older posts.

My partner and I have been on 4 cruises (non-gay) and had some unusual experiences. Our first cruise on the Infinity we had an early seating for a table of eight. We got to our table early the second night (first night assigned seating) and we met a great straight couple from Canada. The third couple showed up (mid-westerners) and seemed uncomfortable sitting with a male couple. They left the table before we ordered dinner and asked the Maitre'D for another table. We did see a fourth couple headed our way, but I think when they saw us they did an about face and visited the maitre'D. That was fine by us, we shared the rest of the cruise with a fun straight couple with plenty of room (four people at a table for eight).

Second cruise was on Celebrity Galaxy and we had terrific table-mates - no problem there. However we had a problem with our Cabin Steward. He was a tad homophobic - was reluctant to shake our hands when he introduced himself. Looked askance when we asked that our beds be placed together. He didn't want to step into the room for anything if we were present. i.e. delivering ICE - picking up laundry, while we saw him do that for other "straight" couples. We did complain at the Guest Services desk, but they claimed they couldn't do anything. So we steered clear of Mr. Steward and shortchanged him on his tip for not being as attentive to detail as he should have been.

Third cruise - Celebrity Summit - Great Table mates again. No problems with any of the Cruise folk.

Fourth cruise - RCI Rhapsody - good table mates - we had lots of fun. Our table was really mixed. An older couple, two younger sisters, a wife and her hunky husband the Doctor - and Dan and I - two middle aged bearish Gay men. We were allowed to be ourselves and they seemed amazed that Dan and I had been together since 1989.

So - my experiences have been both positive - very positive to downright negative. Still - its what you make of the cruise. You can hide in your cabin and order room service each day - or you can go and meet new folks, accepting folks who are truly interested in getting to know you better.

Hugs,

[Schplinky]

[quote name='mdbearcub']

Second cruise was on Celebrity Galaxy and we had terrific table-mates - no problem there. However we had a problem with our Cabin Steward. He was a tad homophobic - was reluctant to shake our hands when he introduced himself. Looked askance when we asked that our beds be placed together. He didn't want to step into the room for anything if we were present. i.e. delivering ICE - picking up laundry, while we saw him do that for other "straight" couples. We did complain at the Guest Services desk, but they claimed they couldn't do anything. So we steered clear of Mr. Steward and shortchanged him on his tip for not being as attentive to detail as he should have been. [/QUOTE]

why would they not be able to do anything, I wonder? i'm sure that if he failed to properly service a straight couple (poor choice of words), he would be spoken to. I am going on Celebrity this winter and a part of the reason we chose it was all the stories of great service but I can tell you I'm nervous now because of all the negative stories I read about them on the net. One tries to take it with a grain of salt but the these seems to be that on Celebrity, everything is great until there's a problem and then they're just awful

[mdbearcub]

Please don't misunderstand my post. We've been on Celebrity three times and we consider them the best line.

When we complained about our cabin steward at Guest Relations they said they could not do anything like give us another steward (I didn't understand that since I'm sure the assistant steward would have been happy to take care of us). Now Guest Relations did offer to change our cabin, but since we only had three days left on our cruise, we certainly did not want to pack up and move. Especially since we had a prime cabin to begin with - bow/starboard corner - huge cabin - with walk-in closet. the best cabin I've ever had.

So go on Celebrity - enjoy it. Most of ship's staff were very gay friendly. We had a great time with Wine Steward - a lovely blond woman from Germany - everyone called her the "Ya-Ya" girl.

Have Fun -

[etoile]

I was disappointed that there was no FOD party on the Galaxy, especially because the CD seemed to be family, but it was still a reasonably good experience. Our only minor negative was a photographer who didn't want to acknowledge we were a couple, other than that it was fine. We didn't engage in major PDA or anything because my wife is not into that, so we didn't have to deal with dirty looks at all.